View Full Version : Short(straight)-hairs just don't understand; a minor rant

April 21st, 2013, 11:23 AM
I was with a couple of friends this morning and I was talking to B about hair because I'd given her some of my rinse and was asking how she liked it. I mentioned I only leave it in because my hair's so tangly, and related to the group how I'd slept with it down recently and the next day had to spend 20 minutes detangling. B asked if I'd ever think of cutting it, which was a fair question and didn't annoy me. What annoyed me was that M asked a question and I answered, and she kept going on with her advice anyway.

Me: *telling the detangling story*
M: Have you tried trimming?
Me: I just did. I took off 1/4 inch.
M: I know when my kids's hair tangles it's because the ends need a trim....
Me: I do. I trim off my splits every other week and do small trims.
It ended there because someone asked her something. Urgh. I love my friends, but this one doesn't get it. She and her daughters all have 1a/b shoulder-length or shorter. I have waist curly. It's going to tangle, especially if I sleep with it loose. Trimming is not bad, but the culprit was my tossing and turning in my sleep. I should just shut up about my hair. No one, apparently, wants to hear it.

April 21st, 2013, 08:51 PM
It can be very frustrating trying to get people to understand when they don't have anything to relate to. Don't get down about it. They won't understand if they don't have a point of reference. If it ever comes up again, maybe try gently explaining that different hair types need to be treated differently, and that M and her kids have a much different type than you do. So, while you appreciate her advice, it doesn't really help your hair any. If she can't understand your hair type, she should at least be able to understand that.
Hope this helps! Try not to get frustrated. :)

April 21st, 2013, 09:55 PM
I probably should've just said "I can try that"--even though I had--and left it at that.

April 22nd, 2013, 04:22 AM
I can't relate but I do try to sympathize. I think she was trying to be helpful in her own way. I think we take some of this too seriously at times. The other day, my friend said something about my hair being thin. I instantly was hurt but then I took a step back. She wasn't trying to be mean. Her hair is like iiiiiiiiiiii to the billionth. Of course my hair is thin compared to hers. It wasn't an attack just an observation based on her own personal experience. (your friend and mine.)

chen bao jun
April 22nd, 2013, 06:35 AM
I'm always getting this. It's not necessarily different hair types who don't understand,though. some of my straight haired friends are more open to believing that I have to treat my hair differently than theirs than some of my curly friends who are used to treating their hair in certain ways (even though they don't work) and feel threatened by the idea that you can do anything differently.
I have decided that no one else needs to 'get' my hair. Since I found the LHC methods everyone says it looks so much better and I know it feels better. I tend to keep details (that I don't comb anymore, that I leave conditioner in, that I wash with conditioner only) to myself, unless someone honestly might be benefited by them and seems 'open'.