Your Hair Is Fried

[jennescence]

So I had a friend tell e today that my hair is fried:( I want to cry. I do not use heat on my hair. I wash it twice a week with sulfate free shampoo. I have not been doing deep treatments because coconut oil makes my hair hard , and all other conditioners I feel just mask the damage. I wear my hair up every single day and I use a wide toothed wooden comb. I am trying very hard. I feel like there is no point in having long hair if it is damaged. Now i'm thinking of going to a salon and having them cut all the damage off. Here is the thing tho. I don't feel like it is damaged. Dry, yes. Every treatment I use seems not to work. I'm so confused. I will attach a picture of my hair so you guys can see. Basically what I want to know is to cut it or not to cut it?http://i1174.photobucket.com/albums/r616/jennifer_howard1/hair.jpg (http://s1174.photobucket.com/user/jennifer_howard1/media/hair.jpg.html)

[BambooBeauty]

I think you have pretty hair.

[jennescence]

Thank you very much:) I'm not trying to get compliments I promise. I just know my friends on here will give me an honest opinion. Plus I forgot to mention I think the girl might be a tiny bit jealous because she cut all her long hair off.

[jeanniet]

I think it looks fine, although it's hard to tell from the picture. I'm confused, though. Do you mean you wash with shampoo and don't use any conditioner? If so, you probably need to start using conditioner, because that alone could explain the dryness. Just find one that works for you. Tresemme Naturals Moisture (not the Volume) conditioner is pretty inexpensive, and very good. Light oilings are also helpful, but they don't moisturize your hair, only help your hair hold onto moisture.

What kind of deep treatments have you tried? There's no one treatment that works for everyone. Another thing to consider is whether your water is very hard. That can cause buildup on your hair, and make it feel dry.

[BambooBeauty]

lots of people say mean things to make themselves feel better....do you use any leave in products?

[AmyBeth]

Judging by the photo, I'd be proud to have hair like yours. I say she might actually be suffering a case of sour grapes since she surrendered to the urge to cut her hair off. Do keep experimenting with conditioners- remember, expensive doesn't necessarily mean better.

[jennescence]

Oh yeah I use conditioner. I have been using Loreal Evercreme shampoo and conditioner. After I get out of the shower the only thing I use in it is Suave sleek anti-frizz cream.

[jennescence]

i have not been using any oils in it. The last one I used was emu oil but it stinks so much I can't stand it.

[jennescence]

Thank you guys:) I'm sorry for the bad quality picture but I don't have any fancy devices to take pictures with. I just really have no idea how to deal with hair honestly. I do not know how anything can moisturize if it just sits on the hair so I use nothing.

[jennescence]

and the only deep treatment I have used are Olive oil, Coconut oil, emu oil and aussie 3 minute miracle

[Firefox7275]

I can't tell from the photo, but if your hair was fried you'd have tangly ends, white dots and splits. If the hair is dull or rough consider doing a clarifying or chelating wash, switching to products at pH 4.5 to 5.5 to keep the cuticle laying flat. If it feels dry work with your hair properties to hydrate it - humectants are key here depending on the dew points but need to be balanced with other conditioning agents (emollients and occlusives).What is your full routine including products? Alternatives to coconut oil that can still penetrate include palm kernel oil, tucuma butter, babassu oil, sweet almond oil and avocado oil. Other proven ingredients for damaged or porous hair include hydrolysed protein, ceramides and panthenol.Conditioners do more than just hide the damage they can patch repair damage, help the cuticle lay flat, reduce friction when brushing combing and styling, help the hair hold more water. Even sulphate free shampoo 'alters' hair, think of conditioner as resetting some of the negative changes.If you don't understand haircare but want to do some research. There is loads of information here on LHC, also various science based articles elsewhere online like the 'curl chemist' articles on Naturallycurly.com (you don't have to be curly to benefit!), Natural Haven blog, Swiftcraftymonkey blog, YouTube videos like the Science of Black Hair (you don't have to have black hair to benefit!).

[TiaKitty]

Your hair looks lovely. I'd be willing to bet your friend is jealous or has a different hair type and doesn't understand what "fried" means.

[akilina]

The picture quality makes it so you can't tell but I HIGHLY doubt your hair is *fried* !! :o from some of your replies, perhaps your hair is just a little dry. Yes, oils and products will help add moisture back into your hair....,omitting these things is not doing you any favors though, I'd say.

[GrowingOut]

Don't cut your hair! It seems very nice.

Remember, 2 week rule as well. If you still want to cut, it's up to you.

[jennescence]

Oh wow akilina your hair is beautiful. You are beautiful! My full Range of products are Loreal Evercreme Shampoo and Conditioner and Suave Anti-Frizz Cream. Once a month i use Neutrogena Clarifying Shampoo. Other than that i use nothing. i bought an electric heat cap but I don't even use that. I thought about sealing my hair like African americans do. Putting oil and glycerin on my wet hair.

[jeanniet]

I'm pretty sure the Evercreme and Anti-Frizz are both heavy in silicones, so it may be that you just need to clarify more often than once a month. Cones can build up quickly for some people more than others. I think it's a good idea to do a deep treatment after clarifying, too. Maybe try clarifying twice a month and see if that improves the dryness? If you do want to try oiling, use just a small amount on damp hair.

[jennescence]

I want to switch to a natural shampoo bar eventually. just doing my research to see if it's worth it.

[LaurelSpring]

Your hair is awesome. Don't cut it. I had a "friend" once make mean comments about my long hair and said I should act my age and cut it. This same "friend" (older than me)went out and spent a lot of money on a long wig and tried to grow her hair but never could. If I listened to other people I wouldn't have long hair! You know your hair. You love your hair. Don't let her ruin it. You cut it and she wins and you end up crying because you cut your beautiful hair. She will get over it.

[Natalia]

I dont find it looks "fried" just a tad dry. I once had a friend (who flat ironed twice a day, blow fried, and colored harshly on a whim with bleaching inbetween mind you) tell me i should hack my length off becasue i had too many split ends :rolleyes: . So first look at the source giving you such advice, then be patient. Try a few other treatments like yogurt, honey, pureed banana, or pureed avocado with olive oil while your experimenting you can decide if you want to trim, chop, or leave it alone.

[jennescence]

Thank you guys! You are all so sweet!

[Kyla]

In the photo your hair looks perfectly fine. :) I would experiment a bit more with deep treatments though, if I was you. Have you tried an SMT or a variation of? For some people, including me, just leaving conditioner in your hair for an hour or two makes it really soft. I also like to mix in heated honey and oil though.

[dulce]

Have you tried no shampoo non detergent cleansers which won't dry your hair out?And leave in conditioners?Your hair looks very pretty in the pic,my guess is your friend misses her long hair and wants you to join her in her misery!

[DancingQueen]

I think it looks fine. But try to soak your hair in avocado oil 2 haours before you take a shower. This is amazing for restoring moisture to the hair, and for me, it lasts for weeks. ;)

[Latte Lady]

You might just be one of those that need to do frequent deep conditioning. I do a deep condish every three weeks after I clarify, you might need one once a week. Maybe your hair products don't like you anymore. Happens sometimes. I can't tell much by your picture but what I see looks fine.

Strangely enough, I can't use all natural shampoos and conditioners. I know that they are supposed to be ultra gentle but they leave my hair stripped and tangle prone. I just don't like them at all! I did more damage to my hair trying to comb/brush it out after using them that I gave up and went back to Tresemme and Suave. At this point I say that if a clarifying and deep conditioning treatment doesn't greatly improve your situation, you may have to come to terms with the idea that maybe your hair isn't meant for the natural life. I'm discovering that I like cones waaay more than I thought I did. Yes, I need to clarify more often, as my hair builds up fast, but my hair looks fabulous up till then!

[tigereye]

Your hair looks similar to how mine did before I switched up my routine - dry but not damaged. I think your friend is having a bout of the green-eyed monster since she cut here off.

What sorted the dryness in my hair was cutting cones and sulphates. The conditioners you mention, I vaguely remember having a lot of cones in them, but you say you're using a sulphate-free shampoo, so of course there is going to be build-up, even clarifying every month or so (also drying). That build-up on mine, even using SLS-shampoos (which I turned out uber-sensitive to, and eventually ended up with sores and dandruff from) actually trapped the moisture OUT of my hair, and no amount of deep treatment would get it back in.
I clarified and switched to cone-free conditioner, and sulphate-free shampoo, and, with the help of some Nightbloomings Panacea, the condition of my hair improved massively in just a week or two. Not to mention my scalp was much happier.

[red-again]

If you are using a sulphate free shampoo, but coney co and leave in, then chances are you have build up. The gentle shampoo won't be able to remove the coney deposits and therefor no moisture can get through to your hair. In fact, it will make it look lank and awful if you do use them.
As others have said, I'd clarify / and or chelate with an sls shampoo or a swimmers shampoo. Then start using a cone free condish - timotei have just related a cone free organic range that I couldn't resist and I have to say, I am impressed so far.

Then moisture, look into nightblooming panacea for your ends, she sells a few types and from memory, there is a coconut oil free one. My hair hates coconut too but has no probs with any of the panaceas.

Btw your hair doesn't look fried!

[juliaxena]

I was just wondering if that was your natural color in the picture? It is very beautiful.

[Suze2012]

Does your hair shine more after the clarify?

For the record I don't think your hair looks bad at all but does look a little dry and over and above that your current routine is telling us that you're missing out on deep treats and possibly richer moisturisation.
When I began my hair journey last year mine was much much much dryer looking than yours - you have less of an issue than I did by far! :)

I actually don't do deep treats that often now (much less than I should) but I did at the start of my hair journey when I started conditioner only washing - it took a while to get the moisture levels up in my hair but I got there and now my hair shines (being a curly this is something I never experienced and never thought I would so it's a bonus for me).

When you used coconut oil did you also cover it with cling film or a plastic cap? That would keep the heat from your head in and stop the oil from going hard on your hair.

You could also try vitamin E oil - I hear it doesn't have much of a smell at all.

[Angelica]

You've got beautiful hair and it certainly doesn't look in bad condition. I also think your friend is jealous and rather spiteful to you in her comments.

[daredevil14]

Are you kidding me? No I mean, are your friend kidding us? Your hair looks almost perfect, love the texture and the color!

Sometimes, people are unaware about different aspects of hair and Hence, falsely judging our hairs! (Not to mention jealousy!)

[Firefox7275]

Cocoamidopropyl betaine can remove silicones just as sulphate surfactants do.

[Kherome]

I don't think it looks toasted. It's hard to say for sure from that photo, but I suspect it wouldn't hurt to lose 1 inch off the bottom. Other than that I would try laying off the cones, doing a chelating (not just clarifying) wash followed by a good dose of a heavy non-coney conditioner. Your friend sounds...not so friendly.

[jennescence]

I know my friend had never been mean to me before that. when I got the text my mouth kinda just fell open. i will have to wait til paycheck to get some new things to try. On my list now is Chelating Shampoo, Cone Free Conditioner , and Sulfate free Shampoo. Oh and avacado oil. I also realized something this morning. i drive with the windows down in the car because I have no ac. Im going to start wearing a scarf or something. Fill free to add to my list of things to buy! I think from what yall are saying I just need to experiment.

[jennescence]

Oh and Kherome your hair is absolutely beautiful.

[jennescence]

Plus I am going to try a vegetable oil and honey hair mask

[ooo]

Your picture is rather blurry, so it's hard to tell, whether your hair really does look fired.

[jennescence]

Your picture is rather blurry, so it's hard to tell, whether your hair really does look fired.
I know:( unfortunately I do not have a better camera:(

[Wildcat Diva]

Um... I don't think your friend is much of an expert on what makes hair "fried " nor on what the solution to your particular hair dilemma might be.

[torrilin]

and the only deep treatment I have used are Olive oil, Coconut oil, emu oil and aussie 3 minute miracle

Coconut oil works for me, tho it definitely isn't the easiest thing in the world to use "properly". My hair is fine and about average thickness and straight, so it packs pretty densely. It can be pretty hard to work oil in. The simplest method I've found is to braid my hair, dab a thin film of coconut oil on my hands, and smooth the oil over the braids. On my past waist length hair, that much oil will do *all* of my braided hair. At BSL, it was too much. I don't really think of that as a "deep treatment" tho... it's more a sealing use.

Aussie's Moist conditioner is silicone heavy, and it seems to be a favorite for a lot of curlies and wavies. It doesn't work all that well for me, but I have weird fragrance sensitivities and the scent on that one is an issue (same as it is for almost all products). Sounds like fragrance isn't an issue for you, so it might be worth trying. It's also pretty easy to find in giant bottles.

My go-to conditioners are Alaffia's Everyday Shea (which my hair slurps up, but doesn't give a lot of slip) and Alba Botanica's Leave In conditioner (which gives lots of slip and also gets slurped up easily). I wouldn't say they're perfect but since they're both fragrance free and work with my hair... I'll take it. The Alba Botanica one seems to work well for straight hair, wavy hair and curly hair, and the pricing is pretty reasonable. While both brands emphasize their "natural" ingredients, I don't particularly care. The relevant bit for me is that unlike a lot of mainstream brands, they'll sell me the fragrance free products I need.

It can also be worth experimenting with mixing stuff into your conditioner. Aloe gel is a humectant, so if you're in a humid climate it can be helpful. Oils might work better if they're mixed into your conditioner too... it's easier to spread a small amount all over your hair that way. I usually mix enough for one use at a time since I'm not real fond of mold, fungus and yeast having free reign in my bath products and I don't want to learn the ins and outs of preservatives in detail.

Another thing to think about is... if you've got access to a range of different oils in a way where you can sample, try dabbing some streaks on your hands to see which ones absorb well. For me cocoa butter absorbs really well, and so does olive oil and they both work well in my hair too if I can get the dose right. Oils that take forever to absorb on my skin also don't do well on my hair. This is (of course) real YMMV territory. But I'm pretty sure sampling and patch testing like that can't *hurt*.

[jennescence]

thanks that was very informative:) now im trying to decide if i should trim an inch off asmentioned by someone above.

[Anabell]

Thank you guys:) I'm sorry for the bad quality picture but I don't have any fancy devices to take pictures with. I just really have no idea how to deal with hair honestly. I do not know how anything can moisturize if it just sits on the hair so I use nothing.

They don't. Oils only separate the strands and minimize the tangles. Some of them get in the hair strand. Some of them sit on it and just protect it. But only water can moisturize. So you can put oil in dump hair and that way lock the water inside (because oil is hydrophobic so it reject the water).

Your hair is looks fine. I can't see any damage. Maybe it is dry, but you can fix it by experimenting and find what good for your hair and what is the problem.

[jacqueline101]

I don't think it's fried.

[jennescence]

thank you:) so instead of wasting my money on stuff I should just wet it and put oil on it and protect it?

[lapushka]

I can't tell from the photo, but if your hair was fried you'd have tangly ends, white dots and splits.

This. ^ This is very important advice. If you do not have splits or white dots, your hair isn't fried or damaged. Should you have splits or the odd white dot, a quick S&D session should solve that problem. No need to hack it all off, because someone said something. She could not have looked at your hair so closely to really notice splits or white dots.

[heidi w.]

Thanks for the advice, but your hair is not fried. Not even a little bit.
heidi w.

[chen bao jun]

some people get obnoxious when something is bothering them. One of my friends last week told me for the second time that she thinks my bun is 'tiny' and thus, that my hair isn't thick. I'm ignoring this and you should ignore your friend too and maybe tell her that you don't wish to discuss your hair with her and don't feel you need advice about it. And take the good advice given on here.
Although the photo was blurring, I would say your hair looked far from fried--in fact, very pretty hair.
My hair is so thick, by the way, that until I found this forum, I never met a hairtoy that it didn't break or snap. My friend's hair is thin and getting visibly thinner due to bleaching blonde and chemical perming. She has actually gone shopping with me for clip in extensions before to make it look thicker. I guess she thinks I have forgotten about this. I would also guess that your friend is not too happy with her recent haircut and that misery loves company.

[jennescence]

I have no white dots or splits? So im good? I trim half an inch every 3 months.

[jennescence]

And sorry if that sounded rude but i was guinuinly asking if im good lol

[vamq]

I genuinely think this is a bad case of the green-eyed monster.

As far as I can see, you don't have fried hair.
I read your profile, and see that you have wavy, coarse hair. To some people, this hairtype looks "dry", simply because of the way it is.
Sometimes, it seems that hair these days just has to be perfectly silk-smooth shiny in order to be healthy. Such a pity.

[tigereye]

thank you:) so instead of wasting my money on stuff I should just wet it and put oil on it and protect it?

perhaps, but it only worked for me AFTER getting rid of the cones, for the simple reason the build up locked out any moisture. Damp oiling works now that I'm cone-free, but I find its harder to judge the right amount, so I use panacea, but the idea is the same.

[HollyG]

your hair looks great!
People do have different opinions so some people will think it. I've seen people with MUCH worse hair than you

(treatments never worked for me either so i just used coconut oil on the ends of my hair morning and night which began working ;) )

[jennescence]

I feel like people use heat so they have no idea what real hair looks like anymore:( Have any of you tried the oil and honey treatment?

[starlamelissa]

Women friends are weird about hair. It's like bra cup sizes or body weight. I also think that healthy to some is flat iron straight or curling iron curly. Any real texture looks fried in comparison.

[Anabell]

thank you:) so instead of wasting my money on stuff I should just wet it and put oil on it and protect it?

If moisturize is your problem it is great way to give it some. I always oil my hair when it dump. I always lightly oil it after a wash. Some times occasionally I wet the ends just a little bit and re-oil them between the washes.
I suggest start with that. If it is build up issue, you can do a Apple vinegar rinse and see how your hair responds to that. I dilute two table spoons in half litter of water and rinse after shampoo and before the conditioner. You can start from one and see how it goes. If that two things doesn't work you can start buy a new products...

[jennescence]

exactly my thoughts. Why can't women just be happy for one another?

[Kherome]

Oh and Kherome your hair is absolutely beautiful.

Thank you


thanks that was very informative:) now im trying to decide if i should trim an inch off asmentioned by someone above.

A small trim is never a bad thing, IMO I'm one who prefers quality hair over just pushing for length at the expense of hair health.


perhaps, but it only worked for me AFTER getting rid of the cones, for the simple reason the build up locked out any moisture. Damp oiling works now that I'm cone-free, but I find its harder to judge the right amount, so I use panacea, but the idea is the same.

This is really important. A chelating wash is a must, again JMO.

[BlazingHeart]

I'm wondering if you might do better looking into CO, if your hair is on the dry side. A lot of wavy/wurly/curly folks seem to be happier off with conditioner only. That, at least, is something you can give a try very cheaply. Most VO5s and Suaves are good for conditioner only (just make sure there's no 'cones, and probably best to avoid protein if you're already on the dry side. I recall VO5's Kiwi-Lime Squeeze being a particular favorite. Don't try the VO5 moisture milks, they have protein in them. There's a huge long thread on conditioner only washing!) I can't speak for it myself, as I use shampoo, but it might be worth trying.

~Blaze

[jillosity]

This person is definitely not your friend, and people often will say hurtful things just to push your buttons to make themselves feel better. I will bet that she knows that you're trying to grow your hair and take good care of it, voila, instant way to hurt you! Try to avoid her and people like her.

[Mommyof4]

I had VELCRO hair, until using white vinegar! I love that stuff, it makes my hair feel and look like I used cones, but no build up or dryness!

*Btw, your hair looks great!

[Jenw777]

I don't think it looks fried. Actually, it looks a lot like my texture with the whirls, and I need tons of moisture. I CO wash and use a bit of almond oil on mine normally. I wouldn't worry about it. Trim an inch if you like or just S&D.

[martyna_22]

I honestly love your hair. As far as the picture is concerned, I'd love to have hair similar to yours.

[Siiri]

It could be your hair texture (wavy) that can make it look "fried" to some. Though to me it looks good. I have 1c or 2a hair, and when I comb it while it's damp, it becomes almost straight but frizzy. Some people associate frizz with dryness.

I'm no expert on the Curly girl method, but maybe some of it might work for you? You could try scrunching with a hair product (there are some natural alternatives too), and then no toughing while it dries? I'm planning to try just that for the days I'm wearing my hair down.

[Othala]

Your hair looks great as far as I can tell. Ignore your friend and get a good deep conditioning treatment.

[Accalia]

She's probably just jealous! Love your hair! <3 :D

[jennescence]

Do I HAVE to use a chelating shampoo to get off all the cones or can I just use Neutrogena Anti- Residue?

[biogirl87]

Jennescence, as far as I know chelating shampoos only get rid of mineral build-up (like hard water, calcium build-up). I know Neutrogena Anti-Residue is a clarifying shampoo but I think to get all the cones out of you hair you could just use any shampoo with sulfates that doesn't have cones in it (basically any Suave Naturals shampoo will work as will all VO5 shampoos that are not from their professional line). I think the shampoos that are specifically labeled clarifying or anti-residue are just a markerting plot to get us to spend more money. I don't think there's a reason to use specifically-labeled anti-residue shampoos if you already have sulfate shampoos that don't have cones in them.

Ladies, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong about clarifying shampoos.

[tigereye]

I just clarified with a regular SLS shampoo (followed by an SLS-free gentle one so my scalp wouldn't hate me so much with my SLS sensitivity). I didn't use a chelating one because I have really soft water where I live.

[Siiri]

Jennescence, as far as I know chelating shampoos only get rid of mineral build-up (like hard water, calcium build-up). I know Neutrogena Anti-Residue is a clarifying shampoo but I think to get all the cones out of you hair you could just use any shampoo with sulfates that doesn't have cones in it (basically any Suave Naturals shampoo will work as will all VO5 shampoos that are not from their professional line). I think the shampoos that are specifically labeled clarifying or anti-residue are just a markerting plot to get us to spend more money. I don't think there's a reason to use specifically-labeled anti-residue shampoos if you already have sulfate shampoos that don't have cones in them.

Ladies, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong about clarifying shampoos.

You're sort of right. I think you can get cones out with any sulfate, or apparently cocamidopropyl betaine, shampoo that doesn't have cones in it, because those would just replace the cones you are washing out, but there are other ingredients besides metals and cones that can build up, such as waxes, which are common in most shampoos and conditioners. So to get those out, you need a shampoo (baking soda might work too) that doesn't have them. Most clarifying shampoos however do have ingredients that build up, so they are not really clarifying.

[biogirl87]

Siiri, thank you for the information you posted, as some of it I didn't know before.

[Vanilla Mint]

The only thing I can maybe see is that it appears a bit dull, but that could be due to having a naturally coarse-ish texture, or it just going through a dry spell (almost all of us have those here and there!) That doesn't look fried to me at all. In fact, my hair in its virgin state would sometimes look like that when the weather is very humid, when it is normally very fine and slick. I just don't see how it is "fried" at all! I of course don't know this friend of yours, but I certainly hope she wasn't only trying to make you feel bad by saying that.

[ghost]

Your hair is pretty. I don't think it looks fried at all. Dry hair can sometimes be mistaken for "damaged" hair, but honestly it's all about the elasticity -if your hair is still pretty strong and doesn't snap easily, it's probably at least in okay condition. A lot of times people confuse wavy hair for damaged, too, especially if your wave pattern causes your ends to look more straight than curly, or to be a little flyaway. It may just need a serum or something to give it a little bit of weight and shine, but I doubt you need to cut any of it off.

[Firefox7275]

This. ^ This is very important advice. If you do not have splits or white dots, your hair isn't fried or damaged. Should you have splits or the odd white dot, a quick S&D session should solve that problem. No need to hack it all off, because someone said something. She could not have looked at your hair so closely to really notice splits or white dots.

That is not what I said. Hair can be somewhat damaged without splits and white dots or tangly ends, mine is because I use box dye on it and I'm a little slack of some aspects of LHC/ Curly Girl haircare. Even tho my hair looks fine from a quick visual inspection and feels soft I know my hair would come out somewhat damaged in a hair analysis because it is impossible to avoid peroxide damage and because it is porous. I don't think it helps anyone to only categorise hair as in great shape OR severely damaged/ fried, hair health is a continuum. Recognising my damage was the first step to improving it, prior to LCH I mostly just thought I had naturally 'bad hair'.