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View Full Version : Hair Desperation and Request for Advice-- With Pics



Annibelle
December 30th, 2012, 08:19 PM
Ever since becoming a member of LHC, I've had problems with my ends. I've asked for lots of help, and I got lots of great advice. I came here with hair a bit below WL, but my ends were thin.

http://i1188.photobucket.com/albums/z414/4nnibelle/P5143627-1_zps11c40f9b-1_zpsad488072-1_zps0ace02d2.jpg

See, the hemline seems to thicken around BSL or MBL. So I cut to BSL. My new ends were then just as thin as my old ones!

Fast forward a year or so. My hair is healthier, and I've discovered that it's actually wavy, not straight-- which explains why it looked so dry when I first joined LHC (I brushed it all.the.time). I've been trimming one inch per month-- basically all of my growth-- but I've finally made it almost back to WL.

http://i1188.photobucket.com/albums/z414/4nnibelle/P9084795-2_zps06a3c788-1_zps20504c5f.jpg

But my ends are still so thin. Now, instead of being thin starting at BSL, they're thin starting at SL/APL!

So I decide that trimming one inch per month just isn't enough. I need to get a professional cut.

And here's my hair yesterday.

http://i1188.photobucket.com/albums/z414/4nnibelle/PC295344_zpsec623b24.jpg

No matter how much I cut, no matter how long my hair is, the last four+ inches are thin. It's not breakage. I rarely find a split end, and I NEVER find broken hairs. I shed a lot (though less now than in a year), but all of these hairs are full-length-- not broken.

My waviness doesn't seem to help matters, because it's so inconsistent. Sometimes, these longer hairs are the same length as the others because they curl up. The shorter I cut my hair, the straighter my hair gets-- and when my hair is straight, it just isn't as flattering on me, IMO-- I already have thin, fine hair, and it looks better with the volume the waves provide. But these ends! :justy: They're horrible, and I just don't know what to do anymore.

Should I just cut it all back to SL? Should I just give up on long hair forever? I don't know what to do anymore. My hope was that, after this big cut (I mean, I've gone from below WL to APL in the time I've been at LHC), I could finally wear my hair down (without a black shirt) without being embarrassed. My fear about cutting even shorter is that my new hemline will be just as straggly. I mean, that's what keeps happening to me.

I'm at a loss. Any advice would be very much appreciated. Maybe I'm missing something that only an outsider might notice or think to ask about. I know I keep posting threads asking for advice, but I'm so stuck. Everything I do seems to make my hair look worse. The only thing I can do now is either wear my hair up (which I don't like doing) or wear a black shirt every day (which I also don't like doing). I just want to have good hair. I've given up on having amazing hair. I just want hair that looks healthy.

ravenreed
December 30th, 2012, 08:30 PM
I don't think it looks bad, but then again, I purposely layer my hair. When you had your hair cut, did they do the method that is best for curly hair, or did they wet it and stretch it out? IIRC, the other way is dry, and follows your hair's natural curl pattern.

Annibelle
December 30th, 2012, 08:33 PM
I don't think it looks bad, but then again, I purposely layer my hair. When you had your hair cut, did they do the method that is best for curly hair, or did they wet it and stretch it out? IIRC, the other way is dry, and follows your hair's natural curl pattern.

Well, I went for a "devacut," but they didn't do it AT ALL the way I've read they're supposed to be done. Well, it WAS dry, but she combed it all out first with a fine-tooth comb (I NEVER comb or brush my hair at all)... which made it poofy and almost stick-straight. So now I'm afraid to get a cut again-- they were the highest-rated curly salon in that city. :( So I'm sure the cut isn't ideal, but I'm not sure what to do about it besides go even shorter.

WaitingSoLong
December 30th, 2012, 08:36 PM
I wish I could help. That is very weird? Maybe it does have something to do with how it is cut. If some of your hair always springs up further, it would give the appearance of layers when you don't have any (assuming you don't have any). It is quite normal for different parts of people's hair to be curlier than others. My nape hair is wavy and if it is short, can be almost curly, but it is pretty straight otherwise.

When you braid it, does it taper a lot?

Annibelle
December 30th, 2012, 08:48 PM
I wish I could help. That is very weird? Maybe it does have something to do with how it is cut. If some of your hair always springs up further, it would give the appearance of layers when you don't have any (assuming you don't have any). It is quite normal for different parts of people's hair to be curlier than others. My nape hair is wavy and if it is short, can be almost curly, but it is pretty straight otherwise.

When you braid it, does it taper a lot?

Here's my latest braid photo, taken around the time of the second photo in my original post:

http://i1188.photobucket.com/albums/z414/4nnibelle/P5254581_zps238aaab1-1_zpsdbab9ea0.jpg

I never braid to the very ends, so I'm not sure if this helps you see how much taper there is.

And I don't know if this will help, but here's a ponytail photo (like in the braid photo, my hair's been "straightened.") I think there's a lot of taper, but maybe it's hard to tell because my hair's so thin:

http://i1188.photobucket.com/albums/z414/4nnibelle/PB245234_zpsa32f8d31-1_zpsd8681bdf.jpg

jillosity
December 30th, 2012, 09:22 PM
I think your hair looks great, you have natural fairytale ends and wonderful volume! Could it be, that since you used to brush your waves out, that you were also breaking a certain amount of hair off? So that now that you've been treating your hair more gently for a year, those hairs that used to get broken off/pulled out are only 1 year old, and thus are shorter than the rest of your hair? And also that they will "catch up" with the rest of your hair?

Yozhik
December 30th, 2012, 09:24 PM
Your hair is really pretty, and I love your texture. :flower:

My only thought is that since you've only discovered you are a wavy recently, maybe your texture is somehow emphasizing the ends in a way that it wasn't before. I think it looks fine the way it is now, but if you did want to trim back even further, I'd suggest APL over SL.

Is it possible you are recovering from past stress or thinning? I'm sure you considered these options before, but I just thought I'd put it out there.

Whatever you decide, :grouphug: :grouphug:.

Iolanthe13
December 30th, 2012, 10:35 PM
Perhaps if you grew to your ideal length, you could maintain there until the shorter hairs caught up?

lacefrost
December 30th, 2012, 11:51 PM
So, you know I love your hair. I've basically commented on all of your threads about your hair and it's thinness. I love that second photo of it. It's so princessy and fairy-taley and glossy. It's beautiful and I wouldn't change it. But I get you want your dream hair.

I do think your hair has gotten thicker since you've been at LHC. I don't think the thinness is starting higher up. I think the waves just make your hair look shorter. I think, from looking at the third picture and your sig pic, that your hair has also grown thicker. Your hair has shown improvement that I can see from looking at pictures.

As far as the cut goes, curly hair salons are pretty much known for layering hair so that the curls sit within one another as they cascade down your back. The plus is that wave and curl formation is better (which is why your ends look thicker) and the minus is that it thins your hair out. I do think the hair stylists didn't quite know what she was doing. Even people who profess to know how to do curly hair often have no clue. Take my last salon visit: they actually washed my hair loose with a sulfate shampoo and detangled it dry. From my sigpic, you can see what my hair looks like loose.

I do have some ideas for you. Let your cut grow out. I think it's pretty but I think you'll be happier with your hair once you let it grow out some. Your hair looks thicker in the third photo cause the ends are clumpier. Have you tried twirling the last 3 or 4 inches together when they're damp? That way it'd simulate the effect of the cut without the cut. I think that may help you be happier with your hair while you're growing.

Also, have you talked to a doctor about your shedding?

MaryO
December 31st, 2012, 12:05 AM
Your hair is beautiful! Me being quite a fairytale ends fan I've noticed that people whose hair naturally does this (makes fairytale ends) don't like it and people wih a solid hem want it! So it's sort of a grass is greener on the other side scenario!

Elanadi
December 31st, 2012, 12:15 AM
I think your hair is gorgeous! I say grow it out, do micro trims to keep the fairytale ends from being too long if it bothers you, but just grow it and see what happens.

bte
December 31st, 2012, 12:18 AM
Perhaps if you grew to your ideal length, you could maintain there until the shorter hairs caught up?
I think this is good advice. If there is a really serious problem, it will become more obvious, but to me it just looks as though you have quite a lot of natural taper. Sometimes we have to learn to live with what we have, and you hair looks good to me.

Micayla47
December 31st, 2012, 12:19 AM
your hair looks healthy and beautiful in the last two photos and your signature picture. i wouldn't advise going any shorter.

Allychan
December 31st, 2012, 12:38 AM
Annibelle your hair looks stunning and healthy in the second and third photos compared to when you started.

Like me you have a whole lot of preLHC to grow out, I too realised I had wavy hair not straight. I did what one of the posters has already suggested, grow it to the length you want it and microtrim it from there. My photo album is not up but I have had significant changes to my hair thickness which is slowly moving down my back. I still have those 'scraggy' ends I started with, but I see it as two years of growth I have to 'cut off'. My hemline will not be as thick as the hair at my shoulders-APL until all the old stuff is gone.

Your hair will be stunning soon, although I think it already is

JamieLeigh
December 31st, 2012, 01:05 AM
I, too, think it's just a matter of your waves making your hair appear shorter than it is. The thicker parts of your hair actually do look thicker and more full than the thicker parts in the first photo...so maybe embracing your waves was the right thing to do. It may just take some patience and time, but I know how hard that is to come by. I think your waves are absolutely beautiful!

woolyleprechaun
December 31st, 2012, 01:15 AM
I don't know what to advise, as I don't know why this happens. All I can say is that it happens to me too. I'm a wavy, and regardless of my hair length, the bottom 4 inches fairytale. I get down about it as I would love a good solid hem, but I am learning to acccept that that is just the way my hair is.
If it helps at all, my mentality has become 'well, if theres fairytale at SL and no more or less at WL, I may as well just keep growing. I can live with the wispy 4 inches happier at longer lengths'.
Providing the taper isn't getting more distinct as you grow, I can't see why it should cause you trouble on your growth journey. I personaly think you have very pretty hair!

Nellon
December 31st, 2012, 04:14 AM
I also just wanted to put my 5 cents in here saying that I get that you are frustrated and annoyed with this, I don't have a solution, but IMO your hair is BEAUTIFUL the way it is. I love how thick and curly it is all in all. I'm quite jealous actually, my hair being thin all over and straight :) Keep growing and microtrimming I'd say. And rejoice in your beautiful hair!

Audhumla
December 31st, 2012, 04:55 AM
Hmm like you say it seems that it's not thinning after a certain length but rather the ends always seem to thin out.
To me that would suggest some style you're doing that might damage your ends like a hair elastic at the end of your braid ? or perhaps some kind of LHC type treatment that you only put on your ends that might make them more brittle ?

I wouldn't worry about it too much because you hair looks very nice. I would suggest just growing your hair out because it won't get better by just cutting your hair shorter imo and like you said you don't like it shorter and straighter.

Annibelle
December 31st, 2012, 05:43 AM
Thank you, all! :flower: You're all so sweet, and really picked me up when I was feeling down and desperate.

As for those who say to just let my hair grow and let the rest catch up-- I'll try this again, but I tried it for a long time and it's always the same hairs that grow-- my canopy grows 1+inch per month, whereas the rest doesn't seem to grow at all.

But I DID have a vitamin D deficiency for years that was recently addressed. It's been stabilized for a month or so, so I guess I just need to let it wait-- if my problem is, in fact, health-related.

And maybe my hair IS just taking a long time to grow out from when I brushed it all the time. Maybe it was damaged from that (though at that time, I didn't pay much attention to damage, so I can't say either way), and it will just take a long time to fix.

I do know one thing-- I won't go back to that salon. :no: I was willing to sacrifice length for a thick hemline and more volume, but I don't think I got that. IMO though my ends are horrid in the second picture, my hair still looked better then than it does now.

I guess I'll just keep trying to make my hair appear better while growing. Or maybe I'll maintain around this length for a while. Maybe I'll learn how to do my OWN curlycut, since I can't seem to even trust salons that are DevaCut certified. :( (LaceFrost-- I'm sorry your recent salon experience was not curly-friendly, too! My stylist did the craziest thing-- after washing, she filled my hair with gel. So far so good. But once my hair was dry, she used a fine-toothed comb to comb out the gel! To "give me volume"! I walked out of there with frizzy, straight hair when I went in specifically asking for a cut that would enhance my waves. None of the other stylists would even LOOK at me-- neither would the girl who took my money when I paid. :( )

Glenn
December 31st, 2012, 07:19 AM
Wow... I'm just glad other people posted positive comments on here about Annibelle's hair. When she leaves her hair alone, the result is a style that many people would actually pay for. She just doesn't listen to me. :)

MissAlida
December 31st, 2012, 08:29 AM
I think we are in the same boat.:) My hair is 2c/3a, starts wavy and ends up in ringlets. I have had massive shed for years, so my hair has thinned out significantly. My braids look very thin, like 2D, so to say...one inch wide, and not even 1 cm thick. My buns are tiny. For these reasons I almost always wear my hair down. But I don't have damage from wearing it down, I haven't found a split in years. But since I found a product that has finally stopped my shedding, I can see all of these 2 inch baby hairs all around my head. I think, that your ends are thin because the new growth hasn't reached them yet. If you stop and think, a hair strand to grow BSL long takes at least 2 years or more. I think the only cure for our hair is time. I do like to trim it from time to time. I use Feye's self trim method for a U hemline. Since doing this, I have noticed that the middle part of my hem is getting thicker, and also, that my hair likes to grow in a natural V hemline. So I'm trying to let the sides of the hem catch up to the middle, if that makes sense. BTW, whenever I went to the salon, I ended up with the exact same cut as your's. And I think it's not good for our hairtype. But you hair in the second photo is lovely and very feminine. I know you want a thick hemline, because I am in the same situation. But it's not going to happen to us. Our hair is programmed to have fairy-tale ends, and by how I see it, it only gets better with length and time. So I wish you happy growing, and advice you to wear it down (LHC don't shoot me:couch: ), if that makes you like it more.:)

goldloli
December 31st, 2012, 08:29 AM
I think it might just be the old damage that's prone to breaking. Also curly layers often thin the ends. Your new one look like they start quite high up, around chin maybe, so obviously your bsl ends will be thinner. The layers look lovely, just micro trim a little growth each month, only from the bottom hemline and not from the layers. In time this should result in less fairytale ends, where the bulk of you hair meets up with the hem. That way you'll still have the pretty layers that fall a couple inches higher but an overall fuller hem, instead of 8 inches or so of layering :o

i actually want a deva cut now. I have the same hair type and i cant really have too much layers without thin ends, maybe i'll just ask for 4 inches of layers.

your hair really has improved, it's glossy and cute wave formation.

SlightlySoprano
December 31st, 2012, 09:08 AM
as another thin/finey with curls/waves mixed together and ridiculously fine ends... You might laugh at this and think its ridiculous... but I can't do the devacut for exactly THOSE reasons. My ends look like that naturally. So I honest to goodness get a regular blunt cut when my hair is sopping wet (as if it were straight) and it seems to help pretty significantly. That also means that when I cut, some pieces of hair lose significant amount of length, but personally (and this is just a personal aesthetic! NOT saying this is the "right" way) I love the look of a blunt hemline. It just makes my very fine/thin hair look thicker. Just my 2 cents. You can PM me if you want to chat about it more :blossom:

Whatever you choose to do, you should enjoy your hair. I also agree that your hair is beautiful, and wow shiny! I don't think you have anything to worry about. :)

spidermom
December 31st, 2012, 09:36 AM
I think your hair is pretty, too. If it were mine, I think I would trim the longest ends about 1/2" every 2-3 months and hope that the thickness moves down. I remember when Emichiee had a problem with thin ends, she trimmed to maintain the length and waited for the thickness to move down. It did.

EdG
December 31st, 2012, 09:47 AM
Annibelle, your hair is fantastic! I think you have a natural taper. Don't worry about tapered ends, and don't try to make your hair look like someone else's. What you have is thudworthy. :thud:
Ed

ElleLove
December 31st, 2012, 09:58 AM
Annibelle, I think your hair is absolutely gorgeous! I would - like others - also suggest just letting your hair continue to grow & micro-trimming along the way. I feel like my hair is in a similar situation as yours; my longest layer looks scraggly & thin, but I don't want to cut it until my shorter layers grow to a longer length that I'm comfortable with.

Also, the transformation your hair made is incredible; would you be able to share [in as many details as you can] how you learned to care for & style your wavy hair? My hair is also thin and can be wavy, but I can't seem to get it to looks wavy without product overload, which I strongly dislike.

Thank you very much! :)

Mayflower
December 31st, 2012, 10:20 AM
You know I love your hair, Annibelle. Like others, I would let it grow and microtrim every now and then. Once you reach your goal length you can maintain and let the thickness move down.
You mentioned vitamin D deficiency; it takes longer than a month to let all the regrowth catch up! I wouldn't get discouraged just yet :). Give it some time, take care of your hair and enjoy your beautiful waves and volume.

Tota
December 31st, 2012, 10:23 AM
Your hair is beautiful, glossy, really princessy! And the waves are so unique! My advice would be to just let go, enjoy your hair the way it is and leave it to grow. Maybe a benign neglect for a while? Set yourself a period of time in which you'll just leave your hair be (for me these are three-month periods) and then decide what you can do to feel happier about your hair. In the meantime just enjoy the beauty of your hair and play with it ;) If I were you I would just pamper it, microtrim or S&D when needed and wait to hit a minigoal (and keep away from a salon for a while).

jacqueline101
December 31st, 2012, 10:25 AM
I'm not a curly hair. Shedding is something near and dear to me. I didn't go to a doctor for mine it was caused by products I was using. I'd look at your products see if the ingredients have changed. If not I'd look at any changes you've made. I do agree with a previous post your hair could be going through an awkward growing phase. I'd let it grow out and I'd try benign neglect. Wear it up and forget it.

MsBubbles
December 31st, 2012, 10:49 AM
You're gonna roll your eyes at this but I think your hair is perfect. It fits your face, personality and body perfectly. Hardly any of us here have the hair genes to grow to a thick, ankle length curtain of hair like ripples on a cool, glassy lake. I adore your waves and volume. If I had your hair type I would adopt the tried and tested methods as per other wavy, fine LHCers and grow it to where I liked it the best.

Go and sit in a local bookstore or Walmart and check out the real world hair ends. The Cousin It ankle-length swishy ends are by far a rarity and mostly not reality for a good number of us.

DarleneH
December 31st, 2012, 11:00 AM
I think we are in the same boat.:) My hair is 2c/3a, starts wavy and ends up in ringlets. I have had massive shed for years, so my hair has thinned out significantly. My braids look very thin, like 2D, so to say...one inch wide, and not even 1 cm thick. My buns are tiny.

You could do a sock bun or one of those thingamabobs that are a piece of foam colored wire that are bendable. I don't know any name brands these days but I remember when they first came out they were called Hairdinis. That would plump up the bun.

Annibelle, I think your hair is gorgeous. I don't usually like fairytale ends because I'm always afraid it's really damaged and broken ends, but yours looks great. After all your cuts, then ends look healthy.

feb26
December 31st, 2012, 11:25 AM
Your hair is gorgeous-as is! Don't worry about the thickness at the ends...some of us have thick ends, some don't. My ends are v similair to yours, except they curl up more into themselves. I LOVE the definition your curls/waves have. As long as the ends aren't splitting, embrace what you have & what your hair does.

savfairy
December 31st, 2012, 11:32 AM
I think your hair is very lovely! I agree with others who have said continue to grow while doing occasional trims.

bunzfan
December 31st, 2012, 11:51 AM
I think your waves are lovely and somehow the FTE go with your hair but if its making you un happy about your hair i was the same way last year have you thought about maintaining?? i did that for a whole year and the thickness traveled down and its so much thicker now, i roughly took a 1/2 a month off and it still grew.

Sillage
December 31st, 2012, 12:34 PM
But but but I LOVE your hair Annibelle! To me, especially in the second pic it is goth perfection. However, I respect that you want your dream hair. I don't have any real advice because it looks like a situation where the is issue is growth and I'm not sure how to go about making hair grow more. I just wanted to say, that like many other people on the forum I'm a fan of your hair :)

infinity_girl
December 31st, 2012, 12:36 PM
You could try taking MSM which lengthens your hairs anagen phase. This might help avoid your shorter hairs falling out earlier if for some reason they are going into the telogen phase earlier than others?

rach
December 31st, 2012, 12:49 PM
Hormones, diet, stress ? not sure. Maintaining and patience is the only way to tell long term and looking carefully at these few factors and see if anything can be changed.
Hormones made me visibly shed after my DS8, spiky and long hair combo drove me mad for a good few months :-/
My mum went through a period of mass stress and naturally without cutting it (ends not split) went to shoulder length which made me very concerned for her in health in general. After the stress factor subsided it grew again.
I envy your ponytail, that is something i've never personally been able to look right for more the 5 minutes.

heatherovka
December 31st, 2012, 12:56 PM
I think your hair is beautiful! I have always admired the shiny waves in your siggy! I have the same issue with the last 4 inches of my hair - this is my second time going from BSL to waist because of it. The first year I trimmed often. The second year, not at all until I chopped off 4 inches at the end of the year, and both with the same result. I wish I knew why because I would like a thick and somewhat blunt hem...

I wish I had good advice, but I am still trying to figure it out too. This year I am going to do more deep treatments, trim an inch or less every 4 months, and try to be better about wearing it up in general, and protecting it during sleep (this is a habit that is pretty hard for me to change, I am most comfy with it down for sleep, though it's probably pretty hard on my hair).

Do what you think will make you happiest. :o Good luck!

heatherovka
December 31st, 2012, 01:21 PM
Ok, sorry, I want to elaborate a little more. :blushing:

In my case, I'm not sure if it is damaged at the ends. I tend to get splits, no matter what I do, and always have. So the thin ends are something I don't know if I can change or not.

I decided I had two choices: Keep growing to my goal of hip, even if that meant possibly thin, sad ends, then try to maintain/improve ends from there. Or, cut off the thin ends yet again, wear it wavy, enjoy it more, stop actively trying to grow it.

I don't know if that helps at all, you may decide you have more or different choices... For now I'm still trying for hip, thin ends or not. :D

Mischamiu
December 31st, 2012, 01:51 PM
I actually love your hair, specially on the second photo it's so beautiful :thud:

AnnaB
December 31st, 2012, 04:13 PM
your hair looks beautiful!!!

Annibelle
December 31st, 2012, 04:29 PM
Thank you all for the sweet words and helpful advice. :flowers: I don't know what I'd do without you!

It's reassuring to know that I'm not the only one with this weird problem. I think I'm going to trim and maintain until summer, and then see if I'd rather keep maintaining (if it looks like the growth is moving downward), or just go ahead and work toward hip again.

You all have brightened my rather sad day, so thank you. :flower: Sometimes I don't know what I'd do without LHC.

browneyedsusan
December 31st, 2012, 04:40 PM
It is drop dead gorgeous the way it sits. Really. Honestly. Truly. :)

lilliemer
December 31st, 2012, 05:25 PM
Your hair is pretty and it looks healthy. If you took that much length off and still have really thin ends it has to be the cut. I was getting 'curly hair' cuts for years and I couldn't figure out why my hair evaporated at the ends and didn't grow. It's because they shred the ends when they cut. Yes, it accentuates the curl but you end up with fairy-tailing. It can look good either way but if you want a thicker hemline then you have to stop the deva-style cuts. I am in the middle of a grow-out from this type of cut myself. I still have a very pronounced 'U' hem and tons of layers left over but the hemline is thickening up thanks to a good stylist who understands the problem. I just showed her my braid and she got it. I did the math and it's going to take me a good 3 years to get an even hemline at waist without heat damage (i'm just above bsl now). It is a process for sure...But your hair is lovely and I'm sure will look nice no matter what direction you decide to go with the hem!

drquartz1970
December 31st, 2012, 07:18 PM
My two cents: i have both curly and wavy hair texture. The wavy is on top with the curly hair underneath. I have thickness until the last 8 inches or so. My wavy hair appears longer whereas the more curly shrinks up. Having both hair textures on the same head gives the appearance of being in layers. I started growing hair only nearly 5 years ago. My curly hair is slowly creeping down whereas my more wavy hair is already ahead of it. Just be patient and see what happens.