7 months into the 2 week wait. . ..how do I know I'm ready?

[Eireann]

Last halloween, I wore a wig of a short bob and got a lot of positive feedback. In my single days, I would have gone to the hair salon the next day, but my DH loves my long hair and I like making him happy.

In December, I switched from chemical hair color to hennindigo and adopted a "no 'poo" regimine, resulting in lots of new growth and less shedding. This, of course, is great, but it has resulted in a lot of varying lengths of hair. I am now even more tempted to chop for a fresh start and a new look. Add to that, my father recently passed away, so I'm feeling a spiritual need to start a new phase in my life. I'm thinking a slightly inverted layered bob, colar-bone length in front and slightly shorter in back. My hair is fine and wavy with lots of cowlicks. I've collected a bunch of pictures for ideas (Scarlett Johansson and Nicole Ritchie for example). I've consulted sisters and girlfriends, who are all enthusiastic and supportive of whatever I decide. I am committed to maintaining healthy LHC practices even at a shorter length.

So, I believe it's time to take the plunge, but I know DH will be disappointed, and that fact makes it hard to get over the last doubts. I don't want to be controlled by his preferences, but I don't want to do something I'll regret.

Help!!

[LadyCelestina]

Get a long hair wig?

If the spiritual urge is very strong,cut it.I think happiness and peace of mind is still the most important thing when it comes to (and not just) hair.
But if the new growth is what is bothering you,I don't see how a bob would solve it,esp. a layered bob?Do you mean that your ends look thin to you when you say "varying lengths of hair"?

[Eireann]

I understand what you're saying, but there's a difference in my mind between a few well cut layers and having half my hair randomly 10 inches shorter than the rest. I think the reason the new growth tempts me to cut is that the last 7 months of growth, while not strictly virgin because I've been hennindigo-ing, at least it has been spared the assault of box dye and sulfite shampoos.

ETA: Thanks for the feedback. It's good to think this through!

[CurlyCaz]

Hmm I would think very carefully if I were you.

My hair was APL (longest I've ever had it) and I cut it into a layered bob. It was quite short at the back like cut into my neck.

The first day I loved it then after that I absolutely hated it and wanted long hair back.

I waited ages to grow it, got the longest bit to shoulders, shortest part to chin and my hairdresser said if I wanted to grow it (which I did) I would need to get it cut all one length...the shortest length (chin) It looked ridiculous and I hated it even more.

It's now all at my shoulders and I want it much, much longer. It was chin length in September 2012 and it's now July so it's taken quite a while to get to this length.

I wouldn't want you to regret it like I did. Another question I would ask you is what is your hair texture? I spent hours looking at photos of bobs which had clearly been blow dried and straightened and then when I had that cut on my wavy/wurly hair it did not look the same!

[Eireann]

Thanks, CurlyCaz. My hair is very fine and whispy. In this humidity (I live in Southeastern USA), the shorter hairs stick out the side of my head like the Wolverine. :(

Maybe the first step is a substantial trim (i.e. from tailbone to mid-back) to even up lengths, and see how I feel about it. I think I am experiencing what my friend calls "PMS Perm Syndrome", i.e. internal restlessness manifesting in the urge to change my hair.

[CurlyCaz]

I think that's a much better idea. Mid back is still a big change and will make it look healthier but wouldn't be as bad as a bob if you did regret it.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

[millyaulait]

I absolutely know how you feel about a 'spiritual need to start a new phase in my life', I cut my hair off & it made me happy. I felt spiritually lighter, more free, able to cope better, like I could let go. It sounds silly but it really helped with the grieving process somehow. Growing it back wasn't a struggle since a bob isn't all that awkward to phase out, mine was inverted too. My BF at the time actually wasn't really all that cool with it, he loves long hair too, but I think guys (sorry, I'm going to generalize here, forgive me!) picture a hair change to look bad, they are bad at imagining it. Like a wig doesn't really look the same as your actual hair would. My BF was surprised at how much he loved my new hair - it wasn't how he had imagined it - I think he thought I would look like a 'soccer mom' or something.

As for your DH... A preference is a preference, he will get over it, and he will probably love your new hair after a little while - after all, it is attached to *you*. :)

Don't let his preferences get in the way of you doing this if this is what you want. /ramble

[Eireann]

I'm going for it. I have an appointment on Saturday. DH isn't thrilled, but I promised him I wouldn't get a pixie cut, so I think that helped a little. I've enlisted my SIL to help him cope with the transition. LOL!

I am so eternally grateful for all the wisdom and kindness I've experienced on LHC. I plan to continue to lurk here for hair care ideas, and I may decide to grow my hair back out some day (maybe even right after cutting it). But, if I'm no longer a long hair, I probably won't post as often.

Thank you all for walking with me on this beautiful journey.

Peace be,

e

[spidermom]

You will always have hairs of varying lengths because of the shed and regrow cycle.

I hope you're planning to try the mid back before the bob.

[Ravenwind]

From experience, I had a short layered angled bob and my hair is naturally wavy. You can only guess how that turned out ;) it sounded like a good idea at first but my hair got so poofy and the cut was also uneven so that didn't help either. I don't know how long your hair is but I would cut your hair shorter gradually and see what you like best. Whatever you choose I hope you like it :)

[Neecola]

Good luck with the cut Eireann! Sounds like you have really thought it through. Hope you'll come back with pics of your new 'do :)

[jacqueline101]

I'd think twice about the bob I mean they're great but would you miss your long hair.

[Leeloo]

I used to think that my hair would hang differently if I cut it shorter, so it would look better, but it looks the same way just shorter unless I style it every day :shrug:

[CurlyCaz]

Are you getting a bob or shoulder?

I really don't think you should get a bob. I didn't say it before but trust me, you will regret it. I'm speaking from experience.

It will not sit nicely like all the pictures you would have seen (where it's been straightened and blow dried loads)

Please think carefully.

[Eireann]

Thanks for all the input. I've tentatively decided on a shoulder length bob, like Jessica Alba, Nicole Richie and Scarlett Johansson, but I'll discuss with my stylist how it will work with my hair and lifestyle. It has to be long enough to put up, but needn't be any longer than that. Although there's no guarantee I won't regret it, I've been thinking about it for long enough that I'm feeling pretty sure. I loved loved loved my long hair for the the past few years, but I feel in my bones that it's time to let it go.

Merry meet, merry part and merry meet again.

Eireann

[AnnaB]

to be honest if you still have doubts then I would wait. Yes hair growths back but so slowly! So be positive its what you want to do, and I'm sure your husband will love you no matter what length it is :)

[seamonster]

I am excited for your beautiful new hair style. Glad you decided on shoulder length or longer.

[palaeoqueen]

From experience, I had a short layered angled bob and my hair is naturally wavy. You can only guess how that turned out ;) it sounded like a good idea at first but my hair got so poofy and the cut was also uneven so that didn't help either. I don't know how long your hair is but I would cut your hair shorter gradually and see what you like best. Whatever you choose I hope you like it :)


I agree. Please think carefully, my hair is fine and wavy with cowlicks and any sort of cut above collarbone is a disaster without a LOT of styling. Bobs are slightly easier to style but only because there's less hair to deal with, they still need blowdrying and straightening.

Of course it's your hair and your choice, I just want you to go into this with your eyes wide open.

[Eireann]

I did it an I love it!! It's about collar-bone length in front and slightly angled to the back. It's long enough to put up, but looks thick and healthy and bouncy down. I experimented yesterday with letting it air dry, and it was perfectly well behaved. (I give my stylist full credit for that.)

In answer to my own question that started this thread, and to others who may be asking the same thing, when you're ready you'll know. I loved my long hair for most of the 5 years I had it. I cherished it and treasured it and monitored it and played with it. It was a part of me and central to my self-identity. But, in the last 6 months it was starting to be a burden rather than a treasure, and a symbol of who I used to be, if that makes any sense at all. (And, yes, I know it's just hair, but if anyone can relate to the spiritual symbolism of hair it's the folks on LHC). Letting go of my hair feels like opening a door to a new stage of life. It was by no means certain that I would feel this way, and I had my doubts right up to the minutes he made the chop. But after he made the first cut of most of the length, and I saw the long lock of hair sitting on his counter while he finished the style, it didn't seem like mine at all. I thought I would want to keep it as a memento, but I realized that would have defeated the whole thing.

So, anyway, thanks again for all the knowledge and support. I will continue to use all the wonderful hair care techniques I've learned here and may even contribute from time to time. When the day comes (which it will) that I decide to grow my hair long again, I will be back with a vengeance!

Peace,

Eireann

[lapushka]

I'm thinking a slightly inverted layered bob, colar-bone length in front and slightly shorter in back. My hair is fine and wavy with lots of cowlicks. I've collected a bunch of pictures for ideas (Scarlett Johansson and Nicole Ritchie for example). I've consulted sisters and girlfriends, who are all enthusiastic and supportive of whatever I decide. I am committed to maintaining healthy LHC practices even at a shorter length.

If your hair is wavy, with lots of cowlicks, then a styled bob like you want is going to give you an assignment in styling it - daily.

[owlathena]

I did it an I love it!! It's about collar-bone length in front and slightly angled to the back. It's long enough to put up, but looks thick and healthy and bouncy down. I experimented yesterday with letting it air dry, and it was perfectly well behaved. (I give my stylist full credit for that.)

In answer to my own question that started this thread, and to others who may be asking the same thing, when you're ready you'll know. I loved my long hair for most of the 5 years I had it. I cherished it and treasured it and monitored it and played with it. It was a part of me and central to my self-identity. But, in the last 6 months it was starting to be a burden rather than a treasure, and a symbol of who I used to be, if that makes any sense at all. (And, yes, I know it's just hair, but if anyone can relate to the spiritual symbolism of hair it's the folks on LHC). Letting go of my hair feels like opening a door to a new stage of life. It was by no means certain that I would feel this way, and I had my doubts right up to the minutes he made the chop. But after he made the first cut of most of the length, and I saw the long lock of hair sitting on his counter while he finished the style, it didn't seem like mine at all. I thought I would want to keep it as a memento, but I realized that would have defeated the whole thing.

So, anyway, thanks again for all the knowledge and support. I will continue to use all the wonderful hair care techniques I've learned here and may even contribute from time to time. When the day comes (which it will) that I decide to grow my hair long again, I will be back with a vengeance!

Peace,

Eireann



I definitely understand the spiritual connection to your hair! I'm glad you love it!

(I know I'm not the only one who wants to see pictures!)

[owlathena]

Double post -.-

[WilfredAllen]

I definitely understand the spiritual connection to your hair! I'm glad you love it!

(I know I'm not the only one who wants to see pictures!)

I was going to say the same thing :p