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pele
May 18th, 2013, 01:34 PM
Hi all,

I'm 39 years old and really afraid of my hair thinning as I grow older. I have been highlighting blonde since age 19. I have done an all-over red color twice also. Oh, I also dyed the ends purple last year but that has been all chopped off now.

I am considering stopping the highlights and just going natural, but I absolutely despise my natural color. I mean, despise like it makes me mad to even look at it and depressed to think of the rest of my life with that color. What do I do in this case? Was thinking I could start growing out but maybe henna it instead? I want to stop the peroxide blond highlights that are obviously damaging.

My natural color I would say is very light brown/dirty blonde-gray (I have pictures but just wanted to attach them directly from my desktop, I don't want to have to upload them anywhere first).

EDIT: I managed to just change my avatar to show my natural color roots versus blonde highlights.

jasper
May 18th, 2013, 02:19 PM
I think you can't really tell your natural color from your roots. I think the contrast with your highlighted hair really effects your perception of the root color, but what is more, I bet your hair is likely to lighten naturally as it grows, so you would need several inches of growth to really get an idea of how it would look natural.

But even if you give it time, there's no saying you would like your natural color, so I am not being a help.

juliaxena
May 18th, 2013, 02:25 PM
I think you should read the blonette thread. It is a thread that appreciates color like yours. You have yet to learn its charms I promise :).

panffle
May 18th, 2013, 02:39 PM
I know exactly how you feel, I am trying to grow out my natural color but sometimes it's hard... I don't really have much advice other than try to forget about it. Don't look in the mirror too much... Put your hair up...
I would love to have hair the color of your natural hair, though. You will have to learn to appreciate it the way it is.

ravenreed
May 18th, 2013, 02:48 PM
I have been dyeing my hair since I 16. A few years back, I grew it out completely, and realized that I really, really hate my natural color. It doesn't look anything like how I picture my hair should look. I tried demi-permanents for a while, but I am concerned about PPD. So I switched to Elumen. I have been really happy with it, and my hair is in better condition than ever before. The upside is that I don't have to lift the color to get great results, especially since the color sticks to my grey hairs quite well. The downside is it is expensive and kind of a pain to apply. Anyway, my point is there are other options. I tried henna, btw, but the color doesn't flatter me even a little bit.

pele
May 18th, 2013, 02:57 PM
thank you for your responses! I feel better already :-)

Yes, jasper that is true, never thought of it that way. Maybe it won't be as bad as I think!

And I'm going to check out the Blonette thread right now :-)

pele
May 18th, 2013, 03:00 PM
I have been dyeing my hair since I 16. A few years back, I grew it out completely, and realized that I really, really hate my natural color. It doesn't look anything like how I picture my hair should look. I tried demi-permanents for a while, but I am concerned about PPD. So I switched to Elumen. I have been really happy with it, and my hair is in better condition than ever before. The upside is that I don't have to lift the color to get great results, especially since the color sticks to my grey hairs quite well. The downside is it is expensive and kind of a pain to apply. Anyway, my point is there are other options. I tried henna, btw, but the color doesn't flatter me even a little bit.

I actually used Elumen a few times when I dyed my hair brown/red. It was gorgeous and much healthier.

What color henna did you use? I was thinking of trying to embrace the dark side and henna it brown or something.

I don't know, I'm a blonde at heart, I almost feel like my identity is tied to being blonde (sad, but true). Maybe I just have to stop being so insecure and embrace being authentic. sigh.

faellen
May 18th, 2013, 03:00 PM
I have the same natural colour as you, I call it ash blonette and hate it referred to as dirty or mousey blonde/brown.
When I first started growing it out (for the health of my hair + laziness reasons) I hated it too but as more of it appears I am starting to grow fond of it. Maybe you will too :)

ravenreed
May 18th, 2013, 03:18 PM
Try going natural and see how you like it. You can always change your mind later, right? I only hennaed a couple times and it was just henna color. I want to say I used Yemeni, but I can't remember.


I actually used Elumen a few times when I dyed my hair brown/red. It was gorgeous and much healthier.

What color henna did you use? I was thinking of trying to embrace the dark side and henna it brown or something.

I don't know, I'm a blonde at heart, I almost feel like my identity is tied to being blonde (sad, but true). Maybe I just have to stop being so insecure and embrace being authentic. sigh.

icallitbliss
May 18th, 2013, 04:05 PM
I hate my natural color too! Like...REALLY hate it. It's practically gray, though people call it a light ash brown/blonde. Pretty sure it's the same color you're talking about? I don't know. I'd been dyeing my hair since 2003, and then in Jan 2011 I buzzed my head and decided to go all natural. I had my natural color for about a year and a half. I started to get used to it. And then...one morning I woke up and hated it. And started dyeing and bleaching all over again. (didn't help that my buzz cut turned into a pixie cut and I was in the process of growing THAT out as well!) Now I'm regretting ever touching it. It took so long to grow out my natural hair, and I ruined it. :(

So now I'm back to growing it out again, because my hair is FRIED. I'd rather have dull but healthy hair than bright that looks like straw.

pele
May 18th, 2013, 04:28 PM
Yes, maybe that's what bothers me about my natural color, it just looks absolutely dull. Although I was perusing the blonette thread and looking at "dirty blonde ombre" pictures on google and I like the look of that color on everyone else.

There was one site I looked at where she did a DIY ombre color and it looks amazing (here is a picture http://www.annasaccone.com/2011/05/how-to-ombre-hair-from-blonde.html).

Now that I have decided to grow it out, should I go to my hair dresser so she can blend it all up so it won't look so contrasty while I grow it out?

chen bao jun
May 18th, 2013, 05:29 PM
I love blonette hair. I think of it as subtle. It has many different colors in it and looks so soft. I hope that you get to like your hair once you get used to it and that you see the loveliness in this color.

icallitbliss
May 18th, 2013, 05:49 PM
The hardest part of having our kind of hair is that if we want to dye it back to its natural color, there IS no dye that matches blonette exactly. You can't replicate it. So I keep telling myself I will be super unique if I just grow mine out. You don't see it around too often, cause most girls dye or bleach. I'm hoping once I grow it out again and spend a bit of time in the sun that it will get lighter. Though, this is years down the line. :P

sisi33
May 18th, 2013, 06:06 PM
I think, one of your problems is that you have minimal roots right now. That was the hardest part, for me, of growing out my henna. Those first 2 inches were HORRIBLE! But now that I have over 4 inches, I am really starting to like the color. Also, it looks like your hair will naturally lighten as it gets exposed to the sun. I would say, head over to the growing out the dye/bleach thread, (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=51155) and look around! Good luck!

Syaoransbear
May 18th, 2013, 09:06 PM
I think I have the same hair color as you, and I also hate it. I used to dye it light blonde but now I'm growing it out and I have 5 inches of roots right now. I figure once it bleaches out it looks way better, so I'm giving my natural color a chance. By the time it's at my goal length I'm sure most of it will be more of a lighter and golden color than what it is at the top. If I don't like it, then I'll just go back to dyeing it, but at least I'll be at my goal length and I can just maintain from there. Trying to grow longer while dyeing was impossible for me, even while using LHC methods.

Once I got about two or three inches of hair, I noticed how much softer it was compared to my dyed hair, and that became my motivation for growing it out and it helped me resist the temptation to dye it. I just kept petting my head LOL.

RavennaNight
May 18th, 2013, 09:29 PM
I have that blonette color naturally too. I hennindigo mine black, and really don't like my natural color. Meh. Some say they don't want to dye it for the rest of their lives, others rather not live with that color the rest of their lives. The choice is yours. :flower: I'm sure it will be lovely when it grows out.

juliaxena
May 19th, 2013, 12:02 AM
I love blonette hair. I think of it as subtle. It has many different colors in it and looks so soft. I hope that you get to like your hair once you get used to it and that you see the loveliness in this color.

THIS! Blonettes are absoutely gorgeous. It is my favourite color on others. Mine is light ashy brown, similar, and I like it on me (I do like to play with Elumen though, for a bit of Linda Evangelista feeling).

Ocelan
May 19th, 2013, 03:31 AM
I also used to hate my natural color and dyed my hair dark for years (except for growing out my natural color "by accident" for about 2 years until I cut and dyed it again in 2009). Then I decided to stop the dye nearly a year and a half ago and first the roots were really bad and looked gray, but the more they grew and my dye faded, the more I started liking my color and now I can't wait to get rid of the rest of the dye. I am a blonette aswell and really it is one of those colors you just can't get from a bottle. And the versatility in different kinds of lighting is just amazing. Now my natural hair color compliments my colors much better than the dyed one. I get off with using much less makeup too and can actually be without it most of the time!

If it might help you decide, here's a link (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/album.php?albumid=11042) to my album where I have pictures of my growing out process. You can see my roots looked pretty horrid aswell when there was just a little of them. The clash of the two colors does that. Also be sure to check out the Giving up the dye/bleach and growing natural -thread. There's many other success stories there. :)

juliaxena
May 19th, 2013, 05:54 AM
I also used to hate my natural color and dyed my hair dark for years (except for growing out my natural color "by accident" for about 2 years until I cut and dyed it again in 2009). Then I decided to stop the dye nearly a year and a half ago and first the roots were really bad and looked gray, but the more they grew and my dye faded, the more I started liking my color and now I can't wait to get rid of the rest of the dye. I am a blonette aswell and really it is one of those colors you just can't get from a bottle. And the versatility in different kinds of lighting is just amazing. Now my natural hair color compliments my colors much better than the dyed one. I get off with using much less makeup too and can actually be without it most of the time!

If it might help you decide, here's a link (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/album.php?albumid=11042) to my album where I have pictures of my growing out process. You can see my roots looked pretty horrid aswell when there was just a little of them. The clash of the two colors does that. Also be sure to check out the Giving up the dye/bleach and growing natural -thread. There's many other success stories there. :)


Ocelan is a perfect example of a gorgeous blonette. How could you not want this hair color OP? :)

Also, shiny hair can never look dull. You can achive shine in other ways rather than dye (dye shine goes away anyway).

torrilin
May 19th, 2013, 06:43 AM
Ash blonde or ash brown hair (I *like* that name... we're slowly redoing our floors in ash wood and it's a really gorgeous wood that's very similar to my natural hair color. Very pretty grain pattern, and not really very subtle.) tends to sunbleach really well. It usually only takes the tiniest bit of peroxide to go from looking like a fairly bland medium brown to wildly stripey hair. The color isn't stable, so what you see at the root is not a good representation of your overall color.

I class mine as ash brown because the overall look is light to medium brown. But my hair's color ranges from dark brown all the way to platinum blonde naturally. There's a lot of variation and depth. The fluffy short hairs towards my hairline often tend to be some shade of blonde. There are sections that are more dark brown, sections that are reddish, sections that are all mixed in color... really complex. From what other people say, it also tends to "light up" like a sparkler in full sun, so the way I see it in a mirror is... really not how it usually looks. The overall look winds up looking like a really expensive highlights job, and it makes fancy or intricate braided styles really pop.

My eyebrows and lashes are very uniform dark brown. Most people would say they're black. My skin is silly pale, to the point where I have a pretty tough time buying foundation that is light enough. So while my hair color is fairly light as browns go, the overall effect is very high contrast. This means there aren't a whole lot of makeup looks that are off limits, and I can wear fairly wild colors and still wind up with a fairly natural look.

pele
May 19th, 2013, 02:39 PM
Ocelan is a perfect example of a gorgeous blonette. How could you not want this hair color OP? :)


Well if I looked like Ocelan I would certainly feeling better about having that hair color! LOL.

Honestly, thanks for all of your responses, you truly made me feel better about my decision. I was also reading about how some people get a few face-framing highlights during the ombre growing out process and I would probably do that.

Question though - what about dying the ends of your hair? That can't be as damaging as dying the roots, correct? This seems like a dumb question but if I could do this at least I could still have "light" hair graduated at the ends? Hopefully the ombre trend lasts for a few years! haha.

Emichiee
May 19th, 2013, 05:03 PM
I thought mine was a cool or neutral shade, but since growing out my henna I learned it is a reddish brown...so I grew out Henna just for it to look like different Henna..:lol: you will never know what you get.

Ambystoma
May 19th, 2013, 07:29 PM
Question though - what about dying the ends of your hair? That can't be as damaging as dying the roots, correct? This seems like a dumb question but if I could do this at least I could still have "light" hair graduated at the ends? Hopefully the ombre trend lasts for a few years! haha.

Perhaps a good colourist could give you some lowlights through the bleached hair to help it blend in, rather than doing more highlights through the natural hair?

Emichee, I had a similar experience - I had always dyed mine a very dark brown, almost black and hated my roots since they looked like a really dull "blah" brown colour. After my bleach disaster I decided to grow it out natural and lo and behold, it turns out it's actually a rich dark auburn/chestnut brown colour.

I would definitely urge you pele to give your natural colour a chance, I think roots don't give you a very fair indication of the lovely colour that it will be once it's all long and has gotten natural highlights and ombre from a few summers.

Bagginslover
May 20th, 2013, 02:22 AM
I think my hair might be a very similar shade to your naturally (my avatar is my natural colour). When I gre out my bleach years ago, it looked awful, the roots looked so dark in comparison to the bleach, even though my hair wasn't very dark at all in reality. I went to the hairdressers, and asked them to match my roots and dye the whole lot (this was years pre LHC mind), it came out VERY dark over the bleach, but lightened up after a few weeks to my natural shade. It made the grow out so much more bearable (I don't think I would have stuck with it otherwise).

As you can see from my sig, I now henna, which I LOVE, but I don't dislike my natural colour as much as I did when it was just roots ;)

Firefox7275
May 20th, 2013, 03:10 AM
Well if I looked like Ocelan I would certainly feeling better about having that hair color! LOL.

Honestly, thanks for all of your responses, you truly made me feel better about my decision. I was also reading about how some people get a few face-framing highlights during the ombre growing out process and I would probably do that.

Question though - what about dying the ends of your hair? That can't be as damaging as dying the roots, correct? This seems like a dumb question but if I could do this at least I could still have "light" hair graduated at the ends? Hopefully the ombre trend lasts for a few years! haha.

It's more damaging to dye the ends than the virgin roots since you will be colouring older, weathered hair and probably right over the top of hair that has been previously highlighted. If you want to remain blonde don't go as light as you are at present, lift as few shades as possible and only ever touch the roots never refresh or redye the lengths. Dye over the top of lengthy coconut oil soaks as research suggests this can protect from structural protein loss. If you want to darken the lengths slightly use a colour depositing conditioner in a warm brown shade (ashy can look green over bleach) and obviously do strand tests because the bleached hair is likely to be porous. Lowlighting will use peroxide so again is damaging, ditto UV damage AKA natural highlights.

browneyedsusan
May 20th, 2013, 05:56 AM
*confesses to not reading the whole thread*
I hate my natural color too. It was red when I was a little girl, but the red went away in my 20's. Back then, it was permed, bleached, and I didn't really know what my natural color was, but then I got it pixied, and grew it out natural for 6 or 9 months expecting strawberry blonde, but got flat, ash brown instead. No golden tones, no red tones, only gray/brown. I kept that ugly hair pixied and colored it a variety of colors for years, then discovered henna. One henna on that pixie changed my world. Yeah, henna doesn't give me strawberry blonde, but it's nice, bright red instead! I can live with that. (Henna is not for everyone, though. I knew in my bones that I wanted it red forever. Henna does that--until you grow it out and cut it off.) It doesn't fade, doesn't damage, and sparkles in the sunshine. I feel like myself again. A darker, stronger version of myself. IMHO, haircolor isn't any more evil than makeup or pretty clothes. If you feel better coloring it, then color it! It's your hair, and you should enjoy it. :)

pele
May 20th, 2013, 11:28 AM
Lowlighting will use peroxide so again is damaging, ditto UV damage AKA natural highlights.

I could lowlight with Elumen though, as it contains no peroxide...


IMHO, haircolor isn't any more evil than makeup or pretty clothes. If you feel better coloring it, then color it! It's your hair, and you should enjoy it. :)

Honestly, when I started this thread I felt I would dye my hair blonde for the rest of my life if I wasn't afraid of my hair thinning. It hasn't thinned yet, but my mom's sister and mother's hair started thinning considerably in their early 30s. I am hoping I'm over the age that I would have that genetic thinning, but it got me thinking about it and kind of afraid because now I'm 39 and my boyfriend was telling me that if anything is going to happen, it's going to happen within the next few years. Now I'm scared and I would like to prevent it as much as possible (if it's going to happen)

But after this thread I'm starting to have a different opinion. I'm going to try my natural color and if after a few years I hate it, then I can go from there. Plus, stopping the harsh chemicals on my poor head is going to be healthy for me too.

I'm going to go to my hairdresser and see if she can do a forced ombre with as close as my natural color as she can. If not, I'll get her to do some Elumen lowlights and keep a few face framing highlights. I have to admit I'm kind of excited now to see what it will look like!

Springlets
May 22nd, 2013, 04:38 AM
This (http://i809.photobucket.com/albums/zz17/Blaircorneliabass/user37452_pic106396_1309227773.jpg) is what my hair looked like when I first started growing out.

2 years later this is what it looks like now (http://i809.photobucket.com/albums/zz17/Blaircorneliabass/SANY0405_zps62814f78.jpg). Sometimes it looks lighter, sometimes it looks darker. But it's a lot lighter and blonder than I thought it would be when I first started growing it out! And I admit, the first year was really hard, but I'm so glad I have my natural color now and I can't wait for all of the bleach to finally be out.

I'm sure you, like most other women who had light blonde hair while growing up and then had it darken, want your natural color to be at it's brightest, so here are some tips:
-Vinegar rinses after you shower. This gives you lots of shine, and also can keep your hair safe from unwanted minerals and deposits in your water. You probably want to stick with white vinegar because ACV can leave a reddish tone on lighter hair.
- On a bright sunny day, make sure you get some sun. Not recommending you go lay out all day obviously, but you can take a long walk or do some reading in the sunshine. This should be pretty easy to do in the summer.
- You could try things to enhance your hair color by doing chamomile rinses, cassia treatments, etc. They will be temporary but it can be nice to get a boost.

That's all for now, but I really hope you'll give your natural color a chance. There's a big thread about giving up the dye/bleach with a lot of people in the exact same situation as you. :)

browneyedsusan
May 22nd, 2013, 05:28 AM
It sounds like a good plan, OP. :thumbsup: You've given it a lot of thought and have a bunch of good options. Keep us posted!

Lilli
May 23rd, 2013, 07:07 AM
This (http://i809.photobucket.com/albums/zz17/Blaircorneliabass/user37452_pic106396_1309227773.jpg) is what my hair looked like when I first started growing out.

2 years later this is what it looks like now (http://i809.photobucket.com/albums/zz17/Blaircorneliabass/SANY0405_zps62814f78.jpg). Sometimes it looks lighter, sometimes it looks darker. But it's a lot lighter and blonder than I thought it would be when I first started growing it out! And I admit, the first year was really hard, but I'm so glad I have my natural color now and I can't wait for all of the bleach to finally be out.

I'm sure you, like most other women who had light blonde hair while growing up and then had it darken, want your natural color to be at it's brightest, so here are some tips:
-Vinegar rinses after you shower. This gives you lots of shine, and also can keep your hair safe from unwanted minerals and deposits in your water. You probably want to stick with white vinegar because ACV can leave a reddish tone on lighter hair.
- On a bright sunny day, make sure you get some sun. Not recommending you go lay out all day obviously, but you can take a long walk or do some reading in the sunshine. This should be pretty easy to do in the summer.
- You could try things to enhance your hair color by doing chamomile rinses, cassia treatments, etc. They will be temporary but it can be nice to get a boost.

That's all for now, but I really hope you'll give your natural color a chance. There's a big thread about giving up the dye/bleach with a lot of people in the exact same situation as you. :)

These are good tips. I would add:

1. Get a showerhead filter. Blondette hairs is very sensitive to any minerals in water and will get dull and darker.

2. Rotate your shampoos and conditioners for the same reason.

3. Remember that it always grows in grayish-looking, but by the time it has grown out a few inches, it will show a more interesting color. Mine grows in grayish in the winter but the summer turns it golden.

As for coloring it, I would get a professional to make it a dark blonde, and the color fading should give you a nice ombre look at the bottoms, and match your real color at the top.

Lilli
May 23rd, 2013, 07:08 AM
This (http://i809.photobucket.com/albums/zz17/Blaircorneliabass/user37452_pic106396_1309227773.jpg) is what my hair looked like when I first started growing out.

2 years later this is what it looks like now (http://i809.photobucket.com/albums/zz17/Blaircorneliabass/SANY0405_zps62814f78.jpg). Sometimes it looks lighter, sometimes it looks darker. But it's a lot lighter and blonder than I thought it would be when I first started growing it out! And I admit, the first year was really hard, but I'm so glad I have my natural color now and I can't wait for all of the bleach to finally be out.

I'm sure you, like most other women who had light blonde hair while growing up and then had it darken, want your natural color to be at it's brightest, so here are some tips:
-Vinegar rinses after you shower. This gives you lots of shine, and also can keep your hair safe from unwanted minerals and deposits in your water. You probably want to stick with white vinegar because ACV can leave a reddish tone on lighter hair.
- On a bright sunny day, make sure you get some sun. Not recommending you go lay out all day obviously, but you can take a long walk or do some reading in the sunshine. This should be pretty easy to do in the summer.
- You could try things to enhance your hair color by doing chamomile rinses, cassia treatments, etc. They will be temporary but it can be nice to get a boost.

That's all for now, but I really hope you'll give your natural color a chance. There's a big thread about giving up the dye/bleach with a lot of people in the exact same situation as you. :)

These are good tips. I would add:

1. Get a showerhead filter. Blondette hairs is very sensitive to any minerals in water and will get dull and darker.

2. Rotate your shampoos and conditioners for the same reason.

3. Remember that it always grows in grayish-looking, but by the time it has grown out a few inches, it will show a more interesting color. Mine grows in grayish in the winter but the summer turns it golden.

As for coloring it, I would get a professional to make it a dark blonde, and the color fading should give you a nice ombre look at the bottoms, and match your real color at the top.

MaryO
May 23rd, 2013, 11:56 AM
Wow, I see a lot of people here who don't like their natural hair colour! I always dyed my hair also thinking I didn't like my natural colour but at a point my hair wasn't taking any colour because of damage and I had to cut off a lot of hair because of this. When I started growing it out again I realised it was really not that bad and now I actually quite like it. (So I'm with all of you there! ;-) So pele: give your natural colour a chance- it might just surprise you! :-D

pele
May 24th, 2013, 11:29 PM
I don't know if I've just stop resisting, but I have to say ever since I posted this and did research and read the blonette/going back to natural threads, I've been looking at my roots excitedly wondering what my natural color will REALLY look like. Springlets that's incredible, your roots at the beginning looked completely different from your current hair color - it gives me hope!

Thanks again everyone, I will update with my progress and who knows, maybe I can inspire someone else like you've all inspired me! :-)

Springlets
May 25th, 2013, 12:42 AM
That's great to hear Pele! You can also check out this thread (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=73371) about another poster having grown out dark blonde. At the time it came out, it also helped me because I had just started to grow out my hair. I suppose I should add my new pictures to it now. :D

catamonica
June 3rd, 2013, 10:37 AM
I'm all grey with some white & silver color. I read online that white vinegar lightens hair. And apple cider vinegar makes it red. I tried both. The apple cider vinegar, added red to my hair. The white vinegar made it more silver. Use a small spray bottle filled with half water & half vinegar. Spray on as often as you need to. What's great is it's natural. I use the white vinegar to lighten the grey. Also for thicker hair add two capfuls
of dehydrated chopped or minced onion to your shampoo & conditioner. I read online about it. I tried both. My hair felt thicker. I used an old
perfume bottle. You can get a small one at a beauty supply store. Hope this help's.