Why can't I just leave my hair alone?

[fungo]

I am driving myself crazy worrying about my hair. I decided to stop using permanent dye August last year. I also have had it cut to remove old damaged hair. I am toning my roots as I have a lot of grey coming through but I can't stop obsessing about the colour and length. I never used to be like this I always had long hair and it just grew until I got bored and I chopped it off and it grew again. But now I check my hair numerous times in the mirror in different rooms, in different lights. I buy new shampoos, toners, conditions I don't even need. I just can't leave my hair alone, it's so frustrating.

[jacqueline101]

Maybe deep down inside you're not happy. That's why you keep looking for different products. I did that until I found my happiness.

[furnival]

Did these symptoms appear after you joined this forum, perchance? ;)

[cranberrymoonz]

Try to focus on other things! Put your hair up every day and post your updos is the 'wear hair up for..' thread. Try to stop looking in mirrors at all, exept for maybe a few minutes in the morning to check your hair or make up.

[fungo]

No, if only it were that simple :) I happened after I stopped using permanent dye. For some reason I found comfort in hair dye, how weird is that!

[AnnaJamila]

Maybe deep down inside you're not happy. That's why you keep looking for different products. I did that until I found my happiness.

Sounds a bit odd but this could be right- if you're stressed out or unhappy with something in your life sometimes your hair can become a safety blanket and you mess with it and mess with it until you drive yourself nutz! And yeah, this website'll do it to ya! My best advice is to get a hobby. :shrug:

[katiebeans]

Perhaps if you pick up a new hobby, like knitting or a new instrument or anything at all, you can focus on that and not on your hair.

[melusine963]

I have no advice about colour, since I've never dyed mine. However, the only thing that stops me obsessing about my length is to keep my hair up all the time unless I'm detangling it. That way it's easy to forget it's there.

[MiaBeth]

Same thing with me ... it's almost like caring for my hair has *become* my new hobby -- not good. I'm looking forward to spring and getting back in the garden : )

[cathair]

I agree with the mirrors thing. Not owning a mirror got me through 3.5 years or benign neglect :) This forum really won't help though. Perhaps the up do for (insert amount of time) may be a better idea :)

[fungo]

Same thing with me ... it's almost like caring for my hair has *become* my new hobby -- not good. I'm looking forward to spring and getting back in the garden : )

MiaBeth nice to know I am not alone. It does become a hobby, hopefully the good weather will bring some distractions :)

[ghost]

No, if only it were that simple :) I happened after I stopped using permanent dye. For some reason I found comfort in hair dye, how weird is that!

I feel the same way :) A couple of years ago I grew out my natural hair color and realized that I was really missing that monthly ritual of doing something for myself. Maybe you could try some deep-conditioning treatments instead. Applying a deep conditioner is similar enough to the movements of applying hair dye to soothe your muscle memory (especially if you mix it up in a color bottle), it sits on your hair for about the same length of time, and your hair looks fresh and pretty when you wash it out. I've gone back to coloring my hair since I'm more of a raven-haired girl at heart than a blonette, but I still enjoy finding recipes to make my own hair treatments.

[akilina]

Sounds a bit odd but this could be right- if you're stressed out or unhappy with something in your life sometimes your hair can become a safety blanket and you mess with it and mess with it until you drive yourself nutz! And yeah, this website'll do it to ya! My best advice is to get a hobby. :shrug:
I 100% agree.
I wasnt working for the last almost year, and have been working now for two weeks. It was like a switch was flipped. Im not depressed anymore, and my day actually has a purpose. If you are doing something daily, and its a drag, I highly suggest changing something in your life.
Whatever it is you see fit... Another plus side is ever since I started pursuing this job I haven't been obsessing about my hair at all.

I believe there is something underlying that is influencing this hairy problem. Maybe you can find the base of it, Idk...maybe I am totally wrong but it makes a lot of sense to me.

[SnowWhite]

Yeps, my mum has the same thing. If she's really stressed, she cuts her hair and gets obsessed with it. She had an almost buzz cut. Awful. She hated it. But it was just a sort of stress outlet at that moment. If she's stressed now, I have to make sure she doesn't do anything to her hair because she'll regret it.

[SleepyTangles]

On me the happiness thing always proved at least half-true, but everyone is different. A-hem, I think I am a bit addicted to hennaing: weight it, mix it, apply, taking care of everything... there is a point where it stopped to be relaxing.
Same thing with deep treatments: with regular overdoing - It finally stressed me so much that... well, I've simply jumped in the benign neglect wagon... Although, I won't advice you to follow this technique, its a quite stressful way to reduce stress :rolling:.
Let's say, maybe choosing an equivalent occupation- like learning new updos, braids and other useful, practical stuff - will keep you out of trouble. Or a new hobby, like many said!

[fungo]

Well I decided I had to take action and do something positive with my hair. I hate the look of it without dye but rather than reaching for something permanent I used Naturtint Reflex. It only lasts a month but the Hazelnut Blonde has blended the grey and given my hair a shine. It feels soft and looks like it has been styled, even the mullet looks ok with the short bits pinned back.

So hopefully I can relax a bit and stop thinking I look a mess, I'm off shopping today to buy some wool so I can knit a few hats :)

[Toadstool]

I am the same. I was just about to suggest you dye it again LOL
Great idea about the knitting- good luck!

[fungo]

I am the same. I was just about to suggest you dye it again LOL
Great idea about the knitting- good luck!

Lol it's not a great coverage, you can see my natural highlights ( grey ) but it has given it a lovely shine and taken the gone to seed look of it. I think as you get older you have to make some effort otherwise you look as if you have given up.

[Fethenwen]

Sounds familiar :D I would blame it on this forum, that's what happened to me when I first joined. But I don't obsess that much with my hair anymore, after a while I calmed down a bit and let my hair just grow on it's own. It won't grow any faster by obsessing over it :)

Especially these last few weeks, very low maintenance water only washes and some shampooing in between, I haven't done any deep treatments either because washing it less often makes it soft, so it doesn't need that much pampering besides brushing.

[kitcatsmeow]

I agree with keeping it up all the time. I was thefsame way with mine until I found my perfect products and perfect routine. I now only wash it onc every 4-6 days and it's in a top knot 90% of the time. I learned how to straighten and dry it without heat. It did take some time to find the best products for my hair so perhaps when you are satisfied with your care and routine you'll be able to stop obsessing. Also having a new boyfriend takes up a lot of my time lol....

[fungo]

Sounds familiar :D I would blame it on this forum, that's what happened to me when I first joined. But I don't obsess that much with my hair anymore, after a while I calmed down a bit and let my hair just grow on it's own. It won't grow any faster by obsessing over it :)

Especially these last few weeks, very low maintenance water only washes and some shampooing in between, I haven't done any deep treatments either because washing it less often makes it soft, so it doesn't need that much pampering besides brushing.

I have signed for the Year without Trims thread so that should keep me away from the scissors. I am really pleased with my deposit only colour, it only lasts a month so I need to cut back on washing my hair. Going to try once a week and maybe water only to try and make the colour last.

[Mommyof4]

I do that when I'm stressed or depressed! I practically torture my hair, or by extensions I'll never use.. It's like I take out my problems on my hair.. Sad.

[fungo]

Sounds familiar :D I would blame it on this forum, that's what happened to me when I first joined. But I don't obsess that much with my hair anymore, after a while I calmed down a bit and let my hair just grow on it's own. It won't grow any faster by obsessing over it :)


It feels like the opposite now, after seeing everyone's gorgeous hair pics I just want mine to be healthy and grow. Instead of wanting to do things to my hair I just want to post on here and talk to long haired people :)

[Ambystoma]

I feel the same way :) A couple of years ago I grew out my natural hair color and realized that I was really missing that monthly ritual of doing something for myself. Maybe you could try some deep-conditioning treatments instead. Applying a deep conditioner is similar enough to the movements of applying hair dye to soothe your muscle memory (especially if you mix it up in a color bottle), it sits on your hair for about the same length of time, and your hair looks fresh and pretty when you wash it out. I've gone back to coloring my hair since I'm more of a raven-haired girl at heart than a blonette, but I still enjoy finding recipes to make my own hair treatments.

It's strange isn't it? I sometimes miss having dyed hair too (I used to do it a very dark brown) and I find myself always looking at the colour since not only does it change so much depending on the light but it's different at the ends than the roots (thank you Aussie sunshine :laugh:) and I'm always wondering what colour it really *is*. I mean, I know it's various shades of dark auburn, but there was something really nice about having it all the same,all the time :shrug:.

[fungo]

Tried my Herbal Tea wash today. I steeped 3 black tea and 3 green tea with assorted Xmas herbs and spices in a litre of hot water for 20 mins. I even bought myself a plastic jug and basin just or my hair. I poured the tea mix over dry hair slowly, catching the drips in the basin. I face my hair and scalp a good scrub an massage, poured the mix over again and let it drip ( in the bath ) for 15 mins. Gave it another massage and rinsed with warm water. It smelt nice, very cinnamony. It's drying naturally at the minute so it will be a while before I see the results.