Going grey!

[cobden 28]

Last weekend it was my 58th birthday and I was delighted at a surprise visit from my student daughter, at Uni in London, and being taken out to lunch :).

What wasn't so good was Emma's comment on how much greyer I'd become since she last saw me in October 2012, so as a result of her comments I'm going to have a semi-permanent colour rinse put onto my hair - at a hairdresser I trust, because I've never coloured my hair like this before and with hair to my waist that's a lot of chemical colourant I'd be using. Just think of the potential to make a mess in our bathroom :eek:!

Whilst a full head of long white hair does look very striking, it's the horrible in-between grey stage I don't like, as it's so aging :( and it's that which I want to hide.

My avatar photo was taken two years ago when the grey was nowhere near as obvious as it is now, and before I had a fringe cut into my hair to hide my forehead. It's in the fringe and at the sides of my face where the grey is most prominent.

[Juanita]

Before you colour visit the Salt and Pepper thread. Some great inspirations there.
Have you tried changing the colours you wear? it can make such a difference to your appearance.
I personally think dyed hair is much more aging and makes your face look hard. But that's just my opinion.
My hair is a similar length to yours and I am a similar age. My friends tell me I look much better with my natural colour than my dyed colour. Plus it took my almost 5 years to grow the dye out. My hair was fragile and breaking off and I was losing length through frequent dying. To hide the grey/ white/ silver I needed to colour every 3 weeks which also becomes very expensive.

[dulce]

I went silver as silver roots show so much and I ended colouring every 2 weeks,then my white temples refused to take the colouring[became colour resistant] and the salon said they would have to pretreat with more chemicals before each colouring just for my hair to accept the colour.My hair became dyed and fried and thin and started breaking off and I reluctantly stopped colouring.I hated my silver root colour so was not happy but there was no longer any choice for me.To my surprise after the silver grew out I loved my colour.my hair became thick and shiny again and I actually prefer my silvery streaked hair over my younger undyed brown colour .Also as you gray more ,the hair lacks pigment ,so the dye looks great for a week ,then fades to this awful orangy brown apricot colour.Young girls can colour as their hair still has natural colour and the dye holds better.Before you colour,walk around a large mall,check out the older ladies dye jobs,they all have this brassy orange,brassy reddish brown colour.My advice is don't colour,let your gray come in,if you want more oomph,add some streaks,no roots and you can do the streaks twice a year or so.My avatar pic is my natural silver streaks with some natural white streaks and my natural undyed brown,I also have not fully gone all silver even though I am 60,but this is me now all natural and so much money saved,time saved,no more questioneable smelly chemicals on my scalp and my hair is so much shinier ,thicker now plus my silvery colour is different from all the other little old apricot coloured ladies.I stopped dyeing in my mid 50's and wish now I'd never started.My hair is close to butt crack now,if I'd kept dyeing I couldn't have kept my hair long anymore as it was getting too damaged due to the dye.I cut bangs,side layers and a v back,and my silver hair does not make me look old. Get a fashioneable long hair cut,check out hair toys,different braids and buns.I promise you ,you will not look old with gray /silvery streaked hair..Oh and my gray/white is in my bangs ,temples and sides too[like you], and my back is my natural light brown with the odd silver streak,so I deliberately cut my white side pieces to my shoulders to make white highlights round my face as well as the white bangs-people think I bleached it deliberately to get this look and I have had several compliments. I wish I was solid silver but am not ,so going to flaunt my natural multicoloured look..If you look for the positive you will find it,best of luck in your decision.

[kitschy]

I wish I were graying faster. I have that washed-out, faded dark blonde color that isn't really considered attractive by anyone, but it does really accentuate my natural skin tone and eye color. I actually like looking at the gray color and love dressing to it. I look lovely in lavender. :wannabe:

[dulce]

Kitschy,I think your hair is lovely!Unique and very feminine!Lavender would look good with you,plus maybe an ice blue and black,I like to wear black as like you,I am a mixed hair colour still and black makes me look more silver.Like you I wish I was more silver..spoken as someone who ironically hated her gray roots!!!

[Othala]

Oh no! Are you sure that you want to go the dyeing route? Please do not let the words of anyone, even your daughter, influence you to do something that you may not be happy with. Please consider that she may look at your hair very conventionally, or she is trying to preserve her image of you were as you were in the past and therefore stopping you experiencing your future self.

You are in a period of transition, like a caterpillar into a butterfly or a cygnet into a swan. Each transition is a process of becoming something else and if it is embraced, becomes a period of renewal and acceptance of the new you that emerges which is the real you. If you cover your authentic self in order to please others there may well come a time (perhaps sooner than you imagine) when you regret it. I know because I have been there as have many other women.

Before you make any decision, I would strongly advise you to visit Cafe Gray and read what the women there have to say and the wisdom they impart:

Here is the link: http://w11.zetaboards.com/Cafe_Gray/index/

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

[Teazel]

Whilst a full head of long white hair does look very striking, it's the horrible in-between grey stage I don't like, as it's so aging :( and it's that which I want to hide.

My hair is at that "horrible in-between grey stage" and I used to feel the way you do, but over the years I've had so many compliments on the colour that I gradually learned to love it. LHC's great like that. It's much healthier and cheaper to change perspective than hair colour. :lol:

I do wonder why you started this thread - you just state your intention to dye; were you wanting to be talked out of it, or supported in your decision?

[dulce]

Teazel,you have such a gorgeous colour!I love your silvery streaks.Several of us who are still in the inbetween gray stage have answered her post so hopefully she will feel better about her partly gray colour now.

[akilina]

Hey I support whatever YOU want to do. I'm not here to talk people out of stuff. I adore grey, silver, and white hair but if you don't want to deal with it right now, then that is just a plain and simple fact.
Using a Demi permanent dye is a great choice for what you are wanting to do. It will still cover it, and it will fade-- but gracefully.

[Zindell]

You are in a period of transition, like a caterpillar into a butterfly or a cygnet into a swan. Each transition is a process of becoming something else and if it is embraced, becomes a period of renewal and acceptance of the new you that emerges which is the real you. If you cover your authentic self in order to please others there may well come a time (perhaps sooner than you imagine) when you regret it. I know because I have been there as have many other women.

Beautifully said. You are truly a mentor. :-)

[Charybdis]

Whilst a full head of long white hair does look very striking, it's the horrible in-between grey stage I don't like, as it's so aging :( and it's that which I want to hide.

My mother struggled with this as well. She had black hair as a young woman, and as she started greying it seemed like her remaining pigmented hairs also became lighter, which didn't suit her pale, non-rosy skin tone particularly. Now that she's in her 70s, her hair is mostly white, and it looks good when she wears enough color. If she wears overly pale pastels (especially anything beige) without a pop of color next to her face, she looks like death. (Unlike my ruddy complexion, she has virtually no pink in her face.) It's astounding how much healthier she looks in the "right" colors, which have shifted some from what looked good on her when she was younger. I think the suggestion upthread to experiment with wearing different colors is a good one.

Anyway, my mother has always had very short hair, so dying was something she could experiment with easily. It's harder when you keep your hair long. Like what you're talking about, my mother used semi-permanent dye, so that it washed out naturally over time. However, the boxed color never really looked "right" on her; it was either too brown or too harsh a black, and she finally gave it up in disgust. Your natural color is probably easier to match.

I have a sprinkling of white hair now, and what I have found is that my silvers are *extremely* resistant to taking dye pigments. I was ready to quit dying anyway due to expense and time-consuming upkeep, and I figure it will be easier to transition to grey if I start now. I think when I have more grey I will be spending more money on lipstick. ;)

[Othala]

Beautifully said. You are truly a mentor. :-)

Thank you Zindell. Just speaking from the heart.