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View Full Version : Rethinking why I am doing this



HennaDancer
March 9th, 2013, 10:47 PM
So I've had long hair since I was a teen (now 39) and I've always loved it. It's spine length now, gently wavy, and hennaed dark auburn. Lately, I've been itching for a change. I tried lightening it with honey and no real effect happened. I considered going indigo and seeing what I looked like all goth. I took the challenge and wore it up every day for a month, and realized at the end of the month that it was just plain annoying to have to put it up every day. And yet, when I think about doing anything, like a perm or something, that might make it a little different or result in shorter hair, I back away.
Why?
What's the point in cultivating something just to hide it in a bun or pull it back in a a ponytail so I'm not constantly eating it when I'm outdoors? I left it mostly down today for the first time in a month, and wow, it gets under my arms and pulls, and I have to rearrange it when I sit against a chair, and I've got a headband on and it's still in my face. I need some help, or suggestions on how to refresh my look, or something. I guess I just want some input on why you all grow yours.
Thanks,
HennaDancer

Mommyof4
March 9th, 2013, 10:52 PM
Have you tried looking on Pinterest for hair inspiration? Maybe you just need to refresh on why you wanted it long.. Or maybe take a few inches off if you want.

woolyleprechaun
March 10th, 2013, 12:47 AM
I'm sorry to sound unhelpful, but what is 'spine length' to you? It may help people make suggestions is we knew your specific length.
Everyone gets fed up sometimes, its natural. Here are my suggestions to-
1) get yourself a new outfit. It helps detract form the 'I want to look different' urge.
2) take up a new hobby to take your mind off it
3) Buy some lovely new hairsticks ;)
4) Look at all the amazing tutorials on youtube, recreate them and feel proud :D
5) Treat yourself to your fave intensive treatment
6) Get a trim of an inch or so, leave it a couple of weeks and then....(last resort)
7) If you still hate it, get some more cut off. I recomend cutting in increments with a fortnight (at least) between, so theres no regrets.

Mommyof4
March 10th, 2013, 12:57 AM
Yep.. I second everything in her post ^^^ :D

alyaziaaah
March 10th, 2013, 01:10 AM
the problem is if you cut it off its gone and it takes ages to grow back.
everytime i cut, even if it is only one strand of fringe, a tiny little strand, i regret it later.
imho, long hair is like jewellery, if it falls in your face, you swipe it back with pleasure,
you show it off as it swishes around your body, you put hairsticks just to take them out and
let your glorious mane fall silky around your shoulders, body.
you cant do that with shorter hair.
so, my point is, if you need, trim, change your hemline, to a V? to a U?
but think very long before you do a major change in length.
i second buying new hairtoys, or do half elven updos, with braids and ribbons, parandis, feather leather bands,
flower clips etc.
you can temporarily die your hair with a blue black non permanent dye, or try a dark cherry or purple colour?
or just dip your lenghth in black?
if you usually use only natural henna it wont be a problem using chemical dye on it.
dont use 2step henndigo though. it might be peeeeeeeermanent.
try all these supercool updos from Games of Thrones or Downton Abbey.
with shorter hair you cant do those and believe me, my hair is between apl and bls since long time now and
it is sooooooo boring as well. all i can do is a peacock twist, a simple bun, a simple half up with a claw clip,
or leave it open, and then it is in my face, caught in my bag shoulder strap etc.
i think longer hair would give me much more options to change my hair do from day to day.
cant wait to get to your length:blossom:

Mandie
March 10th, 2013, 01:13 AM
I enjoy doing a faux bob (low ponytail rolled up with a ribbon) to remind myself how much I love my hair long. If I find I love myself with the shorter hair more... well, it's time for a cut. I've done it before. Recently I did the bob and I didn't like it, so, bonus.

ravenreed
March 10th, 2013, 04:07 AM
When I want to show off my hair a bit but still have it contained, I do a comet bun.

didrash
March 10th, 2013, 04:35 AM
Just curious, what is the purpose of the paprika and turmeric in the henna mix? Does it affect the color of does it have other effects?

mrs_coffee
March 10th, 2013, 08:31 AM
Well, I'm going to be in the minority, but when I feel like chopping my hair I chop it. However, I am not attached to my hair and have always had the "It grows back," attitude. If you think you'd regret chopping, then don't.

neko_kawaii
March 10th, 2013, 08:48 AM
Why do I grow my hair?

Because I am curious how long it can get. I am not attached to my hair except at the scalp. I've had it every length and style between shaved and waist. Been there, done that. So, how long can it get? Can I learn to make those amazing braids and buns on myself?

I have never liked wearing my hair down. It gets in my face, it heats up my neck and I have to pay attention so it doesn't get snagged in things. That is way too much effort for me. Put it in a braid or up in a bun, wash it once a week and forget about it.

erialc
March 10th, 2013, 08:52 AM
Well, I'm going to be in the minority, but when I feel like chopping my hair I chop it. However, I am not attached to my hair and have always had the "It grows back," attitude. If you think you'd regret chopping, then don't.

I feel the same. I just don't see the point in keeping a hairstyle you're not satisfied with. It'll always grow back...

Nini
March 10th, 2013, 08:53 AM
I grew my hair because I've always wanted my braid long. The only times I wear it loose is while it's drying or if someone asks me to take it down.

So, it's either braided or up in a bun, and I'm quite happy with that:) Not helpful for you, but you did ask why people grow their hair long;)

Jenny31557
March 10th, 2013, 10:20 AM
Even if you cut your hair short it will still be in your face if you don't pin it out of the way. And you could just as easily pin your long hair away but with many more styling options. :) Although if you do decide to cut it, there are always extensions if you miss it from time to time but still enjoy it short. If I were you, and decided that I was definately going to go short, I would mess with it a lot! Curl it, straighten it, dye it every color and then just cut off all the damage! Lol
Good luck with whatever you choose!

jacqueline101
March 10th, 2013, 02:52 PM
I agree think about the lovely items you want to try and rewards. I'd go to YouTube and look for inspiration.

lapushka
March 10th, 2013, 03:08 PM
I feel the same. I just don't see the point in keeping a hairstyle you're not satisfied with. It'll always grow back...

I feel the same as well. If you do decide to cut, then just make sure to cut back in increments. Don't go for a huge chop, because you most likely will regret that.

akurah
March 10th, 2013, 03:15 PM
I feel the same as well. If you do decide to cut, then just make sure to cut back in increments. Don't go for a huge chop, because you most likely will regret that.

I concur with this, only because cutting it all in one fell swoop to, say, chin, might end up with you going, "Well, crap, I think I might have preferred shoulder."

jeanniet
March 10th, 2013, 04:07 PM
I wear my hair down around the house, but I dislike having it in my face at all, so most of the time it's up. This would be true if it were shorter, and at least longer I can use nice hair sticks. If you want to be able to have your hair down and styled, then a cut to about BSL might work better for you.

Naiadryade
March 10th, 2013, 04:23 PM
If I had never cut my hair to shoulder, then in increments up to earlobe length, I don't think I would have ever ended up at LHC and learned how to take better care of my hair. I probably wouldn't have the appreciation I do for long hair. I can't wait for my hair to get back to the length it was when I was a kid... but I really enjoyed all the lengths from earlobe down to shoulder. I was having a lot of fun with it, and I'm really glad I had that experience. Gradually, I started to feel not so much like myself. So I'm growing it out now.

Life is long. Don't be afraid to adventure--there will be time for other adventures later, too.

Islandgrrl
March 10th, 2013, 04:38 PM
So here's what I think. You need to love your hair. Temporary disillusionment with your hair, whatever the length, bears waiting out. It'll pass. But if you are truly unhappy with it, if it's not bringing you joy, then make a change. If that means cutting it, then cut it.

GrowingGlory
March 10th, 2013, 04:49 PM
If you are not happy with your hair, feel free to change it.

kpzra
March 11th, 2013, 01:51 AM
When I get to the point you are I usually cut it or just braid the front parts to get it out of my way. Growing up my hair was always waist length, as an adult it's been as short as 2 inches (not on purpose hair stylist sneezed as she was cutting) to everything down to waist again. If you have felt like this for awhile, Id try some of the "faux bob" styles before a big chop, otherwise I'd go slow since you have had it that long, for so long. A huge cut can be shocking, my biggest one was when I had over two feet of hair cut in one swoop. I felt naked.

That being said, it is your head and body and you have to live with them, not us. Do what you want and what feels good to you.

kidari
March 11th, 2013, 02:45 AM
the problem is if you cut it off its gone and it takes ages to grow back.
everytime i cut, even if it is only one strand of fringe, a tiny little strand, i regret it later.
imho, long hair is like jewellery, if it falls in your face, you swipe it back with pleasure,
you show it off as it swishes around your body, you put hairsticks just to take them out and
let your glorious mane fall silky around your shoulders, body.
you cant do that with shorter hair.
so, my point is, if you need, trim, change your hemline, to a V? to a U?
but think very long before you do a major change in length.
i second buying new hairtoys, or do half elven updos, with braids and ribbons, parandis, feather leather bands,
flower clips etc.
you can temporarily die your hair with a blue black non permanent dye, or try a dark cherry or purple colour?
or just dip your lenghth in black?
if you usually use only natural henna it wont be a problem using chemical dye on it.
dont use 2step henndigo though. it might be peeeeeeeermanent.
try all these supercool updos from Games of Thrones or Downton Abbey.
with shorter hair you cant do those and believe me, my hair is between apl and bls since long time now and
it is sooooooo boring as well. all i can do is a peacock twist, a simple bun, a simple half up with a claw clip,
or leave it open, and then it is in my face, caught in my bag shoulder strap etc.
i think longer hair would give me much more options to change my hair do from day to day.
cant wait to get to your length:blossom:

I love the part bout feeling your hair around your body. I haven't had waist length hair in forever and for the past 3 years it's always been up or curled really tightly (heat-free curls and my natural hair is straight). Lately I've been wearing it down more and keeping it straight and the way it feels on my arms and back is amazing. I understand what you are going through, my suggestion would be to do a treatment and a small trim for now. Do something different to it that doesn't involve chopping or a huge commitment. The easiest thing is changing the texture- tight ringlets, soft waves, beachy waves, braid waves, straight, etc. You can tint it darker or more red, depending but be aware that even dyes that are supposed to wash out may not ever completely go away. From there you can try soft face framing layers, bangs, or alter your hemline... I realized that I like wearing my hair down so I don't think I may ever make it to tailbone length, since I don't want to worry too much about caring for it or stressing about damage. MBL with layers is the perfect compromise to me, but everyone is different. At the end of the day you should do what makes you happy, just be sure you don't make any rash decisions and regret it later.

4C4rly4
March 11th, 2013, 02:57 AM
I'm growing mine because I've never had hair longer than my waist so I want to see how I'll look and feel with classic length hair. :]

However, in December I chopped all my hair off to chin length, and that's because it was all damaged and unmanageable. As much as I wanted long hair, once I cut all of mine off, I realized how much of a burden my damaged hair had been to me. I realized that I prefer shorter, healthier hair to longer, damaged hair. And I'm glad I cut it! Yes, it will take me twice as long to grow it, but I'm actually happy with my hair now. - My point is, if you've realized that your hair is a burden to you, then cut it! You grew it out, you saw how it looks, you enjoyed your long hair for a long while, but maybe it's time to cut it now, because from what I read in your post, you don't seem to be enjoying your hair anymore. But anyway, I don't want to be pressuring you. It was just a suggestion. Do what you feel is best! :)