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mermaid-nina
February 15th, 2013, 11:16 AM
DD1 (age 9) decided a few weeks ago that she wants her hair cut. I managed to persuade her then to just cut a couple of inches off, and if she was happy with it and still wanted to, then we could take off a bit more. I thought I had got away with it, until today she declared that she wanted the rest off. Her hair was almost classic, in it's naturally curly state. She wanted it cut to "long" bsl.

I tried to get away with just cutting off 3 inches. She wanted more off. Another 3. Still not where she wanted it. I gave up at this point and just cut it to where she was pointing to, which has totalled a foot off. I know it's her hair and she has to be happy with it, but I feel quite sad about it, it was such beautiful, healthy hair, and has always drawn compliments from strangers. I do wonder if that may be some of the reason she wanted it cut though - so she isn't defined by her hair any more. It is still long by normal standards.

Does anybody else feel like this about their children's hair?

samanthaj08
February 15th, 2013, 11:20 AM
DD1 (age 9) decided a few weeks ago that she wants her hair cut. I managed to persuade her then to just cut a couple of inches off, and if she was happy with it and still wanted to, then we could take off a bit more. I thought I had got away with it, until today she declared that she wanted the rest off. Her hair was almost classic, in it's naturally curly state. She wanted it cut to "long" bsl.

I tried to get away with just cutting off 3 inches. She wanted more off. Another 3. Still not where she wanted it. I gave up at this point and just cut it to where she was pointing to, which has totalled a foot off. I know it's her hair and she has to be happy with it, but I feel quite sad about it, it was such beautiful, healthy hair, and has always drawn compliments from strangers. I do wonder if that may be some of the reason she wanted it cut though - so she isn't defined by her hair any more. It is still long by normal standards.

Does anybody else feel like this about their children's hair?

I don't have any kids, but when I was in kindergarten I had classic hair.. complete with banana curls. Strangers would come up touching my hair all the time and talking to my mom. She was paranoid and thought I was going to get kidnapped so she chopped it to shoulder :'(

wendylai
February 15th, 2013, 11:22 AM
She is a child. They love to try new things, it's natural and heathly devenlopment I think that she wants to try new things and that you let her.

However I would be a bit wary of if she was really determined. classic is unusual lenght for children and kinds love to bully others that are diffrent. Maybe be there was a kid at school who was jealous of her hair and made fun of it? Just saying.. I've heard that sometimes happens with grown-ups ;)

She's a kid she can always grow it back, have fun stylin with her!

leslissocool
February 15th, 2013, 11:28 AM
Not really there yet, my kid likes long hair and it was me who cut it because it was getting too tangled and she would cry every time it got brushed. S I cut it back to close to shoulder and she asked me to fix her hair back to long. I was devastated but she's now happier while brushing. I think it was the fact that her baby hair was still there and wit was getting mixed with her coarse hair. Her hair doesn't tangle as much and she lets me touch it now to put up. I cut like 6 inches off, she's 3.

I think it's its great you are listening to your dd though, I had my hair cut against my will to pixie and it was traumatizing. I think that she's onl enough to understand how to care for it and its still pretty long.

mermaid-nina
February 15th, 2013, 11:34 AM
Aw Samantha that's sad :(

I know she has been picked on for her hair in the past, but I don't think it's the issue now. She's never been particularly upset about anything people have said, she's just told me about it as a matter of fact. There have def been girls in her class jealous of her hair, and her looks in general - on the whole, her classmates are tall, blonde and bonny, and I think only 2 have got hair past shoulder length. She is very petite and olive skinned, so even without her hair length she stands out.

She does seem very happy with it, and I think the determination was more aimed at me - she's been the same over clothes, not in a nasty way, just firmly and politely informed me that she has her own style, and would like to change what I have bought her for something more "her". I do wonder if it's related to a 3 night school trip they have next month, as she struggles to manage her hair by herself. But as you say, it will grow back! :)

lesliscool, I have been close to that before with her hair. It's hard when they're so little. Bless them, neither of my daughter's (or me!) have had much hair until 3-4ish, then it grows like a weed past that age.

neko_kawaii
February 15th, 2013, 11:41 AM
Good for you for letting her make her own choices about her hair and clothes!

woolyleprechaun
February 15th, 2013, 11:45 AM
:( A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do..... I'm not there yet myself (DDs are 2 and 3) but when I was around your daughters age, I had a very big chop too. You never know, she may want to grow it back eventually :)

leslissocool
February 15th, 2013, 11:46 AM
lesliscool, I have been close to that before with her hair. It's hard when they're so little. Bless them, neither of my daughter's (or me!) have had much hair until 3-4ish, then it grows like a weed past that age.

My girl's hair grows. I cut a total of 16 inches already (to shoulder or BSL) in the past 2 years. But if you see one of her hairs you see the baby hair (super fine and soft) in the end and the new growth is darker and coarser like my hair. I've tried oils and putting it up it didn't work until I cut it. Now it seems like its growing straight and coarse along with it changing color.. Her twin brother's hair doesn't grow much and it doesn't tangle.


I think she's just trying to find herself, I'm glad she's happy and sh didn't get bullied into it. She sounds like a gorgeous girl!!!

jacqueline101
February 15th, 2013, 11:51 AM
I don't have any children but changes are heathy for a child. She will someday decide to grow her hair long again.

karli
February 15th, 2013, 01:51 PM
I felt sad when cutting my daughters hair from knee to hip.. But it's a growing up thingy, they have to be able to decide things like that for themselves.. I like long hair now, she has to find out for her self.. At age 12, she just had it cut to around apl.. She's still the prettiest in the world tho :)

ladyfey
February 15th, 2013, 02:10 PM
My 4 year old daughter also just got cut from waist to apl at her request. i wasn't thrilled, but it is important to me that it is the way she wants it. On the plus side, it is much easier to comb now!

lilliemer
February 15th, 2013, 07:51 PM
i don't have kids, but i would be sad to see hair like that cut too. however, it's good that you allowed her to make her own hair choices. i was never allowed to have long hair as a kid (pageboy and bangs all the way) and i'm still bitter about it. it was always a huge source of conflict between me and my mother. part of it is that my mother still thinks she has the right to tell me exactly how to wear my hair (pageboy and bangs)...and i'm 30+

akilina
February 15th, 2013, 08:12 PM
Every time I had to chop a cute little girls beautiful amazing hair off I wanted to die a little bit :p
It was what they wanted though!

When I was 6 years old I got my first bob ever and it was the most amazing thing in the world. I felt so awesome! I was skipping down the street with my mom flipping it up in the air :o

I understand your thoughts totally! At least she loves it though. That is the best part.

GrowingGlory
February 15th, 2013, 08:16 PM
I'd be grieving it, too. It's good that you respect her autonomy. I think that she will grow it out again in time.

mermaid-nina
February 16th, 2013, 02:37 AM
Thank you all :) She has woken up today still very happy with it, which is all that matters. Somehow she looks younger, I thought she wold look older!!

spidermom
February 16th, 2013, 09:13 AM
I know what you mean. My daughter's hair was about tailbone length and beautiful, but she started talking about how much she liked cute, bouncy ponytails. Then one weekend she went away for a slumber party and came back with choppy shoulder-length hair (the other girls cut it). Ouch! But she was sooooooooooo happy with it.

samanthaj08
February 16th, 2013, 02:05 PM
I know what you mean. My daughter's hair was about tailbone length and beautiful, but she started talking about how much she liked cute, bouncy ponytails. Then one weekend she went away for a slumber party and came back with choppy shoulder-length hair (the other girls cut it). Ouch! But she was sooooooooooo happy with it.

I think I would die if I were you. At least she was happy though :)

lapushka
February 16th, 2013, 06:10 PM
I totally get where your DD is coming from. When I was 10/11 years old, I went through the same thing, only I went from classic to pageboy length, and regretted it the next day. There's nothing to panic about, she didn't go all drastic on you. It could have been much worse. As long as she's happy with it, that's really the only thing that counts. From this point she's only going to grow older, and as she grows older, she will make more and more decisions independently of what you'd like to see happen.

Micayla47
February 16th, 2013, 06:26 PM
i agree with everyone that it's good to let your daughter make decisions about her own body, but on the other hand, it's ok for you to have your feelings about it. i know it's hair and it will grow back, but i cringed as i was reading your original post.

mermaid-nina
February 20th, 2013, 02:48 PM
Aw thanks Micayla. Spidermom, I would have been less than impressed with that!

sidenote - I have just realised I mistyped "grieving" - I can spell lol just not type :)

maborosi
February 20th, 2013, 03:42 PM
Sometimes kids like to be able to decide these things for themselves. When I was younger, I didn't like it when my mom decided for me how I would wear my hair. I liked it when she gave me a choice in how I wore it- sometimes, I wanted it long, othertimes, I wanted it short.

I think she'll look back and be happy you let her make her own decision. Who knows- maybe she'll decide to grow long again?

~maborosi~

spidermom
February 20th, 2013, 04:04 PM
I've been grieving my granddaughter's long hair, too. For the last few years, she would say that she wanted long hair just like grandma :cool: This past fall she showed up with it hacked off at shoulder length. I was so shocked! I asked her if she missed her long hair, and she said "not at all!" :(

embee
February 20th, 2013, 04:51 PM
*My* DD didn't say anything about her hair when she was young, she just chopped the front of it off one day. Yikes. There was no fixing that. Eventually I convinced her to get a pixie because really, it was rather horrible otherwise. I myself cut bangs when I was young....

I hope you have some wonderful photographs of her beautiful long hair. Those are for you to treasure.

You probably did the right thing. Hair length is not worth getting into a knock-down-drag-out fight over. :)

Angel Barchild
February 20th, 2013, 05:14 PM
I'm sorry you're sad, here have a pic of Vlad to make you happy. http://i45.tinypic.com/2qncxtd.jpg

Found this on my camera today lol.

maborosi
February 20th, 2013, 07:43 PM
I'm sorry you're sad, here have a pic of Vlad to make you happy. http://i45.tinypic.com/2qncxtd.jpg

Found this on my camera today lol.

Okay, that is just way too cute!!

And embee- lol! Every single person in my family (including my mom and dad) have that legendary hair-cutting horror-story. When we were little, we all played barber shop on ourselves and wound up with some...uh...interesting hairstyles, to say the least.

At least being a tiny little kid ensures your hair will (appear to) grow faster. Mistakes seem to correct themselves quickly, and hair cutting decisions can easily be grown out.

~maborosi~