HIDING my long hair, please urgent!

[daredevil14]

After 2 months of successful work and after I am finally happy and starting to like my work, some ****** guy spoke in the presence of the CEO or a partial owner (not sure) (just for fun, dont know why!) about me in a company that has +30000 employees!

I am a guy with shoulder-length wavy/curly hair, I wear my hair in a pony tail at work. I would NEVER cut my hair, however I have some worries regarding contract termination if this guy keeps talking and talking or someone high speaks to me, please I need your help!

How can I effectively hide my hair so that:

*It easily looks short.
*It doesn't look weird.

With the lowest resources and easiest methods I have and I can do!

Thank you,
Really appreciated.

[sisi33]

French braid it while it's wet, so that it gives the appearance of being short- that would be the first thing I would try out, if it's long enough to not fall out of the braid.

[Naiadryade]

I can't imagine why they would terminate you just for being a guy with shoulder-length hair. Surely your ponytail is good enough to keep your hair from interfering with your work? Did this guy say something about your hair... getting in the way of his work? Or something? Does the hair hurt your ability to effectively do the work somehow?

Sorry if I'm being naive, I just don't understand why long hair would be a cause for termination in a company with thousands of employees. I think if you're worried about getting fired you should focus on doing the best job you can, rather than worrying about fitting a stereotype of men never having hair longer than a couple of inches.

[Vanille_]

I'd recommend a bun. I think they can look very nice on men, especially if they are just a tad messy.

[Dorothy]

How about a tucked french braid? Once you learn it, it will be easy. It's a regular french braid, with the tail tucked into the cavity directly under the braid. It makes your length disappear, and it's a very protective style. You will look braided on the back. I say everyone is just going to have to deal with that. It's a very professional look. It will get a lot harder to tuck at waist, so by then you should probably move on.

[Nightshade]

I was going to suggest a tucked french braid too :)

ETA: Here's a tutorial for it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSBAqxQCNKk

[Seeshami]

What does your employment contract say about your religious beliefs? Tell them your hair is long for religious reasons and then they can't do anything about it. It doesn't even mater what religion you are because the majority of them tell you to be true to yourself, to honor yourself and what you believe in, etc.

I would also talk to the guy or your boss and ask them if the pony tail isn't appropriate, tell them you'll braid it for a more polished look but that you cannot cut it because it is against something you believe. And it isn't lying, you are against cutting your hair because of some reason you believe in.
For example:
Spoken in the box- I personally will not cut my hair because I want to sit on it. (LHC understands)
Spoken out of the box- I cannot cut my hair because I believe it needs to be long. (General public understands)

[goldloli]

I say get it styled, as in cut and shaped. Long hair and suits is plenty fine if it looks good. Whether male or female long scruffy curly hair and suits is not appropriate. You can get away with wearing it down if you sport a fashionable cut. Depending on your length you could get a sideswept bit or a slicked back at the top bit... Idk since I don't know what your hair is like.

Yeah also totes agree with the religious thing, say you believe the strength of a man is in his hair, like Samson!

[Evie]

Another vote for a tucked french braid here

[FireFromWithin]

I would suggest that it would be illegal to fire you on the basis of your hair. Imagine if it were a woman who had long hair, the fall out would be horrific. Perhaps it is just one person who feels threatened by your long hair.

I would suggest that if nobody has spoken to you about it then they realise that it's completely ridiculous. If someone does speak to you about it you can ask why you need to have short hair. I imagine that they won't have a very good reason and may back off when they realise they are being sexist.

Buns and plaits are good too. I don't wear a ponytail because it doesn't keep my hair completely off my face and I like to have it fully up for a professional setting. Whatever you do make sure it's comfy as you'll be wearing it like that all day, and playing with or changing your hair at your desk isn't professional.

[long.again]

Isn't there some sort of folded samurai bun? I can picture it in my head but can't remember the name. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

But I agree with the religious objection. Claim your hair as a religious right and it would be considered prejudice to fire you for it.

[Panth]

I say get it styled, as in cut and shaped. Long hair and suits is plenty fine if it looks good. Whether male or female long scruffy curly hair and suits is not appropriate. You can get away with wearing it down if you sport a fashionable cut. Depending on your length you could get a sideswept bit or a slicked back at the top bit... Idk since I don't know what your hair is like.

I vote against this. The more "styling" you have put in, the less ability you will have to keep it neatly out of the way. With nearly all lengths, thicknesses and textures a one-length cut (ideally with fairytale ends) is easiest to contain. Layers or shaping will make plaits (especially french/dutch plaits) messy and depending on length will make any sort of tied back / updo style messy or impossible.

The vibe I'm getting is that it doesn't matter if you hair looks good (i.e. attractive), the critical part is if it looks professional, presentable and, above all, unobtrusive.

'Styling' is a bad, bad idea if you want to hide your hair.

[Vrindi]

Did they say anything about your hairstyle or what was considered appropriate when they hired you? Did they have any objections at all before you signed a contract, or suggest a different style at all? If not, then I think the company has already decided you look professional and appropriate, and it seems like this guy is singling you out. Especially if it's just one person, then it isn't a company problem, it's one guy. I'm not sure the most diplomatic way to bring this up, I think it depends on your office.

[jacqueline101]

Id leave your hair alone and use the religious answer.

[Phalaenopsis]

To be honest I would keep it low key. In a low ponytail. Buns and braids on a guy are bound to draw more attention.
Just make sure is always very clean and put it in a low ponytail.

Make sure you look extra sharp in other ways, a nice shirt, clean short nails, freshly shaven or a neatly trimmed beard...

[daredevil14]

Thank you all for the replies, really really appreciated! I'll answer your questions in points:

1) I take a very good care of my hair, it is pretty neat! my ponytail is fairly tight, nothing is unusual from the front view. It is an office work, formality is not an issue, you can grow beards, wear jeans, etc... I even wore a metal band T-shirt! This guy has NOTHING to do with my department/business unit, he's just a friend of my brother and always tease me to cut it whenever he sees me, of course I don't give him any attention! The thing is, he is the driver of the chairman! (His word is well listened to!). I am pretty productive in my post as well! And again, it is not a formal environment, one more point to add to this: I work in a country full of cultures and nationalities, my colleagues at work are Indians, Pakistanis, Filipinos, Arabs, Europeans, Americans... I am Lebanese.

2) Regarding how I am gonna wear it next time: a pony tail. (As usual, 'll explain below as I decided not to hide it! Why hiding it anyway?)

3) Before hiring me? I met with the recruitment manager, with my division manager, etc... NO ONE has mentioned anything about my hair! I returned back to my country and awaited the contract, signed it and then came here... and no one spoke anything about it! It is just this guy!

The thing is: nothing is serious/official, it's just that I am really worried this guy would continue to annoy me and eventually speak it directly to the chairman... no right to fire me? Everything is possible in this company. So why hide from myself? I am who I am at work with the ponytail whether they like it or not, because people who hired me and my managers haven't said even a word about it!

Oh and did I mention that there's another guy with waist length hair at work (another department) and he wears it down sometimes!!

Thank you all again. I'd never cut my hair, that's for sure.

[lapushka]

To be honest I would keep it low key. In a low ponytail. Buns and braids on a guy are bound to draw more attention.

I agree with that. I think a low ponytail is the least to stand out. Braids and buns? No way!

[Anje]

If you're not in violation of company policy, I don't see why there should be any problem at all. Wear your hair as you like it.

[faellen]

To be honest I would keep it low key. In a low ponytail. Buns and braids on a guy are bound to draw more attention.

I agree with this too, it is unusual to see guys with buns and braids as opposed to ponytails, I say stick to the low ponytail if you want to stay inconspicuous.

[ghost]

From your description, your company seems like a pretty chill place to work as far as appearances are concerned. If you went through the interview process, got hired, and have worked there for a couple months with no one saying anything about your hair (except for this one guy giving you sh*t), especially none of the higher ups...you're probably fine. You might want to have a conversation with this dude, though, and let him know that it's not cool to say stuff like that...ever, really, but especially in a company meeting/in front of bigshots, and that it actually gave you cause to worry about your job. Then gleefully watch him backpedal and make an @$$ of himself.

[goldloli]

I vote against this. The more "styling" you have put in, the less ability you will have to keep it neatly out of the way. With nearly all lengths, thicknesses and textures a one-length cut (ideally with fairytale ends) is easiest to contain. Layers or shaping will make plaits (especially french/dutch plaits) messy and depending on length will make any sort of tied back / updo style messy or impossible.

The vibe I'm getting is that it doesn't matter if you hair looks good (i.e. attractive), the critical part is if it looks professional, presentable and, above all, unobtrusive.

'Styling' is a bad, bad idea if you want to hide your hair.
Ahh well you see, the reason I said style it into something fashionable and commonly acceptable is because of this:


To be honest I would keep it low key. In a low ponytail. Buns and braids on a guy are bound to draw more attention.
Just make sure is always very clean and put it in a low ponytail.

Make sure you look extra sharp in other ways, a nice shirt, clean short nails, freshly shaven or a neatly trimmed beard...
If he's getting hassle just for having long hair by this guy, then no doubt showing up rocking buns and french braids will cause more of a stir. It's all very well and good to suggest updos but in the real world, where men mock eachother for such things, braids don't fly... Although chunky cornrows could work.

Since you just said your workplace is casual, then don't change a thing.

[Quixii]

Whether male or female long scruffy curly hair and suits is not appropriate.
That's not very nice. What's wrong with curly hair? It being curly doesn't instantly make it "scruffy" or inappropriate. :(

[Mesmerise]

Hmm well you're already working in the company, yes? And to date no one has cared about your hair??

I'm just wondering why you're worried they're suddenly going to notice!

Maybe I missed it... but did the guy who mention you say something about your hair, or something else?

Honestly, I think the best way for a guy to wear his hair is a low, neat ponytail. Not sure about buns. I think some guys can pull it off, but I actually think it stands out more because you don't see it often?! Same with a French braid... Bear in mind, I just don't SEE those styles on guys often, so if I do I'd notice it and it would draw my attention to the hair and the length of it. A ponytail on a guy is pretty ordinary, so it'd skip my notice more.

[Naiadryade]

Ah, I understand now. I'm glad you've decided to leave your hair as it is. It's clear to me based on your second post that this isn't really a problem with your workplace or a danger of being fired... It's an interpersonal problem with this guy.

I totally agree with this:

From your description, your company seems like a pretty chill place to work as far as appearances are concerned. If you went through the interview process, got hired, and have worked there for a couple months with no one saying anything about your hair (except for this one guy giving you sh*t), especially none of the higher ups...you're probably fine. You might want to have a conversation with this dude, though, and let him know that it's not cool to say stuff like that...ever, really, but especially in a company meeting/in front of bigshots, and that it actually gave you cause to worry about your job. Then gleefully watch him backpedal and make an @$$ of himself.

It's not worth worrying about because one guy wants to tease you. You don't have to put up with bullying! Tell him to stop, in a gentle but firm way that he will hear and understand, such as the way ghost suggested. Hopefully he will be mature and respect your wishes.

[Celtic Morla]

My son is growing his hair out and it is just touching his shoulders. He keeps it pulled back now in a low pony and as it grows plans to wear it in a queue. It's a nice way to wear it( a low English braid) wrapped with leather.

[socks]

I think that as long as you keep it tidy, it shouldn't be an issue. If it doesn't state in your contract that you are required to have short hair, then they probably can't fire you over it or demand that you cut it. If your contract states that men have to maintain a professional appearance or something along those lines, then you'll probably have to demonstrate that long hair can appear professional on men, and then that will be the end of it. As others have stated, pulling out the personal beliefs card should work as well. Do you have a worker's union? If you get into a tough spot on the hair issue, they should be able to help.

Make sure that you look into the wording on your contract, though. My fiance had to cut his beautiful long hair for his job because his contract stated that men's hair could be no longer than a certain length.

[heidi w.]

There are ways to wear long hair short without cutting. I just don't know how it's done. I've never tried it at all, so no help here. Hope you keep your hair. A tucked french braid will work for a neckline length, and there's a way to kind of curl hair so it's shorter. But I don't imagine you want to sleep in curlers, really. LOL. But the short hair look is done often as a joke on LHC.
heidi w.

[shirohane]

As others have said previously, a clean low ponytail is a very professional look.

That's basically how my BF wore his when he had hair slightly past shoulder. That length didn't last long but he told me that many of his male co-workers were surprised that he cut it and they actually liked his long hair.

(He cut it because it made his scalp too warm and he kept soaking through the pillowcase during the summer, it wasn't because of social pressure or anything.)

[goldloli]

That's not very nice. What's wrong with curly hair? It being curly doesn't instantly make it "scruffy" or inappropriate. :(
umm I didn't say anything about curly hair being bad. I have curly hair, actually it's wurly, slightly looser than yours and probably scruffy looking to boot. I wasn't implying his hair is scruffy since I've never seen his hair. I was saying that unstyled hair and suits/corporate/office type jobs don't go imo, like say if a lady came to a board meeting with unstyled loose hair. He mentioned CEO and having his hair mocked so I presumed it was a professional wear type deal, later he clarified it's casual so I retracted my initial comment and said to leave hair as is.

[Angel Barchild]

Thank you all for the replies, really really appreciated! I'll answer your questions in points:

1) I take a very good care of my hair, it is pretty neat! my ponytail is fairly tight, nothing is unusual from the front view. It is an office work, formality is not an issue, you can grow beards, wear jeans, etc... I even wore a metal band T-shirt! This guy has NOTHING to do with my department/business unit, he's just a friend of my brother and always tease me to cut it whenever he sees me, of course I don't give him any attention! The thing is, he is the driver of the chairman! (His word is well listened to!). I am pretty productive in my post as well! And again, it is not a formal environment, one more point to add to this: I work in a country full of cultures and nationalities, my colleagues at work are Indians, Pakistanis, Filipinos, Arabs, Europeans, Americans... I am Lebanese.

2) Regarding how I am gonna wear it next time: a pony tail. (As usual, 'll explain below as I decided not to hide it! Why hiding it anyway?)

3) Before hiring me? I met with the recruitment manager, with my division manager, etc... NO ONE has mentioned anything about my hair! I returned back to my country and awaited the contract, signed it and then came here... and no one spoke anything about it! It is just this guy!

The thing is: nothing is serious/official, it's just that I am really worried this guy would continue to annoy me and eventually speak it directly to the chairman... no right to fire me? Everything is possible in this company. So why hide from myself? I am who I am at work with the ponytail whether they like it or not, because people who hired me and my managers haven't said even a word about it!

Oh and did I mention that there's another guy with waist length hair at work (another department) and he wears it down sometimes!!

Thank you all again. I'd never cut my hair, that's for sure.

With everything you've said I think you're over reacting. Someone who in your words "has NOTHING to do with my department/business unit," teased you about your long hair, and because he is the driver for the chairman you thing you may be fired? That's a huge leap. Take a deep breath, even if this guy did for some really weird reason say something to the chairman about your hair, why would the chairman care? He is the boss of over 3000 people he doesn't know you from Adam, and is not going to decide to fire you because you have long hair in an office where it fits into the standard dress code of that office.

Anxiety makes us all irrational. I know both me and my husband have suffered from it. From a neutral third party I think you have nothing to worry about. The only fact you have is that the person who drives the chairman of the vary large company you work for teased you about your hair. That's just not going to get you fired with all the other facts in evidence ( they hired you with this hair, you office is very casual, you are a hard worker with a good record, the company is huge and the boss wouldn't even know who you are). Take a deep breath, have a cup of tea, and relax. You're going to be fine. :)

[SerinaDaith]

Low pony tails and simple low english braids are very common on men where I live, buns are not and french braids would probably attract more attention. You stated that this guy is a friend of your brother. Perhaps if you talk to him and it does not work you could talk to your brother? Maybe he could talk to this person for you? I wish you luck!

[teal]

If some girl was repeatedly bothering some other girl to cut her hair, it would be considered harassment. I don't see why it should be any different between men.

[woolyleprechaun]

Tucked french braid from me, too. I recently started a similar thread asking for advice about my husband. He has a beard and is getting harrassed about it at work (hes a chef).
Unfortunately, if they have something about hair on their dress code, they can be as mean as they like about it. Its not fair in any way, but many employers have a 'neat and respectable appearance' policy, and if they feel that long hair on men doesn't fit the bill, you have a fight on your hands.
Personally I would wear a tucked french braid so they cannot claim health and safety or 'scruffy' reasons. It would certainly make persecution harder for them :)

[daredevil14]

Hello all,

Just wanted to inform you that I surely overreacted and took this seriously as it doesn't seem to be such a "crisis" the way I showed it.

But you know, when it comes to long hair, anxiousness is surely legit! Especially for a guy who is trying to maintain a "different" personality, thoughts and lifestyle.

Thanks again for all the tips and support! :)

[Debra83]

Hello all,

Just wanted to inform you that I surely overreacted and took this seriously as it doesn't seem to be such a "crisis" the way I showed it.

But you know, when it comes to long hair, anxiousness is surely legit! Especially for a guy who is trying to maintain a "different" personality, thoughts and lifestyle.

Thanks again for all the tips and support! :)

No worries, we all do that at one time or another, especially when it is a "sore" spot to begin with.

[long&blonde]

A vote for french braid tuck here.
Glad to hear your initial panic does not seem justified.
I am a recent retiree from 35 years as a government, welfare caseworker. During my career, I had quite a few moments of panic due to feeling in my huge office, I was being noticed and commented on, for some way I was not blending in.
Looking back, on each occasion, it all ended up unbelievably positive, the folks noticing and questioning just liked and were trying to get to know me better. This included an unbelievably tacky episode of a manager calling me in, then asking me if I was a witch! I took off each seasonal equinox/solstice. Yes,I am a believer in Wicca, along with Christian. I panicked. It turned out she was just being friendly with me, and had kin interested in paranormal type stuff. When it comes to work, looking back I think the best advice is "keep calm and carry on." Keep showing up, do your best.