Mother / Daughter hair cutting conversation

[PF Graham]

So, I'm sitting at Whole Foods having lunch - easily the greatest place to have lunch because they have a bar right smack in the middle of the store so it feels like you're doing something good and organic for you liver.

Anyway, a women and her daughter sit down and the mother continues what sound like a long conversation with (TO) her daughter.

The mother is probably in her early 40's and the daughter is probably 15 - 16 years old. The daughter, a cute girl has noticeably long, healthy, well kept long hair - I can never remember the length distinctions but I would say right above her waist - very thick hair.

So, ...

Mother '.... just look around, do you see other girls with long hair, look at how they keep it.'
Girl - munching on sandwich...
Mother 'It's just that, you know, I think you might want a more big girl style (she said 'style' like it was ketchup slowly flowing out of a bottle), you know, something that shows your face more, that makes you look more pretty...'.
Girl - munch, munch, looking around, munch munch
Mother (somewhat exasperated at her daughter's lack of attention) 'C, can we talk about this, you need a style that let's the boys know you are not a little girl, with braids and long hair, serious, you know, more like a young women, C, are you listening to me, we can go after lunch, I can make an appointment at my salon, I know they will take you right in....'.
Girl -munch, wonder, munch, wonder.
Mother 'C!'.
Girl - puts her sandwich down, wipes her mouth and says 'Mother, long hair is a style!'. Picks up sandwich...
Mother '......'

God I love strong willed girls! Mostly because they become kick ass women.

[SerinaDaith]

Right on! The mom sounds likely mom. When she was dying my hair she would buy me dye when she quit dye she would fuss about me dying. Obviously this girl is way ahead of me in the tell mom to back off thing then I am even now as an adult with kids of her own :shake:

[Natalia]

love that!

[akilina]

That is great she was so firm on it.

It saddens me though that A mother would be encouraging her young daughter (sorry, 16 IS YOUNG.) to try to show herself off to boys, As well as the "look more pretty" and "big girl" thing.

Generally, from what I have learned from my own mom, moms never want their baby girls to grow up although inevitable, and especially DON'T want boys looking at her like that, or to "let them know shes not a little girl" :( And I am sure a mother thinks her children are the most beautiful thing in the world...so its sad that she is telling her daughter that she needs to do something to be more pretty.
It saddens me, but its not my life so its whatever.

[auburntressed]

That is great she was so firm on it.

It saddens me though that A mother would be encouraging her young daughter (sorry, 16 IS YOUNG.) to try to show herself off to boys, As well as the "look more pretty" and "big girl" thing.
Yeaaah, that seemed a little odd to me as well. But hey, there are all kinds of moms out there.

When I was that age, there wouldn't have been any discussion on the matter. My mom would have simply said, "This is what I have chosen will be done with your hair. No arguments." Then I would have been required to comply, no matter how much I whined and moaned that it wasn't what I wanted.

[akilina]

Yeaaah, that seemed a little odd to me as well. But hey, there are all kinds of moms out there.

When I was that age, there wouldn't have been any discussion on the matter. My mom would have simply said, "This is what I have chosen will be done with your hair. No arguments." Then I would have been required to comply, no matter how much I whined and moaned that it wasn't what I wanted.
You are right..there are all sorts out there, and that is okay. I feel really lucky that I was always encouraged to do my own thing when it came to hair and clothing and the aesthetics in general.

[RavennaNight]

Parents can be overbearing about their kids' hairstyles. It's a shame in this case the mom is encouraging the daughter to follow the herd.

[clanless]

when I was in junior high, I had a friend who had ashy roots growing out of her blond hair. I asked her how that was possible (I didn't know girls dyed their hair), she told me that it had to be colored and that her 'gray' roots are her natural color. I asked her why not just keep the color, and she said she wanted to, it's just that her mom forced her to color her hair. She was scared of her mom, go figure.

[Rosetta]

Obviously this girl is way ahead of me in the tell mom to back off thing then I am even now as an adult with kids of her own :shake:
The same here ;) Although I do try (all the time), but she only takes everything like that as a huge offense to her... :shrug:



when I was in junior high, I had a friend who had ashy roots growing out of her blond hair. I asked her how that was possible (I didn't know girls dyed their hair), she told me that it had to be colored and that her 'gray' roots are her natural color. I asked her why not just keep the color, and she said she wanted to, it's just that her mom forced her to color her hair. She was scared of her mom, go figure.
That does sound scary - dying a child's hair is very unhealthy for them, and I would say unnatural too...

[Celtic Morla]

Good for that young lady! I have a 16 close to 17 year old who has waist length hair(wetrim to waist because it is soo heavy!) and she likes her hair long I do have issues with trying to get her to do any braiding(she says it hurts fater a while) and keeping it clean looking but I amin no rush for her to worry about reltionships she tends to be asexual as it is. Her sister was obsessed with boys so itis kind of nice she is only interested n things she wants to do(read, play games) Most people think she is much younger than her age ecauseof her hair and lack of makeup but that is their problem!

[Merlin]

Perhaps the mother was concerned that that daughter might not be going out with boys for a reason (qv 'But I'm a Cheerleader')
If the girl was 15 then it wouldn't have mattered what her mother said, she was going to be disagreed with :-)

[Beatnik Guy]

'Mother, long hair is a style!'.
:rockerdud

[Lostsoule77]

It's sad that parents are still trying to mess with a teens style in this day and age where so much is acceptable. Good for the daughter! I'm with Beatnik Guy. :)

[noelgirl]

When I was entering middle school, one of the counselors at the orientation said something to the parents to the effect of "You know why teens spend so much time on their hair? Because it's the one thing they have control of." That's right about the time my parents gave up the fight on my hair, and decided to pick their battles. The one phrasing that was a bit alarming to me was "you might want . . ." Kind of manipulative, for the mother to try and project her wants onto her daughter.

And kids get enough peer pressure to conform at that age. If she's happy and assured enough in her preference that her peers haven't swayed her, any mother should be thrilled that their teen girl is secure in who she is, because that is rare. When I was in 10th grade, an acquaintance tried to tell me how she thought I should cut my hair, and I was not interested. Her response was, "Oh come on! Just tell your mom that you'd like a little haircut," as if to assume that my mom was making me keep my hair long! If only she knew! I might have laughed in her face after that, I don't really remember.

[Curly Hermione]

I agree with noelgirl, good for the daughter! And I completely agree with the "hair being the only thing they can control" thing. In fact, I think I've used that exact argument in a hair "discussion" with my mother!

[Green Eyes]

Awesome!!! Sounds like a convo between me n my mother lol

[jacqueline101]

I love it way to go for the girl stand up be accounted for.

[Seeshami]

Wow... I am so glad my Mommy started the lets go long and then continued when all of us daughters jumped on board. BTW Mommy was going to chopchop the Benevolent Silkies (Mommy's Hair is the opposite of The Naughty Mess) and Daddy said "I don't think so". It was pretty cute Daddy fawning over and defending the Benevolent Silkies.

[melusine963]

I'm so glad this story has a happy ending. I was preparing for it to end with an appointment being made...

[herdaughter77]

Oh, yeah!! You go girl!! :cheer:

[ArienEllariel]

That's pretty awesome I must say. I know not everyone is that opinionated/able to voice said opinions forcefully at that age.

[HintOfMint]

Good for that girl! She has some chutzpah!

Mothers usually try to influence their daughter's style somewhat, my own mother does this (put on some lipstick, just a little!), but much of this conversation is just foreign to me. The parts about looking like other girls and the part about appealing to boys is so weird. Ny mother would think that trying to be trendy like everyone else meant my priorities were out of whack and she actively discouraged me from dating until a much later age. It was only this year that my mother thought it was nice that I had gone on a date this semester. I'm 25. Again, priorities. I thought mothers tried to impart good values on their daughters and not the value of being some trend-chasing boy-crazy girl.