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View Full Version : to cut or not to cut; that is the question



spidermom
March 23rd, 2013, 02:02 PM
I'm not looking for advice, although I will gladly accept it. I'm posting because I need to think this over "out loud" with people who understand.

This is what I have (air dried):
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/spidermom/2013-2-19003_zps8a989b10.jpg

Thick, bushy, frizzy, heavy, hangs like a cape. Honestly, the only thing I like about it these days is 1) it's unusually long, and I like the unusual (which people rarely see because it's all over the place and in my way when I wear it down, plus it tangles), and 2) the braided styles I can do. However, I usually don't have the time to do a braided style, so I opt for a quick bun or two, and I hate buns. They're convenient, and I've learned several, so I use them, but I really and truly hate them. To me, a bun is a bun is a bun; they're all the same, pretty much (because I'm seeing my face, not my hair).

I've been growing out/trimming my hair for 14 years now (mostly 1/2 to 1-inch trims, occasionally as much as 7 inches), and I feel that I really truly need a change to something that isn't so heavy and all over the place, something that dries more quickly, maybe something layered that keeps the overall length but doesn't weigh down the texture so much but allows waves and curls. I'm 95% ready to take the plunge, but the other 5% is so loud. It tells me that I'll be sorry if I cut it, that the change I need is not my hair, that what I really want is to be younger, and a haircut won't do that for me, etc, etc. This is definitely a first-world problem, I mean - come on, who cares? It's only hair.

Yet it's not only hair; know what I mean?

KittyBird
March 23rd, 2013, 02:35 PM
I think your hair is very beautiful, but it's not my opinion that matters, it's yours. I can relate to how you feel though, as your hair appears to be pretty much identical to mine when I was 15. Insanely thick, heavy and just flat out annoying. I absolutely hated it and ended up getting it chopped into a horrifying pixie. As ugly as it was, the change still felt good and my hair grew back a lot nicer.
A very short 'do may be a bit extreme, but getting thinned or layered wouldn't hurt. If you end up hating it, then it'll suck but at least you'll know. I think that's better than sitting around feeling unhappy about your hair. :)

share801
March 23rd, 2013, 02:35 PM
I don't have any advice but I thought Kherome had a good statement to another poster today:
"Hair is just hair and it does not define whether or not you are pretty.".

I think there are a lot of looks you could pull off, perhaps something like Ultrabella. . . ;)

Good luck with your decision. I will be eager to see what you do.

FireFromWithin
March 23rd, 2013, 02:58 PM
I think it will look great whether you cut it or not. If its annoying you as much at it seems for your post it sound like you need to do something. Perhaps start with layers to reduce the weight and go from there. I wouldn't cut it all in one go, that might help the 5%, if you do everything gradually you'll have time to see if you like it or if you want a bigger change.

I can share something that was said to me: a bad decision is better than no decision. You'll feel much better when you can get 100% on one side. If you manage to do that, maybe you could tell me how, I seem to be incredibly indecisive these days. Good luck.

Bagginslover
March 23rd, 2013, 03:33 PM
Maybe you need to remind yourself why you grew it in the first place, then you'll know better if you can part with it? Get up a little earlier a few days a week to do those braided styles you love, remembering that they won't work as well in shorter or layered hair. If doing your hair the way you live to do it still doesn't make you want to keep it as it is, then maybe a cut is the right thing for you. If you hate it when you do cut, it'll always grow back :)

Kyaatje
March 23rd, 2013, 03:46 PM
A couple of years back I cut my hair from almost waist to pixie for the same reason.
I loved the pixie but decided to grow back out after 6 years of short hair. This time I was more open and ready to try more unconventional methods. I still struggle sometimes and I go back and forth between traditional shampoo and conditioner and herbal treatments.
For the moment my hair isn't perfect, but I love it again. It might change off course.
I can't say what would be good for you, that is something you have to decide yourself. But cutting isn't the end of the world, hair grows.
Eventually it isn't the length or even the health that is most important, but how you feel about it.

patienceneeded
March 23rd, 2013, 03:54 PM
Your hair looks a lot like mine, only longer.Thick and heavy. In understand where you're coming from!

Maybe some small changes will be enough to make you happy with your hair again? A few inches (2-3), some light layering, thinning shears may be all that is needed. By light layering I mean cutting the ends at an angle, so it's not so blunt at the bottom. This will still allow you to braid your hair without dealing with true layers. Perhaps you're just bored? Maybe a color change? Dip-dye the ends? I'm actually considering dip-dying the ends of my own hair, just for fun. They're damaged from years of old bleach and I'm gradually trimming them, but I've gotten bored so I'm going to play. I don't want allover color, since I'm letting my grey hairs grow, but my ends are fair game to play with.

Maybe this will help?

embee
March 23rd, 2013, 03:59 PM
You say you don't have time to make your braided styles, so all you do is a quick bun. I hear that, it's where I am too, only my reason is my hair is so thin that a braid is silly looking most of the time and with my job I need it *up*... which says "bun".

Be *very very* careful about your short cut selection. Consider how much time it will take to style every day and to keep trimmed into shape. Also consider the $$ for trims. It would be distressing to cut and find you hadn't really time or money to keep it the way you want it.

But it really is "just hair" and it will grow out again if you're not happy. Good luck! :)

Magalo
March 23rd, 2013, 03:59 PM
Cut! I agree it looks a bit like a cape... one-length/blunt do not look the best on everyone. I think it looks better on thin/fine, very straight hair, and yours look so thick! If I was you, I would cut a medium/deep U hemline, and add a couple long layers to bring down the weight. It will feel fresher and lighter and I'm sure you'll already feel better about it!

patienceneeded
March 23rd, 2013, 04:07 PM
Magalo had a great suggestion, changing your hemline to a medium-deep U shape, or perhaps even a V shape could help alleviate the weight and blanket feeling.

Something I am considering when my hair gets longer...

ellen732
March 23rd, 2013, 04:08 PM
I feel your pain. I toy with the idea of cutting my hair into a style as well, but I don't because in my opinion long hair is easy. I can just braid it or put it up, or wear it down for that matter as mine is only at waist. I think if you cut it into a true style you will have to, well, style it everyday unless of course you cut to waist and long layer it, that way you can have the best of both worlds. This is what I tell my clients when they are unsure "Bring up the length little by little instead of chopping all at once", that way you can ease your way there and not be totally regretful about change.

jel
March 23rd, 2013, 04:09 PM
Of course it's not just hair; it's your hair! It's special!

I sometimes feel the same about mine - it's princess-like and magical only for several minutes a day; the rest of the time it's in a messy style that sometimes pulls my scalp, the frizzy bits give me a halo, and the top of my head looks flat. I even have the growing-out henna issue that looks weird worn down. Still, I don't cut, for a number of reasons:

1. I do like the magical, exceptional length even if I experience it only for a few minutes per day

2. I'm used to long hair now. I don't think that I would feel comfortable with hair shorter than hip-length, or even BCL. And for my hair to look "styled" without updos, it would have to be layered between APL and BSL.

3. Sometimes - actually, fairly often - my updos do look nice from the front. With a messy middle parting and a low nape bun, I look like I've got a short bob from the front. Maybe what I need is just some product to tame the halo...

4. I like my long hair (have I mentioned that? ;)). Especially the sensuality of it covering my back, sliding down my arms, tickling my thighs...


I think you like your long hair too. If you cut it significantly shorter, you may regret it. On the other hand, if you cut in some long layers to hip/tailbone, even if you don't like it that much, your hair will grow back quicker than from, say, APL. Still, maybe all you need is a more moisturising routine/ new products...

I know that I'm not the only one here who thinks your hair is amazing, Spidermom. Whatever you decide to do, we're with you! :D

Kherome
March 23rd, 2013, 04:24 PM
Life is too short to hate your hair. If you think this is what you want, I'm sure you'll be happy with the results! You don't even have to lose any length, you can just add some layers like you mentioned.

cathair
March 23rd, 2013, 04:41 PM
Just wanted to remind you how :thud:-worthy your hair is. I know the thickness is irritating you, but it is so pretty. From what I remember of your replies to other people's posts, although I could be very wrong, I don't think you much like V cuts and layers. I can imagine you feeling your hair looks thin. But you also appear to be much braver about cutting than I am, so I am sure if you set your mind to cutting it you will.

You also mentioned that the hair cut might be about wanting to be younger, but a lot of the time women cut their hair shorter when they are older, so it may have the opposite effect. My hair is so much thinner than yours, the only real comparison I can make is when I had really really thick extensions. I remember they were hard work, they were heavy, sweaty, tangley and generally a nuisance, so I can understand why you are frustrated. But I loved them, I just wanted to remind you how beautiful your hair is.

cathair
March 23rd, 2013, 04:45 PM
Maybe you need to remind yourself why you grew it in the first place, then you'll know better if you can part with it? Get up a little earlier a few days a week to do those braided styles you love, remembering that they won't work as well in shorter or layered hair. If doing your hair the way you live to do it still doesn't make you want to keep it as it is, then maybe a cut is the right thing for you. If you hate it when you do cut, it'll always grow back :)

This too, maybe sectioning it up for different braids and letting different parts of your scalp breathe might help? Sometimes that's makes mine feel a lot lighter and fresher.

lapushka
March 23rd, 2013, 04:46 PM
I think it's gorgeous. You know, every spring, before I hit BSL, I would be dying for a change. I would have my hair cut. Every spring without fail. That's why I know I get scissor happy in spring time. Maybe it's the same for you. It passed for me, however, when I hit BSL and I enjoyed growing to longer lengths. I haven't reached my goal yet, but I don't know how I'll feel when I do. If I will also want to cut back.

All I know is, it's your hair, and you can do whatever you want with it. But maybe, if you do decide to cut, start with a small change first. Try cutting a few inches. Try a few longer layers. Then see how you feel.

Macaroni
March 23rd, 2013, 04:50 PM
UltraBella did a beautiful cut and style recently.

heidi w.
March 23rd, 2013, 04:53 PM
There's nothing wrong with your hair. You're focusing on it too much as the source of all that ails you. Just forget it for a few days, and it'll be like having new hair. I also saw some nice buns--photos too--that might give you some ideas of buns you can do. Don't worry about what it's called; just try a few. It's hard for me to type accurately.

The way to dry hair more quickly is to sit in front of a fan and dry it. That's the only other way. Be careful of your distance from a fan. I learned this from Lady Godiva.
heidi w.

RavenBaby
March 23rd, 2013, 05:02 PM
Your hair looks fantastic, like seriously. I think it would just as good with a couple less inches, I'm personally against layers because getting rid of them is hell and lasts a long time so think very carefully before getting layers I'd say (especially if its been years since you had them). If I was you I would cut about 3 inches at the salon and go from there. You have so much length that loosing a little wouldn't affect how beautiful your hair is at all.

PraiseCheeses
March 23rd, 2013, 05:02 PM
NOOOOOOoooo, Spidermom!!!

:P Just kidding. But your hair is so beautiful and unique....

What you're saying about damage is completely understandable. It's important that you enjoy your hair and are happy with the quality. But I've never seen damaged hair in any picture you've ever posted - just thick, healthy hair. It's probably really hard for a picture to show damage the same way you see it in real life, but... may I inquire as to whether or not you have any perfectionist tendencies? :P

I do remember a picture you posted a while back - maybe in one of the "favorite pictures taken of your hair" threads - in which your side is to the camera, you're holding a (child? pet?) and your head is turned towards the camera and your hair is cascading down your back in long layers. Yeah, that hair was so amazing that the image has stayed with me. You're one stunning lady with some gorgeous hair.

Angelica
March 23rd, 2013, 05:29 PM
You are so lucky having such thick wonderful hair. It's gorgeous. I can never understand why people with such thick hair complain about it. Imagine having hair that is i like mine which is poker straight, and I can honestly say that my hair blunt cut will never look as good as yours blunt cut. Layers made my hair look even thinner that it was, like I was balding rather than someone who was just naturally very fine haired. So I am not a lover of layers. I just like long, unstyled hair. I wear mine up all the time not because I believe it protects the hair, but because it looks better up. The wind would only have to get hold of my hair and I'd have rats tails. But you on the other hand shouldn't have this problem.

Of course it's your hair and at the end of the day, you'll make the final decision.

But by the look of the photograph you have shown I'd say no you don't have to cut.

eros
March 23rd, 2013, 05:29 PM
Cut! I agree it looks a bit like a cape... one-length/blunt do not look the best on everyone. I think it looks better on thin/fine, very straight hair, and yours look so thick! If I was you, I would cut a medium/deep U hemline, and add a couple long layers to bring down the weight. It will feel fresher and lighter and I'm sure you'll already feel better about it!

spot on. i know someone with super fine/thin/ stick straight hair and she has a blunt cut. looks GORGEOUS. but then again, a layered cut/ v shaep wouldn't look very nice on her.
as for OP : baby steps. don't do anything drastic all at once. for example, if you want to cut off some of your hair, try a few inches first, and see how you like that. if you do, you can keep going(or not).

Mya
March 23rd, 2013, 05:42 PM
I have bushy and frizzy hair too. I don't see anything wrong with that. It's my hair, it has always been like that, always will be. That's part of the "unusual": I don't have to tame the frizz like anyone else is doing, I like it because that's the way my hair is. People do a lot of things to their hair to get volume and I don't have to.

I think that the important thing here is that you don't live your hair as a problem. Do you really want your hair to be different or do you just focus too much on it? Up to you. :)

Your hair is beautiful by the way. :)

goldloli
March 23rd, 2013, 06:18 PM
Layers from bsl down, like ultrabellas when she had long hair. You have a good deal of thickness like her, i feel it would help with the weight, curl and cape issue while giving a new look and retaining length.

I do find layered wurly hair to be more youthful than blunt, vivacious kinda.

jeanniet
March 23rd, 2013, 06:25 PM
I cut back to waist recently, and I'm actually very happy with it. I lost about 6", but it's made a real difference in terms of enjoyment. It's lighter, dries way faster, is easier to wear down, and still can be worn up. If you're looking for a change, I think you could cut back to between waist and hip (or maybe hip with layers up to waist?) and still feel like your hair is long, but manageable.

Angelica, thick hair can be a real pain the ass sometimes. Mine has to be down to dry (which takes hours), because if it's up it can easily take more than a day to dry. Since I air dry, that means a wash has to be planned so that I don't have anything going on where I have to look finished. I can't wear my hair down outside unless there is zero wind, which isn't too common here. My hair loose in wind is a recipe for disaster, and hours of careful detangling. It's heavy; it pulls. I don't mind the thickness, and I'm used to it at this point, but sometimes it's really not all it's cracked up to be!

teal
March 23rd, 2013, 06:37 PM
I think you like your long hair too. If you cut it significantly shorter, you may regret it. On the other hand, if you cut in some long layers to hip/tailbone, even if you don't like it that much, your hair will grow back quicker than from, say, APL.

This is what I think, too. At least the change isn't as drastic if you decide it's a mistake, and if the layers aren't enough to satisfy then you can get it cut shorter.

Yozhik
March 23rd, 2013, 06:46 PM
I read in another thread that you were thinking of cutting eight inches for a layered hemline - why don't you give it a try and see if you like it?

I personally think your hair is beautiful. I also can sympathize about the frizz and thick hanging nature - mine does much the same, which is why I did a dramatic deep u cut last summer. I was still shocked by the loss of length to do certain buns, but now I leave my hair down more regularly, don't worry so much about damage, and have reduced my splits drastically.

Also, as I'm sure you'll recall, if you cut your hair too short, heavy thick hair tends to poof unless it's styled/layered. (Oh the poodle days of my adolescence... :o).

Naiadryade
March 23rd, 2013, 06:50 PM
To start off, your hair is totally an inspiration. It would still be an inspiration at waist, because it is so thick and beautiful. And, do what makes you happy, not what makes us happy. I've noticed you mentioning in other posts lately that you're not very happy with your hair. So change something! A lot of good ideas have been thrown around already... I like the idea of changing your hemline and doing "light layers" like someone described and/or some long layers to bring out the wurl. Cut a few inches back as you do this, maybe to waist. See how that feels for a while. You'll still be able to do braided styles at this length, so it's the best of both worlds. If you decide you don't like it, you can cut more and/or it will grow back.

One thing I'm pretty sure of: it'll probably look great whatever you do.

Also, changing your hair almost definitely won't fix any other problems in your life. But it might not weigh you down so much, physically and metaphysically.

dulce
March 23rd, 2013, 07:13 PM
I love your hair!!But if you truly want a change,I do agree with MAGALO,and PATIENCENEEDED.A v hem or a sharp u hem with lite layers will reduce weight and bulk and re-add curls which may have been lost due to the heavy weight of the hair.You could still put it up[I LOVE the African Butterfly clip for superfast fast stylish dos] and it looks especially good with wavy layered long hair.And you would still have length,it might have more style down now[I thought it looked fine before, but I suspect this might be what you are after] good luck on your decision!! Oh- and I second drying with a floor fan,it's very fast and non damaging.

Carolyn
March 23rd, 2013, 07:46 PM
I wouldn't cut more than I could grow back in a year. A year of growing back out wouldn't be so bad if you hate it. I absolutely love the cape like look your hair has. I wanted mine to feel like a heavy cape but it didn't. As you know a year ago last December, I cut from just shy of tailbone to about 3" above waist with a U shape hemline. Over the next year I slowly went a bit shorter with each trim, deepening the U shape and adding light layers. The layers surprisingly do not prevent me from doing a nice single braid. That totally took me by surprise. However as I got up near BSL I lost the ability to do many of the buns I had done at waist or longer. One thing I gained back was the ability to wear a ponytail again. It was impossible with waist and longer hair. The tangles were horrendous and the weight pulling on the back of my head was uncomfortable. So I gained some things and lost some things. This past December I had it trimmed to top of bra strap and a little below mid back. That was my final trim shorter. I am growing again. I really doubt I will go below waist again. My goal now is to find a length where I can still wear a ponytail and wear it down but regain my former bun-ability. So I would say trim off a few inches,maybe not more than 6, and reshape your hemline and get some very light layers.

My personal opinion is almost every woman looks better with long hair. If she loves her hair it will show. I would never feel pretty with short hair. Even at shoulder length I felt like a dowdy old frump and I was much younger the last time I had shoulder length hair. SM, your hair is so spectacular. Sure go ahead and make some minor changes but don't get a frumpy old lady cut. Do I have to come out there and restrain you? :gabigrin:

MidnightMoon
March 23rd, 2013, 07:51 PM
Well I just love hair that ''looks like a cape'', that's my goal. I dislike layers because they make hair seem thinner and shorter in my opinion, and you dont really achieve the 'medieval', 'princess' or whatever old story-like style I like with layers, shorter hair, modern hairstyles, etc., but that's just me...I can appreciate hair better when it's thick and has the same length, it makes you actually see the hair, not the hairstyle.

kidari
March 23rd, 2013, 09:12 PM
I just wanted to say :thudpile::thudpile:... that is my reaction when I saw that picture of your hair. You should do baby steps, only take off an inch or two and maybe go for a slight U hem at first? Then long layers after that and see from there? As someone who has a deep V shape with tons of layers I just have to point out a couple pitfalls: braids are a nightmare to do and even buns don't look perfect if you like that sort of thing. I sometimes just embrace the messiness my layers give to any updos I do. Also, layers that are more complicated need to be carefully reshaped more often than if it were all one length, especially if your hair does not grow evenly.

ghost
March 23rd, 2013, 10:23 PM
I think a moderate U-shape hemline would look really pretty, and gently shape your hair so that it doesn't have the "cape" effect that you dislike. If you don't want to commit to layers, you could have some of your length thinned out with texturizing shears -it takes some of the weight out so your hair might not hang so heavily, but it doesn't remove length the way that layers do. You might see more of your waves and curls as a result.

GrowingGlory
March 23rd, 2013, 11:07 PM
It looks so good. Why cut? Maybe different products and styles would help you to make it look and feel different without cutting it.

dulce
March 23rd, 2013, 11:23 PM
i think I know how Spidermom might feel.I just cut bangs and a few face framing layers and might trim about 2 inches off my ends.Sometimes you just need a change..

dulce
March 23rd, 2013, 11:24 PM
Whatever you decide,post a pic ,SPIDERMOM!

Ravenwind
March 24th, 2013, 12:12 AM
I personally think you'd be best off getting long layers. It would definitely take off some of the weight and get you some movement and texture. Plus it would still be long enough for your favorite updo's. I think long hair like yours would look really nice with layers. But the decision is yours :)

juliaxena
March 24th, 2013, 12:38 AM
Well, I am at APL, my hair is not heavy and it won't for the life of me look like a cape (perhaps I am not allowed a U hemline really) and I am also not too happy about it. Being happy about hair seems to be a rare occurance from all the posts, blogs etc we see here. So even if you go for a big change, you might not be happy with it at the end.

Sarahlabyrinth
March 24th, 2013, 12:50 AM
Spidermom, I think your hair is gorgeous! I don't think you should cut it. Having said that I am not the one having to live with it either. If you are really unhappy with it, follow the two week rule then do a small trim, something which won't take too long to grow back. Think of all the years you spent getting to your current length. Ok I'm going back to my corner now. :)

Charybdis
March 24th, 2013, 03:04 AM
Spidermom, your hair thickness and texture are very similar to mine, with the mix of different hair types contributing to the bushy/frizzy effect. While it will probably interfere with your ability to do some types of braids, I really recommend putting some layers in, especially as you're not doing a lot of braids anyway at this point. If you're feeling really bold and have a stylist you trust, you could also take thinning shears to it and lose a lot of bulk that way. That's what I have to do at shorter lengths to keep my hair from turning into a giant triangle. I know some people think thinning shears are The Work of The Devil, but I've always been happy with the effect on my hair. I think the important thing is just not to overuse them.

Whatever you decide, I hope you end up with a hairstyle you like!

alyaziaaah
March 24th, 2013, 04:09 AM
i can understand where you are coming from.
i also think to cut a deep U or even better a V, get some long layers, get a few long bang strands around your cheek and chin bones. you will feel and look many years younger. your hair is beautiful but frankly speaking, this blunt hemline does look a bit plain and doesnt bring out the beauty of you and your hair. i imagine you with mermaid hair. romantic, young, sexy, lively. i think above suggestion would achieve that look. but if you cut it short you might feel you changed a lot for a little while, but shorter hair isnt easier to put up or be out of the way. my hair is layered and just now reached BSL again and it in the way and as difficult to put up in styles as it was when it was longer. the grass is not greener on the other side, it just seems to be.
you might get some new colours in make up or nailpolish or clothes, try new styles, this is what makes you feel and look younger, like a new style jeans, if you just make a low ponytail with layered V cut hair and loop the ends through that is very fast, keeps it out of the way and looks very young and relaxed and fresh. hope that helped

duchesswannabe
March 24th, 2013, 04:38 AM
If you want to cut your hair, for the love of Pete try to avoid the layers just now. Please try to only cut a few inches off (5-6 isn't a mortal sin in my book, but I am clearly in the minority, of course, here. :)) Going for layers immediately after having had blunt hair at your length may be annoying.

SleepyTangles
March 24th, 2013, 05:41 AM
Just my two cents of "newbie": go for a cut that thrills and exite you and will agree with your texture. Not just "a" change, but "the" change you want. That's the same reason that led me to growing out my hair, not vice versa.
Your hair is beautiful, not plain, cape-like or boring at all to me. I admire your wonderful mane so much, but if you can't enjoy it anymore there's no point into stick with it because the more the better. Just don't cut them on impulse, this kind of cuts are the worst...

spidermom
March 24th, 2013, 09:17 AM
I've been reading and thinking about what everybody is saying. Thank you so much for the compliments. I really needed that positive attention. Things have been really stressful around here lately (deep cleaning, decluttering, rearranging), and I'm not enjoying life very much. I often take feelings like that out on my hair.

All things considered, at this point I favor going back to a deep U (maybe even a V) with light layers, which I had about 4 years ago:
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/spidermom/November2009.jpg

It only took me 4 years to grow those layers out, which I wanted to do because I thought it would be easier to prevent split ends with a blunt cut. Not true. I have so many split ends and white dots and scrunched up hairs in the bottom 6-8 inches of my hair that it's almost unbelievable. I take as good of care of my hair as I'm willing to do. My braids are messy now because of the shed/regrow cycle, so extra ends popping out because of layers really isn't going to be that much of an extra pain.

spidermom
March 24th, 2013, 09:20 AM
I guess that isn't really a deep U.

Bonus braided styles:
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/spidermom/4e9c29b0-6b4a-4e92-8809-0c45e9a28c41_zps5be6f89e.jpg
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/spidermom/snailbraid.jpg

patienceneeded
March 24th, 2013, 09:36 AM
Your hair looks beautiful in the picture with the slight U shape hem. I would take a few inches off, nothing too drastic, and reshape the hemline into a strong U or V. If you have your stylist cut the ends on a slant you'll end up with some light natural layering on the last inch of your hair which helps with the weight a bit but won't mess with your braids.

GrowingGlory
March 24th, 2013, 09:48 AM
It is beautiful either way. You could change it gradually by first having the damage cut off and replacing the blunt hem with a shallow U-shaped hem. If that is not satisfying after two weeks, you could have layers and a V-shaped hem cut in. Of course, I see nothing wrong with your hem now, and I'm not the one who has to be happy with your hair.

jacqueline101
March 24th, 2013, 09:56 AM
Your hair is great I don't see any flaws. I would do the two week rule as you do the two week rule think of the reason you grew your hair. If you want a cut or maybe some sort of new look. Like before when you added layers. Maybe this time around you will try something new that your heart desires.

SleepyTangles
March 24th, 2013, 10:09 AM
Your hair is so mermaid-like with layers... :crush:

longNred
March 24th, 2013, 10:12 AM
All things considered, at this point I favor going back to a deep U (maybe even a V) with light layers, which I had about 4 years ago:
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/spidermom/November2009.jpg



This photo of your hair is gorgeous! Not that I don't love it now, I do, but wow, that lightly layered look is really REALLY pretty!

spidermom
March 24th, 2013, 10:23 AM
I agree. My hair is such a heavy mass right now, and I miss the random curls.

xoxophelia
March 24th, 2013, 10:32 AM
Hello all! Popping in before work :waving:

I'm partial to a thick and heavy hemline since that is something difficult for me to achieve so I admire it when I see it. But, if you aren't happy with your hair I see no issue with cutting back a bit. You could try waist length with long layers (shortest around BSL and maybe some face framing layers). Worst case scenario is that you decide you want your hair long again but it will take 1-2 years. If you get a cut that looks good with your natural wave pattern and then use nondrying products, you also won't have to grow out heat damage.

You could make the argument that it will diminish the unusual nature of your hair, but at the same time who gets to see it if it is always in a bun? It could give you a chance to play more with your waves.

Those are the "pros" that I see. In the end, if you go with a more moderate but still significant cut to start, there isn't too much of a cost with deciding you don't like it. Less drying time, enough ease to wear it down, and other styling options like ponytails are all good reasons to consider cutting.

GrowingGlory
March 24th, 2013, 11:25 AM
Maybe a deep half-up with a comet bun would give you a similar effect without cutting. You could gather hair from the sides to simulate a U- or V-shaped hem. That might feel lighter and look similar to the cut in the photograph.

Oh, and so many people here aspire to a full blunt hem and a curtain-like effect.

Angelica
March 24th, 2013, 11:41 AM
I've been reading and thinking about what everybody is saying. Thank you so much for the compliments. I really needed that positive attention. Things have been really stressful around here lately (deep cleaning, decluttering, rearranging), and I'm not enjoying life very much. I often take feelings like that out on my hair.

All things considered, at this point I favor going back to a deep U (maybe even a V) with light layers, which I had about 4 years ago:
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/spidermom/November2009.jpg

It only took me 4 years to grow those layers out, which I wanted to do because I thought it would be easier to prevent split ends with a blunt cut. Not true. I have so many split ends and white dots and scrunched up hairs in the bottom 6-8 inches of my hair that it's almost unbelievable. I take as good of care of my hair as I'm willing to do. My braids are messy now because of the shed/regrow cycle, so extra ends popping out because of layers really isn't going to be that much of an extra pain.

Your hair is simply magnificent and I would give a anything to have hair like that. I also think it worth noting that you say you tend to take things out on your hair. So think carefully before you do those layers. Hair takes so long to grow and it would be like cutting your nose off to spite your face. Is a haircut really going to take the stress out of your life? I must admit I have chopped in the past, but the change only made me happy for a little while. Only you can decide thought and I hope that whatever is causing you stress ends soon. :)

Schnee
March 24th, 2013, 11:52 AM
I actually like the layers and u hemline, so if you loved that style and know it would work for you, just cut it. ;) You know it and know what it takes to go back from there, no surprises for you. I considering cutting my hair back to mid thigh (it's ankel now), because I really liked that length on me, the look and ther versitality in hair styles I could do then.

dulce
March 24th, 2013, 11:55 AM
I also remember that pic of you,facing the camera,at a side angle,holding a child,with your curls and layers,it was SO gorgeous..I am facing the same dilemma and really miss my v hem and am struggling now with what to do.Personally,I hope you don't cut above waist but just alter your hem and add a few light layers to add shape,bring back curls and reduce weight of your hair.But you need to do what makes YOU happy.

turtlelover
March 24th, 2013, 12:09 PM
This photo of your hair is gorgeous! Not that I don't love it now, I do, but wow, that lightly layered look is really REALLY pretty!

Oh, I LOVE that pic! That would be really pretty even if you went to hip length.

spidermom
March 24th, 2013, 12:47 PM
I just realized that the time between the lightly layered hair and U-hem to the most recent picture on my original post was only 3 years and 2 months, so that's how long it took to grow out the layers.

GrowingGlory
March 24th, 2013, 01:17 PM
You could simulate that look with a hidden banana clip. It would be a 2/3 up or a 3/4 up. Garnier Fructis Hydra Recharge shampoo makes hair feel lighter.

spidermom
March 24th, 2013, 01:32 PM
I also remember that pic of you,facing the camera,at a side angle,holding a child,with your curls and layers,it was SO gorgeous..I am facing the same dilemma and really miss my v hem and am struggling now with what to do.Personally,I hope you don't cut above waist but just alter your hem and add a few light layers to add shape,bring back curls and reduce weight of your hair.But you need to do what makes YOU happy.

I agree; I really love that picture because I hadn't prepared for a picture. It was a "hair in the wild" picture; not combed or arranged or anything. Now that I've had it both ways, I have to say that in general I really prefer the layers. I plan to keep my current length minus 1 inch.

spidermom
March 24th, 2013, 01:34 PM
You could simulate that look with a hidden banana clip. It would be a 2/3 up or a 3/4 up. There is a shampoo by that makes hair feel lighter. I think that it is called Hydra Moist.

I found an old banana clip during our recent deep cleaning/decluttering project. I'll have to try that.

Beakywitch
March 24th, 2013, 01:34 PM
In the past when my hair has got long I have wanted short and got scissor happy. So I have been around and around in loops of long/short/long/short. As everybody says it's your hair and you can do whatever you like to feel good. Maybe what has suited you before just isn't right for you now? But I have to say, your hair looks so wonderful. I am sitting writing this with a growing out pixie. Beware the pixie. You can have her in an instant but what you have now would take many a long year to have again.

spidermom
March 24th, 2013, 01:36 PM
In the past when my hair has got long I have wanted short and got scissor happy. So I have been around and around in loops of long/short/long/short. As everybody says it's your hair and you can do whatever you like to feel good. Maybe what has suited you before just isn't right for you now? But I have to say, your hair looks so wonderful. I am sitting writing this with a growing out pixie. Beware the pixie. You can have her in an instant but what you have now would take many a long year to have again.

I think I remember when you decided to cut the pixie (although I might have you mixed up with somebody else). You (or she) had good reasons at the time.

No pixie for me. I doubt I'll willingly go shorter than APL ever again. My hair definitely has to be layered at APL, otherwise I have pyramid-head.

MsBubbles
March 24th, 2013, 01:52 PM
Haven't read the whole thread yet...but it just now occurred to me that my hair is growing back from back-to-back sheds, and the new growth feels very heavy (*gasp!*) and thick around my head. I'm way past the fuzzball stage now, thankfully. I was thinking perhaps that as your new growth makes its way further down the length it'll start to feel less hot and heavy around your head and neck. Perhaps the weight of the hair will pull it down some.

I would not recommend the same cut as Ultrabella. If I had your hair I would go for a U or V cut starting at waist and tapering at TB or something, which should lighten the load, and/or getting more pronounced face framing layers to help the buns look less, well, bun-like. I understand your sentiment on buns, completely.

I probably just stuck my foot in my mouth so now I'm going to read back through the thread.

dulce
March 24th, 2013, 02:14 PM
Ditto exactly what MrsBubbles said!

teal
March 24th, 2013, 02:15 PM
Is it that you don't like wearing buns, or the work that a nice bun entails? Those braided styles are beautiful and I particularly like the second one. As a side note, your "bun that stays" is a staple hairstyle of mine, one in which I think I've worn every hairtoy I own, and I thank you very much for it! You've given me a presentable style I can manage to do in under a minute, which is super important to me.

spidermom
March 24th, 2013, 02:19 PM
Is it that you don't like wearing buns, or the work that a nice bun entails? Those braided styles are beautiful and I particularly like the second one. As a side note, your "bun that stays" is a staple hairstyle of mine, one in which I think I've worn every hairtoy I own, and I thank you very much for it! You've given me a presentable style I can manage to do in under a minute, which is super important to me.

I don't like the way I look in buns, although the bangs and slight face framing that I had cut in last year really help. Buns really aren't much work (other than a few practice sessions), although I find that I have to re-do them multiple times most days. I will still wear buns because I want my hair up and out of my way quickly most of the time (valuable lesson from yesterday - bun hair before changing grandson's diaper, otherwise ewwwwwwwww!)

torrilin
March 24th, 2013, 04:14 PM
Loose hair and diapers don't mix. Ditto loose hair and candles...

Honestly, you're really pretty and whatever you decide will end up looking good.

I've been sticking with styles based on twin braids mostly. Heidi braids are easy. Ditto pinning braids into an infinity shape. I keep meaning to try Habioku's oval bun coz it's another twin braid style. I don't have to be very clever to do decent looking twin braids, and even if I want Dutch or French braids, it's pretty fast to do. When I manage to get twin braids and a side part both working, I'm a lot happier with the look too. It's really hard for me to manage the more unique styles on myself, so having a bunch of options that I like perfectly well is a big deal.

My hair seems to be (very) gradually shifting from a blunt hem to a more U or V shape, and I really like it. I'm using my monthly self trim appointments if things need help, and if not, I let it grow.

jeanniet
March 24th, 2013, 04:41 PM
That picture of your hair with the U-hem and layers really looks nice--very wavy. I think the layers are a good idea, and a way to get a change without too much length lost.

I hear you on the stress of decluttering and such. I'm trying to get my parents' house ready for sale (they've moved to assisted living), and it's very stressful, especially since a certain amount of stuff is going to end up here. Ugh. At the same time, I was feeling frustrated with my length, but I have to say losing some inches was a good choice and I'm happy with that. If I liked layers, I probably would have opted for that.

WaitingSoLong
March 24th, 2013, 06:34 PM
All I want to say is I understand your hair frustration to a point and, as you know, I have been waffling over a good cut for at least a year now. I don't have heavy-hair issues but I am very age-conscious of what my hair (or lack of) does to me.

In the end, it is hard to let go of something that has been a part of us for so long, something we have nursed and pampered and strived towards (health wise)...

I am glad you are choosing layers and a hemline variation instead of a huge chop. Do you have much taper at all? I have quite a bit and my hair is thin to begin with.

Every time that I can think of that I finally talked myself into doing something (not always hair related) I have come to regret it. This does not help. I am sure there are exceptions but I cannot think of them. Oh wait...there is one exception...when I finally got the balls to leave my ex. But as far as hair goes, I have regretted it every time.

And you sound like me..."it's just hair" but then...is it?

Kaelee
March 24th, 2013, 06:42 PM
Your hair is beautiful!!!

I definitely agree with the poster who suggested a shape other than a blunt hemline, and some light layering. I think the light layers will help your curls 'bounce back' from being weighed down by your hair, it might really help showcase your beautiful texture. You could only take off a couple of inches and get a whole new look.

I'd also suggest experimenting with new products and methods to help improve the frizziness...I hear that hairtype changes with age and maybe you just need a different sort of haircare now?

ghost
March 25th, 2013, 12:24 AM
Wow, the pic of your layers and U-shaped (or is it V-shaped?) hemline is stunning! Lots of pretty waves and wurls in that one. It's obviously a style that works really well for you.

leslissocool
March 25th, 2013, 12:32 AM
I go with layers and U shape too. It's a really fun shape IMO. Your hair looks amazing not matter what though! I love it, from the color to the texture, your hair has always been my inspiration!

Coolcombination
March 25th, 2013, 04:33 AM
I would advise that you don't do anything drastic yet, your hair looks to be tailbone length So how about cutting to hip or even waist and adding a layer to the last two inches? Then you'll feel a lot better about the change and it'll be lighter,have more movement and be quicker to dry. Plus freshly cut ends are always a bonus! Let us know what you decide! X

alyaziaaah
March 25th, 2013, 05:18 AM
after seeing your pic with the layers i really am in love with your mermaid hair!
you can spice it up a bit more with a V shape, go gentle first and you can always cut more later.
this cut makes a huge difference in your look :crush:

CurlyMopTop
March 25th, 2013, 06:29 AM
No advice here. I just wanted you to know how much I have always admired your hair. :D

cleanbug
March 25th, 2013, 07:53 AM
Im in the same boat. my hair isnt nearly as long as yours but some days (most) i fantasize about cutting it into a graduated bob. i wear it up most of the time and think if it was off my neck, i'd be so much happier. plus,it would look nice around my oblong face to have more width in the style there. i think if youve had it long for so many years, you deserve a fresh new look. i say go for it!

McFearless
March 26th, 2013, 02:04 AM
You've expressed that you strongly dislike the cape appearance and liked your hair when it was layered which encouraged more curl. Go for it!

woolyleprechaun
March 26th, 2013, 05:16 AM
I think it looks wonderful. I love 'cape' hair! If you really don't like it at the moment, I would have some layers put in with a deep u hem or V, just to bring out those lovely waves.
You could always experiment with braided styles just to remind yourself why you love them :) You could even do a nice intricate style, sleep in a cap and wear it the next day. Works for me when I'm short on time.
Also, perhaps treat yourself to a new hairtoy or two? Always cheers me up :D

spidermom
March 26th, 2013, 10:21 AM
I've taken advice to get up earlier and use the time to wear the braided styles that I like. I needed to get back into the habit of getting up early to work out anyway. I'm feeling much more kindly toward my hair right now. It does braids well.

starlamelissa
March 26th, 2013, 10:44 AM
When in doubt, do nothing!

dulce
March 26th, 2013, 03:19 PM
Just got my cut, a v with layers,didn't lose a lot of length in back ,just the sides are shorter and layered and it bounces now,so go for it SPIDERMOM!!My hair is not as thick or long as yours but even in my hair it has made it look and feel much better.My avatar pic is the before..

blondie9912
March 27th, 2013, 08:12 AM
I totally understand how you're feeling. I was dead-set on growing to waist (and would still like to, but with my natural colour, not so much highlighted hair) but now, I don't care anywhere near as much. I was between BSL and waist at the end of Summer 2012, and since then I've cut between 7-10 inches. Now, I'm around shoulder-APL.

I was getting sick of the tangly, highlighted length, and this loss in length will ultimately bring me closer to my hair of VIRGIN long hair. But as I was cutting my hair and enjoying the feel of the crisp ends, I thought to myself the last thing you said, "Who cares? It's only hair."

Perhaps this kind of an attitude is unwelcome on a hair forum, and I completely why. But when you really think about it, if your hair is bothering you, why not cut it? Am I suddenly going to become hideous without those several inches of hair? If your hair is bothering you, then definitely cut it! If it's really what you want, then definitely go for it :) Also, the act of cutting hair is an incredibly liberating experience (not to mention those crisp ends!)

GrowingGlory
March 27th, 2013, 08:45 AM
dulce, can we see some "after" pictures?

spidermom
March 27th, 2013, 09:50 AM
My stylist is DD's best friend and came over for DD's birthday dinner last night. I started to talk to her about what I wanted to do with my hair last night, and she held her hands about a foot apart and said "and let's take this much off the length." Now I'm upset with her. I thought she was on board with my long hair; turns out she's not. I'm kind of afraid for her scissors to get near my hair now.

Dulce, I second the above: after picture please!

Naiadryade
March 27th, 2013, 10:08 AM
Yikes, spidermom! Definitely find someone you can trust to cut only what you want them to. I'd do it for you but we're on opposite sides of the continent!

Dulce... you know you want to hear us coo over your after pictures, don't you? :popcorn:

Kaelee
March 27th, 2013, 10:17 AM
My stylist is DD's best friend and came over for DD's birthday dinner last night. I started to talk to her about what I wanted to do with my hair last night, and she held her hands about a foot apart and said "and let's take this much off the length." Now I'm upset with her. I thought she was on board with my long hair; turns out she's not. I'm kind of afraid for her scissors to get near my hair now.

Dulce, I second the above: after picture please!

Wow. RUDE!!!!! I think even if I wasn't seriously into long hair I would find that incredibly out of line for a hairstylist (or other service professional).

Definitely find someone else to cut your hair. :flower:

lapushka
March 27th, 2013, 10:23 AM
My stylist is DD's best friend and came over for DD's birthday dinner last night. I started to talk to her about what I wanted to do with my hair last night, and she held her hands about a foot apart and said "and let's take this much off the length." Now I'm upset with her. I thought she was on board with my long hair; turns out she's not. I'm kind of afraid for her scissors to get near my hair now.

Wow. I'd definitely let her go as your stylist now. I don't think you can trust her *ever* again.

Schnee
March 27th, 2013, 11:15 AM
My stylist is DD's best friend and came over for DD's birthday dinner last night. I started to talk to her about what I wanted to do with my hair last night, and she held her hands about a foot apart and said "and let's take this much off the length." Now I'm upset with her. I thought she was on board with my long hair; turns out she's not. I'm kind of afraid for her scissors to get near my hair now.

Dulce, I second the above: after picture please!

Don't be too harsh. She's a friend of your daugther, maybe she thought she was allowed some input, since you were discussing it with her. Anyway, why these expectation that other should be on board with your hair? It's yours, grow it for yourself and not other peoples opinion or support...

share801
March 27th, 2013, 12:30 PM
I can understand why you'd be upset.

My last haircut the hairdresser clearly didn't "like" my hair - thought I should color, etc, but she still did what I asked when I disagreed. Not sure if I will go back . . .

spidermom
March 27th, 2013, 12:56 PM
This stylist has always done what I asked, too. I'm sure she felt free to share her thoughts about the length because our relationship isn't strictly professional. She's a personal friend as well.

There's no reason to feel paranoid more than likely.

dulce
March 27th, 2013, 02:34 PM
Spidermom,please find a hair dresser that respects what you want not what she wants ,near your gorgeous hair.I'd be scared of letting her cut my hair.Make sure you can trust her,if she's a friend hopefully she'll do what you ask.

dulce
March 27th, 2013, 06:00 PM
Changed my avatar to show new steep layered u cut,back is just past waist and sides are mid back plus I got my grown out bangs cut back in and a few side tendrils cut to neck length in front.

spidermom
March 27th, 2013, 06:05 PM
Dulce, that is very pretty; such a graceful-looking flow to that shape. I'm really excited to re-do mine.

Naiadryade
March 27th, 2013, 07:34 PM
Dulce, that is very pretty; such a graceful-looking flow to that shape. I'm really excited to re-do mine.

I agree entirely. Dulce, that's a very nice cut on you--somehow it looks longer than waist! And I'm excited for you to re-do yours too, spidermom, as weird as that might sound! You have such amazing hair and it looked so very beautiful with layers (it's still beautiful now, but the wurl with the layers is such a nice effect). I'm excited to see pictures after you get it done.

Kaelee
March 27th, 2013, 10:25 PM
Dulce that is BEAUTIFUL! Spidermom, yours will be beautiful too. I can't wait to see it!

dulce
March 27th, 2013, 10:37 PM
Remember Spidermom,we want to see your new cut..I loved the layers you had in those pics.You have longer,thicker hair than me so you will have more options for layers than I have!

McFearless
March 28th, 2013, 06:11 AM
My stylist is DD's best friend and came over for DD's birthday dinner last night. I started to talk to her about what I wanted to do with my hair last night, and she held her hands about a foot apart and said "and let's take this much off the length." Now I'm upset with her. I thought she was on board with my long hair; turns out she's not. I'm kind of afraid for her scissors to get near my hair now.

Dulce, I second the above: after picture please!
Her suggestion or opinion does not mean she would ever execute it without your consent. No need to be upset with her, but if she is going to cut your hair be very clear with her and make sure the two of you are on the same page before moving forward.

LisaButz2001
March 28th, 2013, 04:34 PM
Spidermom, you had a beautiful signature last year or the year before, where your hair was dark grey and layered, if you know the one I mean-that would be a fantastic style, but the stylist suggesting taking off a foot of length seems punitive. I remember some of your comments about how hard it was to cope with people nagging you to cut it short in the early stages of your growing out journey.

alyaziaaah
March 28th, 2013, 04:43 PM
taking off a foot?? :agape::run:
i wouldnt let that hairdresser near me even if it was the last hairdresser in earth!
please dont shudder: cut that much!

Dulce,
your hair cut looks perfect, lively, flowly, mermaidy, I love it.
Spidermom,
wouldnt that be a style for you? in your length, without taking more than an inch off?
i think it would look beautiful on you :blossom:

duchesswannabe
March 31st, 2013, 11:21 AM
I'm getting the idea that you need to wait awhile; you'll know when you absolutely need a change. I think you should shelve the idea for a while.

Calaelen
March 31st, 2013, 11:29 AM
Spidermom, it sounds as if you've decided on the U shape with layers. I am eagerly awaiting seeing pics, as I remember when you had much more layering and therefor wurls...it was truly something to :thud: about. I agree that your hair fell so much nicer,at that time, and that it now looks like it just hangs there, as you had mentioned. Cut some SHAPE into it! :happydance:

GrowingGlory
March 31st, 2013, 11:36 AM
I honestly like the "curtain" or "drape" effect as much as the layered cascading wurls. But, of course, I am admiring it online, not living under it!

vindo
March 31st, 2013, 04:48 PM
I fear I don't have good advice...
How about growing it to a really long length, not caring much about the ends so they turn into fairytale ends with some natural layers? :lol:

Okay, if that is not an option I think starting with some light layers and going from there sounds like a good first step. Some face framing layers might be something too.

Unicorn
April 1st, 2013, 07:24 PM
The layered look you had in the pic you posted looks really amazing. While I also love your hair as pictured in you signature, it seems a shame for you not to enjoy your hair.

Unicorn

WaitingSoLong
April 1st, 2013, 07:33 PM
Well if you have a foot cut off, be sure and donate it to LoL....:run::couch::bounce:

Jemoiselle
April 1st, 2013, 07:57 PM
I'll pipe in and add how it ended up for me when I was in a similar place in contemplation. When my hair was nearing Classic length the first time, I became irritated with it and chopped it all off after months of deliberation, in one fell swoop, into a terrible Pob! It was fun for the first two days, but then what I had done really set in. I missed my hair more than anything in the world, and would have done almost anything to have been able to go back in time and change my own mind. I dreamed of just that for years off and on! I knew that long hair was truly "me" more than ever, and I set off growing it back. That was in Feb of 2010. It has been just over three years since then, and I am finally past Hip Length now nearing tailbone. It has been a long, painful, torturous road back! I am happy now to have long hair again, and truly wish I would have done my changes (I did need to do it though to find out how much of "me" was invested in my hair, just not the way I did) in increments so that I could have stopped before causing myself YEARS of emotional pain watching it grow back millimeter by millimeter in agony. Please do whatever you need to do in small steps and give yourself a chance to change your mind! I remember thinking "If I cut, and love it, I have the world to gain. If I cut and hate it, it's only 4 years until it's back!" Wow. Foolish words! I severely underestimated what it would be like to grow back. Emotional trauma! If you go to the salon and you feel even a SHRED of longing to not be there as those scissors inch closer and closer, have the guts to say "Wait!" hehe. I wish I had. Right before the first cut, I knew it was going to be a mistake, I looked lovingly at my hair in the mirror, the stylist saw it and asked me if I might want to wait, and I let my pride decide for me. Take your time and talk away! Best of luck!

goldloli
April 1st, 2013, 11:25 PM
I honestly like the "curtain" or "drape" effect as much as the layered cascading wurls. But, of course, I am admiring it online, not living under it!
This so much! I adore seeing some of y'all sheets of hair, such as that one girl with her hair draped over the back of the chair in the sig pic. I've been trimming and trimming and blowdrying straight to get such a look, but darn can you imagine the weight?

Also emichiee, I just saw your hair progress, it's looking amazing!

s-a-m-a-r-k-a-n
April 2nd, 2013, 04:28 AM
Well if you have a foot cut off, be sure and donate it to LoL....:run::couch::bounce:

:rollin::bigtongue:



... chopped it all off after months of deliberation, in one fell swoop, into a terrible Pob! It was fun for the first two days, but then what I had done really set in. I missed my hair more than anything in the world, and would have done almost anything to have been able to go back in time and change my own mind. ...

This is so me. If your nature loves long hair, you are very likely to end up hating your short hair. I think it is very rare to love both styles. I second the idea of small steps :) Good luck :flower:

vindo
April 2nd, 2013, 07:56 AM
This so much! I adore seeing some of y'all sheets of hair, such as that one girl with her hair draped over the back of the chair in the sig pic. I've been trimming and trimming and blowdrying straight to get such a look, but darn can you imagine the weight?

Also emichiee, I just saw your hair progress, it's looking amazing!

Thank you!! :)

WaitingSoLong
April 2nd, 2013, 08:49 AM
This is so me. If your nature loves long hair, you are very likely to end up hating your short hair. I think it is very rare to love both styles.

Wow I think this is definitely me. I could never go back to being a "short hair".

I think it is tempting to do "big chops" because of the thrill of a drastic change. But I agree, small steps is better. I hope I can follow my own advice if/when I ever get the scissors back out.

We need a chicken smiley.

juliaxena
April 2nd, 2013, 10:46 AM
You know spidermom, most curly hair looks great with layers. If I had your hair, I would get them.

Peggy E.
April 2nd, 2013, 02:54 PM
I've not read through all the messages, but I have notiiced that there seems to be mostly younger LHC members responding. I am a little older, but I did want to put forward my experience.

My hair had been much like yours - long, thick, heavy, though not as much so as is yours. Life went along, as it will, and then I turned 60 and it went to hell in a handbasket. I now find myself using monistat to try and thicken in the once oh, so thick hair because it is falling out in a fearful amounts.

When I think that I'd been considering having it thinned - not layered, as I'd never be able to wear the styles I love so much - it just seems surreal that this is happening to me.

Of course, I have health issues, but they are health issues I've been struggling with for years and should not have suddenly turned on my hair because I was suddenly 60! But who knows?

Point being, Spidermom, a word of warning to the deep cut, the possible thinning - it just may not grow back as quickly as you are expecting. Or it may be just fine. Why not take it a bit at a time and see how your hair handles it and how you feel about the changes?

You are an active, beautiful, young-living woman and chances are there will be no problems with your hair growing back or thinning. But it is something you might want to consider somewhat when taking everything else into consideration.

Whatever you do, it will be wonderful!

duchesswannabe
April 3rd, 2013, 04:20 AM
Peggy E.'s response is why I myself bagged the layers, dying and thinning, and why I am maintaining APL or collarbone instead of short. I don't know what will happen after I am done with menopause.

dulce
April 3rd, 2013, 12:54 PM
Some people do lose hair during menopause[age 51 for me],I lost some at the temples that 5% rogaine fully corrected, and the rest of my hair stayed thick and I am now 61. Spidermom's hair is thicker than mine,unless she loses hair in the future and only some will lose hair at mid life,my opinion is don't worry about something that may never happen to you and so get the cut that appeals to you.Many women get no hair loss or minimal hair loss like I did, during menopause and with Spidermom having such thick hair ,even if she lost some hair ,it probably won't show.At 61 I should be all white yet I have white bangs and side streaks only,everyone's different.Now if I could lose my menopausal weight..

spidermom
April 3rd, 2013, 01:12 PM
I've passed through menopause already and will be 60 in 9 months. Hair continues to be thick, although not so thick as it looks due to its fluffy nature. I have a circumference that varies between about 3.8 to 4.2 inches.

My hair appointment is this coming Saturday - April 6 - and I'm still waffling between my usual small trim and light layers. Another consideration is that I'm going to Cancun in May, and it seems wiser to save layering until after my trip. If ends are going to be trashed from sun, sea, and pool, I'd rather it be old ends, not freshly cut ends.

Naiadryade
April 3rd, 2013, 01:13 PM
This is so me. If your nature loves long hair, you are very likely to end up hating your short hair. I think it is very rare to love both styles. I second the idea of small steps :) Good luck :flower:

I'd just like to pipe in that I'm actually one who has really enjoyed an impulsive big chop in the past. When I was 17 and had just moved out of my parents' house to boarding school, I chopped from MBL to just above shoulders. I didn't regret it--I loved it. I did take small steps from there, up to earlobe eventually. Still loved it. Gradually started longing for long hair again, but I kept loving it as it grew out from ear to shoulder. I'm less of a fan of the APL-BSL range, because it's neither short nor long... but I fully expect to love it again when it gets past waist.

I wouldn't recommend this though... I think I'm one of those rarities!

Spidermom, I'm still excited to see whatever you do! It's really encouraging to hear that your thickness is actually around 4", which is the same as mine... That means that when my hair is as long as yours, it will probably look as thick as yours! And that's exciting.

dulce
April 3rd, 2013, 06:01 PM
Wow! my thickness varies from 3.2-3.5,you do have thick hair Spidermom,no worries on thinning there..

Kaelee
April 3rd, 2013, 10:34 PM
Wow I think this is definitely me. I could never go back to being a "short hair".

I think it is tempting to do "big chops" because of the thrill of a drastic change. But I agree, small steps is better. I hope I can follow my own advice if/when I ever get the scissors back out.

We need a chicken smiley.

I actually love short hair, and greatly admire it on other girls (though more utilitarian styles...pixie for instance, not the "tons of styling required to be presentable" styles). I have considered cutting my hair short many many times over the past year or so. The problem is, it's way easier to cut it off, than to put it back on. ;) In the past I've cut it, and then I've missed my long hair and started going through the long growing-out process again. It's not that I don't like short hair, but I don't like it *as much* as long hair. (I also think it doesn't suit my face as well as long hair.)

duchesswannabe
April 4th, 2013, 05:27 AM
Spidermom, whatever cut you decide, I hope you are pleased with it. :)

WaitingSoLong
April 4th, 2013, 05:27 AM
I actually love short hair, and greatly admire it on other girls (though more utilitarian styles...pixie for instance, not the "tons of styling required to be presentable" styles). I have considered cutting my hair short many many times over the past year or so. The problem is, it's way easier to cut it off, than to put it back on. ;) In the past I've cut it, and then I've missed my long hair and started going through the long growing-out process again. It's not that I don't like short hair, but I don't like it *as much* as long hair. (I also think it doesn't suit my face as well as long hair.)

I love short hair on other people, too! There are so many heads of hair on here I admire. If everyone only knew how much I stalk the super-shorties thread ;) And I agree about the styles that don't require tons of work to be presentable. I am too practical a person to have hair like that anymore. BTDT, especially int he 80's when I spent 2 hours teasing my hair every morning before school...

I dislike short hair very much on myself. I am not sure that it is my face, but that it is just not "me"/ I REALLY need to find that old pic of me with a pixie and scan it in! Very recently someone posted an anniversary thread (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=111601) and I have to say, her "before" picture made me drool and gasp with envy!

I have also been tempted to cut off my bleached hair and start the growing process from "scratch" (shoulder/APL) but I am too chicken. See, need that chicken smiley.

Schnee
April 9th, 2013, 11:10 AM
How did it go, Spidermom? Do you have a new haircut? :)

spidermom
April 9th, 2013, 11:18 AM
My stylist cancelled our appointment; her step-father was in the hospital on life support from a nonstop seizure that prevented him from being able to breathe (and has died, very sad; they have no idea why this happened).

Meanwhile, I have been getting up a little earlier so that I could do a braided style that I like instead of resorting to a quick bun that I hate. I also started using a new product that was on sale - Renpure Originals argan oil formula shampoo, conditioner, and leave-in oil solution (also contains cones) in the blue bottles. I am in love with this product! My hair is so much nicer and the ends no longer feel dry. So I've decided to leave my hair alone until I return from Mexico on June 1.

Sunshineliz
April 9th, 2013, 11:28 AM
I hope you love it, whatever you decide. I do understand the feeling though. I was so frustrated with my waist-length hair even though it is nowhere near as thick as yours. It was always in the way and I didn't know any good ways to put it up. My braids were fuzzy, and I didn't know any buns except a ponytailed and pinned cinnabun and that hurt my head and made me feel old. So I chose something drastic and cut it off to shoulder with face-framing layers. Then felt terrible about it and have been growing it back out. I hadn't had it shorter than BSL since I was 10. It's taking longer than I'd like to grow it back out so it looks nice again. I don't love buns all the time (like you, I think they all look the same in the front) but they aren't painful with hairsticks and forks and they're very handy to keep the hair out of the way. I feel less old in them with a fun stick and if I keep the buns high. I love braids though, but you're right they take time and I haven't worked out a good way to keep them from getting fuzzy (although they're alot better than they used to be.)

Anyway, I think your idea of layers sounds better than a full-out chop. With your thickness and texture, I actually think they'd be really nice!

ETA: Must've been typing while you wrote back Spidermom. Sorry about your stylists stepfather. :( Good luck with the hair and the braids!

WaitingSoLong
April 9th, 2013, 12:35 PM
I love braids though, but you're right they take time and I haven't worked out a good way to keep them from getting fuzzy (although they're alot better than they used to be.)

The only way I know is to HEAVILY oil them. Parandi do a good job of keeping my braids from frizzing out as well. I damp braid otherwise it is pointless. I threw my hair is a quick dry braid the other day and left the house. I regretted it immediately! In 10 minutes it was fuzzing out and by the time I got home it looked awful and had knots in it.

spidermom
April 9th, 2013, 12:54 PM
My braids don't fuzz up when I bun them. My favorite style right now is to do twin dutch braids down the back of my head, then thread the ends of my braids up the back of my head through the braid bumps, forming an X each time they cross. When I get to the ends, I tuck them under the other braids with bobby pins. Comfortable (unless I braid in one or more hairs out of place and they pull), neat, and kind of exotic looking all day.

pinchbeck
April 9th, 2013, 01:37 PM
When I feel like having a new look my hair gets cut and layered to bsl. I don't go shorter because bsl is a good length to decide if going shorter is a good idea or not and so far going shorter hasn't been in the cards.

When my hair is at waist length and I've had it cut to to bsl, I've enjoyed my new look! In the back of my mind I know that growing it back takes about 1.5 years with trims, so it is not big sacrifice for me. There is nothing wrong with making a change as long as there are no big regrets afterward.

patienceneeded
April 9th, 2013, 06:42 PM
My braids don't fuzz up when I bun them. My favorite style right now is to do twin dutch braids down the back of my head, then thread the ends of my braids up the back of my head through the braid bumps, forming an X each time they cross. When I get to the ends, I tuck them under the other braids with bobby pins. Comfortable (unless I braid in one or more hairs out of place and they pull), neat, and kind of exotic looking all day.

Do you have a pic of this? It sounds really interesting but I'm having a hard time picturing it.

Sorry about your stylist's father. How awful!

Naiadryade
April 9th, 2013, 07:44 PM
My braids don't fuzz up when I bun them. My favorite style right now is to do twin dutch braids down the back of my head, then thread the ends of my braids up the back of my head through the braid bumps, forming an X each time they cross. When I get to the ends, I tuck them under the other braids with bobby pins. Comfortable (unless I braid in one or more hairs out of place and they pull), neat, and kind of exotic looking all day.

Spidermom, it's great to hear that you're happier with your hair for now! It really is stunning, with or without layers. And I love the style you're describing, but my hair is too short/thick to really pull it off... I can only get as far as basically making a diamond with the braids, then I run out. I'm really looking forward to wearing it more regularly when I have longer hair so it looks better. I bet with your long hair, it's gorgeous! Pictures, please? :pray:


Do you have a pic of this? It sounds really interesting but I'm having a hard time picturing it.

Sorry about your stylist's father. How awful!

Loepsie on youtube has a great tutorial for this style, which she calls interlaced braids (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lG4MTltnX7M).

long&blonde
April 9th, 2013, 08:37 PM
I recently googled The Curly Girl salon, Devachan, knowing it was in NYC, to get an address, thinking cool road trip?
Found out there are listings for stylists who went & trained at Devachan/in the curly girl method,from the book,all over.
One in my Pa.backyard.
I called & she said they do free consultation,cut dry,and definitely you could get a curly girl cut,still keeping hair close to tb.

Just a thought.
Your hair is beautiful, Spidermom.
It's Spring & getting warm & humid.

WaitingSoLong
April 10th, 2013, 05:43 AM
Just a thought.
Your hair is beautiful, Spidermom.
It's Spring & getting warm & humid.

The increase in temps/humidity has made a HUGE HUGE HUGE change in my hair. It is back to spitting hair sticks and behaves much better. I don't know why so many people hate humidity, I guess because it makes their hair relax and it loses body. I am not interested in body! The lack of static alone is a great improvement.

long&blonde
April 10th, 2013, 03:34 PM
My hair loves heat and humidity.
The older I get, it's Me that doesn't! As a youngun, i hated freezing air conditioned offices. In my mid 50s, rather than doing the hot flash routine, I just got constantly warmer/hot, and stayed there. It's the poring sweat, with the cape of tb hair down my back,that bugs me. From experience I've learned it feels way worse than it looks. Humidity & sweating gives my waves ringlets. I wanted to comment, Spidermom, you commented you thought were you considering a cut to look younger? A comment in solidarity; I am age 58 also. I don't know what it is about 58, are we unconsciously preparing how we want to eventually "do old"? I have been thinking constantly, do I want to go natural, which would be snow white tb. I figger I could dye my medium blonde hair lightest ash blonde/platinum, let my roots grow in from there. Do I want to grow older doing a single braid down my back, or get layers cut in/a "curlygirl cut" and hope to wear it down? Attractive as that is, I also know my own dislike for anything that makes me feel one iota warmer,lol. And the refiguring of my wardrobe, omg. It's endless. It's like 58 is you reinvent yourself again,going with not what your goals for yourself are/but where you actually are now;and how to make the best of it. If that makes any sense. I've found myself checking out women in their late 50s to 80s,to see "how they are doing it." I am sure to compliment too,anytime I see an elder whose look I admire. Thinking it might be a "being 58 thing."

catamonica
April 22nd, 2013, 12:06 PM
You have beautiful hair. If you cut it, maybe you should only take a few inches off. That way you still have long hair. But do what
makes you happy.

catamonica
April 22nd, 2013, 12:07 PM
You have beautiful hair. If you cut it, maybe you should only take a few inches off. That way you still have long hair. But do what makes you happy.

patienceneeded
April 22nd, 2013, 12:43 PM
*snip*
Loepsie on youtube has a great tutorial for this style, which she calls interlaced braids (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lG4MTltnX7M).

Thanks for the link! I'm going to try that soon, it looks quite simple. I just needed a visual.

LisaButz2001
July 1st, 2013, 02:34 PM
@WaitingsoLong: Wasn't your hair long enough to sit on? Is that a new signature pic? If it is, why'd you decide to cut?