Hair Guilt

[hairconvictions]

I have looked for a thread about this, but alas, could not find one.

I have been transitioning between W/O and going back to using shampoo and conditioner. The weather is changing here and it was getting increasingly difficult to manage. Also, I talked to some of my close friends and asked for their blatant opinion and they said my hair looked greasy for the last 6 months. That's not the image I want to portray but at the same time when I brush my hair and tonnes of hair comes out every time I have this overwhelming feeling that I am purposefully damaging my hair and I feel so guilty. I feel like I'm trashing my hair and that it's going to stop growing (ie lengthening). So my question is to you all: Do you feel "hair guilt". If so, why? Is it validated? Is shampooing really that bad for your hair? :(

[young&reckless]

I am with you. I have been displaced by flooding for a month and prior to that had stayed with family while I waited for my apartment to be ready for two months. I was only in my place for ten days, ugh.:taz: Over washing, using regular shampoo instead of my CV poo bars, and no henna or cassia has left me with lots of tangles and shedding. Poor hair.

I am just trying to dilute any shampoo that I use for the time being. Remember that shampoo is not the only game in town, condish only washing, herbs, and other methods may work better for you and leave you with less guilt. :)

[trolleypup]

I've gone back and forth between WO and dS&Cl (diluted shampoo, and conditioner on the length only)...I'm lucky that my hair doesn't really care, and as long as I rinse the product off my scalp really well and finish with a vinegar rinse, I don't end up with scalpAnger. No guilt...because I simply couldn't maintain the schedule to successfully do WO. Just enough well diluted shampoo to cut the oiliness without doing heavy stripping. But the time I grabbed the shampoo rather than the vinegar and stripped it all out and ended up with a week of fluffy hair...well, I just enjoyed it.

[jacqueline101]

I've never tried water only. I've felt guilty about my hair not looking good or in my minds eye I was neglect. I had to switch my routine. I guess now and then we all have to.

[AngryVikingGirl]

Well, I've tried WO, it wasn't bad and certainly it was fun to try. But I had to realise my hair wasn't perfectly suited for it. It's just naturally too oily. My shedding was little indeed, but I couldn't stretch washes and sometimes washing just didn't make my hair clean. I got tired, one day I washed my hair with a shampoo found in my mother's bathroom. *Accidentally* it was a cheap coney herbal shampoo. I use it ever since. It turned out to be very good, I think the herbs calmed my scalp and improved my oil-balance. My hair loves it. I still wash twice a week but my hair looks clean most of the time, not like with WO. I don't need conditioner, shampoo isn't drying, no velcro ends. AND my shedding is the same as with WO. It sounds unbelievable, but I also used a very good noname herbal shampoo in my teens. Back then I didn't give a damn about my hair, it still grew to hip, as far I can tell from the photos.
WO is not always the mildest way to treat the hair. I think it is for dry haired people.

[Firefox7275]

I have looked for a thread about this, but alas, could not find one.

I have been transitioning between W/O and going back to using shampoo and conditioner. The weather is changing here and it was getting increasingly difficult to manage. Also, I talked to some of my close friends and asked for their blatant opinion and they said my hair looked greasy for the last 6 months. That's not the image I want to portray but at the same time when I brush my hair and tonnes of hair comes out every time I have this overwhelming feeling that I am purposefully damaging my hair and I feel so guilty. I feel like I'm trashing my hair and that it's going to stop growing (ie lengthening). So my question is to you all: Do you feel "hair guilt". If so, why? Is it validated? Is shampooing really that bad for your hair? :(

Some shampoos are damaging for both skin and hair, others are not so much depending on the formulation. You might choose a more product with at least some natural ingredients at pH 4.5 to 5.5 to respect both your skin's protective acid mantle and hair. For some people their own sebum is highly irritating, especially if it contains a lot of oleic acid, this can be manipulated with diet modification.

There are gentle cleansing alternatives to shampoo: conditioner only washing, honey, eggs, herbs ... humans have been washing themselves with things like soapwort for millennia, they certainly didn't have access to boar bristle brushes nor power showers.

[brunette]

In the past I would feel guilty and try all the supposedly healthier options including WO which didn't work for my scalp issues at the time, until I did several years of herb washing and hair and scalp issues were all solved. Nowadays I mostly use Tresemme naturals, and *shock horror* even using a hairdryer on warm/cool when it's cold outside! I know I am treating my hair gently still.
I say always do what you want, what you feel is best and don't be made to feel guilty because other people are following the latest fad - some things work for some people but not others!
Find some SLS free poo if you can, avoid things laden with cones unless your hair loves them, and whatever you find that works well, stay with it a while - and don't feel guilty!

[MaryMarx]

Yes, I do. I like to experiment so I tried WO for a couple of months. My shedding when washing went from ~50 to ~5 strands, I was so happy.
Although I didn't have the patience and went back to shampoo. The shampoo I used gave me a flaky scalp, and the shedding is back, so I feel guilty about not just staying with WO. (The reason I stopped is that I never managed to get it right and my hair always felt greasy.)

[lazuliblue]

Yes I too feel guilty! This past week I've washed/ conditioned and used a hairdryer every day and I'm convinced my hair feels drier...still, it could just be my perception (which more often than not is unreliable!). So today I clarified it and put it up in a bun. I'm getting really annoyed with it at this length anyway so I'm going to try and stretch my washes and keep it up (I also feel guilty that I don't put it up enough!)

I think because we are on this forum and more aware than the general population of the condition of our hair and what we're 'supposed' to be doing, we're more likely to feel guilty when we don't think we're getting it right.

[heidi w.]

I would say, don't condition or oil the scalp related hair. Let sebum do its thing. That's what I've always done and washing the hair went fine for decades.
heidi w.
Let nature do it's thing.
Or just wash more often, maybe an additional day during the week.

[heidi w.]

You've got hair. This is normal. Why feel guilty about having the hair you have. What's with that. I have no guilt whatsoever, and never have.
heidi w.

[patienceneeded]

Nope. No guilt here. I tried WO for 8 weeks and broke out in sores all over my scalp. I tried virtually everything and ended up back to regular ol' shampoo and conditioner. Nothing even remotely "alternative." And you know what? My hair and scalp are perfectly happy. So I feel no guilt whatsoever. I'm not inclined to feel guilty when I've done nothing wrong. Remember - there is no one right or wrong way to care for your hair. Be happy and let go of the guilt.

[Mesmerise]

Shampoo and conditioner, in the whole scheme of things, really aren't THAT bad for your hair! Yes, there are some that are better than others (I tend to avoid SLS or SLES).

At the moment I either use a fairly gentle S&C or I wash my hair with Dr Bronner's and do an ACV rinse. I like the latter approach as it seems more natural and avoids the chemicals of shampoo... but I'm not sure I like the effect on my hair as much. I'm really in two minds! Before I cut my hair I'd gone to the Dr Bronner's and ACV exclusively, but I was wearing my hair up every day, so I didn't notice what my hair looked like down... now my hair's short and bad hair days can NOT be hidden!!

But still, guilt over the way you wash isn't something that you should be feeling!

I have never, ever, ever, ever noticed hair damage from just shampooing and conditioning my hair, no matter what brands I used. Damage came from much harsher treatment only!

[starlamelissa]

When I was new to lhc all the new methods were enticing. I conditioner only washed, water only washed, Whatever. A good shampoo is a beautiful thing! And good doesn't mean expensive, either.

I use a good quality moisturizing shampoo 2 or 3 times a week. I wash my scalp thoroughly, and rinse it out completely with warm water. I use a handful of shampoo On my scalp(I have thick hair) and a teensy pea size amount of shampoo on my length.

I follow up with a large quantity of a matching conditioner that also moisturizes. I know the conditioning process is complete when my hair is completely free of knots and tangles.

I like shampoos with SLES, it's pretty gentle to hair and skin. My favorites are suave professionals sleek, and tresseme luxurious moisture vitamin e shampoo.

Vo5 has a few shampoos with laureleth sulfates and conditioning ingredients. For 1 dollar a bottle it may be a decent place to begin.

The gentlest mildest shampoo I've ever used is baby aquaphor baby wash. It's unscented, and leaves my hair slippery soft, full of body. But at 7 bucks for an eight ounce bottle, I just think its too expensive!

Final note- the longest long haired people I've met in life and online, are all shampoo users. The key to long hair as far as i can tell is in genetics, nutrition, and handling.

[meteor]

Yes, I have this, sadly. Hair guilt helped me make some good choices (ditching hair-fryer, for example), but also made me a bit paranoid about ubiquitous chemicals in hair products and get obsessed with stretching washes. This wasn't good for me, because I think I get significantly more tangles, split ends, etc when I avoid a lot of products and more issues with scalp if I stretch washes. You need to go with what's good for your hair and gives visible results rather than "authoritative recommendations", if they simply don't work for your specific hair type. I think it's quite important to avoid this "hair guilt", because it leads to stress, which - in the long run - can lead to hair problems. :D

[embee]

No guilt, though I *have* been disappointed - some products don't work right for me, some routines are not suited to me, etc. My hair is my hair. Sometimes it is great and other times not so much.

I've got other things I can feel guilty about, I guess! :D