I hate my hair

[bunnii]

well I hate that nothing works.

I made a thread a while ago that I needed ideas on where to get hairtoys, as I was at the end of my tether with not being able to do anything with my hair and thanks to the suggestions I got me a few toys and even made a hairstick, but now, whenever I try putting it up it makes my head hurt :( even a ponytail or braid, I've tried tight ones loose ones and it always ends up in headache. I just had to take out a bun because I had a huge headache coming and now i've got it in a loose three part braid and it's still pulling and making my head hurt :cry:

Also my hair is never rinsed properly, I can stand in the shower for 45 minutes just rinsing my hair and i've still got stuck together almost greasy strands, normally around my ears. I've tried more pressure, less pressure, warm water, very warm water and not so warm water. I CO every 2-3 days and shampoo once every 3 or 4 washes I do oil but only the ends and not as much as I should do so there's not really any way I can see that's the problem and with using shampoo how could I get build up?

So I really need some LHC advice, I love how my hair looks long but can't stand the headaches or greasy after washing thing. Please please please help me like my hair again :flower:

[sipnsun]

We have the same hairtype and I cannot do CO washing. I tried for about 8 months but also had the greasies around the underneath of my hair. I have to shampoo every other day but I only use dilluted shampoo. It keeps my hair clean without being oily. I'm sorry about the headaches you are getting, I wish I had some advice for that but my hair is not nearly as long as yours so I haven't had to deal with that (yet). Hopefully someone will suggest some other hairstyles that won't cause you any pain.

[AutumnLeaves]

Wish I could help but alas, I'm not so fond of my own right now. Too frizzy, too much like a matted animal's pelt. I hate it short too, so that isn't even in the thought processes. Judging by your signature pic, your hair is truly beautiful.

Have you tried slides and a low pony that shouldn't change the physics of the way your hair is when it is worn loose and down too much? Maybe just a couple of snap clippies up close to the part line just to help it stay out of your face/mouth? I haven't talked to you before and cannot see the front of your head in the photo, so other than the bit of lankness and greasiness you describe, I can only really relate to ways to wear it to keep it out of your face.

I think others here might better know ways to deal with the greasy patches as that is one thing I don't have to deal with, unless I inadvertently slap on too much oil. For me shampooing and conditioning alone works. I wish you luck and answers! You've definitely come to the right place for them!

[Arctic]

I don't have any thought right now about headaches but to try different updos.
Or is it possible that when you wear an updo, you without realizing it, get tensed muscles at the neck and shoulders? I could see that happening especially if you're not used to updos and/or they are not secured.

As for not getting your hair clean, maybe you should use shampoo more often, like every other wash. I have read many a member say they can only CO once or twice before they get build-up.

I love CWC method myself, it keeps my hair and scalp clean while protecting the length and ends and keeping hair from tangling.

I think your hair is very pretty!

[Fluff]

You sound to have a sensitive scalp. I have those days when I cannot tie my hair for longer than an hour so I think I have a clue of how you feel. I'd say: accept it and let your hair be free.

Have you tried acidic rinse (like apple cider or citric acid diluted in water) for your hair?

[Blueglass]

I find no problem in washing everyday. Sometimes I CWC also. I also find evo very hard to wash out.

[Ohio Sky]

Sorry you hate your hair Bunnii!! :grouphug:

Is your hair greasy like that after shampooing too or just after CO? If it's better after shampoo it may just be that your hair needs an actual washing more often. Try a very mild one or dilute whatever you have.

I have the problems with headaches, too. I find hairsticks cause them the most often, sadly. :( I heard someone somewhere around here say to try your do's either higher up or lower down on your head that you normally wear them and see if that helps. :flower:

[Euphony]

I heard someone somewhere around here say to try your do's either higher up or lower down on your head that you normally wear them and see if that helps. :flower:
That's what I do, makes a huge difference!

Also, is this a recent onset? I ask because last year I had walking pneumonia and found I had to wear my hair down all the time while I was sick. Not only did I not want to fuss with my hair, but everything hurt no matter what I did, heck I was so sick the ends of my hair hurt!

[missy60]

I had been doing CO mostly all the time. I started out with very damaged dry hair and I ended up with dirty looking hair all the time. I was over conditioning my hair and I just had to start back using shampoo for a few washes. I had to shampoo the length a few times to get it bACK to normal. My length is very picky to much shampoo it gets really dry and to much conditioner it looks dirty. What I do now is shampoo my scalp and just let the suds run over my length I dont apply any shampoo there. I use a heavier conditioner on the length and leave it on for a while. If my hair is really dry I can throw in a CO wash but it doesnt do well with to many in a row without shampoo.

[lora410]

well if you don't wear your hair up often I think the headaches are normal. I wear mine up constantly so I am used to it. Have you tried a vinegar rinse as a final rinse to help get the residue out?

[bunnii]

Thanks for your replies, I will try wearing it higher and see if that helps, it seems to be individual hairs pulling and thats what makes my head hurt, and yup I think i've got a sensitive scalp. I've been very depressed lately but when I get an 'up' moment it hurts less.

Sometimes after using shampoo it's worse, so I have no idea whats going on there :confused: I've been thinking about vinegar rinsing but I only have distilled available to me. do I have to rinse after or leave it? might it pull the dye out? Maybe washing daily and using less product might help.

Sorry if i've missed any suggestions but my head is now pounding from my braid :rolleyes:

AutumnLeaves - thank you so much your comment about my hair in my sig pic, it has made me feel better about it :flowers:

Arctic - and thank you too :flowers:

[Soniasonia]

I remove buildup by doing a once a week organic ACV rinse. I put it in my hair and scalp for 30 mins thats all youll need. Make sure you dillute it. Also, try Giovanni tea tree oil shampoo. That is GREAT for breaking up oil and totally refreshes and invigorates your scalp.

[bunnii]

Well today I lost it with my hair (again :rolleyes:) I tried a high ponytail, low one, a french braid, normal braid, pigtails and two braids none of which worked so I went a bit berserk and pulled some of it out and now my head is defiantely killing me :cry: Then I got a shower and covered my head in shampoo, used a coney deep conditioner and rinsed with vinegar, left that ina few minutes then rinsed it to make sure everything was rinsed, and I still have greasy strands, maybe I should have left it in longer. My head is killing me and I resent my hair soooooo much for causing so much trouble. I am extremely stressed right now, i've only just found a doctor that didn't want to shove me on antidepressants and push me out the door, my mums stressing for her test results (I'm stressing too) I'm so low getting up is a huge effort and my hair gets in the way so I have to put it up, Oh no that kills my head. BF has suggested a trim of a few inches but unless I cut above my ears I can't see it helping. Also I don't want to cut, I like my hair infact its the only thing about me I do like and it could tip me over the edge if I had to cut :cry::cry::cry: i'm just so lost.

[Village Mama]

This sounds terrible. You are under a ton of stress! When I am stressed I really carry the tension up my neck... up the sides to the area behind my ears. I get headaches a ton from this and it feels awful to do anything at all with my hair. Sometimes I get super greasy when I am stressed and or not taking care of my diet as well as I should. I hope you feel better soon!

[Arctic]

Awww, sorry to hear this, Bunnii! :grouphug:

For the greasies, sounds like you might need to clarify. Strip the cones, minerals from water, conditioner residue and all from the hairshafts. I can't remember now if you have said if you have already tried clarifying.. I recommend a good clarifying shampoo, it's the best in my experience.

I'm at my wits end with the updo departement. Maybe you could try some relaxation technique, and it might help with your over all stress as well as tender scalp?

[pariate]

Oh honey :flower:

First of all, have a cup of tea and a biccy, put your feet up and be lovely to yourself :)

Second, have you tried a deep clairfying? ACV can work for some people but it's not actually very effective for heavy build up, especially where oil is concerned! Try a clarifying shampoo or very diluted baking soda. That should help with the greasy sections.

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so low about things generally. :grouphug: I'm glad you've found a doctor that you like, that makes allllllllll the difference! I hope your mum's test results come through soon. I'm sending you both happy vibes!

Lots of love x

[pariate]

My post crossed with Arctic's! :)

[bunnii]

Thanks I've had some tea, BF came up from work to make it for me :)

I'll try a clarifying shampoo, today was the first time in months i've used cones I normally avoid them so I can spot damage, but today I wanted my hair to look nice to try and like it again. Do I still need to condition after clarifying? Oh and the vinegar was distilled from tesco it's the clear one that smells like the malt one, lucky for me I love the smell :) I'm going to start some scalp massaging hopefully that might relieve some of the tension, I sure can't keep getting so angry with my hair that i'm pulling at it, I'll have no hair left soon :(

[danacc]

I'm so sorry to hear all you're going through.

Clarifying will strip all the build-up and any film and oil from your hair. That's its purpose. You will want to condition afterwards to return a normal amount of oil to your hair. If you don't do this, your hair will likely be dry and flyaway.

Also, for the sensitive scalp, go slowly with up-dos. Some are better balanced than others, and therefore pull more evenly rather than pulling on individual hair or in individual spots. There is a good discussion of nicely balanced up-dos that work for migraine sufferers here: Migraine Updos: The Non-Ouch Kind! (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=8226) A braid starting at the nape works for many. These will work well for getting a sensitive scalp to allow updo's, too.

For me, once my scalp starts hurting from an updo, it will continue to hurt no matter what. It will hurt the least if I leave my hair completely free, and the next-to-least in a nape braid, but it's going to have some degree of pain for a while no matter what I do with it. So, it's important for me to not let it start hurting too much to begin with. As soon as it starts hurting, I let it down and braid it. I don't put it into another "up" style until the next day, at a minimum. And I let it down and braid it again as soon as I feel any pain. I find I can go a little longer with it up each day. It helps to go longer if I put the bun in a slightly different spot on my head each time, as others suggested. Other things that help are the obvious carefulness to not have it pulling in any one place, learning the comfort zone of not so tight that it's pulling everywhere, and not so loose that it will start pulling in only one area, and starting with well-balanced do's like those in the migraine thread. Other than that, for me, patience is key. Eventually, I can go all day, but it has definitely taken an adjustment period for me of somewhere between days and 2 weeks. And during that time, it will hurt for a short period of time each day. Your results will most likely vary depending on how sensitive your scalp is.

If your headaches continue, even with it down or braided, tell your doctor about them. In addition to a sensitive scalp, you may have something else going on.

[Arctic]

I think it's always good to condition after clarifying. I really hope it helps! I'm glad your BF is there and you're feeling a bit better! Maybe he would give you a head (and maybe shoulder area too) massage? I do that with my fiance every now and then, we both love it :cloud9:

[danacc]

One more thing, after you clarify and condition, rinse thoroughly.

Also, diluted vinegar rinses will remove minerals and get a nice good rinse of some products, but it's not a strong clarifier like a clarifying shampoo or diluted baking soda wash. If you go the diluted baking soda route, rinse it thoroughly then follow it with a diluted vinegar rinse since the baking soda has an alkaline pH that your hair won't like to be left with. The diluted vinegar rinse will counteract the alkaline pH and leave the hair in its happy slightly acidic place.

The vinegar you used previously sounds fine. I highly dilute the vinegar - usually about 1 part vinegar for 16 parts water.

[bunnii]

I've been trying to find clarifying shampoos and this seems to be the best I can find http://www.tresemme.co.uk/product.aspx?id=deep-cleansing-shampoo Then i'l do cone free condish and vinegar rinse then oil the ends. And hope it works :)

[pariate]

Do you feel any brighter now that you have a plan of action? I hope so :)

[bunnii]

I do a a bit thank you :) BF just came home to make me some dinner on his break :inlove: and I changed my avatar Darth Kitty rocks haha

[pariate]

Aww, that's sweet of him :D The avatar is cool - like you're ready for battle ;)

[Tressie]

Hi! Please don't give up and cut your lovely hair! I think you'd regret it. Maybe you need to try a different conditioner for the CO days. If, however you are happy with the length of your hair and it's only a little too oily looking around your face or ears, you might try dabbing a touch of dusting/body powder just on those spots and then gently combing. If your hair looks white at all, you can take a slightly damp wash cloth and blot gently to remove any traces of the powder residue. This should fluff up/dry any spot greasies similar to the way a dry shampoo does. You may have tried a loose braid? Sorry if this is no help, but I know someone on this board will have a suggestion that works! The Bible says: "Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord". Hang in there!!!:D

[Darkhorse1]

A few questions--do you get hairs being pulled that cause headaches or is it the weight of your hair? When you said your braids/ponytails cause problems. Your hair is gorgeous, but looks as if you have very straight hair (from your sig photo). If you have a lot of hair, that can cause problems with headaches. Have you tried pulling the sides back with combs? Ficarre like clips? Something that pulls it away from your face, but not 'up'? What about a low pony tail with a scrunchie? I'd play around with hair styles--what about bandanas? Hair bands? Ribbons?
The other thought would be to get some layers put in, so it reduces the weight of your hair. If you have even hair (no bangs, all one length), maybe get some soft layers around your face. That would help 'thin' it out and reduce the weight, which causes the headaches.

Hope that helps :)

[longhairedfairy]

I wonder if there is an underlying problem and the "hair up" is just triggering it. Have you ever gone to a chiropractor (if you do go, make sure they take an x-ray first to make sure they're not messing with anything that could cause injury)? Sometimes there may be a simple solution. Just a thought.

ETA: There may be muscle tension you don't realize is there. Stretching the back of your neck for about 30 seconds every now and then throughout the day (every day) might help. Just don't be too forceful.

[DragonLady]

Also I don't want to cut, I like my hair infact its the only thing about me I do like and it could tip me over the edge if I had to cut i'm just so lost.

This concerns me. Really deep depression can cause all kinds of health problems, and may be directly related to what you're experiencing. It sounds like you're under a LOT of stress, and that changes your body chemistry and can really cause havoc with your whole body.

Have you considered a bit of counselling? Just talking things out to a professional can help a lot, and a few weeks of regular attendance can improve your whole life.

[bunnii]

hehe thanks Pariate :) And thanks people for saying my hair is nice It means a lot to me :flower:

I used to use a bit of talcum powder :doh: how could I forget? That will be good when it does get greasy. My hair has some layers in, the shortest are just below my shoulders. I don't think my hair is thick but alot of peole have said it is. Ok I've just checked my ponytail circumference and last time I did that it was 1 inch but now its 2.75 inches :D:D thats almost 2 inches thicker since I joined LHC. So maybe it might be heavy, I never considered that because of how thin I thought it was :lol: I've been using it snap clips (not sure what they're called) the ones where you pop them open slide them in and pop them closed againand just pulling my hair off my face that way. I found a scarf that I was playing with earlier in my hair so i'm going to experiment a bit with it and see what I can do.

[bunnii]

This concerns me. Really deep depression can cause all kinds of health problems, and may be directly related to what you're experiencing. It sounds like you're under a LOT of stress, and that changes your body chemistry and can really cause havoc with your whole body.

Have you considered a bit of counselling? Just talking things out to a professional can help a lot, and a few weeks of regular attendance can improve your whole life.


Yep depression has been playing havoc with me I am in councelling a sit down session every 2-3 weeks and a going out session, but they haven't started yet. I do start doing well and then something really cr*ppy happens and I feel back where I started. When I typed that post up I was at a low point, they don't happen as much as they used to, which is good but I still get tired from trying all the time and feeling like i'm getting nowhere and thats why my headaches can make it unbearable to have longhair at times. Because when my head hurts I can't think straight and then I can't cope. But with all these suggestions hopefully soon this problem will be out of the way or at least managed some.

longhairedfairy - I am so tense right now I haven't seen a chiropractor, I might suggest it to my doctor next time I see her. I'm going to try massage and see where that gets me.

[mew]

Hey bunnii, for those really bad hair days...how about just using a headband or a buff to keep the hair away from the face, and put the rest in a loose braid maybe. I guess sometimes hair just misbehaves, probably aggravated by stress in your case.
I would say don't fuss about it too much, do something nice for yourself to get your spirits up. :) Good luck!

[bunnii]

***UPDATE***

My hair is behaving, my scalp still hurts alot but it's getting better bit by bit. I've been using source mint shampoo about once a week for clarifying and doing vinegar rinses and now my rinsing is down to 10 minutes max. i'm also doing CWC on alot of washes but with a moisturising shampoo and very little, it's helping the whole rinsing aswell.

Massage has also helped alot, I massage my hair before I wash and it relaxes me as well as moving the oils and making my hair healthier :)

And I got a couple of headbands, although I can't wear them for more than a few hours before I get a headache :rolleyes: but all in all, my hair has improved and it likes me again and I love my hair!! :D

Thank you everyone for you suggestions and encouragement, you really have saved my hair :flowers: :flowers: :flowers:

[Slug Yoga]

You know, I wonder if the water you use is affecting the condition of your hair? Like I believe soft water makes it hard for things to rinse clean, and hard water can add minerals and make things gunky. I wonder if getting a shower filter or rinsing with distilled water might help?

I usually cannot wear headbands (the u-shaped ones) without getting a headache. Even if they seem loose at first, after a while I start to get a headache where the ends touch my head. But there are some cloth ones that are more like a circle with elastic, and those are very gentle and I've never had a problem with those.

I'm sorry you're depressed, I know how that is and struggle with it myself. *hug* Your hair looks so beautiful and shiny in your sig!

[Melisande]

Hey, I'm so glad to read that!! And the best is: not only you feel better again, but this thread may help someone in the future in a similar situation.

You have beautiful hair.