PDA

View Full Version : Tentative Post: Odds Stacked Against me having Long Hair?



Beakywitch
December 31st, 2012, 12:25 PM
Hi everyone, I've been a member a long time but have been in a grow/chop cycle. I now have a pixie chop again and am approaching 50. I look older, I've got fine hair and I'm in my menopause which means I get mighty hot and wake up with my hair stuck to my head feeling somewhat fed up. When I go to my hairdresser and say I may grow it she pokes fun at me and says "You'll be back!" I swear she's the witch and not me because I always do go back.

So my tentative thought is the same as it's always been only worse: am I too old? am I too hot? is my hair too thin? Could I have my hair back again despite my age and circumstances?

I once read something written by a beautiful young longhair that affected me a lot: she said people with thin, fine hair are probably better off with short hair but for everyone else, long hair is great. Too bad that my hair is fine and thin. Although, the one plus is that maybe it's not so fine or so thin now that my hormones have changed. Hrmph!

RavenBaby
December 31st, 2012, 12:35 PM
My hair is really fine and thin too but I don't see why long hair looks bad if the hair is fine, I wouldn't listen to that person, what they said sounds stupid.

melusine963
December 31st, 2012, 12:48 PM
My hair isn't fine, but it's certainly thin. If my mother had her way I'd cut it back from TBL to BSL at least. I just remind myself that I'm growing it for me and this helps me ignore what other people think or say. If you feel like growing your hair out again, go ahead. You won't know how you like it this time until you try.

imaroo
December 31st, 2012, 12:49 PM
I hope that's true, because my hair is very fine too. I've been told by hairdressers many times that I have a lot of it, but it's so fine that I've always given up just past shoulder length because I hate the stringy look.

At 40 years old I'm trying (for the first time ever) to get my hair to BSL. So far, so good, now that I'm finding a routine to prevent breakage. That's always been the hardest part for me.

Good luck to both of us!

Nini
December 31st, 2012, 12:50 PM
Do you want to have long hair? Then sure, you can grow it.

Your hotflashes will be there whether your hair is long or short;) And just remember, it's your hair, not your hairdresser's!

Sillage
December 31st, 2012, 01:07 PM
So my tentative thought is the same as it's always been only worse: am I too old? am I too hot? is my hair too thin? Could I have my hair back again despite my age and circumstances?

No, no, no, and YES!!!!! Hillary Clinton has long hair and she's in her sixties and looks GREAT! We also have a number of 50+ members with long (and gorgeous) hair.


I once read something written by a beautiful young longhair that affected me a lot: she said people with thin, fine hair are probably better off with short hair but for everyone else, long hair is great. Too bad that my hair is fine and thin. Although, the one plus is that maybe it's not so fine or so thin now that my hormones have changed. Hrmph!

Dying to know who this is....

spidermom
December 31st, 2012, 01:11 PM
If you want it long, grow it. It might be fabulous!

furnival
December 31st, 2012, 01:32 PM
My Mum is 60 and has thigh- length hair which is very fine and thin, silvery like cobwebs and looks absolutely amazing. Go for it, say I, and don't listen to a person who has a vested financial interest in persuading you to cut it all the time. ;)

Carolyn
December 31st, 2012, 01:33 PM
I think you need to find a new stylist. Ditch her and never go back to her. She is not being supportive of what you want. She is thinking she won't make as much money off you with fewer salon appointments. A good stylist would be on board with helping you grow out. Your wishes should be her command. Women of any age look wonderful with long hair. ANY age. Long sweaty hair looks much better than short sweaty hair.

Tota
December 31st, 2012, 01:43 PM
Don't let anyone else's opinion keep you away from what you want!

torrilin
December 31st, 2012, 01:50 PM
I'm not sure where the myth that fine and thin hair looks better short comes from. There is nothing more horrible than having my fine hair short enough that it floats and gets into everything... and it does that until my hair is solidly past my waist! Pixie cuts look terrible, like I have no hair at all. And since my ponytail measures about 3", my hair isn't actually thin.

Fine hair does need gentle handling. It tends to split easily, and a lot of conventional hair care advice just makes that worse. I've lost track of how many "volumizing" conditioners did basically nothing for my hair, and how many times I've gotten advice to skip conditioner or use less to increase volume. In reality, my skin and hair are really dry, and the conditioners that work best are ones for color treated or curly hair. Once I get enough conditioner in it, then I have actual volume. Never like a curly haired person would have, but plenty for someone with straight hair. Things like blow drying and alcohol based styling products are also really drying and a bad match for my hair.

imaroo
December 31st, 2012, 01:56 PM
Things like blow drying and alcohol based styling products are also really drying and a bad match for my hair.

Blow drying can be really hard on my hair too, but if I don't blow dry it looks so god awful I may as well just keep it short. My hair is mostly straight, with just enough "wave" to make it look funny. In fact, the wave probably qualifies more as cowlicks than real wave. Plus, it gets clumpy (especially at the ends) if I let it air dry. That may look good with true waves or curls, but it looks really unkempt and ugly on me. So, I use a leave in conditioner and blow dry on low heat. It's no ideal, but I'm not working this hard for long hair if it's going to look awful. I've had to compromise.

Do you ever have this problem with air drying? If so how do you deal with that?

Amapola
December 31st, 2012, 02:02 PM
Crap! People with thin, fine hair should not have it long? Wow, how come no one ever told me? :P Oh yeah, that's because I DON'T LISTEN TO OTHER PEOPLE. :D

I am well past 50 and my hair is just past my hips. I love it. DH loves it. All my friends complement me on it. My hair is stick straight, baby fine, and that pony tail is less than 3"... but it still looks great. WAY better than it did short!

You are going to have to stick it out if you want it long. You are cutting it at an awkward stage... you will just have to tolerate it for a bit as it gets longer, and then it will start behaving and looking glorious. As far as your stylist... if she/he is not supporting you, find someone who will. In my case that was me. Haven't been to a stylist in about 8 years now.

If you want short hair, fine, cut it to your heart's content. But if you want long hair, grow your hair long. Don't listen to other people. You hopefully don't listen to other people if they tell you what your favorite color ought to be... or what your favorite food ought to be. Do what YOU want. Whatever that might be.

Beakywitch
December 31st, 2012, 02:04 PM
No, no, no, and YES!!!!! Hillary Clinton has long hair and she's in her sixties and looks GREAT! We also have a number of 50+ members with long (and gorgeous) hair.



Dying to know who this is....

I don't remember who it was but I think it was on another site. It was an interview with someone gorgeous with very very loooong hair.

Lippytoes
December 31st, 2012, 02:11 PM
Blow drying can be really hard on my hair too, but if I don't blow dry it looks so god awful I may as well just keep it short. My hair is mostly straight, with just enough "wave" to make it look funny. In fact, the wave probably qualifies more as cowlicks than real wave. Plus, it gets clumpy (especially at the ends) if I let it air dry. That may look good with true waves or curls, but it looks really unkempt and ugly on me. So, I use a leave in conditioner and blow dry on low heat. It's no ideal, but I'm not working this hard for long hair if it's going to look awful. I've had to compromise.

Do you ever have this problem with air drying? If so how do you deal with that?

Hmm! From the way you describe your hair, I'm wondering if it might be wavier than you think it is. Have you tried conditioner only washing? That's done wonders for the curl/wave definition of many. :)

Beakywitch
December 31st, 2012, 02:13 PM
I love all these replies!

What I want to do is part my hair in the middle and spin on my heel, walking away from my stylist. I know I would probably look bad for a long while but once it grew a bit I would have my femininity back. I'm not bothered about colour, natural is fine by me whatever my hair grows as. It used to be a beautiful corn blonde but now it ranges from an interesting dark dark to shades of silver, brown and mouse. I fantasise about knitting myself some hats to cover awkward stages but really if there was a major disaster or society broke down tomorrow, I would just naturalise and grow it with never a cut again.

I can't air dry my hair, it goes lank and greasy. My hair likes to be dried out and have the drying effect of hairspray on it. I have mega oily, soft, lank hair. My scalp likes warmth. Maybe in the past I tried too hard but actually I just need to let go a bit and see what happens.

In the past I have still had a fringe but in my new life I would not cut into my hair anywhere. Nature designed the shape to be what it is.

EtherealDoll
December 31st, 2012, 02:38 PM
I think you can grow it long and it will look beautiful.

My former classmate has thin hair but it started looking much less stringy when she grew it to waist length. In school she always wore it in a short bob and it always looked stringy. Then in 9th form she started growing it out and by the time we finished school it was mid-back length and only her ends(maybe 10 cm) looked stringy(kind of like fairytale ends) but the rest of her hair looked like ii/iii(by LHC hairtyping).

So I'm thinking that it might be that just those 10 cm of her ends were very thin, no matter whether she had short or long hair, just when she had shorter hair it looked like all her hair was thin but when she grew it out, it turned out that those were only the ends that were so thin.

imaroo
December 31st, 2012, 03:45 PM
Hmm! From the way you describe your hair, I'm wondering if it might be wavier than you think it is. Have you tried conditioner only washing? That's done wonders for the curl/wave definition of many.

I have tried it, yes. I stuck with it for about 3 months and with about 4 or 5 different conditioners. The main problem that I had with it is that I had to really work the conditioner into my scalp to get it clean or I ended up with bumpy/itchy patches. But working it into my scalp so well caused me to lose more hair than I was comfortable with. I may try it again some time, but I just couldn't find the right balance between gentle handling and getting my scalp clean.

I've come to the conclusion that the biggest problem with my hair is not dryness or lack of moisture, because I really do use very gentle and moisturizing products. Gobs of them. It's just that my hair is so baby fine that it can't take any rough handling and breaks off very easily. Detangling products, seamless combs, and NO pony tails seem to be making a difference.

Thank you very much for the suggestion, though!

Iolanthe13
December 31st, 2012, 04:03 PM
This makes me sad. I think fine, thin hair can look very beautiful long - the length really shows off the silkiness and shine. My mother (54) has always had fine, thin hair somewhere between BSL and hip length. It grows to hip length each year, and I trim it back for her when she asks. She gets many compliments on the style and the colour - her hair is now a mix of silver and dark brown, and it's usually up in a bun. She washes it every day with sulfate shampoo and cheap conditioner, and brushes when it's wet (no blow-drying though), but it's very healthy.

There's no reason why you shouldn't grow your hair out, if you want to. It just requires patience for the awkward stages! We're all supporting you :) Also, you say your hair breaks despite lots of moisture - have you tried protein?

Cania
December 31st, 2012, 04:09 PM
My mother has fine, thin hair too. She was told for years she couldn't grow it out by her hairdresser friends... I finally convinced her to try (only took me 20 years :P) and it's growing quite nicely. It's a slow process, but it's looking lovely.

As for the heat, I got horrible hot flushes during early puberty, and sometimes still get them around my period or if I mess something up with my pill (the contraceptive). I had chin length hair and shoulder length for a long, long time. I'm currently getting close to hip. Honestly, chin length was the worst! I couldn't get it out of my face. Once it got long enough to tie back, I found throwing it all in a bun to be the most comfortable thing.. especially if I wet my hair first with nice, cool water.

Try it! You can always cut it again, right? :)

torrilin
December 31st, 2012, 05:19 PM
Blow drying can be really hard on my hair too, but if I don't blow dry it looks so god awful I may as well just keep it short. My hair is mostly straight, with just enough "wave" to make it look funny. In fact, the wave probably qualifies more as cowlicks than real wave. Plus, it gets clumpy (especially at the ends) if I let it air dry.

That suggests pretty strongly that you're in no way a 1c. My wave pattern is a pattern (so I can't be a 1b), but at past waist I have around 6-7 total wavelengths in my hair. So technically there's wave visible at shoulder, but it's pretty damn technical. And given that kind of wavelength, just combing out my hair with conditioner is enough to make it look flat ironed straight. Going full on curly girl gives me a couple hours of my hair pretending to have wave, and then it looks flat ironed.


That may look good with true waves or curls, but it looks really unkempt and ugly on me. So, I use a leave in conditioner and blow dry on low heat. It's no ideal, but I'm not working this hard for long hair if it's going to look awful. I've had to compromise.

Do you ever have this problem with air drying? If so how do you deal with that?

Honestly, I'd kill to have some clumping action going on :D

Anyway, even if I did manage to have clumping, I almost always wind up with my hair drying in a bun or braid. The waves and curl tend to just fall out anyway, and the imposed order tends to be more appealing.

Yozhik
December 31st, 2012, 05:32 PM
Don't let anyone tell you what kind of hair you can have but you!

I'd suggest growing it out and then seeing how you feel about it - if you decide after all to cut it off, then you'll at least know for sure that you gave it a try. :flower:

drquartz1970
December 31st, 2012, 07:11 PM
i always admire people who go against conformist trends and achieve things that more mediocre personalities say cannot be done.

JadeTigress
December 31st, 2012, 07:59 PM
Another vote to go for it! I have fine, thin hair that was classic length until I was 19, and it was awesome. I should never have cut it. And my mom, who's in her mid 50's, grew her thinning hair out to her waist (she just recently cut it back to mbl though because she didn't like how thin her ends were). It also looks awesome. :p

As for hot flashes, I get them far more often than I'd like. And honestly, I find it much less hot with long hair than with short hair. I can get the hair away from me, whereas with short hair, I'm pretty much stuck.

Nae
December 31st, 2012, 08:15 PM
On the contrary, long, fine, thin hair looks postively ethereal. It is delicate and light and just.....gorgeous. It is like spun silk.

Just bite the bullet and grow it, once you can tie it up and get it off of your neck the hot flashes shouldn't be near so bad. I wonder how people deal with lots of heat (either internally or externally) when they have short haircuts where the hair is just on the neck. I used to be SO hot with my pixie.

I think that you could do it and your hair might suprise you. Go for it!

Silverbrumby
December 31st, 2012, 08:18 PM
The last 3 inches of my hair here are about half as thick as your little finger. I'm not sure what to advise. I love a great bob and I think yours looks cute.

My feeling now is that you should have the hair that makes you feel great. Length, styles, virgin or processed. It doesn't matter to me. We all get a head of hair and we can call just cut it off or grow it as the whim takes us.

Being on this site is hard for me as a short terminal length gal but it has helped so much in improving my hair care and health. I have shiny hair now, hair that looks great in the photos I've seen (btw, great for me but nothing like the heads of hair I've seen here). So while I'll never have hair to my middle back and NEVER to my hips I'm happy with my BSL length hair most days. I love long. I love the way it feels, how it moves, how I can change it up with updo's my steam rollers, hair jewels and sometime use of healthy natural dyes like cassia and/or Logena temp dyes.

As an first goal how about you grow it to your shoulders? If you love it there at that length then go further. Good luck.

Ambystoma
December 31st, 2012, 09:53 PM
I've seen some glorious heads of fine/thin hair on these boards - go for it! Also, to help you get through the awkward stage perhaps you could try what I used to do when I was growing out a very short bob (the hair at the back started at 1cm long). I got loads of bobby pins, and modified a french roll by doing it in two parts by parting my hair from ear to ear, rolling and securing the top half and then doing the same (as best as I could) with the underneath section, and sweeping my fringe to the side as that grew out too. It helped me feel feminine and polished, like my hair had a style rather than just being a shaggy mess, and every month it got a little easier to do - hope this helps!

Sarahlabyrinth
December 31st, 2012, 09:58 PM
I once read a saying which read something like this:

"Never let the people who say it can't be done interrupt you while you are in the middle of doing it." :)

jacqueline101
January 1st, 2013, 02:24 AM
I agree you need to get rid of her she sounds like she's against long hair.

auburntressed
January 1st, 2013, 02:46 AM
I have seen some thin haired people before who have beautiful, flowy hair. I've also seen some people who usually wear their hair down, and then I am shocked the first time I see it in a braid or pony - because you'd never guess it was that thin by how full it looks when down.

I'd say you may as well grow your hair out and see how you like it. If you don't like it, the option to cut again is always there. :)

Rosetta
January 1st, 2013, 05:34 AM
I once read a saying which read something like this:

"Never let the people who say it can't be done interrupt you while you are in the middle of doing it." :)

Yeah, this seems to be like the quote in my signature, just worded a bit differently :) And having chosen it as my sig quote, need I say more! :)

Alexblue
January 1st, 2013, 01:19 PM
Is there a GM salon or another salon in your area that specialises in long hair? Someone who will work with your goals to grow long hair. I grew out from both a pixie and a chin-length bob after two big chops. The awkward grow-out phase to APL is the toughest in my opinion but worth it if you want long hair.

Also, When I went to a GM Salon they dispelled some of the misconceptions I had for long hair. For example, the need for layers to create movement (instead they cut my hair at a 45 degree angle which gave lots of movement while maintaining a blunt hemline (not that you can tell by my wavy hair :-)

And I agree with others, I have seen countless women much older than you with fine and/or thin hair who look incredibly chic.

Rivanariko
January 1st, 2013, 02:09 PM
Thin and fine hair can't grow long? Wish someone had told me that.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v412/Rivanariko/7-26-12length.jpg

Wait, they did. And I told them to bugger off and did it anyway.

DMARTINEZ
January 1st, 2013, 07:16 PM
From you picture i think you would look lovely with long hair! :)

Deb

Silverbrumby
January 1st, 2013, 07:32 PM
How thick is your ponytail circumference? It looks way thicker than mine and I'm a 2.9 at the ponytail but drop off dramatically at APL down to 1/2 an inch.



Thin and fine hair can't grow long? Wish someone had told me that.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v412/Rivanariko/7-26-12length.jpg

Wait, they did. And I told them to bugger off and did it anyway.

Elanadi
January 1st, 2013, 07:42 PM
I'm another fine and thin (1a ii - a 3 1/4" ponytail) and am working on classic. Hairstylists seem to think everyone should have short layered hair, I haven't met a single one that likes super long hair (not that they don't exist, I just haven't met them). You do what you want to do, never mind what others think. Also, I find it WAY easier to keep my hair up in a bun if I'm doing anything sweaty or if it's hot than to fight shorter hair that sticks to my neck.

JadeTigress
January 2nd, 2013, 01:45 PM
The awkward grow-out phase to APL is the toughest in my opinion but worth it if you want long hair.

This. A thousand times. This was the absolute hardest for me, and took the longest because it constantly looked so awful. I just kept trimming and cutting trying to make it look good while it grew out. So I was in that awkward phase for a good 2 or 3 years. If I had just let it look bad for awhile and let it do it's thing, I would've been past it so much sooner.

Atira
January 2nd, 2013, 01:54 PM
I have thin fine hair. It's the longest it's ever been at waist length. I love it.

My mother has hair that she keeps between BSL to almost-waist. It's gorgeous and makes her look really young! She is 58.

Nedertane
January 2nd, 2013, 02:57 PM
I'm another fine and thin (1a ii - a 3 1/4" ponytail) and am working on classic. Hairstylists seem to think everyone should have short layered hair, I haven't met a single one that likes super long hair (not that they don't exist, I just haven't met them). You do what you want to do, never mind what others think. Also, I find it WAY easier to keep my hair up in a bun if I'm doing anything sweaty or if it's hot than to fight shorter hair that sticks to my neck.

Sorry to thread hijack, but why would that be considered a thin pony circumference? I thought 2" - 4" was considered average thickness. I've got a solid 3" pony, and I thought that was at least decently thick, especially since my hair is so fine.

~honeyflower~
January 2nd, 2013, 05:26 PM
Once upon a time, I didthought that thin hair needed to be short to look good. Well I watched my sister's hair grow long with fairytail ends and I was proved wrong when she got to waist. It looks fantastic! And the long hair looks better on her than when she was apl. My advice is it's great to take someone's opinions but take it lightly because we're human, we change our minds constantly!

Lissandria
January 3rd, 2013, 12:52 AM
i always admire people who go against conformist trends and achieve things that more mediocre personalities say cannot be done.

This!

I have very fine, very thin hair (Im a curly with a 2.25" ponytail).

That I should have short hair - Pffft.

I would give it a go. What have you got to lose?

ETA: I don't want to play semantics nor hijjack the thread OP :flower:, but I really don't think a 3" ponytail qualifies as "thin hair". 3" is average hair thickness. 3" is not super thick, however and I have no doubt many people with a 3" ponytail have been told they shouldn't/couldn't have long hair :) Carry on ;)

LakeofGlass
January 3rd, 2013, 01:17 AM
The way I see it, it's always worth giving something a shot. Now, if I decided to go blonde, I'd sooner try on a wig with the exact shade I want to try, before going off and bleaching my hair. But for the record, I would never do such a thing.

If growing your hair out is all you're wanting, just ensure you trim off split ends and do what you can to keep your hair healthy. If it's a matter of thickness for bun or braid styles, there are other means to achieve the look without going through hormone treatments. Just please, don't back comb. :P

woolyleprechaun
January 3rd, 2013, 01:46 AM
You are never too 'anything' to have long hair. If its what you want, you do it. When I joined this forum, I personaly felt that thin hair shouldn't be grown long, and that there was a 'certain age' when you should start wearing it short *ducks to avoid hairsticks thrown in rage*
All I can do is apologise for my ignorance. This forum completely changed my mind. There are so many inspiring and beautiful people and hair here, and I hope that you can have a browse and see if it inspires you to grow.

Nedertane
January 3rd, 2013, 03:16 PM
This!

I have very fine, very thin hair (Im a curly with a 2.25" ponytail).

That I should have short hair - Pffft.

I would give it a go. What have you got to lose?

ETA: I don't want to play semantics nor hijjack the thread OP :flower:, but I really don't think a 3" ponytail qualifies as "thin hair". 3" is average hair thickness. 3" is not super thick, however and I have no doubt many people with a 3" ponytail have been told they shouldn't/couldn't have long hair :) Carry on ;)

Thank you for that there!

Rivanariko
January 3rd, 2013, 03:35 PM
How thick is your ponytail circumference? It looks way thicker than mine and I'm a 2.9 at the ponytail but drop off dramatically at APL down to 1/2 an inch.

I'm about 2.75" (just measured, realized I hadn't since I first joined, lol!) so I'm still on the thin side, but not super thin. My hair is baby-fine though, and I think that sometimes makes it appear thicker than it is when it's down, simply because there are a lot of hairs. When you gather it together though, you can see how thin it is.

lapushka
January 3rd, 2013, 04:10 PM
My mom has the finest, thin, hair that I've seen and for a long time, after she turned 50, she grew it long and wore it in a bun at the top of her head. Now it's APL, has been for quite a while. But it can be done. Just stay away from your hairdresser and let it grow. If you keep getting it cut, nothing or no one can help you with growing your hair.