PDA

View Full Version : Getting through this funky inbetween stage



shutterpillar
January 30th, 2013, 06:28 PM
I have no idea what to do with myself at this point. :justy: Perhaps I am just over-thinking it, but my hair is driving me crazy. It probably doesn't look that bad to the general public, but i'm sure some of you can sympathize.
It is at this weird inbetween stage and I don't really know what I should do with it. I am in the MBL abyss and generally cut off around 1/2 inch every 2-3 months in my efforts to get rid of my layers. I have been doing this since I joined here last April, and have probably snipped away about 2-3 inches over the course of that period.

ANYWAY

I am at this awkward stage where I have about 2 or 3 inches of layers left... they are my last couple of layers before they would be completely gone and I would be done with them forever.
Now, my dilemma is this. Those same 2 or 3 inches of my ends are damaged from too much heat usage from times before I decided to take care of my hair the right way. They have white spots and are not quite as soft as the rest of my hair, and are a tiny bit scraggly looking, but nothing too bad. Very few actual split ends. I keep going back and forth between just cutting it off now and being done with it (which would put me back at the very top of my bra strap) or continuing to grow and see how much length I get before my 1 year anniversary here in April, then cutting the remaining layers and heat damage away. I am going to assume after the cut, the length would be right around the bottom of my bra strap if it continues to grow like it has done in the past.

All that to say, I know the better choice is to probably just wait it out, wear it up a lot for now, and give it a good cut in three months (after I take my anniversary length photo, of course :D) but it's just bothering me... the awkwardness of it all. lol. Those last couple of inches are thinner than the rest of my hair because of the layers and its just.... :justy:

I just had to rant somewhere. I've ranted to my husband about it, and he understands. He is very helpful and understanding in my goal to grow to hip length, but I think he's about done hearing about it for right now. LOL.

Thanks for the place to rant. :blossom:

akilina
January 30th, 2013, 07:34 PM
I can definitely sympathize with being frustrated with hair, no matter what the problem is.

I rant to my bf sometimes but there is only so much a guy can take :p I am going against the grain and saying that if it were me personally...Id just get rid of the 2 inches at least. Or maybe just one inch. I cant wait to be at the stage you are though- just a few inches of layers left! I have 4 or 5 inches left unfortunately.

ghost
January 30th, 2013, 07:44 PM
If the ends of your hair are thinner just because you're growing out layers, and you don't have many split ends, maybe try to do some moisture treatments to help get your ends softer and wait out your LHC anniversary?
At the very least, do the whole "wait two weeks" thing if you're not sure yet whether you want to trim or not. If you still feel like you want/need a trim, you could start by taking off an inch and seeing if you still want to take more off.

biogirl87
January 30th, 2013, 07:46 PM
Shutterpillar, I definitely know how hard it can be to decide between keeping the length and getting rid of layers. At the end of last year, I knew my hair needed a trim and that I wanted to get rid of my layers eventually but I wasn't too sure about getting them cut off all at once as my hair has just gotten about the longest it's ever been in my life. So, I would say that when you go for a trim get as much cut off as you would feel comfortable with. Also, really good hair stylists who understand a woman's desire to grow out their hair tend to have good judgment on how much to cut and it might turn out to be less than what you thought you needed to get trimmed (it certainly was in my case). Hope this helps.

door72067
January 30th, 2013, 07:47 PM
wear it up and ignore it for now :)

jacqueline101
January 30th, 2013, 09:32 PM
I understand I want my hair to be MLB so badly I can't stand it. I do believe in benign neglect.

jeanniet
January 30th, 2013, 10:43 PM
Personally, if it were me I'd just bite the bullet and cut the full 3" to get rid of the layers and ends. I've been there, and waiting for those last layers to grow out is maddening. If I had it to do again, I'd just do the cut and live with the shorter hair. In six months you'd have the length back again anyway, and if it's going to take another six months to grow out the layers, would you rather do the six months with a solid hemline, or with the layers and damage that are driving you nuts now?

jennafrogg
January 30th, 2013, 11:31 PM
I'm only 9 months into growing out a pixie, so I am ALL layers right now. I can sympathize with needing to vent to someone other than your husband. My husband has told me that I am no longer allowed to cut my hair into a pixie ever again because I've been complaining so much!

Kaelee
January 31st, 2013, 12:08 AM
If it were me I would just cut it now and be done with it. I'd rather have hair that I ENJOY rather than longer hair right now. If I'm not enjoying my hemline and a cut will fix that, I'd go for the cut, rather than several months of hair that I don't like, yanno?

Ocelan
January 31st, 2013, 02:13 AM
I'm in a similar kind of boat as you.

I have layers that I want to get rid of and like yours, the very ends of mine aren't at their best either. I have only recently started micro-trimming off my layers by maintaining at hip length, which is my mini goal before attempting to grow to TBL once my layers are gone. I started trimming off the layers after I hit hip in November since I couldn't stand having any shorter hair than this anymore.

Surely I could cut off all the layers at once but I have atleast 4 inches of layers left, probably even more if you count the face framing layers on the sides. The cut would take me to BSL or MBL and now that I've taken a year to grow from BSL to hip I don't want to be back there again. There is maybe 2-3 inches of the worst layers which are dry and my hair at that point starts to be very tapered so I will atleast maintain at this length until I get rid of those. It takes lots of patience and self-control, but this is my way. I'll just think that after half a year, everything will be much better. :)

So I know your pain and I wish you a good hair journey. It's good to be able to rant to someone now and then. My DBF is already annoyed enough from me taking so much time to do my hair when I'm trying out hairdos that I don't even dare rant to him about my hair being too short or layered. :P

veyron
January 31st, 2013, 03:00 AM
3 inches isn't too much. I'd snip it off because I'm paranoid about split ends travelling their way up and destroying more length than 3 months would give me.

Have you decided on what you're going to do? All the best either way!

shutterpillar
January 31st, 2013, 06:31 AM
I appreciate everyones kind words and sympathies. :) It's nice to have such a large community of people who are facing the same dilemmas, or are there to support you and help you through them. :blossom:
There are a few I wanted to quote though, because you brought up good points that I had forgotten to mention in my first post. I'll do page 1, and then get to page 2.


Also, really good hair stylists who understand a woman's desire to grow out their hair tend to have good judgment on how much to cut and it might turn out to be less than what you thought you needed to get trimmed (it certainly was in my case). Hope this helps.

Yes, I usually cut my hair myself, but was wondering if maybe I should go to a stylist since it is more than 1/2 inch. That is the most i've ever cut from my hair, and I certainly dont want to end up cutting more than I have to. Perhaps i'll do an inch at a time. :confused: decisions, decisions.
I was also looking at that hair cutting tool... the Creaclip I think it's called? Does anyone have any experience with that? It's very hard for me to trust my hair to a stranger. :undecided I wish I had akilina to go to! LOL.


Personally, if it were me I'd just bite the bullet and cut the full 3" to get rid of the layers and ends. I've been there, and waiting for those last layers to grow out is maddening. If I had it to do again, I'd just do the cut and live with the shorter hair. In six months you'd have the length back again anyway, and if it's going to take another six months to grow out the layers, would you rather do the six months with a solid hemline, or with the layers and damage that are driving you nuts now?

Thank you for your experience, jeanniet. You make a very good point about six months with a hemline I love, or six months with layers and damage.


I'm in a similar kind of boat as you.

So I know your pain and I wish you a good hair journey. It's good to be able to rant to someone now and then. My DBF is already annoyed enough from me taking so much time to do my hair when I'm trying out hairdos that I don't even dare rant to him about my hair being too short or layered. :P

Thank you for your story. :) That is why I am having such a hard time with this... this is the longest my hair has ever been, and it's hard for me to let the length go, even if it isn't the best length.

shutterpillar
January 31st, 2013, 06:33 AM
3 inches isn't too much. I'd snip it off because I'm paranoid about split ends travelling their way up and destroying more length than 3 months would give me.

Have you decided on what you're going to do? All the best either way!

I have not decided yet. I'll probably do as one member here mentioned and wait at least 2 weeks before I make any final decisions.

I do appreciate the experiences and advice I have received so far. :)

MORE
January 31st, 2013, 06:53 AM
I am in the exact same stage! I was really getting down about it, thinking rattyrattyratty while looking at my ends and wondering if people were thinking they maybe should donate money to me for a haircut...

I asked my boyfriend for his honest opinion about it and he had a totally unexpected answer, but it made me smile about it all! He said "Well, I think it would be bad to cut it. I mean - what if you cut it and then accidentally happen to set it on fire while leaning over a candle and burned of some of your braid off. Then you'd really wish you hadn't cut it!".

I thought, well... that's kind of a good way to see it.:smile: I should add that I've always been in odd accidents, so it has some sense to it, but there's always good to find the humor in things. Now when I look at my ends, I just think of the potential candle scenario and feel safe lol - if they were to burn up it wouldn't do anything!

shutterpillar
January 31st, 2013, 07:11 AM
LOL, good point, MORE.

bunzfan
January 31st, 2013, 07:22 AM
I was in exactly the same place as you are right now last year, i was also micro trimming but once i realized i only had about 1.5 inches left and i was so unhappy with my thin tapered ends i just cut the last layers out and boy did it look so much better and felt fantastic knowing they are gone.

Now i'm growing out thinned out sides thanks to a hairdresser butchering my hair, my point is how impatient are you? if your super impatient like me i just did it because i knew i would be happier than waiting 5 months to slowing trim it out :taz:

RileyJane
January 31st, 2013, 09:42 AM
Arghh, sound like me! i have the same problem, and even though i want to just cut it off now and be done with it (i wear my hair up anyways); but ive made a deal with myself once i make it to my elbows (which is waist length on me) i will trim off those finicky last 2 inches of blah damage/bleach and just maintain it there for a bit. as long as there isnt a ton of splits/ breakage, i dont see the problems babying those ends until you get to waist, or just until your one yr hair-versary :)

shutterpillar
January 31st, 2013, 10:34 AM
Thank you, Bunzfan. You have beautiful hair and a nice thick hemline, by the way. I took a peek at your albums. :) I will also be growing out bangs that I cut in July of last year. I loved them up until this past December, and then I was just getting tired of cutting them every three weeks. So once again, i'm growing them out. It's a vicious cycle.

RileyJane, I think I will be very close, if not at waist in April. Waist is my mini goal, but it is also my mini goal to be a solid waist, so right now I am leaning towards just cutting it in a couple weeks and reaching my mini goal around late summer or early fall.

A lot to think about, that is for sure.

bunzfan
January 31st, 2013, 01:41 PM
Thank you, Bunzfan. You have beautiful hair and a nice thick hemline, by the way. I took a peek at your albums. :) I will also be growing out bangs that I cut in July of last year. I loved them up until this past December, and then I was just getting tired of cutting them every three weeks. So once again, i'm growing them out. It's a vicious cycle.

RileyJane, I think I will be very close, if not at waist in April. Waist is my mini goal, but it is also my mini goal to be a solid waist, so right now I am leaning towards just cutting it in a couple weeks and reaching my mini goal around late summer or early fall.

A lot to think about, that is for sure.

Thank you :D but i truly had the same problem as you that pic from feb last year is just after i cut them all out http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?p=2155113

shutterpillar
January 31st, 2013, 02:03 PM
Thank you for digging that thread up for me! Your before picture looks pretty familiar. A lot like my hair now.

bunzfan
January 31st, 2013, 02:08 PM
Thank you for digging that thread up for me! Your before picture looks pretty familiar. A lot like my hair now.

I thought it might be helpful, of course you dont need to chop it all, 3 inches is a lot i just get impulsive :lol: maybe a inch now and a inch in a months time?

shutterpillar
January 31st, 2013, 03:54 PM
I was thinking about that, but I feel like if I dont just get rid of it all at once, then it will just continue to bother me. I think i'll chop back to BSL sometime in the next couple weeks. I have to be sure i've found either the right tools to do it myself, or a hairdresser that wont take too much off.

goldloli
January 31st, 2013, 04:52 PM
I was thinking about that, but I feel like if I dont just get rid of it all at once, then it will just continue to bother me. I think i'll chop back to BSL sometime in the next couple weeks. I have to be sure i've found either the right tools to do it myself, or a hairdresser that wont take too much off.

I think about doing the same thing, but then i think i'd rather leave those last inches to take the damage, and just trim them away over time. if the layers really annoy me then i've been taking off half inch every 2 weeks. i think id feel ugly if i cut the 3/4 inches that need to go, so ima be microtrimmimg for a lot of this year.

lapushka
January 31st, 2013, 08:04 PM
If your hair is full of white dots, I'd bite the bullet and get rid of the damaged ends. White dots are future breakage anyway, and it might make it a lot easier to care for your hair if you cut them all off at once.

bunzfan
February 1st, 2013, 12:58 AM
I was thinking about that, but I feel like if I dont just get rid of it all at once, then it will just continue to bother me. I think i'll chop back to BSL sometime in the next couple weeks. I have to be sure i've found either the right tools to do it myself, or a hairdresser that wont take too much off.

If your doing that and i did that the year before to get rid of layers (i had loads) go to a hair dresser i would explain that you want it blunt cut straight across so it looks nice and thick and because your growing it long, a u shape in my experience tapers the hair ;)

erialc
February 1st, 2013, 01:48 AM
I know how you feel, I've been exactly where you are and I decided to just chop those 2 inches off and have it done with... I was very happy with my decision! I did it myself, it's not hard at all if you want a blunt line, especially since yours is so long.

shutterpillar
February 1st, 2013, 07:14 AM
If your hair is full of white dots, I'd bite the bullet and get rid of the damaged ends. White dots are future breakage anyway, and it might make it a lot easier to care for your hair if you cut them all off at once.

Yes, that was my thought as well. The white dots drive me crazy and just add to the tangle problem anyway. No sense in keeping them around.


If your doing that and i did that the year before to get rid of layers (i had loads) go to a hair dresser i would explain that you want it blunt cut straight across so it looks nice and thick and because your growing it long, a u shape in my experience tapers the hair ;)

I'll probably end up just cutting it myself at home using Feyes self-trim method for the straight-across cut. Today is my wash day, so I am really debating on just getting it over and done with this afternoon.


I know how you feel, I've been exactly where you are and I decided to just chop those 2 inches off and have it done with... I was very happy with my decision! I did it myself, it's not hard at all if you want a blunt line, especially since yours is so long.

Thank you for sharing your experience! :flower:

bunzfan
February 1st, 2013, 08:09 AM
Yes, that was my thought as well. The white dots drive me crazy and just add to the tangle problem anyway. No sense in keeping them around.



I'll probably end up just cutting it myself at home using Feyes self-trim method for the straight-across cut. Today is my wash day, so I am really debating on just getting it over and done with this afternoon.



Thank you for sharing your experience! :flower:



Well if you do it soon pics :popcorn: i'm all excited for you.

shutterpillar
February 1st, 2013, 12:08 PM
It's a done deal. Unfortunately I did not take a before picture in the midst of the impulse, but I think it turned out well. I cut it off and immediately sighed with relief. lol. I'll have pictures up soon in a couple months when I do my obligatory anniversary thread. For now, just know I am SO happy I cut it and it looks 100x better!

Thank you everyone for the support and advice!

bunzfan
February 1st, 2013, 12:46 PM
It's a done deal. Unfortunately I did not take a before picture in the midst of the impulse, but I think it turned out well. I cut it off and immediately sighed with relief. lol. I'll have pictures up soon in a couple months when I do my obligatory anniversary thread. For now, just know I am SO happy I cut it and it looks 100x better!

Thank you everyone for the support and advice!

:lol: your just so much like me, cant wait to see it, i'm also doing no pics till aug thats my 3 year anniversary.

shutterpillar
February 1st, 2013, 12:52 PM
When I first came here, I used to take a monthly picture and was always looking in the mirror. I have come to realize that the more I just leave it alone and not obsess over the length, the quicker it will seem like it's growing. So, like you said, no pictures until anniversary! I think the last picture I took of my hair was back in August or September of last year.