Insecure about wearing hair up

[Oberon88]

Hi everyone

I was just reading the 'insecure about wearing your hair down' thread and was wondering if anyone here is on the other side of the spectrum.
When I was younger, I always wore my hair in a ponytail. It was easy etc, but then, with my moms encouragement, I started wearing my hair down more. It evolved into wearing it down all the time. People said it looked good and I began to think that it looked bad when it was up.
I hide behind my hair, I feel like my head looks weird :pumpkin: when I put it all up. I'm still shy of updos, but I am getting better.

Is there anyone else here like me?

[Saranne772]

I was a little, but Im trying to avoid damage so I also have to avoid being down. I hate my ears so I would hide them ;)

[Katze]

I don't like wearing my hair up. It feels like I'm not really pulled together, and is unflattering to my face, head size/shape, and figure.

However, having seen some pics of my hair from the back, down, when *I* thought it looked OK, and pics of it up when I thought it looked yucky, I realize I can't see what other people can see.

The only updo I like at the moment is a messy twisty thing held with a Ficcare, with my crown hair pulled straight back. That makes me look up-to-date and flatters my face. The rest - blah.

[Shanarana]

I feel more secure about myself when my hair is down for sure.

[Hairytale]

Well, I was feeling awkward with my hair up for a looong time, so I only wore it down. That actually frustrated me a bit, because I grew (and am growing) my hair to wear nice updos - my longer hair was rather pointless. :rolleyes:
But when I started SO, my hair started looking better being up than being down, so I started to wear it up every day. (I am participating in the "Wear your hair up for one year" challenge.)
The awkward feeling has now turned into the complete opposite: I'd feel really awkward with my hair down, so I wear it up all the time. In fact, I'm happier than before because growing my hair and therefore being able to wear nice updos really paid/pays off!

[sipnsun]

I feel very insecure with my hair up in a bun because it so fine and thin that it makes my bun look so tiny. I feel like people stare at it and think "wow her hair is thin". I usually put it in a loose braid to make it look thicker.

[Magicknthenight]

I was a little, but Im trying to avoid damage so I also have to avoid being down. I hate my ears so I would hide them ;)

Same here. I never put my hair up because i was so self conscious about my ears. When my hair is down the tips poke through my hair. They have been made fun of before. Some people said i reminded them of a fairy though haha.Basically this summer i just stopped caring. I have no idea how i did it! Maybe it was the love for my hair:D and wanting to protect it. It just started with wearing it up in my room...to wearing it up around the house..to going out with it up. Maybe you could take baby steps like wearing it up at home that seemed to help me. Now i wear it up all the time. I'm happy I'm no longer so self conscious about my ears. I don't even really notice them anymore. Their just..me. I don't think I'd have it any other way. I think it just depends on what your used to. I'm not gonna wear my hair down for a while and have had it up all the time that I've went to this new school year. I plan on doing this until I'm at waist. (I'm really close but not QUITE there!) But i know already that i will be worried about going with my hair down and exposed. Last year someone threw gum in this guys hair. It was really curly and he just cut it out then everyone was messing with him saying their was a bald spot when their wasn't. So...I'm hoping to get only positivity from everyone!
But anyways
I hope you find a way to be comfortable! Baby steps! We always judge ourselves the harshest eh?
I'm getting better at accepting myself though! I hope things work for you. best wishes!:)


*Sorry i ramble sometimes lol

[sexyjacksparrow]

I'm insecure about wearing my hair up as I don't like the way I look with it up and it's not long enough to do anything very exciting with either.

[Ohio Sky]

I prefer to wear my hair down because I suck at updos, plain and simple. They tend to give me headaches and never look as good as I want them to.

I used to wear my hair down exclusively before LHC, but now I wear it up most of the time simply because it's easier. It's getting long enough that it gets in the way if it's left down, and I don't want to have to pull it up if I have to do something where I want it out of the way, and I don't want to comb it during the day. Plus it's wavy, so it poofs under a lot of conditions.

I still let myself wear my hair down if I think I'm having an awesome hair day though, usually a day or two after washing, because it just looks better, IMO.

[nucleardelusion]

I love having my hair up, whether it was long or sort, but I also get those headaches. I scatter after nearly every event to pull my hair down. I have a collection of hairbands on my wrist in case I lose some while constantly putting it up and down at work. :p

[spidermom]

If I want to feel "pretty" (I use that term loosely at my age), I wear my hair down. But I'm not insecure about wearing it up. It's a lot less hassle when it's up.

[ZaBasDa]

I dislike how my face looks, and my hair down hides that. Oh and I have awful baby hairs that end up looking like multiple pairs of devil horns that won't disappear. They are gel and hairspray fearless, naught will tame them.

I actually posted in the insecure about hair down thread too. I just worry about how my hair looks, but those devil horns are pretty bad.

[frizzinator]

I used to be insecure about wearing my hair up because I thought it looked terrible. I have worn my hair up everyday for nearly a year. I love wearing it up now thanks to all the information I've learned here on LHC!

[Marcipangris]

Yeah I'm definitely insecure about wearing it up. I look like some sort of imp/goblin-like creature or possibly Golem from Lord of the Rings, if Golem had a ponytail.

[Soniasonia]

I feel weird with my hair up. Like I said to my mom when we were discussing how to do my hair for my wedding, whats the point of having it this long if im gonna put it up?

[Paliele]

I have always felt way insecure about putting my hair up--mostly because I feel so uncoordinated and can never get it symmetrical! but also because I have a square hairline and a squarish chin and that much squareness is overwhelming. So I cut it all off. And now I'm growing it back, but in this reincarnation I'm going with bangs/fringe, which will hopefully help with the holy-cow-what-a-square-face issue.

[<She>]

When I was little, I rarely wore my hair up. In highschool I've never put it up, and I started wearing it up in November last year. Actually, I wore it in braid first, then a ponytail. But I still can't wear it in a bun out of my home, I feel naked with a bun. I'm too self-conscious and I think I look weird with it up.

And I also hate my ears showing, but now that I have more piercings (and plan on getting more) I don't mind them being shown.

Usually now I wear it in a single braid or French braid, or a ponytail. If I'm going out at night though, I wear it down.

[MsBubbles]

Yeah I'm definitely insecure about wearing it up. I look like some sort of imp/goblin-like creature or possibly Golem from Lord of the Rings

:laugh: Very funny! I can totally relate, except I think I look more like one of the elves - Orlando Bloom, perhaps.

Insecure about wearing hair up...let's see:

- long body + wide hips + little head + dead flat hair on me = headless
- sticky-out ears + dead flat hair on me = ugly
- growing out highlights + dark roots = sinister
- ineptitude at updos = embarrassing

Yeah. I have plenty of insecurities! And on a pure vanity point, if I'm walking around in public with my hair down, I get plenty of attention. As soon as I put it up, I disappear into the background! Who needs an invisibility cloak?!

[beyondcute]

Im still struggling with putting my hair up. In addition to giving myself a headache (headbands, ponytail holders, bobby pins, hate, scarves, usually anything on my head after a few hours gives me a head ache) I just dont like the look of all of my hair up, My head is semi large. Okay scratch the semi LOL and I have a round face. But then again when my hair is unstretched it only hits about shoulder so I dont think Im doing too much harm just yet. Maybe I should stop while im ahead... *sigh* One step at a time. I just gave up heat. Maybe Ill try that next month. All of that rambling to say you are not the only one.

[30isthenewblack]

I used to wear my hair all different ways before & for some reason, I started wearing it down all the time. I am trying to wear it up to protect my hair. Through this forum, I am really re-discovering a love for my hair & I can't wait until it's longer so I can try different hair styles. It makes me feel strong and empowered when I have my hair back which is change because I felt if I cut my hair, I would be like Samson & lose all my confidence and strength :D

[kaorifun]

I think wearing my hair back away from my face is very unflattering. I feel like it looks too harsh against the features of my face.

Also, I had to wear my hair up for work for the past four years, so now that I don't have to, I want to wear it down. I don't know how long that'll last, though... I'm sure it'll get in the way.

[n3m3sis42]

I used to be *so* insecure about wearing my hair up, because I thought it made my head look to big or my face look too pudgy or whatever. Fortunately, by the time I reached my thirties I stopped caring much if people thought I had a fat head.

I do still have *some* insecurities about wearing my hair up. These stem from the ridiculous numbers of broken hairs and "wispies", which I am hoping will decrease now that I don't wear ponytails anymore (I have switched to buns and rarely use elastics except on the end of my sleepbraid at night). Also, I have really bad scalp cleavage sometimes.

This doesn't stop me from wearing my hair up a lot, because I am trying to minimize damage and it's just too darn hot to wear my hair nearly waist-length hair down a lot in Georgia in the summer. But if I want to look "pretty", I usually wear it down.

[rhubarbarin]

I am definately feel less confident with my hair up. I have bad skin and having my hair down hides breakouts.. and having hair framing my face is just more flattering. With my hair back you can see how tiny my face and head are - I need some volume around my face. Also my buns are so tiny, which is a little depressing.

But I still wear it up a lot anyway. I have a lot of damage and breakage and I need to protect it. I don't care if I don't look my best at work, or walking my dogs, or doing chores. I usually only wear it down when I'm with my boyfriend as he likes it that way.

[Wasabipea]

I'm definitely insecure about wearing my hair up, but I have been doing it more frequently because it's been getting in the way a lot lately.

I actually started growing my hair so I could sort of hide behind it - I'm one of those people that shows every emotion on my face, anybody can at any time tell what I'm feeling. So my curtain of hair is almost a safety net for my privacy, if that makes any sense.

Plus I really don't like my profile, and when the hair is up - it's all profile!

[Ellethwyn]

I am very insecure about how I look with my hair up or pulled back. I have large ears that stick out (which are cute if they are sticking out of my hair;)) and I have a rather flat & wide face. I have not found any updo that is flattering on me. I'm trying to get over it. I asked for flexi8's for Christmas. I received 2 beautiful flex8's, the proper size for my hair, but still they slip out of hair. So does my bone hairstick, unless i do a tight bun (but that is painful). My hair is quite fine and slick. It doesn't hold curls (if I were to use a curling iron, which i don't) and it always slips out of updo's.
I think it's probably good hair for braiding, so I think I will start focusing on more intricate braids. I really don't like how thin my braids are, though. I totally envy thick hair!

[Cassyopeia]

My hair has always been like a safety blanket. And I'm a very "jeans and tshirt-lady". Wearing anything else makes me feel dressed up. And it is the same with my hair. Anything but a low ponytail or braid and I feel like I'm going to a ball. But I have bought myself some pretty hair toys and learning a few buns and walking around at home with them to become more comfortable with my hair up.

[Agnes Hannah]

I am very insecure about how I look with my hair up or pulled back. I have large ears that stick out (which are cute if they are sticking out of my hair;)) and I have a rather flat & wide face. I have not found any updo that is flattering on me. I'm trying to get over it. I asked for flexi8's for Christmas. I received 2 beautiful flex8's, the proper size for my hair, but still they slip out of hair. So does my bone hairstick, unless i do a tight bun (but that is painful). My hair is quite fine and slick. It doesn't hold curls (if I were to use a curling iron, which i don't) and it always slips out of updo's.
I think it's probably good hair for braiding, so I think I will start focusing on more intricate braids. I really don't like how thin my braids are, though. I totally envy thick hair!

Hi I have very fine and thin hair too, and it took some practice with forks and sticks, even now I have only a limited style repertoire with sticks. I wear a french pleat daily at present because I have been in a 100 day challenge which finishes on 31st December. During this time, I have been using a french pleat comb (well several actually) which suits my hair really well and holds like rock. I have also been using ficcares, I have small and mediums but the small are more secure for me. I also like using claw clips as they hold my slippery hair well in a pleat or a bun. Braids should hold your hair too, and after my challenge is complete I want to investigate braided buns. Because my hair is so fine, I can look a bit severe with it drawn back, sometimes I use a small pad at the front to give a little pouf to it. Small accent braids are also a good idea for breaking up what may be a severe look.
I hope you find what suits you best, good luck!

[lapushka]

I am very insecure about how I look with my hair up or pulled back. I have large ears that stick out (which are cute if they are sticking out of my hair;)) and I have a rather flat & wide face. I have not found any updo that is flattering on me. I'm trying to get over it. I asked for flexi8's for Christmas. I received 2 beautiful flex8's, the proper size for my hair, but still they slip out of hair. So does my bone hairstick, unless i do a tight bun (but that is painful). My hair is quite fine and slick. It doesn't hold curls (if I were to use a curling iron, which i don't) and it always slips out of updo's.
I think it's probably good hair for braiding, so I think I will start focusing on more intricate braids. I really don't like how thin my braids are, though. I totally envy thick hair!

I can see the length of your hair in your avatar. If your hair is not that thick (iii), then you should be able to make a LWB by now - comfortably. Maybe try that one?

[Ellethwyn]

Hi I have very fine and thin hair too, and it took some practice with forks and sticks, even now I have only a limited style repertoire with sticks. I wear a french pleat daily at present because I have been in a 100 day challenge which finishes on 31st December. During this time, I have been using a french pleat comb (well several actually) which suits my hair really well and holds like rock. I have also been using ficcares, I have small and mediums but the small are more secure for me. I also like using claw clips as they hold my slippery hair well in a pleat or a bun. Braids should hold your hair too, and after my challenge is complete I want to investigate braided buns. Because my hair is so fine, I can look a bit severe with it drawn back, sometimes I use a small pad at the front to give a little pouf to it. Small accent braids are also a good idea for breaking up what may be a severe look.
I hope you find what suits you best, good luck!

Recently I have caught onto ficcares. I might try those. I think an updo with a french pleat comb would look great! That'll be another thing i'll add to my list of hair toys to try. Thank you for the tips!

[Ellethwyn]

I can see the length of your hair in your avatar. If your hair is not that thick (iii), then you should be able to make a LWB by now - comfortably. Maybe try that one?

Thank you! I will try that one. I think it might be the one I've been doing ( I don't know what it's called). This is the one I normally do
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG9PPb8gCsI

[yahirwaO.o]

I totally dislike they way I look with my hair up!!!! I did it for years and now I feel matronly-geeky in guy terms. Also there is some kind of thing about feeling oppressed when its up, you see, it is expected that I have it up for work terms or feel tidy in people's' mind. AS IF!!!

I'm a free spirit human and my loose hair goes well in that nature. For cooking and cleaning there is no option, but for living or going out I prefer to have it clean and down instead of hidden greasy hair up.

And I really prefer french dutch braiding versus bunning if I need it out of face!!!

[lapushka]

Thank you! I will try that one. I think it might be the one I've been doing ( I don't know what it's called). This is the one I normally do

This is how you do a LWB. The finger placement is a little bit different:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvKbxNBHjOI

[Ellethwyn]

This is how you do a LWB. The finger placement is a little bit different:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvKbxNBHjOI

Thank you! I gave it a try a couple times and it came undone almost instantly each time. Maybe I did not do it right. I'll try again.

[lapushka]

Thank you! I gave it a try a couple times and it came undone almost instantly each time. Maybe I did not do it right. I'll try again.

I know the vid is in German but she tries to explain that by moving your index finger and thumb closer or wider apart you can play with the tension of the bun. Closer together, tighter bun, more apart, looser bun.

[Ellethwyn]

I know the vid is in German but she tries to explain that by moving your index finger and thumb closer or wider apart you can play with the tension of the bun. Closer together, tighter bun, more apart, looser bun.

Oh, that is what she was saying! I had my finger and thumb wider apart, so no wonder it came easily undone. Thanks!

[adrenaline]

I feel insecure wearing my hair up... i had acne and was hiding my face behind my hair. I adjusted to that behavior and so I´m still doing this. But its okay, i have thick and healthy hair, actually i guess i would wear them down most of the time, even if i had not made this experience :o

[ErikaRenee]

I think my face looks awful in updos, but I have been told that's not true. Recently, I have really gotten serious about them, because my split ends gets bad. I just like to face frame with tendrils. I am getting compliments.

[sparkbunni]

I have so many insecurities about updos! I'm afraid my face will not look slim, and I'm very self conscious about the baby hairs on my neck. And my hair is thin, so any style that shows my scalp makes it even worse. Honestly I wear the fanciest earrings I can find when I wear updos to try to have a distraction.

[Alarice]

Where I live, long hair is somewhat common, not very--but those who do have long hair seem to be wearing it down, not up. So socially, here at least, I think I have felt a bit odd wearing it up, like it's old-fashioned or something. I also haven't liked wearing it up because I felt it wasn't flattering for my face. Since I don't wear makeup or super-girly clothes, and am not curvy, having visible long hair helps me feel more feminine, so for ages I have always worn it down, but I'm getting used to the idea now that I can have it up and still look nice. Plus it is more practical chore-wise and should help me get to my goal-length. :o

[Ellethwyn]

I have so many insecurities about updos! I'm afraid my face will not look slim, and I'm very self conscious about the baby hairs on my neck. And my hair is thin, so any style that shows my scalp makes it even worse. Honestly I wear the fanciest earrings I can find when I wear updos to try to have a distraction.

Same here, I wear fancy dangly earrings to act as a distraction when i wear my hair in an updo!

[b70]

My hair is fine, on the thin side and barely APL lengt, so my buns /updos are tiny. Maybe I will feel better about my updos when my hair is longer (bigger buns and longer braids...). I do wear my hair up every day for work, but I do feel that I look older, more uptight and definitely not sexy with my hair up. If I am going out and want to look good hair is always down. And preferably with heatless waves - then I feel gorgeous ;)

[curiop]

I work in a laboratory so I have to have my hair up for work, and it's too long for a ponytail as that now falls over my shoulder, so a bun is pretty much the only way I can go about things. I used to feel insecure about it but a lot of people compliment me on my hair toys and how neat my buns look. Also means that if anyone sees me outside of work I normally get comments on how they didn't realise how long my hair is :D

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I was thinking about this thread while I was lying in bed last night. I want to say this. There are some parts of the world where the nape of a woman's neck is considered extremely sexy and wearing the hair up is an erotic thing to do.

I think the wearing the hair up not only shows off the beauty of a feminine neck and possibly shoulders, but also helps the eye delight in the line of the jaw and the pretty curve of the cheek. So many lovely things about wearing it up! You have the elegance of it, it makes the neck look longer, the person look taller, then don't get me started on the beauty and elegance and endless variations in updos.... Plus you have the enticing "mystery effect" where everyone will be wondering how long your hair is... Plus if that isn't enough to convince you, think of the protective effects for your hair which are many ;)

After our first date together my now DH texted me and asked me how long my hair was as he had never seen it loose. Let your hair be a mystery of delight :) And don't feel bad about wearing it up - honestly.

Whenever I have my hair up my DH likes to creep up behind me and plant a kiss on the nape of my neck or just behind my ear. Could he do this if I wore my hair down? All he would get would be a mouthful of hair..

[LongCurlyTress]

I completely agree with you Saralabyrnth!! My hubby does the same thing... sneaks up behind me and starts kissing me on the nape of my neck when my hair is up. I love that! He says he likes to kiss my nape curl but has to be careful of my hairstick!! lol...I met my hubby swimming laps and for the first month after we met, he always arrived at evening lap swimming after work and I was already in the pool swimming laps with my swim cap on. He didn't even know my hair was long until we finally went to dinner one night after swimming our laps! I did start taking off my swim cap and slowly dunking my long hair in the water and letting it drip down my back before climbing out of the pool, right in front of him. LOL... He still remembers me in my turquoise suit doing this!! :p

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I completely agree with you Saralabyrnth!! My hubby does the same thing... sneaks up behind me and starts kissing me on the nape of my neck when my hair is up. I love that! He says he likes to kiss my nape curl but has to be careful of my hairstick!! lol...I met my hubby swimming laps and for the first month after we met, he always arrived at evening lap swimming after work and I was already in the pool swimming laps with my swim cap on. He didn't even know my hair was long until we finally went to dinner one night after swimming our laps! I did start taking off my swim cap and slowly dunking my long hair in the water and letting it drip down my back before climbing out of the pool, right in front of him. LOL... He still remembers me in my turquoise suit doing this!! :p

That's so cute! I always giggle when he kisses me there! And then he laughs, too! ;)

[Mavi]

For quite a while I focused on the fact that because I don't wear makeup, when my hair was pulled back I tended to look like a potato. Then I realized that I didn't have to care, and once I stopped caring, I didn't look like a potato quite as much as I originally remembered.

[lithostoic]

Yes! I've got a tall big wide forehead so I like to keep it covered.

[maborosi]

I used to hate it. But there are certain styles that just don't look good on me, period. Anything very harsh or slicked back makes me look...I'm not sure. Just odd.

[Arctic]

I'm sure there are up/braided styles for everyone, that are both flattering on them (hair type, face shape...) and that feels good to wear (aren't out or too far out from the comfor zone). I think on many people, at least partially, it's also just a question of getting used to it, the feeling and the look.

I have many styles I think look bad on me, I make a mental note about them and wear other styles. Oh, I just remembered. When I was around 20 I probably wore my hair down almost all the time, because I clearly remember one time when I had it in sleek ponytail, I got suddenly tons of compliments and questions why I don't do it more often. I was flabbergasted, but it was very uplifting experience and I became to trust that upstyles work for me well. I'm not a traditional beauty at all, so it was somehow liberating to internalize I don't need to hide my face.

Speaking of which, it makes me very sad some of you call yourselves with such names as potato head. I mean potatoes are awesome and I love them, but I think positive self-talk is very important. Also small buns and braids are not a flaw, they are really beautiful, and often even show the patterns of the style more clearly.

This all being said, I most definetely don't think everyone needs to learn to wear their hair up, not even that every LHCer would need to do that. These are very personal things, and while updos/braids are beneficial for many, they might not be right for everyone, for what ever reasons. (But I do encourage everyone to try them, trying different styles and learning to see what suits them and what doesn't. Sometimes we need to stretch those comfort zone a bit, and they then will become our new comfort zones.)

[MsBubbles]

Thank you for pointing that out, Sarahlabyrinth! I hadn't thought of that in all the years I've been trying to decide hair-up or hair-down. I have a really long neck on top of a really long body + legs, so I feel a bit like a giraffe. But hey, might as well play up a potentially nice part!

[Ashflower89]

I was insecure about wearing mine up for a long time because of my hairline. I've had people joke that I look like a "cancer patient" when I wear beadbands or bandanas too. But I just don't listen anymore. Honestly I love wearing a really high ponytail, something about what it does to the angles of my face, makes it look all elegant and stuff lol.

[Frankenstein]

I've always been insecure about wearing my hair up for a number of reasons - acne, my ears, big forehead, what I see as a fat/much too round face, etc... In fact, up until recently I had not worn my hair up in public since I was 7! It's always been something I hide behind. But two months ago I learned the Chinese bun and I was so excited about it that I wore it out several times :) I've been wearing my hair down lately though because the insecurity started creeping in again.

[Alex Lou]

Yeah, I feel insecure if my hair is all up without any bangs. It's because I have this idea that I'm ugly or weird looking. I don't care that much anymore though. I routinely go to work with my hair all in a bun and no makeup. And lately have been getting complements from other women about how pretty I look. Proof that it's all in our heads!

[Alex Lou]

For quite a while I focused on the fact that because I don't wear makeup, when my hair was pulled back I tended to look like a potato. Then I realized that I didn't have to care, and once I stopped caring, I didn't look like a potato quite as much as I originally remembered.
Perfectly stated! Insert your personal insecurity instead of potato.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Perfectly stated! Insert your personal insecurity instead of potato.

Exactly. Realise that others are too busy worrying about their own insecurities to worry about yours, or what you look like. Others don't see yourself the way you do anyway. For example do you (hypothetical you) look at someone with hair up and think, wow she looks like a potato head with her hair that way?.....Of course not.....

So just relax and have fun with different looks and styles. Be you, not your insecurities. Don't be afraid, get out there and ENJOY the freedom of just being an unafraid YOU. :)

[lillielil]

I wear my hair up almost all the the time and 100% do not care. I also don't give a fig what I look like in general (which is good, because I'm a fairly plain looking fat person of middle years). I like what I see in the mirror, and that's good enough for me, even if someone else looks at me and thinks "potato".

[hobbitlocks]

I used to be REALLY self conscious about wearing my hair up. I have a round face so I always thought having my hair down made it look less chubby but even more so I HATED HATED HATED my widows peak when I was younger. But then I moved to DC after college and over the course of my first hot humid summer I just couldn't bear to have my hair on my neck all the time or have it in my face/on my forehead. So I started wearing it up more and totally out of my face. I also feel more professional when I wear it up because I'm not tempted to play with it! I feel like I've made a lot of peace with my face shape and enjoy wearing my hair up. I have been thinking about adding back in long side-swept bangs though, I haven't totally come to terms with my widows peak.

[Arctic]

Widow's peaks are cool! :thumbsup:

Rounder face shapes are pretty :thumbsup:

Middle years is the new black :thumbsup:

[hobbitlocks]

Widow's peaks are cool! :thumbsup:

Rounder face shapes are pretty :thumbsup:

Middle years is the new black :thumbsup:

This really made me smile! :)

[Bubble_Curl]

LOL! I like this thread, it's very empowering!

I used to love the way I looked with my hair up because I had cheekbones and I was slim. My hair was also shorter so I could have the ends flop out in a kind of pretty way. But I have become self conscious the last few years because of my jaw line and it's too long now to flop the ends out... but lately, I have been feeling a little better about it. I haven't figured out why but I might just be feeling a little more comfortable in my own skin. And that's always a nice feeling!

[Kendrix]

I used to be worried about it when my bangs grew out. It felt too harsh without dangle bits. Now, almost 2 years later, I am self conscious because scalp cleavage.

I have a lot of hair, but when my hair gets oily, it clump and springs apart from my two cowlicks, revealing what looks like a bald spot. French braids in particular make me self conscious because I can't see it as I'm braiding in the cowlick area.

[Ellethwyn]

I prefer to wear my hair down because i have a tattoo that is 2 inches big, that is behind my right ear... and it looks crappy. I like to conceal it with my hair being down. I want to get it removed, but it has a bit of red in it and from what i've read about tattoo removal, red is not supposed to be lasered off, because of its toxicity. :/

[MermaidKatie]

I feel flat out weird with my hair up. Probably because I don't even know how to do a basic bun nicely.. But also because I have a weird hairline.. It looks normal on one side but on the other there seems to be less hair, or an area of baby-fine hairs. It probably isn't very noticeable to others unless they knew about it, but I'm hyper aware. It stinks, because I love the look of ballerina buns and top knots.

In saying all that.. I have a really long neck, and long torso and I feel like a bit of a bobble head with my hair up!

[Persiangirl01]

I hate wearing my hair up! I look like an little boy :/

[Hailwidis]

I'm definitely insecure about putting my hair up. I generally wear my hair down at home and up when I go out (to class, to walk my dog, to do grocery shopping...) because where I live there is a lot of wind and rain and going out with my hair down would equal a head of knots to untangle when I get home. But by up, I mean in a ponytail, a braid, or an ugly uneven bun tied with a hair tie, because I suck at updos.

I wish I was more skilled at putting my hair up. I've tried practicing and experimenting with new hairstyles and updos but my fingers are fumbly, my arms get tired, and after several attempts they still just don't look right. I have a lot of practice and patience ahead of me...

Another reason I'm insecure about wearing my hair up is that I feel pulling my hair up and away from my face is really not flattering for me. I don't like my face shape and I really feel better when I have some hair framing my face. My hairline is also not very nice, so I always make sure I have at least my front strands loose.

[pinutzz]

I try to overcome my insecurities about updos with fancy hairtoys and if possible matching dangly earrings. My face is very square and broad and wearing my hair down hides that a little. With an updo I usually look frumpy and matronly - like a strict teacher. However with some fancy hairtoys and earrings it adds a certain lightness and makes it seem as if I put a lot more work into the bun than I actually did. After all it doesn't get any more lazy than a LWB - my go-to everyday style. Even so, if it wasn't all about protecting my hair I would never wear it up. I also can't seem to stop checking if my bun is still in place and holding up, even when it is rock solid.

[EdG]

I didn't think men wore updos until the man-bun fad came along. Then, every twenty-year-old suddenly sprouted a tiny nub of hair on his head. I thought "not many hairstyles could possibly look more ridiculous than that".

So, I started wearing my hair in a cinnabun. Unlike the typical man-bun, my cinnabun is a time-proven, elegant hairstyle. It serves the practical purpose of keeping my long hair from becoming tangled.

I now wear my hair in a bun every day. It doesn't seem out-of-place at all. :)
Ed

[Groovy Granny]

I try to overcome my insecurities about updos with fancy hairtoys and if possible matching dangly earrings. My face is very square and broad and wearing my hair down hides that a little. With an updo I usually look frumpy and matronly - like a strict teacher. However with some fancy hairtoys and earrings it adds a certain lightness and makes it seem as if I put a lot more work into the bun than I actually did. After all it doesn't get any more lazy than a LWB - my go-to everyday style. Even so, if it wasn't all about protecting my hair I would never wear it up. I also can't seem to stop checking if my bun is still in place and holding up, even when it is rock solid.

I am more than double your age but have had the same thoughts....and do the same thing lol

At my age, it was frowned upon to be long...and silver, so I figured I wanted to ROCK IT with nice unique hair toys and matching earrings.
Now I don't give a d--m what anyone thinks :wigtongue and Love my hair/style :crush:
The past 3 years has been a joyous and fun journey learning new hair things and expressing myself.

When I mentioned being afraid my hair would fall apart when I was down, trolleypup (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=120673&page=89&p=3185426&viewfull=1#post3185426) reassured me it was fine (It happened to him); if it unfurls....roll it back up and keep moving (improvising his words).
That actually helped me to relax, and I have a few things on me usually that I can modify my hair if a style fails (bun>ponytail etc)....no biggie :shrug:

Soft pieces pulled around your face, or a little lift help to soften the look.

HAVE FUN WITH IT; YOUR HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL!!


I didn't think men wore updos until the man-bun fad came along. Then, every twenty-year-old suddenly sprouted a tiny nub of hair on his head. I thought "not many hairstyles could possibly look more ridiculous than that".

So, I started wearing my hair in a cinnabun. Unlike the typical man-bun, my cinnabun is a time-proven, elegant hairstyle. It serves the practical purpose of keeping my long hair from becoming tangled.

I now wear my hair in a bun every day. It doesn't seem out-of-place at all. :)
Ed

Your new avatar and bun looks great; I think it is wonderful you take such good care to style it as you do :thumbsup:

[EdG]

Your new avatar and bun looks great; I think it is wonderful you take such good care to style it as you do :thumbsup:Thanks, Groovy Granny! :)

I credit LHC for improving my hair care by 1,000%. :)
Ed

[Groovy Granny]

Thanks, Groovy Granny! :)

I credit LHC for improving my hair care by 1,000%. :)
Ed

Me too :thumbsup:

I would never have completed the journey of growing out my silver from chin without them (no support here at home at all lol)..

LHC has been a joy and blessing in my life :flowers:

[Petulia]

I don't like wearing my hair up because I feel like strands of hair always come loose when I wear my hair in a bun or in a braid. Also, as a dark-haired girl, I have hair on the sides of my face (including my sideburns) that are very visible unless I wax, so I would rather have my hair down when I go out :-(

[Doom]

I wouldn't wear my hair up, not because of insecurities, but because I find it ridiculous to grow one's hair out and then hide that growth in a bun. Length for length's sake is not something I agree with: if someone is ashamed of his/her long hair and s/he wants to "remedy" that by bunning it up... then why have long hair to begin with?
It's disturbing to compare that behavior and cutters hiding their cuts with long sleeves because they are ashamed of them.

[JustPam]

I hate wearing my hair up in a bun, a ponytail is fine though. I don't have a nice head shape, it's narrow from the front and flat at the back. Plus I am tall and quite broad too so my head looks like a pea when all hair is up. Will usually only wear a bun at home, when neccessary for practical purposes.

[iYaap]

As a guy I never wanted buns because I was afraid that it would look too feminine outside and I even couldn't do them.
Then suddenly it became a trend and/or style for guys.
Now I even feel more secure doing handy and sporty things with a protective bun than with a ponytail.
My favorite still is loose hair but it is an extra option. :D

[Wildcat Diva]

I wouldn't wear my hair up, not because of insecurities, but because I find it ridiculous to grow one's hair out and then hide that growth in a bun. Length for length's sake is not something I agree with: if someone is ashamed of his/her long hair and s/he wants to "remedy" that by bunning it up... then why have long hair to begin with?
It's disturbing to compare that behavior and cutters hiding their cuts with long sleeves because they are ashamed of them.

Being ashamed of long hair is the least reason likely I can think of for wearing hair up. Many of us cannot maintain long hair that is in good condition if we wear it down and loose all the time, there is too much potential for tangling and damage. When your hair is very long it can get into everything and even be dangerous during certain activities. It can incur damage that will make long hair unhealthy and make you want to cut it off, perhaps. Some people have very resilient hair, but this is not everyone or even most of us, I would wager. So I put long hair up so that I can enjoy healthy, very long hair loose when I wish to, on my terms, not just so everyone can look at it all the time.

Also, very long hair loose can be distracting to some. I am a counselor and it's hard for be to get people to focus on themselves if they are mesmerized by how long my hair is, or if I get to fiddling with it or twirling it without thinking. I wear it down on wash day and love it... Otherwise it needs to go up and out of the way for a time. (Also, I have a most epic accessory collection which means I am putting it UP to enjoy wearing these. A bun is something I enjoy showing off; it's something I can't make if my hair is short.) It is one of the benefits of long hair. I'm not ashamed of it at all, and I don't know of anybody who would be. I work with people who engage in "cutting," and your analogy comparing putting up long hair to this behavior makes no sense at all to me.

Now some people see their long hair as PRIVATE, but this is also another thing.

[EdG]

As a guy I never wanted buns because I was afraid that it would look too feminine outside and I even couldn't do them.
Then suddenly it became a trend and/or style for guys.
Now I even feel more secure doing handy and sporty things with a protective bun than with a ponytail.
My favorite still is loose hair but it is an extra option. :DDon't worry.

You won't feel embarrassed about wearing your hair in a bun the next time you pass by a guy with the typically tiny man-bun. Just resist the urge to do a bun-drop. ;)
Ed

[gregh]

Don't worry.

You won't feel embarrassed about wearing your hair in a bun the next time you pass by a guy with the typically tiny man-bun. Just resist the urge to do a bun-drop. ;)
Ed

Haha. I would definitely be embarrassed if I tried to do a bun drop in public.

[EdG]

Haha. I would definitely be embarrassed if I tried to do a bun drop in public.I have to admit to never having done a bun-drop in public. The potential is intriguing. ;)
Ed

[Arctic]

If I'd try bun drop, this is what happens: My bun does not move at all after removing stick, I need to manually open it most of the time :D I don't mind, but it gives me giggles when I think about a scenario, where I would want to do a bun drop and it just wouldn't budge! :laugh:

[EdG]

If I'd try bun drop, this is what happens: My bun does not move at all after removing stick, I need to manually open it most of the time :D I don't mind, but it gives me giggles when I think about a scenario, where I would want to do a bun drop and it just wouldn't budge! :laugh:I do a quick nod to the side, and then to the other side, and all that hair comes out flying. ;)
Ed

[Wildcat Diva]

I think we need a video inserted here.

[EdG]

I think we need a video inserted here.A bun-drop instructional video. I love it. :cheese:
Ed

[JustPam]

Hehe, if my hair is clean it will spring right out of a bun, if not then it sticks, yuck.

[EdG]

I posted a bun-drop sequence in my blog http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/entry.php?b=125634
Ed

[truepeacenik]

Don't worry.

You won't feel embarrassed about wearing your hair in a bun the next time you pass by a guy with the typically tiny man-bun. Just resist the urge to do a bun-drop. ;)
Ed

Umm.... You know it's only males who buy that size matters. (All that much) :eyebrows:

[EdG]

Umm.... You know it's only males who buy that size matters. (All that much) :eyebrows:That's why I find the man-bun fad to be so perplexing. :shrug:
Ed

[vampyyri]

This is so me, every time I wear my hair up, I feel like I look weird! I end up having several face-framing pieces out to make up for it, otherwise I feel really insecure.

[MINAKO]

Ugh i wouldn't know. I really do my buns in a way that is so sleek i might as well have a shaved head from the front view. While i can get terribly bored of it at times i thing it suits me really well. I'm not insecure about wearing my hair down either but overprotective if not to say paranoid something might happen to it, which is ridiculous but it restricts my movement, so i tend not to (wear it down)

[PixieP]

I'm really insecure about wearing my hair up (or braided, anything that isn't loose). I have a big head, a strange headshape, I hate my face profile, and since my hair is thin then buns always get very flat and small, which only makes the parts I don't like show more. I don't like my profile and headshape when my hair is down either, but at least then I feel like my hair distracts from it. I force myself to wear it up because it's just not practical to wear it down all the time, but I don't like. Especially now that I've given up the teased up big messy buns.

[tiffycakes]

I was really insecure about wearing my hair up too. I actually only ever wore my hair down for the last 12 years, and one silly boy didn't help my insecurity as he said, "Hey, you look BALD!" the one time I wore my hair up. But recently I've started wearing my hair up (in the last two months) but I have nice side swept bangs now so I don't feel like I look so bad. Or bald.

[Upside Down]

I am not crazy about the bold look on me either. I did wear it though for quite a while.

Although side swept bangs are a keeper for me, especially since I permanently streightened my hair.

My favorite style atm is side braid. Low buns also work well with these bangs. I like the variation. Before it was just slicked back semi high bun every day.

[Thinkerbell]

I personally feel sometimes insecure wearing my hair up but for a different reason. I'm afraid of someone grabbing my bun (like street harassment) or someone trying to cut my ponytail in the bus. I'm always prudent in transports, even if my hair are down.
I had a art teacher who made a big big breakdown when a student cut her hair while she was speaking with another student during the class. She had a classic length in a french braid and she came back to school with a BSL.
A guys already tried to burn a piece of my hair when I was talking to someone during high school :steam:

[MINAKO]

Oh lord, i heard the stories about braid assasination but if someone would try to grab my bun i'm sure i'd be quicker to finish them then they can destroy the mayority of my hair. Bun feels safest to me but if my hair is down i pull it under my jacket or sweater on public transportation. Alone the thought of some strangers skin rubbing on my hair grosses me out

[ExpectoPatronum]

Meee!

I hate wearing my hair up. It totally comes from self-confidence issues and wanting to kinda hide in my hair, so to speak. I just feel so exposed when it's up!

[molljo]

I don't like wearing my hair in buns (except for very high top knots) because it makes me feel like I did when I finally got tired of having a pixie. My face is too exposed when seen from straight ahead, like my hair is afterthought as opposed to its own feature, if that makes sense. I feel like I have to overcompensate by wearing big earrings, more makeup, more femme clothing, which really isn't me anymore. I grew out of that, and now I'm trying to find a balance between tomboy and femme, and buns make me feel too butch, I guess, because they mimic the pixie so much. Right now my go to hair styles are twin braids, milkmaid braids, folded twin braids (like Kirsten the American girl doll), top knot, and down. These styles are all very girly, so I can balance that with the more androgynous clothing I'm drawn toward now.

[blondebear]

I know I am replying to this 8 yrs post original post. However, I am so happy someone wrote about this. I have been told my multiple people that my hair looks bad up. I've had 1-2 people say it looks good, but more because it is a change. Even though I am fit, I have a round face and some flab under my chin. I think that the hair hides this. I wish I felt more confident to wear my hair up though. Especially when it is hot. I also have a tattoo behind my ear I hide at work with my hair down.

[blondebear]

@expectopatronum - totally agree

[BroadwayBeauty]

I hate wearing my hair up! I have a forward leaning neck, and once when I was in middle school some chiropractor at a vendor fair pointed it out and tried to make me an example to everyone around me. It absolutely mortified me, and ever since then I've preferred to wear it down. I'm still so self-conscious about my neck that I can barely bring myself to wear my hair in any other style than totally down when I leave the house.

[Saige]

I don't like how I look with my hair in a bun. I think it's because I've heard so many people say buns are for old ladies or librarians, which makes me want to yell at them :justy: I've been wearing my hair in a braid at work for a year or so. Yesterday I plucked up the courage to wear a bun and it didn't go well. I got weird looks and people that normally say hi just ignored me ... :confused: it did nothing for my confidence.

[faery_braids]

I hatehatehate putting my hair up in buns. A lot of buns make me feel...matronly. :| Like, I just have the wrong face shape and end up looking soooo much older than I am a lot of the time (mum says she doesn't think so, but she's my mum, so...). I have been getting a bit more confident wearing them out--particularly large, puffy ones--but most of the time I just wear them around the house instead of out. Which sucks for when I do want to go out in summer because I already overheat so much quicker than others and I hate not having many styles I feel comfortable in that pull my hair off my neck. Not to mention I don't even know where my cute mechanical pencils from uni are anymore to use as hair sticks like I used to, because hey, at least I'd get compliments on them if not on my hair...

[reilly0167]

I was at first, but now I put it up in a bun, for protection and its hot as heck here in Florida ( I work outdoors all day in a heavy a$$ costume) and with all these pretty styles its fun to change things up to keep it up:D

[MINAKO]

I find it interesting that so many people confirm this. If i see a face i can tell what the person looks like regardless of their hair. Sometimes i find other girls super pretty just like that even if absolutely hate their choice of hairstyle, or even if they have no hair like some girl i often see who is just insanely gorgeous and looked just as good when she had hair. Its not that related for me, but maybe for most people it is. In fact i would never wear my hair down on a day when i feel that i'm looking a bit bad cause thats disgrace to that fabulous hair.

Same goes for men, while i like ling hair on them too some of the hottest guys i know are shaved bald cause of receding hairline and self concious about it sometimes but they look absolutely fine to me.

[JustPam]

I think hairstyle does make a big difference in how someone looks. Just like clothes or makeup can change how you look, what's flattering for one individual may be the opposite for another. Or if I wear a dress (a rare occurrence in itself) that I do not like, won't matter if the rest of the world says it looks good, I won't feel good in it. Same with hair I think.

[browneyedsusan]

I have to admit to never having done a bun-drop in public. The potential is intriguing. ;)
Ed

I double dog dare ya!

---------

Wearing hair up doesn't bother me one iota. I'm probably conditioned from years of pixies!
My hair has totally fallen out in fitness class and at work. I just put it back up. No biggie?

Wierdly, even though I think it looks better with some front pieces pulled out, I can't stand to have hair in my face if it's "up". I'll make a victory roll, accent braid, or pouf up the top; but face-framing pieces are not happening. (They happen on accident pretty often, because my hair is slippy, but drive me berzerk!)

[Ellethwyn]

I hate wearing my hair up! I have a forward leaning neck, and once when I was in middle school some chiropractor at a vendor fair pointed it out and tried to make me an example to everyone around me. It absolutely mortified me, and ever since then I've preferred to wear it down. I'm still so self-conscious about my neck that I can barely bring myself to wear my hair in any other style than totally down when I leave the house.

This is another reason why I dislike wearing my hair up!

[vampyyri]

I'm back here again, I'm trying to do the wear your hair up challenge because the condition of my hair is so much better when it's up for a while.

But I just can't get over how weird I look with just my bangs on my face. My face framing bits are too long now to keep out, so I always get really self conscious and want to take it back down :wail:

[browntatis]

Hello.
I also feel very uncomfortable when my hair is up, I love to feel my hair on my back and around my face, I feel confident this way, prettier!
But I am also crazy about enjoying the hair up challenge! Specially because I want to protect my hair and stop using heat for some time, but I am afraid because I feel ugly with my hair up and I can't find alot of options for my short hair, I am at APL but because of my layers, some of my hair its still at SL and chin :( I been wearing my hair up for the last 4 days but my hair bun is so tiny! I will say microscopic, I am embarrassed! And too thin and flat ifI do a mini-pony tail, and if I do a french braid, it looks like a rat tail LoL ...
What can I do?

[ElvenEngineer]

I was thinking about this thread while I was lying in bed last night. I want to say this. There are some parts of the world where the nape of a woman's neck is considered extremely sexy and wearing the hair up is an erotic thing to do.

I think the wearing the hair up not only shows off the beauty of a feminine neck and possibly shoulders, but also helps the eye delight in the line of the jaw and the pretty curve of the cheek. So many lovely things about wearing it up! You have the elegance of it, it makes the neck look longer, the person look taller, then don't get me started on the beauty and elegance and endless variations in updos.... Plus you have the enticing "mystery effect" where everyone will be wondering how long your hair is... Plus if that isn't enough to convince you, think of the protective effects for your hair which are many ;)

After our first date together my now DH texted me and asked me how long my hair was as he had never seen it loose. Let your hair be a mystery of delight :) And don't feel bad about wearing it up - honestly.

Whenever I have my hair up my DH likes to creep up behind me and plant a kiss on the nape of my neck or just behind my ear. Could he do this if I wore my hair down? All he would get would be a mouthful of hair..
Aww. That is really sweet. :D Also a wonderful way to think about it.

[Seratopia]

Yes, yes, yes. So me. I hate wearing my hair up and wore it down all my life. I think my insecurity came from middle school when I wanted to change myself and put my hair up for once. After school, I was waiting for my mom to pick me up and two older boys came out of the school doors and started picking on me. After their hurl of insults and me walking away from the situation already crying one said to the other "that has to be the ugliest little girl I ever seen." I heard him say that, and my self esteem plummeted in a downward spiral from then on and I vowed to never wear my hair up (had it in a pony or clip that day). I still feel ugly wearing it up, my boyfriend tries to say he loves it but I have trouble believing him. I prefer braids over anything.

[Twilight Echo]

I do like wearing my hair up - when not many people can see. All throughout primary school I was wearing it up in a ponytail, and hated it. I felt it was boring and too bookish. I vowed to never wear it up unless absolutely necessary for high school. Now I generally wear it down, unless it is a bad hair day or my hair keeps falling in my face. I know better than to think it boring when it's up now though, as I'm having fun twisting it into new styles.

[JustPam]

Hello.
I also feel very uncomfortable when my hair is up, I love to feel my hair on my back and around my face, I feel confident this way, prettier!
But I am also crazy about enjoying the hair up challenge! Specially because I want to protect my hair and stop using heat for some time, but I am afraid because I feel ugly with my hair up and I can't find alot of options for my short hair, I am at APL but because of my layers, some of my hair its still at SL and chin :( I been wearing my hair up for the last 4 days but my hair bun is so tiny! I will say microscopic, I am embarrassed! And too thin and flat ifI do a mini-pony tail, and if I do a french braid, it looks like a rat tail LoL ...
What can I do?

A few ideas: donut bunforms, roll-up styles (chignon, gibson tuck, headband roll etc), crown braid. Pinterest is your friend for hairstyles! I don't like my hair up either, I have a pea-head, but I do it out of necessity, even a ponytail isn't up enough any more, especially for exercise. I should really try more hairstyles too, I do the same bun all the time.

[Arctic]

Hello.
I also feel very uncomfortable when my hair is up, I love to feel my hair on my back and around my face, I feel confident this way, prettier!
But I am also crazy about enjoying the hair up challenge! Specially because I want to protect my hair and stop using heat for some time, but I am afraid because I feel ugly with my hair up and I can't find alot of options for my short hair, I am at APL but because of my layers, some of my hair its still at SL and chin :( I been wearing my hair up for the last 4 days but my hair bun is so tiny! I will say microscopic, I am embarrassed! And too thin and flat ifI do a mini-pony tail, and if I do a french braid, it looks like a rat tail LoL ...
What can I do?

You can change the way you talk about your self and your hair for starters :) Then, try different way of styling your hair, some will suit you better than others, so stick with those.

If that is you in your avatar, you don't need hair to frame your face, it is lovely by itself!

[missrandie]

Call me crazy here, but I have always felt more contained and a little more elegant with my hair up, whether with bangs or without them. If I felt a little troubled by the lack of volume on top, I just fluff that area up a little more.

Nobody has an "ugly" face when their hair is up. It's still your face; you can just see all of it!

Seratopia, they were beyond cruel to you, but you need to realize something: neither one of them remembers what they said. They were showing off for eachother and lifting their own self esteem in the way they knew how: by putting others down.

Instead of letting a pair of thoughtless imbeciles define who you are for the rest of your life, start loving yourself consciously.

Look at yourself each day in the mirror, smile, and say "I love you." pull your hair back and say it. Put it in a bun, a braid, anything, but tell yourself that you love you.

[lithostoic]

I'm saying f*** it and doing the wear your hair up challenge. Despite not having confidence in how I look without hair in my face, it's more important to have healthy hair. I just hope nobody points out my insecurities.

[missrandie]

I'm saying f*** it and doing the wear your hair up challenge. Despite not having confidence in how I look without hair in my face, it's more important to have healthy hair. I just hope nobody points out my insecurities.

If they do, I have a feeling you'll promptly tell them where to go!

[lithostoic]

missrandie you know me well, haha.

[Arctic]

I'm saying f*** it and doing the wear your hair up challenge. Despite not having confidence in how I look without hair in my face, it's more important to have healthy hair. I just hope nobody points out my insecurities.

Well, lithostoic, you could be a model, so wear your hair up and out of your face proudly! Be "stoic" enough for not to care about what others thing, and if they feel inclined to inform you take the figuraive litho[graphic] stone and smash their opinions under it (not that I encourage violence! I am a pacifist!) :)

[HairPlease]

I just don't like having my hair up. It gives me headaches no matter how loose, tight, high, low, or type of style - bad headache in two hours or less. Besides, I'm not growing my hair out to put it all into a knot on my head. I want a long braid. Are braids actually considered "up" though? I just can't stand bun type styles. Plus I like leaning my head back on stuff. Buns get in the way.

[Goatcraft]

I always feel weird and unattractive with my hair up, but I've gotten to the point of just not caring. If I want knee length hair, it's something I have to do.

I'm willing to make the sacrifice!

[sumirechan]

It's was the other way around for me, until I grew out my hair and now it's in a disarray and in dire need of a trim. My hair length is not even. It looks messy in a ponytail and the ends feel like the ends of a broom stick. *sob* This is why when I go out of the house, my hair is up in a bun. This is to hide the fact that I can't wear it in a ponytail without looking like I am not "put together" or that I just rolled out of bed. *sigh* It doesn't help also if you have a mom who keeps saying that your hair looks unruly and very coarse as you are trying very hard to grow it out and maintain it. :( That adds to the insecurity.

So yeah. You can say that it was just recently that I developed this "insecurity".

[jlau1827]

I used to hate wearing my hair up for the exact same reason: I thought it didn't suit me and I looked ugly. It didn't help that my partner would always comment that I look weird every time I had it up. After chopping to chin length, I had to put it up as it started growing because of the awkward hair stage. Now I'm used to it and my partner no longer says anything. I had no choice back then but now I'm glad I did put my hair up every day because I'm no longer as self conscious about it.

[Spinder]

Sometimes I feel insecure, because I don't feel I look as cute or charming. I try to counter it by telling myself now I look more womanly and chic. :)

[Väsen]

Absolutely. I feel like wearing my hair up makes me look very odd... It makes the top of my head look tiny and my jaw and cheeks big, which is not a good look. I'm also self-conscious about my weight, and a smaller head makes my body look larger in comparison. With my hair down I can floof it up and hide my arms and make my head look big.

[Mrstran]

I use to never wear my hair up until I cut it recently. Short hair on me looks just as bad as hair pulled up. My face is too skinny, and my profile is very sharp. My long hair helped to hide it all. I am VERY self conscious now, even more than I was.

[Arctic]

I use to never wear my hair up until I cut it recently. Short hair on me looks just as bad as hair pulled up. My face is too skinny, and my profile is very sharp. My long hair helped to hide it all. I am VERY self conscious now, even more than I was.

Awww, skinny face is nothing to hide, it's just one face shape among others. I bet the features you try to hide the most are what make you YOU in the eyes of other people. And what I mean by that, is not that people zero in on the feautures we ourselves perceive as "flaws", but people see us as a whole, individual "pictures" (in opposition of pieces of puzzle) and appreciate the characteristics that make you YOU.

You don't need to hide the characteristics, embrace them!

That being said, I am all for finding a comfort zone with hair styles, makeup, clothes, etc, and finding what flatters you. But it is different from hiding features than are individual and make you look like you. Maybe different type of updos would make you feel better? I have long face myself too, and for example adding edwardian rolls on the sides makes my face appear more balance, while still not hiding it.

[eladriel]

This is definitely an issue for me. I used to wear my hair down all the time, so when I did wear it up (probably once in like two months) people were actually surprised. Now I'm a lot more comfortable with it because I found hairstyles that look good on me and kind of stopped caring so much about trying to look perfect all the time.

[Mrstran]

Awww, skinny face is nothing to hide, it's just one face shape among others. I bet the features you try to hide the most are what make you YOU in the eyes of other people. And what I mean by that, is not that people zero in on the feautures we ourselves perceive as "flaws", but people see us as a whole, individual "pictures" (in opposition of pieces of puzzle) and appreciate the characteristics that make you YOU.

You don't need to hide the characteristics, embrace them!

That being said, I am all for finding a comfort zone with hair styles, makeup, clothes, etc, and finding what flatters you. But it is different from hiding features than are individual and make you look like you. Maybe different type of updos would make you feel better? I have long face myself too, and for example adding edwardian rolls on the sides makes my face appear more balance, while still not hiding it.

That is very nice of you. I will have to come back and keep reading what you have said once in a while, maybe I can drill it into my head eventually. Any you are right, this is what we should be doing. Thank you

[Gothic]

I'm afraid of wearing my hair up because where I live buns that are not the trendy "messy bun" are viewed as grandma-ish, old fashioned. It's stupid but I can't help feeling judged.

[Arctic]

I'm afraid of wearing my hair up because where I live buns that are not the trendy "messy bun" are viewed as grandma-ish, old fashioned. It's stupid but I can't help feeling judged.

If your style otherwise on non-grannylike then a bun isn't going to affect it that much. And you can always make your bun looser and bigger (=messier) even though it wouldn't be the certain type of messy bun (made with elastic and backcombing). Also stuff like placement of the bun impact the overall look, middle hight bun probably could be seen the most grannyish (although for me that's where most of mine are because that the comfiest placement for me). Don't forget fun accessories, earrings, makeup, accent braids.....

[Seratopia]

http://i66.tinypic.com/rrjbd2.jpg http://i66.tinypic.com/33ju8uf.jpg

Alright so I'm going to step out my comfrot zone and post these hideous pics lol. Sorry I don't look happy, Ive been trying to figure out what to do with myself and my hair for hours. This is me in a bun. I think I look like a monkey or a boy and hate how my front view looks. My scalp is red from pulling up over and over and I can't find anything I don't immediately tear out of my hair. I tried a middle part, no part, side parts, all nasty on me. Idk if my face is too circular but golly day it's frustrating. I try to pull out strand of hair to soften the look but even that looks bad. Sigh. Any suggestions? I like my side view and back but front? Never.

[MidnightMoon]

http://i66.tinypic.com/rrjbd2.jpg http://i66.tinypic.com/33ju8uf.jpg

Alright so I'm going to step out my comfrot zone and post these hideous pics lol. Sorry I don't look happy, Ive been trying to figure out what to do with myself and my hair for hours. This is me in a bun. I think I look like a monkey or a boy and hate how my front view looks. My scalp is red from pulling up over and over and I can't find anything I don't immediately tear out of my hair. I tried a middle part, no part, side parts, all nasty on me. Idk if my face is too circular but golly day it's frustrating. I try to pull out strand of hair to soften the look but even that looks bad. Sigh. Any suggestions? I like my side view and back but front? Never.

1. you are BEAUTIFUL
2. I get it, having a round face sucks, but mine is actually rounder because you seem skinnier... BUT YOU DONT LOOK BAD!!
your eyes are captivating, your lips are gorgeous, like, dude, Id kill for your face....

seriously, I loved both pics, specially the second one.

[Arctic]

Seratopia, you have a very beautiful face, if I were you I would be wearing a bun/updo with gladness! I think you have heartshaped face with stunning bone structure, btw.

[Seratopia]

You guys really made me smile. Thank you...:blushing: I appreciate your feedback. I'll just have to work with what I got I guess. I do hope other insecure girls will have courage to post their pics as well for styling help or a reality check because.. Maybe it is all in our heads? :shrug: I do need sleep for sure though, too much LHC.

[JaneHathaway]

http://i66.tinypic.com/rrjbd2.jpg http://i66.tinypic.com/33ju8uf.jpg

Alright so I'm going to step out my comfrot zone and post these hideous pics lol. Sorry I don't look happy, Ive been trying to figure out what to do with myself and my hair for hours. This is me in a bun. I think I look like a monkey or a boy and hate how my front view looks. My scalp is red from pulling up over and over and I can't find anything I don't immediately tear out of my hair. I tried a middle part, no part, side parts, all nasty on me. Idk if my face is too circular but golly day it's frustrating. I try to pull out strand of hair to soften the look but even that looks bad. Sigh. Any suggestions? I like my side view and back but front? Never.

I'm sorry you're seeing yourself in this unflattering way; in my opinion you have a great face, feminine but with a dash of defiance and strength. This is an advantage as it sets you apart from the sea of bland vanilla pretty that's everywhere irl today. Your eyes and lips are gorgeous - wonderful assets.

If you want to soften the look of your updo, you might try a bit of volume on top rather than tightly pulled back. (I have no idea how to accomplish that - if you find out, let me know!) Another idea: when pulling out strands to soften the look, maybe try pulling them from the sides, closer to the front of the ears. You may like that better.

[Groovy Granny]

Alright so I'm going to step out my comfrot zone and post these hideous pics lol. Sorry I don't look happy, Ive been trying to figure out what to do with myself and my hair for hours. This is me in a bun. I think I look like a monkey or a boy and hate how my front view looks. My scalp is red from pulling up over and over and I can't find anything I don't immediately tear out of my hair. I tried a middle part, no part, side parts, all nasty on me. Idk if my face is too circular but golly day it's frustrating. I try to pull out strand of hair to soften the look but even that looks bad. Sigh. Any suggestions? I like my side view and back but front? Never.

You are so pretty :)

But I do hear you....and have had the same concerns at times.
My hair is fine, and very sleek in dry air, but in humid air I get the new growth halo :doh:

I had a few remedies that worked for me:

1) Start with a half up or even just the top layer....poof your hair up on the front/secure...then bun the rest.
You can use small barrettes, hidden plain or decorated bobby pins.

2) Thanks to Sarahlabrynth....Bend over at the waist and brush your hair upside down, gathering it where you'd like, then bun/ponytail (that gives lovely softness and lift)
It can be tricky with fine hair, so be careful to avoid tangles

3) Rather than brushing all your hair behind your ears, brush it out then gather it while keeping your ears covered.
When you start to bun, you can gather the hair, then push it against your scalp in the back, &/or lift at the crown to poof it a bit.

You'll find something that works for you.....keep hope,and get rid of those self labels (monkey ears etc) :flowers:

I know personally.....we can tend to scrutinize every detail :tmi:

Get creative, have fun styling/ blinging it up ....and focus on the POSITIVE :cheer:

[Seratopia]

Ooo nice ideas Groovy Granny.. I'll have to try them out and see if they work for me too. Thank you.

[Groovy Granny]

Ooo nice ideas Groovy Granny.. I'll have to try them out and see if they work for me too. Thank you.
You're welcome ~ I hope so :)

Eventually you may just stop looking at details (and yourself in the mirror each time you pass it) = just style it and go.
I have...well at least 80% of the time :wink: LOL

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Seratopia, you are absolutely gorgeous in those photos! Your beautiful facial bone structure is wonderfully shown off with your hair up - you look stunning! Just take no notice of that little voice in your head because it is LYING to you about how you look.

[littlestarface]

I agree with the others you look beautiful and your hair up makes you even more stunning! You should wear it up all the time lol

[MegHan-Solo]

I used to be a lot more insecure about wearing my hair up. I used to get my grandma doing the "why don't you pull your hair back so I can see your pretty face". As a kid I always used to get my huge ears pointed out and called things like Big Ears (from Noddy) or Dumbo. My ears were nearly as long as my head. Luckily my head has grown and my ears haven't so it's not so bad any more but I have learned to accept them. Then it moved to being called baby face and chubby cheeks, which also made me hate wearing my hair up. I hate having it all scraped back but can usually feel okay if I have some face framing curls hanging down. Then when I was blonde I used to French plait my hair a lot and got told I look like Elsa! A much better nickname than Dumbo I think!

Seratopia, looking at your pictures I am actually jealous of your face shape. You have such nice cheekbones and I think your face is more heart shaped than round. You said you've tried pulling some bits out to soften it up; that's usually my go to, but have your tried curling those bits, and also sometimes I pull out bits further down just in front of my ears instead of at my parting, it makes me feel like an elf from Lord of the Rings or something (though I think it would work better on you than me, elves don't tend to have chubby cheeks and square faces).

[abribun]

I am very very self conscious of wearing it up, especially in a ponytail. My hair is so so thin, the base of the ponytail looks like a little rat tail lol it's so embarrassing. I prefer wearing it down in braids because I can flare them out to look thicker.

[_fred_]

It's been the work of many years to get rid of a lot of insecurities about how I look, and I'm still insecure about wearing my hair up. My ears and large and they stick out. Sometimes, I can clip my hair back with my ears on show and be OK about it, but not often, and only really when I'm alone. I've been using a little hair scarf thing a fair bit lately, because I can use it to keep my hair back and cover the tops of my ears at the same time.

Really looking forward to when my hair's longer and I can wear it half-up with the tops of my ears covered.

[Serimel]

I think I look 100% better when my hair is down and framing my face. I've worn it mostly down for most of my life but at my work I have to wear it up so I've gotten used to it little by little.

[Aredhel]

I definitely look better with my hair down. My face is almost perfectly round, so having my hair up emphasizes its roundness. It took me my whole life to work up the courage to finally wear it up (started a few months ago), I'm still not able to wear my hair up when I'm out, but I only have it up when I'm at work and at home now.