Hair-arranging etiquette

[WaitingSoLong]

Ok, so if one is getting up in front of people and intends to wear her hair loose, how much hair arranging is acceptable?

I can have my hair perfectly arranged sitting, and just by getting up and walking to the stage, it manages to wrap all around me and strangle me or something. By smoothing it back out, which usually requires a bit of finger combing or something, I fear it gives the impression I am flaunting my hair. Nevermind it draws attention just BEING.

When I wear my hair loose out, I am constantly having to detangle or gather my hair back where it belongs. It just has a mind of its own. I had a speaking engagement a few weeks ago and felt I was constantly manipulating my hair throughout the dinner. When it was time for me to speak, I tried really hard not to touch my hair but have NO clue what it ended up looking like up front.

My solution is to never wear my hair down. But then....what IS the point???

And I just have to point out, that I carefully watch other people with really long hair. I swear, it always stays where it is supposed to and just glides across their back like silk and never tangles, never reaches around to hook itself into their mouth, never gets wrapped under their armpits or caught around their neck.

We were at my dd's band concert last night and I just DROOLED over this one young woman's hip length hair. It was straight & silky, thick, heavy, and she flipped her head around and it always fell perfectly back in place. I even wear friction-reducing attire (silky shirts or the like) and this would never happen with my hair. I think my hair is hopelessly fine and tangly :( My dd's hair is also tangle-less like this. She FLAT IRONS nowadays and I swear....this is the secret....and I will never know because I refuse to apply heat to my hair like that! Her hair is shorter, about mid back now, but it still just glides and flips and moves like a waterfall.

[afu]

My hair has a mind of it's own too, it's like a crazy beast! And i'm only at waist so I wonder what it will get up to when it's longer.

I've only straightened my hair twice this year, but when i do my hair behaves itself the whole time - which almost tempts me to do it more often

[GrowingGlory]

If you wore a knot at the nape of your neck and allowed the rest to flow from it as if it were a ponytail it might move more smoothly and stay out of your way.

[Narya]

My hair tries to strangle myself if I let it free, too. Also, they few times I've flat-ironed it (two times that I remember) it behaved, so there might be something to it.

Anyway, I've found out that, even if it does get into my eyes, mouth, around my neck and all over the place... other people tend to not notice much. What I thought was and awful mess, other people have complimented me on. I still do not wear my hair loose much, because it is annoying, but other people won't notice it is misbehaving.
Could it be that you are feeling / seeing it worse than other people do?

[WaitingSoLong]

Could it be that you are feeling / seeing it worse than other people do?

Possibly. How would I know?

How much hair adjusting would one have to do before you would be thinking "gee, she has some vanity issues there"?

[browneyedsusan]

Having met you when you had it loose, you did adjust it more often than most people. The braid waves didn't seem to bother you as much. That said; I also didn't get any vanity vibe--but I also completely missed the bi**h vibe! It made sense to me that you would need to adjust it often, just because it is so long, but I can understand how the general public could get the wrong perception.

I don't know of an easy solution. I'd want to wear my hair loose sometimes too, else why in the heck would you bother growing it long? For me, I'd just say it out loud; "I like to wear my hair down sometimes, because it looks nice, but please forgive my frequent finger combing. It tangles up easily when it's loose, and will get wrapped around things if I don't keep after it."

Maybe you could make a banded ponytail a little way down--APL?--, and wrap a little section of hair around the hair tie to hide it? --or is "ponytail" a dirty word for long hairs?

For what it's worth, I feel like I'm constantly flicking my hair out of my collar. It jumps in there every time I turn my head.

[sparrowswing]

First, if I were in a formal setting, including standing in front of most groups of people to speak about pretty much anything, I'd put my hair up. Like yours, my hair has a mind of its own and gets into anything and everything. It also has occasional murderous tendencies, trying to strangle me in my sleep and whatnot (this is why I don't wear braids to bed anymore). If it's a situation where I have to focus on something important or just have a put-together appearance, I go with a bun and that's that. What's the point then? Well, those are more formal situations. I also don't wear my hair down much at home. But in casual situations I wear it down a fair amount. Not to restaurants, usually, but elsewhere. Especially conventions and concerts. Sure, they both involve crowds and the potential of someone touching my hair, but they also both involve being around other people who love long hair and actually appreciate it rather than thinking it's an issue of vanity or just plain gross.

I will say that you almost certainly notice it more than those around you. You notice the little strands wrapping around everything from your face to the doorknob. You notice it getting caught in your shoestrings or the car door. You notice it getting caught on itself and rolling into little rings that will eventually turn into delightful little rats' nests. And each time you notice these things, you adjust. Hair caught in your armpit, first you have to tug it out of there, then you have to put it back where it belongs, then you have to smooth everything out so the next few movements don't send it into knot-tying mode. But to 99.9% of observers, it's a tiny, barely significant amount of movement. Like with any other sort of fidgeting, you don't want to do too much, but how much is too much is entirely situational.

[kaydana]

You could try that trick where you fasten the very front sections in a ponytail at the nape of your neck under the rest of your hair. This keeps your hair somewhat contained while looking like it's loose and just tucked behind your ears.

[Carolyn]

FWIW I love to see long haired people arranging their hair. It fascinates me. I agree on the flar iron thing. My hair never behaves better than when it's flat ironed.

[WaitingSoLong]

The flat ironing really is a curious issue! It is like you are beating your hair into submission LOL. I have never flat ironed my hair.

I am trying to decide when it IS appropriate to wear it down. I agree, for speaking from now on, it will go up. I wore it down to a concert and it was obnoxious. It is always obnoxious when down.

I am thinking this is just one more reason to cut back to a more wearable length. At this point I think my cons outweigh my pros on this length.

[spidermom]

My hair is all over the place, too. That's one of the reasons that I wear it up and/or braided a lot. What's the point? Because there are a lot of really lovely and eye-catching things you can do with long hair that contains it and keeps it out of the way. AND there's the pleasure of taking it down, too.

Occasionally I do wear it down just because I feel like it. Other than flipping it to the back when it falls forward, I do my best to keep my hands out of it. It really annoys me when I'm with someone who is constantly fritzing around with their hair (no matter what length).

[trolleypup]

FWIW I love to see long haired people arranging their hair. It fascinates me. I agree on the flat iron thing. My hair never behaves better than when it's flat ironed.I'd be the worst hypocrite if I condemned others for doing exactly what I do. My hair isn't completely out of control...to thick and coarse to get everywhere, but it certainly doesn't fall back to the correct position either. If I need to be not fidgeting with it, I either put it up or ponytail it...although these days, if it is being naughty, it still has a pretty good reach when ponytailed.

I've never flatironed, but I imagine the process of aligning and bheating into submission would lead to better behavior.

[WaitingSoLong]

Yeah and my hair is just as unruly in a ponytail. Actually, it is worse. It does do better, like BES said, with braid waves. The wavier, the less it misbehaves.

I also get nape knots if it is braided. Parandi help, but yesterday I wore a braid all day and had two horrid nape knots. No wonder my nape "term" is about shoulder length.

But BUNS are so boring. Seriously, to everyone around me they ALL look the same. Like a knot. To us, we see infinity, cinnabun. etc. Anything else seems to require hair damaging things, like barrettes. I used to love to wear a barrette. I have tried so many things and I just always go back to buns.

[Chromis]

I agree with Spidermom!

Also, even if others don't see the difference in updos (you'd be surprised though, they may not comment each time, but over time if you keep wearing a variety of styles, people are bound to mention something), they can very much see different hairtoys. There is such a variety of sticks and forks out there!

For formal events and speaking engagements, I would always say hair up. It is distracting when people fidget while they are talking and takes the focus from your words. Plus, as a female, I've noticed people take women who appear to be "playing with their hair" far, far less seriously.

[spidermom]

I do agree that a bun is a bun is a bun, but you can do a series of buns. And/or add braided accents. And/or pincurl-type accents (as in rockabilly styles). Etc.

[WaitingSoLong]

I do like my dualies but have always wondered if I look funny with them because of my age.

I always forget about braid accents. I have actually never tried those before.

[GrowingGlory]

I hope that you don't cut it, but, of course, it is your hair, not mine! Maybe you could use a leave-in before styling to avoid nape tangles. A professional styling sounds like an ideal solution for a one-time social engagement.

[white.chocolate]

Before joining the LHC (when I joined I had TB length hair), I was in the habit of CONSTANTLY keeping my hair down. It wasn't even in a ponytail. Just side parted so it didn't look so plain.
Right now, I occasionally leave my hair down, except in overly crowded places, because as you said, what's the point? I like leaving my hair down, it's the most comfortable. When my hair is down, it does not bother me unless I need to do some work that requires a lot moving around and bending. So, I think you just need some getting used to. Sure, hair tangles, but that can be fixed later.

If you're worried that people might think you like flaunting your hair, try not to play with it too much. Besides, long hair down is just long hair down. Also, your hair is very pretty and neat-looking when down, so why not let others marvel at your hair a little just like you did at the girl's hip length hair.

ETA: You could also put some bobby pins in front to keep your hair behind you.

[SlightlySoprano]

I also have fine hair that tangles easily, although not nearly as long as yours (juuuust touching BSL now), but when I wear it down it also blows around and wraps around me and tangles.

This might sound absolutely ridiculous, but I often check the weather to see how windy it will be in order to decide if its worth it!

In terms of wearing it down indoors, I tend to clip the top half back using the little baby clips available at drug stores (yes my hair is that thin)

In the winter, I also use -cones to add some slip so that if it does wrap itself around my neck, I can just shake it loose. I definitely have the urge to touch it/move it/comb it out, but I resist. I realize that most people don't see what WE see in terms of messy hair. Also, I know the excess manipulation can damage my baby fine hair.

Also... Don't be afraid to carry a comb and excuse yourself to the ladies room every so often if you need to fix! I have a BBB/wooden comb with me in my teaching bag all day!

[spidermom]

Oh - regarding nape tangles - I usually end up bunning my braid to avoid them.

[Seeshami]

When the Naughty Mess is aloud to be down he has several arranging. I generally only do it on oil days because it helps with static and crazy knots. I will also french braid to the nape of my neck and then leave the rest free in a ponytail and that helps a little. I have also found twisting it and pulling it over my shoulder works the best. Because I can keep it twisted all day long with adjustments through out the day. However the Naughty Mess always has different plans and ends up getting tossed in a bun. He looks best that way.

[Dovetail]

The one bit of advice I have is to practice speaking at home with your hair down and FILM it. Then watch it later and you'll see what you look like. I had to do this for my university class and oh man I had to hide in a room and watch it alone because I was so embarrassed of myself. I'm not a very good public speaker though. Any ways, my point being that you'll be able to see how your hair looks, and how often you touch. I don't really have any advice on controlling it though.

[jacqueline101]

I think if someone wears their hair loose you can arrange when you are standing and sitting. Other then that leave it.

[browneyedsusan]

what are dualies?
Two somethings.... buns? --over/under or side by side?

FWIW--two buns are super cute! The older you are, the cuter they look! Can you imagine a little old lady sporting those? cutsie! The minute my hair is long enough, it's going up in those!

[Aliped]

I agree with everything above. What I like to do if I'm wearing it down is have brushed out braid waves - its so poofy and volumous that one flip behind my shoulders keeps it away from my face. The brushing out is probably not good, but It can't be as bas as heat and I do try to be gentle... For public speaking though, it is ALWAYS constrained in a knot!

[Narya]

Possibly. How would I know?

How much hair adjusting would one have to do before you would be thinking "gee, she has some vanity issues there"?

Maybe Dovetail suggestion would work: you could film yourself, watch it and let a friend or your partner watch it too, and then compare how did you feel, how did you see yourself and how did your friend/partner see you.
Personally, I am sure I touch my hair too much with my hair when it's down, but I never get any vanity issue when others play with theirs, unless its coupled with affected speaking or other signals. Specially if they just readjust the hair and put it back in its place.

I agree, though, that for public speaking I'd keep it up, mostly because fidgeting with it generally conveys nervousness.

I hope you find a solution, because your hair is very pretty and it would be a pity if you couldn't wear it down comfortably. :)

[moxamoll]

My hair is unruly when it's loose too. Flat ironing helps and I remember the days when I could use salon products, that the weight and slip of them helped as well. I agree with Seeshami - if I'm wearing it down and I need it to behave for a while, I gather it over one shoulder and give it a twist or two. As long as I'm not really active, it stays there fairly well and looks ok. Otherwise, I'm a fidgeter - that's part of why I like having it long! If I'm in a formal setting, I leave it alone - otherwise, if you don't like seeing me fidget don't watch! LOL

[Sillage]

But BUNS are so boring.

Sputtering @ this blasphemy!!!!!!

Seriously, tho I agree that wearing your hair up for speaking is a good idea. You don't want to project the wrong image.

[neko_kawaii]

But BUNS are so boring.


Sputtering @ this blasphemy!!!!!!


LOL I thought the whole point of long hair was elaborate updos.

[Iolanthe13]

Regardless of whether you play with it, my opinion is that hair should be up any time you are communicating to a large number of people (whether speaking or singing or playing an instrument). Half-up is nice if you really want to wear it down. But having your hair up in a bun does three good things for you: 1) you won't have to rearrange it or fidget with it, 2) people focus on you rather than your hair, and 3) having your face and neck fully exposed makes you look more confident.

[Sillage]

LOL I thought the whole point of long hair was elaborate updos.

Come sit next to me Neko...

http://i.imgur.com/2968p.jpg

Stuff like this gets my heart to go pitter-pat. Trust me WSL, if you showed up with the 'do above no one would think it boring ;) :)

[neko_kawaii]

Come sit next to me Neko...



Oh! Please do that to my hair! *sits obediently*

[AutumnLocks]

This is exactly the same reason I don't wear mine down much. Once in a while I do tho just in honor of DH because he likes it that way.

[WaitingSoLong]

what are dualies?
Two somethings.... buns? --over/under or side by side?

FWIW--two buns are super cute! The older you are, the cuter they look! Can you imagine a little old lady sporting those? cutsie! The minute my hair is long enough, it's going up in those!

Ok BES, next time we have coffee I will wear my dualies if I can remember. Yes, twin buns. Not my best dualy pic but the onyl one I can find at the mo since albums are still down. And I don't want to have to gt a disk out and load it on the PC.
http://i393.photobucket.com/albums/pp17/Poetry4me75/P1030543.jpg


LOL I thought the whole point of long hair was elaborate updos.

HA! um...no, not for me.

The point of long hair was to have long hair. LOL. It has to at least be long enough to put up for the sake of working and whatnot.

Ok I agree I will wear my hair up from now on for speaking/presentation type stuff. Honestly, though, people remember me because of my hair. I confess to using that to my advantage when I think I need to make an impression on someone. I agree it may detract from what I have to say, but darn it, they ALWAYS remember me.

I compromise a lot of times with a braid. Parandi have a nice effect. I wore one today for my tax appeal hearing. (What a boring and futile experience, btw)

A lot of those elaborate updo's require tons of hairspray. I don't use hairspray at all. And since I have no curl, the whole "wisps around the face softens the look" thing comes off more like "she drove here with her window down and has no mirror". :P

I did run across a hybrid bun I did once that looks nice. Still...from the front...up or back always means "looks bald". Ponytail, braid, whatever. If I am going to look bald all the time, why not just BE bald. Ok...exaggerating a bit...

Anyway, when I was griping to DH about to-cut or not-to-cut last week, he said "regardless of how long your hair it, it will still look the same from the front". Sobering, yet very true.

And yet I saw a woman with knee+ length red hair today completely loose...FTE's after about mid thigh... To say I stared....:brains:

[CurlyCurves]

Ha, I have to rearrange all the time. I wear it loose every day. To smooth away frizz, to 'puff it up' so it's not flat and to move a curl to its rightful place. And, now I'm almost BSL, my hair gets caught everywhere, especially under my bag. I sometimes feel self conscious that people think I'm vain but *shrug*

I just adore your hair, WSL. It reminds me of my tutor's. She has beautiful waist-hip (can't remember now! - I'll check tomorrow) straight blond hair. I've never seen it loose but I'm sure it looks just as beautiful as yours.

[CurlyCurves]

Ok BES, next time we have coffee I will wear my dualies if I can remember. Yes, twin buns. Not my best dualy pic but the onyl one I can find at the mo since albums are still down. And I don't want to have to gt a disk out and load it on the PC.
http://i393.photobucket.com/albums/pp17/Poetry4me75/P1030543.jpg



HA! um...no, not for me.

The point of long hair was to have long hair. LOL. It has to at least be long enough to put up for the sake of working and whatnot.

Ok I agree I will wear my hair up from now on for speaking/presentation type stuff. Honestly, though, people remember me because of my hair. I confess to using that to my advantage when I think I need to make an impression on someone. I agree it may detract from what I have to say, but darn it, they ALWAYS remember me.

I compromise a lot of times with a braid. Parandi have a nice effect. I wore one today for my tax appeal hearing. (What a boring and futile experience, btw)

A lot of those elaborate updo's require tons of hairspray. I don't use hairspray at all. And since I have no curl, the whole "wisps around the face softens the look" thing comes off more like "she drove here with her window down and has no mirror". :P

I did run across a hybrid bun I did once that looks nice. Still...from the front...up or back always means "looks bald". Ponytail, braid, whatever. If I am going to look bald all the time, why not just BE bald. Ok...exaggerating a bit...

Anyway, when I was griping to DH about to-cut or not-to-cut last week, he said "regardless of how long your hair it, it will still look the same from the front". Sobering, yet very true.

And yet I saw a woman with knee+ length red hair today completely loose...FTE's after about mid thigh... To say I stared....:brains:

Omg .. so beautiful..

[Sillage]

Oh! Please do that to my hair! *sits obediently*


LOL I wish I had the skills to do a sakko! Sit next to me anyway tho because we're in the Bun Lovers Club ;)

WSL, I get your point about hairspray etc although personally I like messy, textual hair. Here's one of my favorite looks (taken backstage at Dior)

http://i.imgur.com/dENl7.jpg

I think it looks, effortless, chic, and edgey.

[jasper]

I remember a coworker with knee length hair giving a presentation. She always wore her hair down at work. It was distracting to me that she kept taking up her length and knotting it in half in a sort slip knot and hanging it over her shoulder during the presentation. It would slip out and she would knot it again. I thought she was kind of nervous about presenting and wasn't aware of what she was doing.

[LisaButz2001]

Two things worked for me: cutting it back to waist from classic and headbands. When I teach it's always in a bun. I'm only tempted to fiddle with it, if it's loose or in a ponytail.

[neko_kawaii]

LOL I wish I had the skills to do a sakko! Sit next to me anyway tho because we're in the Bun Lovers Club ;)

WSL, I get your point about hairspray etc although personally I like messy, textual hair. Here's one of my favorite looks (taken backstage at Dior)

I think it looks, effortless, chic, and edgey.

Goodness! It just makes me want to see it from the back!

I have never owned hairspray and can't see the necessity. (Goodness, I think the last time it was used on my hair was for a play in high school when someone else did my hair and I really can't think why it would have been necessary. I do understand the "feeling bald" bit and like to put buns low behind my ears (symmetric or asymmetric). My mom does this twist thing with the sides which gives Gibson like poof and volume to her plain braids. I have tried to copy her and just end up with these flat things that hug my scalp, I think she has an advantage on us there by being a curly. Also, I just recently learned the Flipped Bun and noticed that it makes the hair on the front sides pooch out a little bit in a way I quite like.

There are so many ways of putting hair up. *squee* (Is my enthusiasm contagious yet?)

[Dovetail]

Oh Goodness WSL! Your Dualies look so adorable!! I also *LOVE* that Dior look! Oh gosh.

I ended up getting a fringe since I have a longish forehead and when I had my hair back I DID look bald and I couldn't stand it anymore :p

[AineMuirne]

Ok I agree I will wear my hair up from now on for speaking/presentation type stuff. Honestly, though, people remember me because of my hair. I confess to using that to my advantage when I think I need to make an impression on someone. I agree it may detract from what I have to say, but darn it, they ALWAYS remember me.

Lol! I do this, too. I wore my hair down to my college recruitment interview and I'm now on the final interview stage and I'm convinced that they remember me because of my hair, hahaha (or maybe it's just because I'm a girl). Now I can't decide if I want to wear it down to the final interview, because it's an all day interview. Most days my hair does behave, but sometimes it does not... and I don't want to fiddle with it all day, lol.

[spirals]

When I wear mine down I do fiddle with the front layers, which are at chin length. That is the only reason they fall in my face. The rest of it, as short as it is--mid-back wet, BSL dry--stays behind me. Why? Because curly, pouffy hair moves as one mass. It sticks together, velcroed to itself. Your hair is so perfectly straight that the hairs can move independently, which means hair everywhere. It should stay behind you because of the length, but that only works in theory.
Given all that, if you really want to wear it down, pull 1/2 to 2/3 of it back in a half-up.

[hairhair]

http://rapunzelsresource.wordpress.com/2010/01/05/how-to-wear-your-hair-down/

Just discovered this! Works great at my length (APL+) with a similar hairtype and I don't see why it wouldn't still work quite well at Classic+.

[browneyedsusan]

Ok BES, next time we have coffee I will wear my dualies if I can remember. Yes, twin buns. Not my best dualy pic but the onyl one I can find at the mo since albums are still down. And I don't want to have to gt a disk out and load it on the PC.
http://i393.photobucket.com/albums/pp17/Poetry4me75/P1030543.jpg



HA! um...no, not for me.

The point of long hair was to have long hair. LOL. It has to at least be long enough to put up for the sake of working and whatnot.

Ok I agree I will wear my hair up from now on for speaking/presentation type stuff. Honestly, though, people remember me because of my hair. I confess to using that to my advantage when I think I need to make an impression on someone. I agree it may detract from what I have to say, but darn it, they ALWAYS remember me.

I compromise a lot of times with a braid. Parandi have a nice effect. I wore one today for my tax appeal hearing. (What a boring and futile experience, btw)

A lot of those elaborate updo's require tons of hairspray. I don't use hairspray at all. And since I have no curl, the whole "wisps around the face softens the look" thing comes off more like "she drove here with her window down and has no mirror". :P

I did run across a hybrid bun I did once that looks nice. Still...from the front...up or back always means "looks bald". Ponytail, braid, whatever. If I am going to look bald all the time, why not just BE bald. Ok...exaggerating a bit...

Anyway, when I was griping to DH about to-cut or not-to-cut last week, he said "regardless of how long your hair it, it will still look the same from the front". Sobering, yet very true.

And yet I saw a woman with knee+ length red hair today completely loose...FTE's after about mid thigh... To say I stared....:brains:

Those are absolutely darling! I rest my case.

[HumanBean]

I wear my hair up for presentations. It's almost MBL now. I have fringe in front, which I have decided I will keep as long as I have my hair long. For Halloween I was Princess Leia, so tucked my fringe up since she doesn't have any, and it just looks too severe on me. The bangs soften everything. Then I have shorter pieces I can leave down also, to further soften the sides.

For updos that I want to show from the front, I do a LOT of topknots. I like them messy and casual. Twice this week (my birthday and company office party yesterday) , I did top knots with the ends loose and curled, which was very fun and could be seen from all angles. Someone told me last night I looked like a movie star, so I think updos can still get you noticed!

[piffyanne]

You could try that trick where you fasten the very front sections in a ponytail at the nape of your neck under the rest of your hair. This keeps your hair somewhat contained while looking like it's loose and just tucked behind your ears.
This. Is. AMAZING. I will be doing this forever from now on.

[melusine963]

And I just have to point out, that I carefully watch other people with really long hair. I swear, it always stays where it is supposed to and just glides across their back like silk and never tangles, never reaches around to hook itself into their mouth, never gets wrapped under their armpits or caught around their neck.

This is probably because many people you see wearing their hair down only do it because they've styled it enough to know it will stay in place. Or they're just blessed with very smooth hair. Mine is way too fluffy to ever wear loose.

[lunalocks]

I have taken to arranging all my hair to the front of me on the right. It is perfect for sitting through long meetings where I often get it caught on the chair behind me. I only have to "fuss" with it once, and it's where I can keep an eye on it.

[GrowingGlory]

Maybe capturing it with a long barette at the nape would help. Friends with long hair used to double it (fold it under or over) before styling. Some tripled or quadrupled theirs. HTH.

[Ambystoma]

I know how you feel WaitingSoLong, I get self conscious when I sit on the tram with my hair down since I always gently move it over one shoulder (no rubbing on scratchy, dirty seats for me!) but I'm sure it just looks like I'm artfully presenting it out of vanity :( . I agree with others here too - when I straighten it, which is only for special occasions these days, it moves like liquid silk and is amazingly well behaved and requires no fiddling at all *sigh*

[seaj]

I like to wear my hair down to parties, but I can tell that many family members don't like to see me fuss with my hair at all. They really don't like the fact that my hair is long to begin with since it goes against the rules of the church they are members of. When let down, my hair gets kinda tangled/clumpy after a while and starts to get in the way of everything. Spin pins + a hair band always solve the issue.

I've read that ionic hair dryers and other ionic heat tools are suppose to seal the cuticle of the hair. Perhaps that is what allows heat styled hair to look shiny and move more freely without tangles.

[luxepiggy]

As a fellow straightie who LOVES wearing my hair down, I've devoted much thought to the issues raised in this thread.


Ok, so if one is getting up in front of people and intends to wear her hair loose, how much hair arranging is acceptable?
If you are speaking to a professional audience, no more than a couple of discreet tucks behind the ear, or very subtly pushing the length behind your shoulders at the very start. Any more starts to look like a nervous habit and you're probably going to lose a bit of credibility.


I can have my hair perfectly arranged sitting, and just by getting up and walking to the stage, it manages to wrap all around me and strangle me or something. By smoothing it back out, which usually requires a bit of finger combing or something, I fear it gives the impression I am flaunting my hair. Nevermind it draws attention just BEING.
It's true - long hair worn loose draws attention just BEING. In a professional setting, unfortunately, this is often suboptimal.


My solution is to never wear my hair down. But then....what IS the point???
My sentiments precisely! Although lately I've been sporting my newly-invented flipped pork twist, which, while technically an updo, shows off a bit of the length in a neatly contained fashion:
http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff33/shoppingpiglet/hair/French-pony-flip.jpg


And I just have to point out, that I carefully watch other people with really long hair. I swear, it always stays where it is supposed to and just glides across their back like silk and never tangles, never reaches around to hook itself into their mouth, never gets wrapped under their armpits or caught around their neck.

We were at my dd's band concert last night and I just DROOLED over this one young woman's hip length hair. It was straight & silky, thick, heavy, and she flipped her head around and it always fell perfectly back in place.

Keep in mind that a lot of those effortless-looking gestures take time/practice/experience to develop. My hair used to (mis)behave like you describe, getting caught on everything and never staying put. It took me lots of trial & error to figure out all the little head movements and adjustments that I now use automatically to manage my hair totally hands-free.


I even wear friction-reducing attire (silky shirts or the like) and this would never happen with my hair. I think my hair is hopelessly fine and tangly :( My dd's hair is also tangle-less like this. She FLAT IRONS nowadays and I swear....this is the secret....and I will never know because I refuse to apply heat to my hair like that! Her hair is shorter, about mid back now, but it still just glides and flips and moves like a waterfall.
Flat ironing smooths down and compacts the cuticle, reducing friction between the individual strands and allowing them to slip easily past one another without tangling. You can easily achieve a similar effect with a quality hair dryer, using a slim concentrator nozzle and the cold shot button. That's what I do (^(oo)^)v

[spidermom]

Nice style, luxepiggy. I love the color, too.

[WaitingSoLong]

You can easily achieve a similar effect with a quality hair dryer, using a slim concentrator nozzle and the cold shot button. That's what I do (^(oo)^)v

REEAAALYYYYY.....I may have to try this.

I do know how to move my hair somewhat without touching it, but there are always a few strands that get caught and left behind. I am not sure if speaking "professionally" is the proper term, but it is not exactly casual, so I am opting for the hair-up from now on. I do hate that from the front I look bald when my hair is back. I cannot do fringe/bangs. :::Shudder::: Not only can I not stand them, but I have a cowlick, and they look horrid on me anyway. Never mind the forehead acne. I thinkI want an impossible head of hair ;)

[Amygirl8]

First off- I completely agree on the flat-iron-fixing-all-problems notion. From what I've seen flat-ironed hair just doesn't tangle. I sort of get the same effect when I straighten my hair by wrapping it, but I don't think it's anywhere near the same.
When my hair is loose, my preferred method of keeping it in place is bringing it all to the front, either all on one side or divided in half on both. It's really quick to move, and prevents it from any major misbehaviour lol.

[Sillage]

My sentiments precisely! Although lately I've been sporting my newly-invented flipped pork twist, which, while technically an updo, shows off a bit of the length in a neatly contained fashion:
http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff33/shoppingpiglet/hair/French-pony-flip.jpg



I LOVE IT! LuxePiggy, that is a terrific style-- how did you do it?

[HereIGrowAgain]

...so I am opting for the hair-up from now on. I do hate that from the front I look bald when my hair is back. I cannot do fringe/bangs.

Maybe a dutch crown braid? I also saw a wrap braid where they pulled the plaits of the braid out to make it wider and more flat... like this (http://cdn.sheknows.com/lovingyou/filter/l/gallery/dutch_crown_braid.jpg) and wrap it around towards the front hairline.

When I'm having a bad hair day (today, actually), I do two dutch braids, both starting at the front hairline, off-center, and then wrapping around until they meet in the back behind one ear. Then I coil the length up and pin it in place. It gives a bit of height to the overall hairdo, but every last strand is contained within the braids. Positioning the bun behind the ear instead of at the back of the head makes the bun partially visible from the front, so it takes away the bald look. This is the basic idea (http://sugarpotbeauty.blogspot.com/2012/10/tutorial-twin-dutch-braid-updo.html), except you put the bun behind the ear that is on the side that has the part.

Otherwise, maybe you can find ideas on how to do something poofy in the front so the top isn't slicked down?

[Stagecoach]

I did run across a hybrid bun I did once that looks nice. Still...from the front...up or back always means "looks bald". Ponytail, braid, whatever. If I am going to look bald all the time, why not just BE bald. Ok...exaggerating a bit...

Anyway, when I was griping to DH about to-cut or not-to-cut last week, he said "regardless of how long your hair it, it will still look the same from the front". Sobering, yet very true.


This is what I keep thinking to myself as well. I don't particuarly like how I look with my hair in a plain bun, but then, I'd hate it in a pony tail, and I don't think I look nice with it down loose either.

I rarely wear mine loose. It too has a mind of it's own. But, when I do, I always get compliments! Plus, I like knowing I have long hair, and enjoy the process of caring for it.

Accent braids can make a big difference. As can changing your part. Also, there are nice natural hair pomades and gells that wont harm you hair and will give you more control for a wider variety of styles.

[Lostsoule77]

I have this problem a bit. My solution is to wear a half up. My hair is still down, but most of it generally stays behind my shoulders. ;)

[finzi]

I have an idea for you WSL. When I style my hair in pin curls my hair is SO much better behaved. I use a tiny amount of cone-free styling spray on each section before pinning it up. I do quite loose pin curls, so that they form something between a curl and a wave when released. I don't much hair (any more - huge shedding issues while taking BC pill :( ), so it only takes six sections to do my entire head. I spray each section VERY SPARINGLY, then wrap each section loosely around two fingers held together, pin, and sleep. I wake up in the morning to dry, styled, manageable hair. On the days I don't style, I get similar problems to the ones you've described!

The advantage of this method is that it avoids heat styling, if that's important to you.

[HereIGrowAgain]

How do you pin the curls to avoid pin crimps? I put the pin over the entire swirl... am I doing it wrong?

[browneyedsusan]

How do you pin the curls to avoid pin crimps? I put the pin over the entire swirl... am I doing it wrong?

Pin up less hair in each swirl, and use 2 pins in an x shape. I've had a few crimps, but not many. (My hair is shorter than yours, though.)

@WSL: I think your hair is probably too long for pin curls, but I'm just guessing. I've never heard of anyone with your length using them--you'd have to wrap 3 hairs per curl to get them small enough to pin down?

[embee]

I'm not sure the length is the problem. My friend, L, is *constantly* fiddling with her hair, finger combing, smoothing, adjusting. How long is her hair? Just barely below shoulder length, and it's wavy. There are loose hairs everywhere she goes, because of her finger combing. Very distracting and sorta icky.

Puts me in mind of men I sometimes see who are always smoothing the comb-over or something.

For public speaking/singing/performing, Iolanthe13 has nailed it, IMHO. :)

[finzi]

Even though my hair is only BSL and quite thin, the pin curls are quite chunky. That's the key to keeping the hair smooth and manageable. If I do smaller or tighter pin curls I don't get the same effect. So it may work very well with looooooooooooooong hair, perhaps even better if the aim is simply to achieve easier management, fewer tangles etc. Maybe add a dab of styling cream, leave-in conditioner etc. instead of the pseudo-hairspray I use.



How do you pin the curls to avoid pin crimps? I put the pin over the entire swirl... am I doing it wrong?


I start by rolling them the same way I would with hair rollers (you know, the velcro kind). I'm rubbish at explaining things so have taken pictures!

Step 1 - Imagine that the fingers you are wrapping the hair around are a hair roller. Start like this, you will be rolling the hair in the direction of the red arrow:
http://i1264.photobucket.com/albums/jj487/ubar1/Step1_zpsa2785680.jpg



Step 2 - When the section is rolled, it will be like this:
http://i1264.photobucket.com/albums/jj487/ubar1/Step2_zpsddf9d544.jpg



Step 3 - Remove fingers and place the hairgrip as shown by the red line, at the bottom of the curl, against the scalp:
http://i1264.photobucket.com/albums/jj487/ubar1/Step3_zps4917c743.jpg


Now you will gently push the curl in a horizontal direction so that it lies flat against your head. It will still be round, you're not squashing it flat in a vertical position. You're moving the same direction as my finger is pointing that last photo. Use another pin to secure it against the head. If you won't be sleeping with them in you can skip this last step, just leave them and wander around the house looking like a 1950's housewife with her hair in rollers. :D

Does that help?

[HereIGrowAgain]

Awesome! Thank you, finzi!

[QMacrocarpa]

I don't find that all updos look the same from the front (disclaimer: card-carrying updo-fan here! ;) ). Some examples:

Side-by-side buns like your "duallies" tend to peek out at the sides.

Milkmaid/Heidi braids are very visible from the front.

You have the length for a coronet braid like Yulia Tymoshenko (http://sparklepony.blogspot.com/2008/03/as-requested-back-of-yulia-tymoshenkos.html).

Janis Cortese used to have online instructions for a style she called "upbraided", where you braid all your hair at the nape, then secure the braid against the back of your head and bun what's left of the braid on top of your head. I find that a top-of-the-head bun makes a very noticeable change in my appearance from the front compared with the low nape buns I usually do.


All that aside, if you don't like updos, I think it's reasonable to try different options (possibly even heat styling, though I confess I couldn't do it myself) to make wearing your hair down more practical and enjoyable. It would seem self-defeating to limit yourself to styling options that you're not happy with, in the interest of "long hair" in the abstract that you don't actually enjoy day to day.