Hair dysmorphia?

[nikkidondon]

Hi guys okay this is kind of a place to vent for me and for anyone else who wants to haha
I feel like I have a problem at this point where I feel like my hair is soo short and though it is waist length and 4 inches from hip, I still feel like it's not growing, will never grow to the point where I want to be and is just ugly when it's up and ugly when it's down.:( It doesn't cooperate for me no matter what hair product I use it either turns out greasy or dry, and I have layers starting at the bottom of my neck so I have major bushiness when I wear it in it's natural state...sorry I'm just so frustrated!! ahh

Thanks :]

[Kaelee]

I kind of know the feeling. I just feel like my natural color is "wrong"...I always have. I've been dying it red for years. I'm supposed to be a redhead darnit! lol

[nikkidondon]

I know how you feel!I am the classic impulsive chopper and since joining this forum it has been a major source of support to not impulse dye and chop...I am just soo impatient and at the length of waist it literally feels like it's never going to get to hip

[hafattack]

what is it about waist? I feel like i have challenges of a longhair, but none of the glory!

[akilina]

I think you should just wear it up and try to not pay too much attention to it for at least 6 months. That should be a good 3 inches of growth or more. Benign neglect.

I think its also great that you have already made it this far! If you ever have the impulse to chop..Just remember it will make you that much further away.

[nikkidondon]

I know how you feel. My hair gets tangled, knotty, greasy, split and rubs up against my clothing (gets in my mouth and all over) but wearing it down is frustrating for me because it's not where I would like it to be..AH

[nikkidondon]

I think you should just wear it up and try to not pay too much attention to it for at least 6 months. That should be a good 3 inches of growth or more. Benign neglect.

I think its also great that you have already made it this far! If you ever have the impulse to chop..Just remember it will make you that much further away.

Thanks I think I'll probably do that...it's just like I'm in a school where EVERYONE wears their hair down all the time so I think I kind of give in to the pressures of always making sure my hair looks it's "best."

[maborosi]

I wear my hair up constantly so that way when I let it down, I feel like it grew a bunch! :D

I know that feeling...maybe you'd feel more okay with wearing your hair up more if you had some really nice hairtoys to use?

~maborosi~

[nikkidondon]

I wear my hair up constantly so that way when I let it down, I feel like it grew a bunch! :D

I know that feeling...maybe you'd feel more okay with wearing your hair up more if you had some really nice hairtoys to use?

~maborosi~

That's a great idea!! Thanks so much:]

[akilina]

It is very hard. I am trying also... I love wearing it down plain and simple. Its not the worst thing to do to it....but still, it makes you obsess more because you see it all the time.
My best thing is just have hair toys you really like, so you are excited to wear them.

[Sharysa]

Major empathy. I am highly suspect that my hair's going to be in its awkward-stage until I get to waist-length.

[FireFromWithin]

I find tha other people think my hair is long but I feel it's too short. I just cut a couple of inches of to improve the ends and it's back above waist. It feels like it will be stuck here forever. I think the problem is that from the front there isn't much difference between BSL and WL so it feels like it hasn't grown in at all, even though the measurements say otherwise. I'm hoping that when I get to hip (a year if I don't keep cutting) it will actually start to feel long.
I second the hair toy idea. Realising that you can finally do a new bun is very exciting, and at WL the buns became easier for me, they had enough length that I wasn't struggling and having to pull it too tight.

[katiebeans]

I know how you feel! For years (at least 5) I was so fed up with my limp, fine hair and was having short layers cut (beginning at the top of my ears) on my APL-BSL hair. This way I was able to play with it and tease it and I thought my hair looked so much better, though I was never completely happy. I look at photos from those times and it did look good, but growing those layers out have sucked!

I second what has already been said- try wearing it up more often. I used to always be able to see something wrong with my hair. I started wearing it up more often, that way when I wore it down, it looked that much prettier!

[browneyedsusan]

I kind of know the feeling. I just feel like my natural color is "wrong"...I always have. I've been dying it red for years. I'm supposed to be a redhead darnit! lol

me too! (10 characters)

[longNred]

I'm right there w/ ya too. i'm in the "waist void". Just the other day I had it in a dutch braid w/ a paranda (as it was ridiculously windy here) and a friend said "oh wow, your hair is SO long!" and I replied "it's getting there". I'm trying to do the same, wear it up & forget about it!

[jacqueline101]

We all have awkward stages in hair growth. Mine gets under my arm pits and in my bra band when I put ony sports bra.

[jojo]

I suffer with this too, will i ever feel long? Im hip btw! Its staying up!

[ravenreed]

Yeah, every time my roots grow out I look and think, "Where did that come from?" It doesn't help that now it has grey streaks as well!


I kind of know the feeling. I just feel like my natural color is "wrong"...I always have. I've been dying it red for years. I'm supposed to be a redhead darnit! lol

[Iolanthe13]

I can relate to this. I don't think about my henna colour that much until the roots start coming in, but I know it would be disconcerting to see my natural colour in the mirror! And it still feels really short at waist.

Part of it is that what I thought was waist is actually hip, more or less. So of course waist feels shorter than I expected. I'm scared that I'll hit hip and not be satisfied though...

[Cania]

I know the feeling :( Hip length, and it still doesn't feel "long"!
My ends started getting so dry past waist, too... and it feels flat :(

[Vrindi]

This isn't a complaint, just an observation. Before I had long hair, I considered waist-length hair really long. When I got to waist (for the 2nd time) it felt long. Now it's at my hips, and I swear, the longer it gets, the less "long" it feels! I really believe it's because, for me, my hair is SO MUCH easier to deal with when it's long. It really doesn't get in my way that much, even when it's down. When it's above waist, it's always getting shut in things, trapped under things, and in my face. Now that's it's actually long, it feels the way people claim short hair is supposed to feel— like I just don't have to think about it much. Also, I'm so used to seeing it now. I think because of that, it feels less shocking, the way long hair always looked to me before when it was on other people (I mean shocking in a good way, an "I want that!" way.)

[moxamoll]

I find tha other people think my hair is long but I feel it's too short. I just cut a couple of inches of to improve the ends and it's back above waist. It feels like it will be stuck here forever. I think the problem is that from the front there isn't much difference between BSL and WL so it feels like it hasn't grown in at all, even though the measurements say otherwise. I'm hoping that when I get to hip (a year if I don't keep cutting) it will actually start to feel long.

I completely agree with this. I just passed waist length but it really doesn't feel or look any different. From the front, it doesn't stand out as "long" hair! I'm just using my toys and trying out braids and generally trying to enjoy it as it is. C'mon hip and tailbone!!!

[mzBANGBANG]

I'm someone with a distorted body image and totally believe I will never be convinced my hair is long enough. It's Mbl now so that's kind of a frustrating in between stage on this forum, but in society, is probably considered perfectly long.

[Ambystoma]

what is it about waist? I feel like i have challenges of a longhair, but none of the glory!

Ha ha I love this observation! Waist is proving kind of awkward for me too, it's in everything, everywhere (I think I'd wear it up 99% of the time even if I wasn't trying to be kind to it just because it has a mind of it's own right now) but I'm glad that the consensus seems to be once it gets longer it starts behaving again, I guess in part because of the extra weight.

The thing that's really annoying right now is that it's an inch past waist and still only looks MBL unless I straighten it with a flatiron, and I'm only a 2a/b! I thought a while ago that once I got to hip it would "look" a proper, solid waist in a combed out version of it's natural state, but that's only 3 inches away, so I guess I might need to be near TB wet for that to happen :crazyq:.

[rowie]

I know the feeling :( Hip length, and it still doesn't feel "long"!
My ends started getting so dry past waist, too... and it feels flat :(

wow this scares me. I guess i'll always feel like a short haired person until I reach classic length. ughhhhhh :(

[akilina]

Reading these replies makes me worry that I won't even think waist is long enough.

In the past, I would be happy with BSL. Only because I have never reached it yet... I am almost worried I won't even be happy until at least hip or TB (which is my hair limit..Don't want an longer.)

[Syaoransbear]

Thickness might have something to do with it. If your last 6 inches are pretty thin, it probably feels like that hair isn't even there. I'm almost at my goal and my hair doesn't feel very long, but when I put in clip-in extensions that are the same length as my hair just to thicken up my ends then it feels long even though it's actually the same length.

[Sharysa]

My ends started getting so dry past waist, too... and it feels flat :(

Have you tried oiling the length? It's helped a LOT with my dryness, and my waves are more defined now.

[Mandie]

I've hit waist for the first time in my life and I feel like my hair might as well be shoulder length. It just doesn't seem 'long.' I want to get to the length where people pause and go 'wow, your hair is so long!' Which so far isn't waist for me.

[SimplySmile]

This is so real for me right now..

I was at TBL and thought that my hair was not growing but looking back at photos and videos it was growing.. It is so strange how we can convince ourselves it is not growing and that it is so short..

When I first did my big chop I felt so bald. Some of my co workers asked me recently if I liked it still. I said it is so short and that I missed my long hair. They laughed and said it is still super long. But to me BSL might as well have been shoulder length because that it how it feels.

I am trying to wear my hair up and utilize the whole benign neglect. I figure the less it is down the less I will obsess over it.. right? :rolleyes: Wishful thinking I know.. It is nice to know that there are people out there who understand where I am coming from. I feel like non-LHC members just don't get it.

[Sarnie]

I have been dealing with this since April last year when I chopped off 15 inches of my hair because the ends were dry and the top was flat and I decided it would be a good idea to start out fresh. I completely regret it. My hair has been incredibly awkward for a year now. I miss my length!

[lapushka]

I have been dealing with this since April last year when I chopped off 15 inches of my hair because the ends were dry and the top was flat and I decided it would be a good idea to start out fresh. I completely regret it. My hair has been incredibly awkward for a year now. I miss my length!

What length are you at right now? 23 inches... or cm, is kind of hard to gauge (also depends on how you measure).

[SimplySmile]

Wow, It sounds like we are in the same boat!! Just know that you are not alone. :beerchug: The best advice I have picked up from being on here is benign neglect. I have been wearing my hair in a bun everyday so I don't fixate on the length. I don't completely ignore my hair though, I still do one to two deep conditioning treatments a week to try to promote faster hair growth. I also have started doing the inversion method - I am unsure if it has been scientifically proven to help but I have nothing to loose. Good luck, this feeling will pass and before we know it we will have our length back!

P.s. - One thing that has helped me is to come up with a list and guess-timate when you think you will hit certain markers - I.e. Waist , Hip or Classic even (I did this all the way to knee length - August 2024 for me). This is helping me because if I am miserable in the moment I just look at the list and think "Okay so by my birthday or by this month I will have this length hair." It helps me get past the present moment and have hope for the future.


I have been dealing with this since April last year when I chopped off 15 inches of my hair because the ends were dry and the top was flat and I decided it would be a good idea to start out fresh. I completely regret it. My hair has been incredibly awkward for a year now. I miss my length!

[GrowinIt]

Wow, It sounds like we are in the same boat!! Just know that you are not alone. :beerchug: The best advice I have picked up from being on here is benign neglect. I have been wearing my hair in a bun everyday so I don't fixate on the length. I don't completely ignore my hair though, I still do one to two deep conditioning treatments a week to try to promote faster hair growth. I also have started doing the inversion method - I am unsure if it has been scientifically proven to help but I have nothing to loose. Good luck, this feeling will pass and before we know it we will have our length back!

P.s. - One thing that has helped me is to come up with a list and guess-timate when you think you will hit certain markers - I.e. Waist , Hip or Classic even (I did this all the way to knee length - August 2024 for me). This is helping me because if I am miserable in the moment I just look at the list and think "Okay so by my birthday or by this month I will have this length hair." It helps me get past the present moment and have hope for the future.

I like the idea of wearing it in a bun everyday , or at least a pony tail. My hair issues come with seeing the back or even the front parts hanging over my shoulders and thinking something looks uneven, which is an issue for wavy hair, things will not always match up if one side curls under and one side is more straight for example. I think this will be less of an issue once it gets longer.