Why your own hair never looks long even when others say it is...

[Sarahlabyrinth]

This is my theory anyway. When you are looking at your own hair, from - whatever - angle, you are seeing a foreshortened view so you never see the entire length of it.

As for why it never feels long, well, I can't answer that one. :)

[yoni]

This so much! I have amazingly high standards for length of my own hair, I mean I won't even call it "long" now because I think it's too short, while I would call someone else's hair that's a bit shorter than mine long, crazy :D

[jacqueline101]

Because we've look at our hair so much it's like we dont notice our growth. We get blinded.

[akilina]

I think alot of people discount how nice their hair really is! Weather its the length, thickness, texture, or color and so on.

For myself personally I have a very very high expectation for what is long to me. I haven't reached it yet either...I saw a photo on FB of a girl with hair that looked very pretty and long, and I then realized that my hair is longer than hers was. I still view my hair as ugly and short though.

Its been said that we are our own worst critics.

[Khristopher]

...I saw a photo on FB of a girl with hair that looked very pretty and long, and I then realized that my hair is longer than hers was. I still view my hair as ugly and short though.

This happens to me all the time! In the street I look at some girl's hair and think 'wow look at that length'... let's say waist length hair, and then I realise 'hey wait mine is almost tailbone!'
Crazy.
But yeah I too think its because you get so used to your hair and your point of view. Maybe wearing it up everyday makes it look longer the few times you let it down?

[lapushka]

I can say there's a difference in how I looked at my own hair. When I grew to hip, hip was *long* to me, the length was a bit annoying as well as I hadn't been used to that length for many years. Then I grew towards TBL, and when I had almost reached it (2 cm to 1 inch short but it became annoying), I had it cut back to hip this past Sunday, and boy, does hip now feel short. Short! I guess it's all how you look at it and on how you go through the growth stages yourself - it can make a big difference. I say beware if you cut back an entire milestone instead of having it just trimmed a bit.

[cathair]

Mine goes both ways. Sometimes I spend a day on here and end up thinking my hair is longer than it is! I'll see someone else's hair and think it is similar to mine, when really it is longer, but a similar texture or something. It's very disappointing when I look in the mirror.

Other days I do the same as akilina, I see someone else with hair I think is long, then realise my is longer which is a shock. Photos have been helping my perception of myself a lot, I feel like I can see what I look like better than the mirror because I can get more angles. Also it is the only way I can make a true comparison between myself and other people. I feel like I am supposed to have long hair, or even that I have long hair, but at the same time it is short. It doesn't make sense. My hair never feels long enough, anyway!

I was looking back at photos over the last ten years the other day and I agree with jacqueline101 too, I think we do get blinded to our own growth. My hair is certainly longer now than it ever has been in my adult (although not childhood) life, that was a pleasant surprise :).

Milestones seem to be misleading. For example, my hair stretched will touch hip, but it doesn't look anywhere near hip. When I sit down my hair touches the inside of my elbows, but when I look at it in photos, it doesn't look like the bulk of it is down that far. Those sort of things mislead me into thinking my hair is longer than it is.

[shutterpillar]

I saw a photo on FB of a girl with hair that looked very pretty and long, and I then realized that my hair is longer than hers was.



This happens to me all the time. There are shows I started watching last year when I joined LHC and I remember thinking while watching them "her hair is so beautiful. I cannot wait until mine is that long." Then here I am this year, watching the next season of the show, and my hair is longer than the character's hair I was drooling over last year. Yet still I somehow think theirs looks longer. lol. It's a weird phenomenon, that's for sure. Maybe it's the thickness?

I've changed my goal length twice since I've been a member here because I decided my first two goals weren't long enough. ;) Hopefully when I get to hip it will be enough. lol.

[Fantak]

Hm good theory on the length,, for a totally different eprception my SIL had ankle length hair which she then cut to classic, then to TB and she kept complaining it was still too long. When I told her it was the same length as mine if not slightly shorter she balked. She didn't realise it was so 'short'.. she started to grow it back after that ;p

So yeah no idea what to make of it.. the mind works in mysterious ways

[Long_hair_bear]

Also, I've been told, and believe, that a person is their own worst critic. :)

[Sylvestrix]

Interesting thread! I find that lamentably because of my height, though my hair may be at waist on my teeny tiny body, BSL on another lass actually can be longer in inches, which sort of gets to me. Yes, it means I reach markers faster than someone taller, but to be honest, I'd rather have the ability to fit those extra inches in. And to once in a while buy clothes without having to get them taken up by abut a foot xD Ah, the grass is always greener!

[spidermom]

I don't know about all that. I declared myself to have long hair at APL.

I think that some of us have goals in mind, and since we aren't there yet, what we see is "not long enough".

[Shield31]

Many of us start from very short hair and consider the journey to long, or longer hair to be never ending. For me, the goals I set are constantly being renewed as simply that: New goals. Length is one. Fullness, thickness, color, condition and acceptance are some of my others. But for length? I agree that my hair, even at the longest it has ever been, isn't long enough. It is the start of tomorrow's new goal.

[akilina]

This happens to me all the time! In the street I look at some girl's hair and think 'wow look at that length'... let's say waist length hair, and then I realise 'hey wait mine is almost tailbone!'
Crazy.
But yeah I too think its because you get so used to your hair and your point of view. Maybe wearing it up everyday makes it look longer the few times you let it down?
I should start wearing my hair up more..I have never been big on wearing my hair up in all 4 years of being here. Its very true though. Some weeks when I have no time and just have it up I see it after that week and its like *wow!*
I am learning my biggest issue is that its not always the length but I see thick smooth pretty hair and start comparing.



Other days I do the same as akilina, I see someone else with hair I think is long, then realise my is longer which is a shock. Photos have been helping my perception of myself a lot, I feel like I can see what I look like better than the mirror because I can get more angles. Also it is the only way I can make a true comparison between myself and other people. I feel like I am supposed to have long hair, or even that I have long hair, but at the same time it is short. It doesn't make sense. My hair never feels long enough, anyway!

What I think is best is when someone takes a totally candid photo of you, where you are in a group in the background, or just not the direct subject of the photo..I usually use it to help me see what my body looks like but in the past there has been some hair involved and I was happily surprised to see what it looks like from an outside point of view. Theres a website called 'my body gallery' and its basically created so people can see how diverse bodies are. I personally use it and type in people my height and weight and see that it doesn't look as bad as I think. I know that's not about hair, however it is about how we are self critical and don't always see us how others see us. Its helped put in to perspective that i don't look as terrible as I think.

It kind of reminds me of that dove video about the women describing themselves and then someone else describes them..All the while, the professional forensic dude is drawing them exactly how they describe and the outer point of view is usually very spot on for what they really look like...while the self point of view is very critical and doesn't even look like them in the drawing.

[ravenreed]

I know my hair is long, but I forget how long until I see someone else at hip or TB and then think, "Look how long her hair is! Oh wait, I passed that a while ago. Mine must be longer!" That makes me a little happy, I must admit.

[sparrowswing]

For me it's primarily a matter of comparison groups. In the wild where I live, most hair is APL or shorter, so I take notice of anything BSL or longer. That's what I consider long when seeing hair at the grocery store or other everyday places. If it's hip or longer (extremely rare here), then I consider it super long.

If I'm at an anime convention or ren faire or my friend's pagan/druid circle, my standards change and suddenly hair has to be waist length before I consider it long, and classic is super long.

But I don't compare myself to local people. I compare myself to LHC-ers. And here, the average is longer than what I generally see in the wild. So I didn't feel like I had long hair until I hit classic, and I don't know if I'll ever feel like my hair is super long. Maybe if I make it to knee length.

[MonaMayfair]

I don't understand this, because my hair looks long to me! It won't after next week though, as I'm having it chopped, lol!

[faellen]

I always look at my hair and think how short it is. But last year I considered WL really long and it was my original goal length. Now I'm growing to tailbone.

[lunalocks]

I will see someone with WL or shorter hair and think "that's pretty long" and then imagine it down to hip, where I am, then remind myself that I am 5 to 7 inches taller than that person, a do a double take. My hair doesn't FEEL that long. DH and DD keep telling me it is, whenever I forget.

[Quahatundightu]

It does surprise me when people I think of as having long hair point out that my hair is longer than theirs! For me it's because I feel like I'm trying to hit a moving target. Yes my hair feels long-ish, but I also keep getting new goals and deciding to keep growing so my hair is permanently in the category of "not long enough yet" in my mind. I am somewhat more satisfied now I made it to TB but I keep dreaming about having classic length hair instead ;) It's never ending!

[PetuniaBlossom]

Interesting thread! I find that lamentably because of my height, though my hair may be at waist on my teeny tiny body, BSL on another lass actually can be longer in inches, which sort of gets to me. Yes, it means I reach markers faster than someone taller, but to be honest, I'd rather have the ability to fit those extra inches in. And to once in a while buy clothes without having to get them taken up by abut a foot xD Ah, the grass is always greener!

So interesting, because my perception is just the opposite. I'm very tall (5'10") and so it's taking a long, long time to reach milestones. On a petite person, my length would probably be approaching classic. But on my lanky frame, I'm not quite at hip! Kind of frustrating, everything takes longer and it's easy to become impatient. And how nice it would be to buy slacks that actually come all the way to my ankles! ah well.

[xoxophelia]

So interesting, because my perception is just the opposite. I'm very tall (5'10") and so it's taking a long, long time to reach milestones. On a petite person, my length would probably be approaching classic. But on my lanky frame, I'm not quite at hip! Kind of frustrating, everything takes longer and it's easy to become impatient. And how nice it would be to buy slacks that actually come all the way to my ankles! ah well.

Cracking up over the slacks comment. This is an ongoing battle for me... and some stores do not preshrink their clothes and so one wash and they go from too long to too short (seriously... -_-')

We are the same height so I know how you feel about length goals. It doesn't help that my hair grows at your average .5" per month. For me, TBL is 40" measuring from my hair line.

I do generally view my hair as short.. like around waist length but it is actually a bit past hip.

[Seeshami]

maybe it's because I use my works security camera and video feeds to watch me brush and braid my hair every now and then that I am less surprised by how long it is when people remind me.

[WaitingSoLong]

I think that, in general, our perceptions of ourselves are very distorted or at least drastically different from what others view. I don't think there is a remedy for this but occasionally the situation will happen where you either see yourself unexpectedly in a mirror and for a brief moment glance at yourself as though you are someone else, or see a candid pic someone took of you unawares and get the same fleeting opportunity. So short lived.

Similarly, I hate my voice and hearing it on my voice mail recording sounds... :shudders:

As for hair perception, well, cutting my hair completely changed mine of course. I was one of those whose hair felt too long before I cut it. Yes it feels really short now but the scissors not only trimmed away a lot of my length but my addiction to gaining length as well.

la la la. freedom. lol

[EdG]

This is my theory anyway. When you are looking at your own hair, from - whatever - angle, you are seeing a foreshortened view so you never see the entire length of it.I noticed that too. The angle at which one looks at one's hair de-emphasizes its length.
Ed

[chen bao jun]

I think being on LHC also distorts the perceptions. We see so much extremely long beautiful hair here that we don't feel we measure up.

[Sylvestrix]

So interesting, because my perception is just the opposite. I'm very tall (5'10") and so it's taking a long, long time to reach milestones. On a petite person, my length would probably be approaching classic. But on my lanky frame, I'm not quite at hip! Kind of frustrating, everything takes longer and it's easy to become impatient. And how nice it would be to buy slacks that actually come all the way to my ankles! ah well.

It's so funny how we usually want the opposite of what we have! How handy it would be if you could just give me five of your inches, then we could both be satiated! =D