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sadia
January 15th, 2013, 12:03 PM
Has anyone ever used a relaxer here? I have a sinking feeling I am never going to gain control over my curls.

rock007junkie
January 15th, 2013, 02:47 PM
Can you post a picture of your hair? There are other things you could try before you go that route that might work better in my opinion. If you want to relax them a little or make them more manageable I would definitely give cassia and/or henna a try.

lacefrost
January 15th, 2013, 06:24 PM
Show us a picture and we'll see if we can help. I think part of your issue may be how you're seeing your hair. You can't really gain control of curly hair and the idea of controlling hair is probably where a lot of frustration lies. I'm sure all the longhairs here can to attest to the fact that if you want nice hair, you figure out what your hair wants to do and you let it do that.

sadia
January 15th, 2013, 07:14 PM
Okay hold on, let me post them.

lilliemer
January 15th, 2013, 07:15 PM
I had my 2c/3a hair relaxed and it was burned off at the roots. That was 10 years ago. I think it is less damaging to try non-chemical strategies if you want straighter hair or try to figure out a better routine for your curls. Also for me a very blunt cut has helped to weigh them down and pull the curl out a bit but ymmv.

sadia
January 15th, 2013, 07:22 PM
This is my hair soaking wet.

https://xuhhzg.dm1.livefilestore.com/y1mNNvC8b-zeL0oVBhQ-lruBpLGdBxDRnFjsjZTD2LZxQ4AnfddpKLRjlGM1fFaHWpi-kS2Z_j-k0u_xOxjjR9WaO1CuQBMdw5fF-k6hvk6t_Y/Oct%2028%2C%202012%203-39-58%20PM.jpg?psid=1

This is my hair almost dry:


https://xuhhzg.dm1.livefilestore.com/y1mYZT2MO5xRUBvZNDBuhTPG5lnwCpRpsvBoZxySJU7pGpL4Fa OeeAYqM1nDE890CL3e2zBskVZsB3AkML2umcNASVaRb56joOm6 naw9J92Cac/Oct%2028%2C%202012%203-50-39%20PM.jpg?psid=1


Almost almost dry:


https://xuhhzg.dm1.livefilestore.com/y1mUtzGPjA8ThDBRHj3RwFFpZWu0EdlwmnKjZ8fInefriJhIfr 91rOUMatIrN_w9kcx5ZVSozms_Rt8XWKHws8cK4eWpgX57NZ43 cB-QOOQQfY/Oct%2028%2C%202012%203-58-48%20PM.jpg?psid=1

Dry:

https://xuhhzg.dm1.livefilestore.com/y1mOny0HdaF9Cirb6NQhBXbaBS8Z_phjRmPPRrXVQReQ1VzHLU XrdI_raan5RvgpyvgQfGziH4hYiy2wOXpgLd0giMq4wU8zeiTt 5RflH9FTQI/Oct%2028%2C%202012%204-07-14%20PM.jpg?psid=1

wavykisses
January 15th, 2013, 08:00 PM
Your hair is beautiful. Have you considered henna or cassia?, I've been using henna and my curls relaxed a lot
and my hair feels silky soft.

Henna imparts a red tint, although in my hair doesn't even show because is quite dark the same color as yours
So maybe henna will help you.

My hair looks so similar to yours and in order to make it hold its curls I have to use some a gel and diffuse it
Which I don't like because it feels heavy and full of product. Henna has gave me the freedom to not use gel anymore
But I lost my curls, for me I liked the trade off

sadia
January 15th, 2013, 09:15 PM
Show us a picture and we'll see if we can help. I think part of your issue may be how you're seeing your hair. You can't really gain control of curly hair and the idea of controlling hair is probably where a lot of frustration lies. I'm sure all the longhairs here can to attest to the fact that if you want nice hair, you figure out what your hair wants to do and you let it do that.

I want my hair to be actual curls not curls that on their own have separated to such a point where its just a mass of hair with little definition.

rock007junkie
January 15th, 2013, 09:23 PM
Oh honey, your hair looks beautiful. Girls would kill for those curls. Some techniques and/or products might help. Go on the Naturallycurly.com website and check it out before you do anything else.

sadia
January 15th, 2013, 09:28 PM
Can someone also type my hair?

lacefrost
January 15th, 2013, 09:32 PM
I want my hair to be actual curls not curls that on their own have separated to such a point where its just a mass of hair with little definition.

Dude, you can totally have that. Plus your hair is quite awesome and looks to be in great condition. I would actually point you in the direction of GRU who is our resident curly hair expert. There's also a Wurly and Curly thread somewhere around here.

I wonder what's causing your hair to frizz. What do you usually do to take care of it?

sadia
January 15th, 2013, 09:49 PM
Dude, you can totally have that. Plus your hair is quite awesome and looks to be in great condition. I would actually point you in the direction of GRU who is our resident curly hair expert. There's also a Wurly and Curly thread somewhere around here.

I wonder what's causing your hair to frizz. What do you usually do to take care of it?

I do hot oil treatments with olive or coconut oil; whichever happens to be at home and I usually do it overnight and several times a week. (south asian, obsessed with oiling my hair). I wash it out with slathering hair in some cheap conditioner and rinsing it out and comb it through with a wide tooth comb. I squeeze out as much water as I can and then just wet bun it. I don't use any styling products. I don't even own any and idk where to start. There are so many of them and they give me a headache just to even try to find which one is right for me.

DinaAG
January 16th, 2013, 12:23 AM
i had chi traNSFORMATION IT LOOKS so natural and i love it

MaryMarx
January 16th, 2013, 02:45 AM
https://xuhhzg.dm1.livefilestore.com/y1mOny0HdaF9Cirb6NQhBXbaBS8Z_phjRmPPRrXVQReQ1VzHLU XrdI_raan5RvgpyvgQfGziH4hYiy2wOXpgLd0giMq4wU8zeiTt 5RflH9FTQI/Oct%2028%2C%202012%204-07-14%20PM.jpg?psid=1
You have gourgeous hair! I would do anything for that hair. :)

finzi
January 16th, 2013, 04:24 AM
Hi Sadia

GORGEOUS curls! :D I agree that perhaps you might find it rewarding (not to mention easier, cheaper and better for your hair) if you were to try to find a way to live with your curls and coax them into behaving well. Have you tried looking at www.naturallycurly.com (http://www.naturallycurly.com/)? They have a forum (http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/). This is home to the Curly Girl method that you may have seen discussed here on LHC from time to time. A lot of curlies find it makes an incredible difference to their hair. Maybe check out the Newbie (http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/newbies-info-introductions/) section on the forum.

There are also a few threads here on LHC devoted to curlies. You might find the Wurly/Curly thread (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=369&highlight=curl*) helpful. Those curls of yours definitely look like 3s to me :)

Keep us all posted!

finzi
January 16th, 2013, 04:30 AM
P.S. This page (http://www.naturallycurly.com/hair-types) over at Naturally Curly shows the different curl types. Looks like you're a 3a/3b.

MissAlida
January 16th, 2013, 06:28 AM
Try this for starters: comb your hair while slathered in conditioner. Then rinse, do a towel turban to get out the excess water, then SCRUNCH. This is the secret of nice curls. You can scrunch with gel, oil, mousse, or nothing...You can try them out and see which you like best. Oh, and the most important part: learn not to touch your curls. Curls look their best on wash days, then, as you sleep on them, and as days go by they do tend to relax a bit and get messier. Don't relax your hair, that stuff is very harsh on it.

LadyCelestina
January 16th, 2013, 07:57 AM
Do you comb your hair while dry or while letting it dry ? It looks combed in the pictures.If so,it might be why your curls separate.

Definitely try scrunching like MissAlida mentioned! But have no worry if it doesn't work for you.For me neither.I squeeze the water out of my hair by pressing it gently between my open palms - like you would do when smoothing oil over your hair.

lapushka
January 16th, 2013, 09:59 AM
You might want to check out the curly thread on this forum, Sadia. Oh, and here's the curly girl method:
http://www.wikihow.com/Follow-the-Curly-Girl-Method-for-Curly-Hair

MORE
January 16th, 2013, 10:28 AM
Beautiful hair!!! Ohh someone's a bit jealous over here:flower:

sadia
January 16th, 2013, 05:04 PM
I have done henna before but its not worth it to me. My hair is so black that the color doesnt show up whatsoever and the other benefits of henna are just not worth it to me to go through the whole process.

sadia
January 16th, 2013, 05:12 PM
Do you comb your hair while dry or while letting it dry ? It looks combed in the pictures.If so,it might be why your curls separate.

Definitely try scrunching like MissAlida mentioned! But have no worry if it doesn't work for you.For me neither.I squeeze the water out of my hair by pressing it gently between my open palms - like you would do when smoothing oil over your hair.

I might have combed it at that time but that was sort of an exception since I rarely ever let my hair down. Every other time I comb my hair out when its damp and then bun it up.

CurlyCap
January 16th, 2013, 06:21 PM
You just have broken curls. Sometime when it was drying, you disturb your hair and each coil breaks into a bunch of independent curls that look like frizz.

Simple ways to test the type of curl you can get:

1. Drip dry. Condition your hair with a light conditioner, leave it in (ie, don't rinse it out), then get out of the shower and let your hair air dry without touching it. Don't dry it with a towel, don't touch it with your hands. This is messy, but lets you see your real curls.

2. Damp bun it. Wash and condition your hair as normal, maybe add some light product, and then sleep with it in a damp bun secured with a scrunchie. This method lets you towel dry your hair so it isn't so drippy. In the morning, take out the scrunchie and gently shake your hair loose. Your curls won't have broken. Let them air dry without touching.

3. How I do my hair when I want to wear it out that day. Everyone's hair is slightly different, but it's something you can try.
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=100736

Good luck!

LadyCelestina
January 18th, 2013, 10:53 AM
Well sadia,simply put,I think your hair is in an awesome condition as it is,and the only thing you need to do to is stop manipulating it so much when it's drying.And even after it dries. :flower:

sadia
January 18th, 2013, 12:45 PM
Okay, thanks for all the advice. Ill try it out and see how it goes.

DarkCurls
January 18th, 2013, 12:53 PM
Be sure to let us know how it goes. I think you have the potential for some amazing curls. It would be too bad to get a relaxer just because you feel you can't control it. Though of course you can and should do what you like best with your hair.
I also believe the "problem" comes from over-manipulation of the hair while drying.