My "Trim" Today (rant)

[czech it out]

Hello all! I looked for a thread that might be specific to haircut/hairdresser rants, but couldn't find one. If anyone would like to take this opportunity to rant with me, be my guest.

I have been growing my hair out for about a year now, and I am/was very close to my first milestone - BSL! It had been a few months since I'd had a trim, so when my mom offered to take me with her to her hairdresser and even pay for my trim, I figured why not. Probably the first red flag was when we stopped to buy cigarettes to pay the hairdresser with. That's right, we paid in cigarettes. Apparently my mom is friends with this woman and she got a special deal that involves nicotine reimbursement. Anyway, when we got there, I explained right away that I was growing my hair out and that I'd just like a dusting. She seemed to understand, and started prepping my hair. Second red flag: she ripped a comb through my hair like she was mad at it. Then, the cutting begins. But it's not conventional trimming with scissors. She instead razors these crazy (unwanted) layers into my hair. I asked why she was using a razor and she said "It annoys me when layers are all choppy." So apparently she disregarded my wishes for my hair because it annoyed her. When I got out of the chair and saw how much hair was on the floor (some pieces 4 inches long), I almost started crying right there. I know how annoying these rant threads can be, but now I understand how devastating it is to lose the length you've been working so hard on. Any words of encouragement/wisdom/similar stories?

TL;DR I paid a woman Newport 100's to "trim" 4 inches off my annoyingly layered hair

[arjay.d]

i'm sorry. That sucks. I know how annoying it can be when someone ignores what you want. I don't have any advice, though. Sorry.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Oooh, that's so awful! I'm feeling for you, I've had that happen too!

[Sunny Elf]

Oh, that's awful!! The first and only time I ever got my hair cut/layered at a salon, I told the hairdresser EXACTLY where I wanted my shortest layer to be (chin length) and for her to NOT trim any off off the length. I ended up with very sloppy, uneven layers, the shortest of which were two inches long, while the longest of my hair was shoulder length--and she took an INCH off my length despite me telling her several times not to. Ugh...So, I feel your pain :( but hair grows back, and now you know to never go to that hairdresser again! I hope you find a hairdresser who respects your desires--they seem to be becoming scarce, as wrong as that sounds, but they're out there. What happened to "the customer is always right"? Anyway, good luck on your hair journey!

[spidermom]

That's really awful! I hope you have a growth spurt to make up for it. My hair will sometimes grow very fast after a haircut.

[LaurelSpring]

I think most of us have been there. I sure have many times which is why I self trim now. I did have a good experience a couple of months ago on the blue moon. I hadnt been in a salon in years. I obsessively explained in detail what I wanted and she did do what I wanted but I dont plan on being back again in another blue moon, if that. So the only advice I have is to go ahead and mourn the loss. Remember it, and learn to do self trims.

[Ambystoma]

Urgh, I know how you feel czech, years ago I let of friend of my partner, who was a hairdresser give my blunt cut BSL hair "a small trim". I was sitting there when I heard him say "So...I'm just adding a little movement to it" while sort of ruffling through it with his fingers. I thought he was just styling it or something but no, he had cut unwanted layers into my wavy, frizz prone, naturally voluminous hair (I'm sure you can all imagine how well that worked out :rolleyes:). I hated it and went and bought my first flatiron since that was the only way I could keep it looking tidy while I grew them out :(. I use Feye's self trim method these days which I love - no more worries!

[Amorice]

I'm really sorry that this happend. Like you said, it can really suck to loose all that growth and progress to your goal. The hairdresser just sees something to cut/style, while YOU see the 8 or 9 months it took you to grow all that! Just try to think of the positives: you cut away only the oldest and most damaged part, and you have healthy ends to keep going, and it WILL grow back.

The best advice I have for getting good long hair treatment at a salon is to, well, cry. Or act like you're about to cry, or at least extremely scared. No hairdresser wants a customer sobbing while paying and walking out, and I've found that if you make it obvious from the start that that WILL happen if they don't respect your wishes and honestly only TRIM, they'll be more careful.

Though, last time I got a trim was from a girl who was growing out a severe cut that she hated. She told me it had been almost as long as mine, but the other hairdressers convinced her that a bob would look cute, and was now down to her shoulders and getting awkward lengths in it. So she totally understood my long hair protective-ness, and showed me EXACTLY what she was going to cut off before she snipped. Super nice girl, wish I hadn't moved away from her!

[kidari]

I agree that the one good thing that can come of a traumatic cut like this one is that you just stick to cutting it yourself forever- that's what happened to me.

[czech it out]

Thank you everyone who replied! I really appreciate all the empathy/positivity. It's great that LHC is such a supportive community.
I will definitely consider self-trims in the future, per your advice, and I'll be looking up Feye's method - thanks Ambystoma! Your story sounded terrible, but I did have to chuckle at the "adding a little movement" bit. Interesting choice of words!
Amorice, I will probably be on the verge of tears when/if I enter a salon again, so following your advice should be simple. :) Really though, your comments were very encouraging. Thank you!

[xoxophelia]

Sending good hair wishes your way. Yes, this would be extremely frustrating. If you can manage to learn self trimming once your hair is long enough, it will be a life saver.

[spirals]

Some people here say going to a barber is the best thing you can do. I can trim myself, but when it gets too long for that, I may go to a barber.

[dulce]

This has happened to me several times so I learned to cut my own hair,check out ''Feyes method'' here on previous threads or get that wonderful gadget the CREACLIP,check out utube for videos showing different haircuts using it or you can google their website and look at their demos there.It's a hard lesson to learn but most[not all] hairdressers do not seem to value your hard earned length,at least that's been my experience.

[truepeacenik]

Is it mean that I'm thinking she deserves the hacking cough and charming voice from smoking? Since she is kind of a bee etch?

[DancingQueen]

I am really sorry to hear that - my my hairdresser did the same thing to me a few years back, only I ended up with chin-length hair, and it did NOT suit me. If you don't know them already, do a search on Crea Clip. I invested in one, and I think they will save lots of money, length and tears. :)

[Mesmerise]

Ugh yeah... a few years back I went in for "long layers" meaning, you know, APL or so length layers in my BSLish length hair?! I even showed, AND described the layers, and said I didn't want them too thick... well I came out later with this big THICK chin length layer :( UGH. It was awful as I haven't got that much hair thickness as it is!! Sometimes I think hairdressers just hear what they want to hear?! (And no, I know there are some great ones :D some do EXACTLY what you ask for and are awesome!!).

[2peasinapod]

I have yet to get a cut from a salon I'm happy with. One time, I wanted bangs, and I brought in a picture. The "stylist" took one look at the picture, muttered something about "wispy", then set it down and gave me bangs that were neither wispy nor anything like the picture. No place, has ever understood what I meant by "trim" either. It doesn't matter if it's a super cheap place or an expensive salon. I say half an inch and show them on my hair exactly how much I want them to take off, and they cut however much they feel like. Even when I had short hair and went in for a touch up, I rarely came out with the same hairstyle I went in with. It's maddening.

The best advice I can give is Feye's self trimming method (http://feyeselftrim.livejournal.com/). It's super easy, and you can dust off as much or as little as you want. Take a multi vitamin, especially if you can find one with biotin in it. Hopefully, your hair will grow back fast!

[AutumnLocks]

I have had this conversation with my DH recently. It is the reason I have not yet had a "trim" when I really do need one to get rid of the splits that I have. My hair is beginning to look very shaggy on the ends and I hate it! DH says that any hair dresser should be able to do just what I want. That it doesn't seem that hard, however, hairdressers are trained to cut hair. It is what they do for a living. I am an artist and when I see a blank canvas or blank sheet of paper my fingers begin to tingle and my mind goes into overdrive with ideas as to what I will do with that blank space. I'm sure a good hairdresser is the same when he/she sees a person with very long hair. They begin to think what they will do with that "blank space" of very long hair. They seem to forget that that "blank space" is attached to a person who may have possibly been growing their hair for years. I just wish there were hair salons which catered to people with very long hair who want to keep it that way.
There is a salon near us and I am considering calling them and asking if they have anyone there who will do just what I say and not a centimeter more. Here is basically what I think I will say to the person who cuts my hair....I have been growing my hair for three years, it is my wish to continue growing it. I have split ends and they need to be cut. I want about 1 inch cut off and not even 1 centimeter more. If any more is cut off there is going to be a problem! I am normaly a very easygoing person. I go out of my way to avoid confrontation, but the older I get the less patience I have with people who want to userp their will on that of others. Ok, that's my rant for today! :whip:

[jacqueline101]

That's terrible. I hope you can find a way to grow it out quickly. Maybe wearing it up will help while its growing. I'd suggest benign neglect and monistat too.

[itdontmatter48]

I hate when that happens as well. I am so sorry this happened to you.

[Celtic Morla]

Yeah I don't go to hair salons either I do trim the tips if I see a split, sometimes I will get DD to dust it for me but last time I asked her to take an inch off i lost more like 4 I was solid at wasit and now about 4-5 month slater I am back at waist again. I think we need a support group of like minded ladies int he same region doing each other's dustings or as a lookout on a trip to a salon to prevent overzealous hairdressers! Right now I just kepe puting my hair up to prevemt people seeing my ends-I will say I have gottne pretty good at a psuedo Edwardian updo!


I tried to upload a pi c of it but that doesn't sem to be working?

[melusine963]

This has happened to me several times so I learned to cut my own hair,check out ''Feyes method'' here on previous threads or get that wonderful gadget the CREACLIP,check out utube for videos showing different haircuts using it or you can google their website and look at their demos there.It's a hard lesson to learn but most[not all] hairdressers do not seem to value your hard earned length,at least that's been my experience.

I've used Feye's method, but I'd never heard of the Creaclip before. This seems like a great way of giving yourself layers, but not so much for a blunt cut.

[dulce]

The CREACLIP will do layers,a blunt cut for any length ,a inverted[shorter at back] bob,a v hem,a u hem,and it cuts bangs!!Great gadget,love mine.I use mine to cut a u hem on my now one length hair.

[Lostsoule77]

I've had that happen. It's not fun, but your hair does grow back and you learn a very good lesson. Treat it nicely and put it up and it'll all grow before you know it. :)

[spirals]

hairdressers are trained to cut hair. It is what they do for a living. I am an artist and when I see a blank canvas or blank sheet of paper my fingers begin to tingle and my mind goes into overdrive with ideas as to what I will do with that blank space. I'm sure a good hairdresser is the same when he/she sees a person with very long hair. They begin to think what they will do with that "blank space" of very long hair. They seem to forget that that "blank space" is attached to a person who may have possibly been growing their hair for years. I just wish there were hair salons which catered to people with very long hair who want to keep it that way.I get that. I've never been a stylist, but when my hair would get long enough, I'd picture it as negtive space to be cut out. I liked shorter, heavily-layered cuts at the time.

[lapushka]

Happened to me in the past as well. I haven't been to a hairdresser since, unless I *wanted* them to cut a huge chunk off. Feye's self-trimming method is awesome. Try trimming it yourself from now on, or have someone assist you with Feye's method.

It will grow back! That's a given.

[Firefly River]

I went in for a trim two months ago, asked for just an inch off, blunt cut, and a slight dusting of the layers, as Im trying to get rid of my bleached hair. The lady of course was into thinning, as her own hair had a lott of thinned cutting. So at the end, despite me telling her four times that I want it blunt blunt blunt, and that I want nothing done to my bangs as Im trying to grow them out also, she thinned ALL of the ends of my hair two inches high with those thinning scissors with spaces in them. Then she cuts my bangs to make my them a steep sloped up incline on each side!! When I washed my hair after I got home, I turned and saw that my straight cut I've been working two years on thickening is now a V cut!! I was so mad but it's not like I cand do much except not go back to her...
So I definately feel your pain. I decided to get a trim in six months (June) instead if my every three month trim, and this time I'm going to try Feye's (Sp?) method. Excited to do it right!! :D

[AineMuirne]

All through high school and most of college I had an AMAZING hair dresser who would do exactly what I said. If I said, "Cut off as little as possible" she would literally cut off 1/8". When my mother would suggest a short cut, she'd stand up for me and say, "Nooo! The long hair is so pretty!" She also would spend ~45 minutes searching and destroying split ends. Unfortunately, she moved to Ohio last year. D: I went to my mother's hair dresser in mid-October and she cut off 4.5 inches, but I can't really blame her, because I did agree to it to get rid of the layers. She would have cut off less if I'd said so. She did cut the straight hemline quite jagged, though. I'm self-trimming from now on, though. I did a self-microtrim a few weeks before I got the major trim in October and I thought it was really easy and it came out very straight.

[DancingQueen]

I've used Feye's method, but I'd never heard of the Creaclip before. This seems like a great way of giving yourself layers, but not so much for a blunt cut.

Actually, it works great for blunt cuts. I had my mother cut my hair this weekend, and it got nice and straight - something no hairdresser have managed to do on my hair before. :)

[woolyleprechaun]

oooof, I'm sorry! That must have been awful. You certainly aren't alone in your suffering; I believe snip-happy hairdressers are rife. I had an.... Interesting experience at a salon once where the hairdresser felt the need to use a permanent black dye on my ash blonde hair, when I wanted a semi chocolate brown, and fashioned me an interesting hair helmet. All I needed was a red uniform and I could have guarded Her Majesty's Palace ;)
*feeling your pain*

[Arden]

Been there. April 1st. Told hair dresser I was growing out my then BSL hair. Stood up from the chair with a shag. This was no accident. I've had hairdressers try to correct themselves but gradually skimming it too short. This girl had cut a solid 12inch chunk that was laying fully in tact on the floor. From BSL to collarbone at the longest layer. The shortest layer I could fit in two fists with a little tuff sticking out. Today I am APL and its been almost 9 months and I'm still about 3 inches from the length it was before she cut it. at best I will have spent a year growing it back.

I know it doesn't make you feel good but on the bright side 4 inches is much better than 12

[akilina]

Totally awful!
And I hate how there are B****** out there like that making actual GOOD hairdressers like me look bad.

Geez, did you confront her and SHOW her the hair that was 4 inches long and basically be like "WTF?" I would have. Its so irritating that some hairdressers can't measure, yet our combs have inch measurements ON THEM. Or listen to clients for that matter. Grr Im mad for you lol!

And honestly, since she DID use a razor I think yet another trim will have to be in order eventually in the future :(

[cobden 28]

In February 1999 I was due to go into hospital for major surgery that would have me off work for three months afterwards; I had shoulder-length hair with a centre parting and a full fringe which I wanted to grow out, so told the hairdresser I wanted the ends of my hair cut to chin-length with the fringe just trimmed because I was ggoing to grow it out. I explained in some detail exactly what I wanted to have done; was hoping to be able to tie my fringe back in a topknot while it was growing out.

What actually happened was that as soon as I said the magic words 'growing my fringe out', the hairdresser said I'd be wanting layers cut into the sides of my hair framing my face, and she'd snip-snip-snipped with her scissors and cut layers down the whole of one side of my face without bothering to ask me if this was whjat i wanted, she just presumed! I then said sarcastically that no I didn't want any layers put in, she hadn't the manners to ask me whether this was what I wanted but she was goiung to have to do something to make my hair look halfway decent before i walked out of the salon. So I ended up with layers that i didn't want or ask for but which i had inflicted on me! I was NOT a happy bunny, and it took me a good 18 months to grow my hair all down to chin length to get rid of those horrible layers :(.

I should add that my hair is now down to waist and today I decided to have a full fringe cut into my hair, whilst still keeping the length at the back; I've been to this particular salon before and explained in great depth exactly what I wanted doing - absolutelyt no layers whatsoever - with just the absolute bare minimum trimmed off the ends at the back. I still have waist-length hair, no layers, and the full fringe that I went in for. I'm happy to go back to that salon any time in the future; they understand exactly what I mean when I tell them what I want doing!

[4C4rly4]

Join the club!
Here's my post about how my hairstylist gave me a bad haircut
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=109169
If it makes you feel any better, I eventually had to cut off 12 inches lol :/
Now my hair's 3 inches above my shoulders, and my goal is classic length. This will take forever...

[MORE]

Ouch, that's bad, I am so sorry.:blossom:

I remember the feeling, still. When I was a kid I wanted bangs. I was maybe about 9 and I wanted a long long fringe. I even got a photo with me to the hair dresser. And, of course, I went myself because I was so (eh) tough?

She cut it soooo short. It was like a cm too short. But it didn't stop there. She looked at it in the mirror and goes "Oh, look at that, not straight at all!". It had turned out longer on one side and shorter on the other. So she tried to fix it. Which meant it became one more cm shorter. And, of course, not straight again. It went on this was until I literally had 1,5 cm fringe left. By this time I tried so hard not to cry I couldn't talk. I wanted it long, in my eyes, and now I just had a short little fringe. And, yeah, my hair was still wet. Well, I'm a wavy, so guess what happened when she blow-dried it... It became even shorter and more uneven (the hairdresser never even got it right).

I remember just going home and getting my scissors. I was so humiliated and angry (and 9, remember) I though I just had to get rid of the whole thing. Cutting it all away and then wear a headband? Yeah, I could do that! ....well luckily my dad came home and stopped the whole thing.

But I do remember the desperation. I feel for you! :flowers:

[missannie]

I went in May to have a trim on my BSL hair. I looked down at one point and gasped "Is that my hair?" She has cut it to my shoulders.....I am still angry. But its how I found this site and co washing!

[Kaelee]

Been there, done that.

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a133/Danmara/001600x800-1.jpg

[spirals]

Totally awful!
And I hate how there are B****** out there like that making actual GOOD hairdressers like me look bad.

Geez, did you confront her and SHOW her the hair that was 4 inches long and basically be like "WTF?" I would have. Its so irritating that some hairdressers can't measure, yet our combs have inch measurements ON THEM. Or listen to clients for that matter. Grr Im mad for you lol!
This is why I am afraid to go to a salon, and for that matter, afraid to be a stylist. (I'm a control freak who'd want to cut it how I wanted to.) akilina, I wish I lived near you so you could blend my layers.

[bekstamonkey]

Oh mannn, so many horrible, heartbreaking stories! I have not let anyone cut my hair since I was 14 - when I asked my Mum to trim/neaten the tips, and it turned into that whole 'oh, let me even it up' over and over and my WL locks ended-up at shoulders. Since then, nobody, not even stylists, have gotten to touch my hair...have cut it myself for years now...I think I would burst into tears in the "stylist's" presence if I got the treatment some of you received...just horrible. I mean, you work hard to treat your hair well an it takes one moron with a pair of scissors (or razor blades - ay yi yi!) to toss so much effort an patience away in a few foul snips. Grrr....

[tgagurl27]

I most of the time regret going to the hairdressers because I just think they don't treat your hair with the respect that you want. The one I went to in October was really rough. She was combing my hair out and because it hadn't been cut for a while it was getting a little bit knotty. But instead of combing from the bottom up to comb out the knot she just comb and pulled until it came out on its own. I was internally screaming at her lol
I think I'll be going back to self trims again. My friend says no one should EVER cut their own hair but mine was in the best condition and at it's longest and thickest when I cut it myself. :) As long as your scissors are sharp then I think you'll be fine

[Agnieszka]

I have long bob hair now but it needed a trim. I went to the hairdresser two weeks ago and told her just trim it 1 cm thats all. She did and when I thought she is done she started to give it "a little movement" she managed to start but I thought no way, I can't allow it and told her to stop NOW. She was still trying to finish her job but i move away from scizzors and said no, please it is good now. She appeared very surprised because they always cut those layers and maybe most of customers like it but not me at this stage.

[Kaelee]

I have long bob hair now but it needed a trim. I went to the hairdresser two weeks ago and told her just trim it 1 cm thats all. She did and when I thought she is done she started to give it "a little movement" she managed to start but I thought no way, I can't allow it and told her to stop NOW. She was still trying to finish her job but i move away from scizzors and said no, please it is good now. She appeared very surprised because they always cut those layers and maybe most of customers like it but not me at this stage.

Good for you! I hope she didn't manage to do too much harm to your hair in the meantime.

[akilina]

This is why I am afraid to go to a salon, and for that matter, afraid to be a stylist. (I'm a control freak who'd want to cut it how I wanted to.) akilina, I wish I lived near you so you could blend my layers.

Hehe thanks :) I do wish I could trim and pamper LHC's hair! It has helped me to be on this site to understand more how clients might feel. Not all are hair obsessed, but that doesn't matter. People still want what they ask for.
It is a scary job sometimes..I can only think of one person who was unhappy with me...she was oriental and I could not understand anything she was saying because her accent was so thick and she just threw up her hands and left it up to me :/ A lot of people don't understand that their hair wont do everything they want it to, and wont always be like someone elses hair.

/end hijack lol.

[czech it out]

Totally awful!
And I hate how there are B****** out there like that making actual GOOD hairdressers like me look bad.

Geez, did you confront her and SHOW her the hair that was 4 inches long and basically be like "WTF?" I would have. Its so irritating that some hairdressers can't measure, yet our combs have inch measurements ON THEM. Or listen to clients for that matter. Grr Im mad for you lol!

And honestly, since she DID use a razor I think yet another trim will have to be in order eventually in the future :(

Thankfully, I do have a tride-and-true GOOD hairdresser who was able to fix it up. I actually just got back from seeing her - she was able to cut most of the thinned parts off. I thought I was getting a good deal with this other stylist, but I seriously learned my lesson the hard way. I hope all of your clients appreciate you as much as I appreciate my hairdresser now! :flower:

Edit: I also love your avatar picture. Yum.

[Mischamiu]

Hey everyone, I think I definitely belong in this thread... :( I have been growing my hair for 1.5 years and a member of the community for one year, so far I had had 3 trims and they were all okay (they took an tiny bit more than an inch). This november I finally hit BSL!! I was soo happy, I started liking my hair again after many years and got many compliments on it. Yesterday I went for a little trim (I get an inch to 1/2 trimmed every four months since it is damaged) and asked him to trim just the ends, and only half an inch. He took 3 inches! I'm not BSL anymore and it is going to take me at least four to five months to get there again, also I don't think I'll hit waist next september. I'm really mad at the hairdresser, I think I need to be even more precise on how much he needs to cut next time. At least all the damage is gone :p I feel that my hair is really healthy...

[Kaelee]

Hey everyone, I think I definitely belong in this thread... :( I have been growing my hair for 1.5 years and a member of the community for one year, so far I had had 3 trims and they were all okay (they took an tiny bit more than an inch). This november I finally hit BSL!! I was soo happy, I started liking my hair again after many years and got many compliments on it. Yesterday I went for a little trim (I get an inch to 1/2 trimmed every four months since it is damaged) and asked him to trim just the ends, and only half an inch. He took 3 inches! I'm not BSL anymore and it is going to take me at least four to five months to get there again, also I don't think I'll hit waist next september. I'm really mad at the hairdresser, I think I need to be even more precise on how much he needs to cut next time. At least all the damage is gone :p I feel that my hair is really healthy...

I think some hairdressers interpret "trim" as "remove all visible damage"- even if you specify an amount. As soon as they hear "trim" they think "remove all damage" and disregard the rest.

The reason I think this is that, when I was still a kid (and didn't really care about my hair) my mom took me to get my hair trimmed, and the stylist turned to my mom and said "I'm going to need to take off about this much (I think she indicated 2-3 inches). Is that OK?" I'm glad she asked, but some people don't. I've had similar experiences when I got older and started going in for trims myself (again, not really caring about my hair at this point.) They would tell ME how much they needed to cut, not the other way around.

[Mischamiu]

Yes I think that is the problem, I don't mind having a tiny bit of splits but I do feel pretty bad when my hair is short. I guess I just need to be more specific next time and say something when they're about to cut too much :blossom: