Do you secretly critique other peoples hair?

[bunnylake]

Do you secretly critique or just take careful notice of other peoples hair?
Since becoming more active on this board, I think I do this a lot now. I realize that I'm constantly looking at every other woman's hair and noting the length and condition of it, and then I think of all the things they could be doing to improve it! :p

[march_sun]

I do that too. It's not as if I have such amazing hair.
More often I stare with envy!

[Kelikea]

OMG I was just thinking of this today. There is a lady where I work, who has long hip-TB hair, straight and blunt cut. From a distance, it looks perfectly straight, smooth, very thick. Up close, I can see so many splits at the bottom, maybe 3 inches or so. I have the urge to snap them, lol:) She probably uses a blow dryer and straightener. I can only imagine how long, thick and beautiful it would be without the damage!

[Kyla]

I admit I do, but I try not to. There have been times when I've had unhealthy hair, and I'm sure many people judge me for having long hair with no layers. So I try not to judge, but I'll still notice if someone's hair is really bad.

Today I admit I was a bit weirded out by a girl and her hair in class though: she found a split end and they pulled it apart while the hair was still attached (aka lengthening the split until it split to her scalp), then when it snapped flung one piece on the ground. She also pulled other splits off with just her fingers, snapping her hair. I wondered if she thought that it helped...?

[Micayla47]

not only do i think about what people should do with their hair, i've taken to giving unsolicited hair advice!! i've convinced my sister, my mom and a co-worker to stop using chemical hair dyes. i've also given out 3 copies of the "curly girl" book to my girlfriends who have gorgeous curly hair, which they straighten, blow dry, and flat iron. what can i say? i'm a teacher. i like instructing people!

[blaketob]

Literally my exact thoughts today! Lol I am always critiquing others hair all day long when I'm in class or in a store it's a sick obsession. I always am grateful that my hair looks much shiner and healthier than most other peoples

[LizTheLyre]

i do it all the time!!! i;m more judgemental about my friend's hair then strangers, posssibly because i know their hair habits... most of them look at my hair as the length they've been growing for years to get to, but never reached, and i've only just reached midback!!

they are crazy for thinking their hair will grow well and look good with they way they treat it, and i'm crazy for thinking anything i say will change their mind. :P

[rock007junkie]

I found myself secretly doing that on the bus. I would see these women with their pressed hair and a massive amount of split ends. I would be secretly screaming in my head "Oil your ends" "Get a trim".

[DinaAG]

yup cant help it when it comes to extreme damaged ends or thining ends or dealing bad with their hair

[spirals]

Yes; I have friends who think detergent on their hair is ok if it's organic/natural. Maybe that's true for other people, but said friends have dry, fried hair. The good news is that since I made a haircare kit for 1 friend, others have started asking me for advice. Convinced a friend tonigt to try coconut oil, and tomorrow I'm bringing her some homemade leave-in for her little girl's hair.

[Ocelan]

Guilty! Atleast a little bit.

One of my friends has quite fried dyed hair and there's broken hairs everywhere. Partially it could be just her texture but I doubt it. However she has now turned more to direct deposit only hairdyes and no longer chemical dyes so much. Also I gave here a tangle teezer as a present since she was admiring the ones me and my other friend had. :)

On the bus I also mostly look at people's hairs in the way of which are (sometimes badly) dyed and which are not. And then the why do they want to maintain those short cuts and have to blowfry and mold their hair in place every morning always comes to mind. They have it much harder than me since I can be out of the door in a minute with my hair in a bun and they have to do that every dat breaing the hair even more.

[Suguru]

I don't know whether you would call it "critiquing" other peoples' hair, but I do notice when people have either lovely, healthy hair or hair that could do with a little Tender Loving Care.

One thing that I have noticed is that since long hair has come back into fashion there are lots of girls with waist-length, hip-length or longer hair, but their hair tends to be in a lot worse shape than girls with shorter hair. I think a big part of this is the constant wearing of their long hair down, continuing to lighten or flat-iron as they did when their hair was shorter and the avoidance of haircuts. A few of my friends haven't had a trim in years because they want their hair to grow long. This is technically true, of course, but not trimming combined with rough handling leads to split, dried out hair that no amount of coney serum or oily deep treatment can really fix. In some cases these girls are fully aware that their hair is full of split ends but they don't care, valuing the length over the health of the hair.

Fair enough, each individual should have the right to decide how they want to wear their hair, I just think it's a shame because it does perpetuate the "long hair = damaged hair" mentality.

[melusine963]

I definitely notice other people's hair more since joining the LHC, but I try not to be too judgemental. My own hair is hardly enviable.


Today I admit I was a bit weirded out by a girl and her hair in class though: she found a split end and they pulled it apart while the hair was still attached (aka lengthening the split until it split to her scalp), then when it snapped flung one piece on the ground. She also pulled other splits off with just her fingers, snapping her hair. I wondered if she thought that it helped...?

Gah! I have a friend who used to do this out of habit. When she couldn't find a split to pull apart, she'd go ahead and create a new one. I drove me nuts.

[piffyanne]

>snip<Today I admit I was a bit weirded out by a girl and her hair in class though: she found a split end and they pulled it apart while the hair was still attached (aka lengthening the split until it split to her scalp), then when it snapped flung one piece on the ground. She also pulled other splits off with just her fingers, snapping her hair. I wondered if she thought that it helped...?
My dad says my aunt (his sister) used to have this habit. It drove dad NUTS! :rollin:


I found myself secretly doing that on the bus. I would see these women with their pressed hair and a massive amount of split ends. I would be secretly screaming in my head "Oil your ends" "Get a trim".
It's so much fun to imagine you sitting there screaming in your head. I'll have to take up the habit myself, I think...


I DO evaluate women's hair, though I don't critique. I offer helpful advice in my head, but I've been known to tell her once or twice.

I met a woman recently with what must have been the biggest Curlies, Brush Your Hair! >boom< I've ever seen. I suggested she comb her hair while wet and not touch it, and see what happens.

I hope she tried it and liked the results.


The rest of the time, I stay quiet and enjoy all the pretty hair I spot in the wild! :)

[PolarCathy]

Yes, I do notice dry/split/velcro/fried hair and then I have my inner monologues :)

[piffyanne]

Yes, I do notice dry/split/velcro/fried hair and then I have my inner monologues :)
This should be a skit. "The Long Hair Monologues". Very empowering! :gabigrin:

[jacqueline101]

I do it more often since I've been on this site I've never paid attention to bad hair I look at the long pretty hair.

[Tota]

I only notice other people's hair that stands out in one way or another - it is extremely beautiful or the opposite. I don't critique it, I just notice it :)

[AineMuirne]

I always look at hair now, especially on the bus. I look for split ends on the girls around me and wish I had scissors to cut them off. :P

[Ticky]

I don't do that. At least not consciously :shrug: Sure, I notice someone's hair if it stands out (unusual color, length, etc.) but I don't go around thinking ''he/she needs to cut that off, or buy some oil''. I figure that they would already do something like that if they wanted to.

I do understand that it is in our nature to look at others and notice what we like and don't like. Maybe it's because I dislike social situations, but most of the time I think about other things, so I don't notice much :o. Sometimes, which is probably the case with many members here, people have hair issues/thinning due to an illness, or things that they aren't in control of. It's not easy for everyone to chop off those thin ends and that is fine. Their head, not mine.

Anyway, I am not going anywhere here, since I am sure that none of us have bad intentions when thinking about such things. I have yet to get some medication next week and my mind is foggy and all over the place. Sorry about that.


About pulling split ends apart... I feel like that would have a creepy, squeaky sound. Think nails on chalkboard. It probably doesn't, although it does in my head. :laugh:

[IndigoOptimist]

I do that too... Mainly to the people I work with though, the girls that is :p One has extensions and relaxes her hair, another dyes her hair almost every month, another back combs... being around them all day makes me really funny. I look at the split ends, the damage and I just wanna say 'do something nice to your hair for once!!!'. But of course I don't because that would be rude :p

[Amygirl8]

Oh yes, haha.
I do it all the time.

[mzBANGBANG]

I don't know if I critique so much as I envy them! I'm so addicted to this length goal that I often miss the sleek, albeit damage prone, hair styles.

[IzzyFlyy]

All the time!!! Ever since I was 15 in high school. I have always been careful with hair and I remember one time a good friend of mine was brushing her hair so violently I heard hairs snapping like crazy and I freaked out... but yea I work at a travel center and see tons of people and I always notice hair... good bad and ugly!

[Syaoransbear]

Only when they are wearing really bad hair extensions, otherwise no. I have no idea if maybe that person is doing nice things for their hair and maybe they have a poor texture, poor diet, or they've recently gave up heat styling/dying/brushing harshly and their hair is still transitioning. It takes a long time to grow out damage.

But bad extensions drive me nuts. I can spot them from a mile away. If I can tell they are extensions, what's the point of having them? If they are bad, they don't make it look like you have long hair. They make it look like you have short hair with weird super long strands sticking out randomly.

[Ephemeral]

I absolutely do!! Especially if I am behind someone in line - I can't help it. There are so many women that would benefit from just a bit of oil in their hair....

[rtree721]

I do critique other's hair whether or not I want to admit it... mostly it is those who tell me how they really want to grow their hair long. These are the people who use chemical dyes, blow dry, and straighten. All I can think is that they don't get to do those things and have long healthy hair. To me it is one or the other. Of course I wouln't say that though because I am sure it would come off offensive even if I am trying to help. :P

[Winnie!]

Admittedly, I do it occasionally! I definitely notice people's hair much more than I ever did previously: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

[dwell_in_safety]

I do. I used to not particularly enjoy it, but now I embrace it. :p It's led me to give compliments to quite a few people.

[HintOfMint]

Sometimes a lazy mental S&D to pass the time, but nothing along the lines of, UGH, she should NOT do all those terrible things to her hair!

Actually I'm more openminded of other people's hair now. If someone's hair is flat or unlayered or any number of unconventional hairstyles, I think more power to them they wear their hair how they like. A friend of mine once made a comment to me about another girl's hair and how she needed layers and I told her that some hairtypes really don't look good with layers and some just don't like them and there's nothing wrong with that. I think, knowing that I'm a big hair person, she thought I would be more opinionated but I wasn't.

[MrsGuther]

The first thing I notice about other women is their hair now. I am always admiring people's hair when I go out and about. It makes me feel like I'm a creep, but I'm not! I sware! I just love pretty hair! :)

[EyeFuzz]

I explain my stares as an appreciation of hair. There are several ladies around my campus whom I admire because of their hair. Some are waist length and seem taken care of but there are also other women who I see and tend to cringe slightly. I've come to realize that well kept hair gives people (specifically women) a more put together look.

[AnnaJamila]

I notice hair and skin. I try not to be judgmental but if there's something *I* would consider as a problem I make up a silent treatment plan in my head. I approach it as an esthetician, nothing mean, just business.

[catamonica]

When I'm out & about, I always look at women's hair. I have seen older women with waist or longer hair. Sometimes I will complient them & tell them about TLHC.

[hufflepug]

I notice if they have nice hair, but I don't judge if their hair is in bad shape. You never know what a person might be going through health wise, mentally and physically, that could be effecting their hair.

[HintOfMint]

I notice if they have nice hair, but I don't judge if their hair is in bad shape. You never know what a person might be going through health wise, mentally and physically, that could be effecting their hair.

This, absolutely! Two years ago, the winter absolutely destroyed my hair and I had no idea how to deal with that damage and dryness. I WAS trying desperately to take care of my hair, but failing miserably. My fail-safe routines were... well... failing. A few people commented and it felt terrible because I just wanted to scream, "You don't think I'm TRYING???"

[millyaulait]

Yup... :D

I love looking at other peoples hair, good or bad!

[hellucy]

All the time... I always keep my thoughts to myself though, I wouldn't ever make any negative comments.
ETA - Although if someone has gorgeous, long, envy making hair I would happily compliment them.

[velvetvenus]

I do this constantly but have to remind myself not to stare for fear of seeming rude or like a stalker! I do get a bit frustrated at times though as a couple of my close friends dye and bleach their hair and blowdry and brush (all those things I have given up) yet they still have hair that remains in excellent condition and grows faster than mine. I suppose as life's not fair, nor is hair...

[RubySlippers]

Me too! I do this everywhere I go. Although it seems my friends and family are exempt (I just had lunch with the girls and didn't even look!)

Yesterday I nearly stopped a curly girl just to say "well done! Whatever you are doing with your curls, it is working" they were amazing! (but more often I judge!)

[nena_shawty]

I do!! I'm always telling my mom how this girl needs that and this other girl if she would only do this to her hair ,her hair would look alot healthier and it wouldn't fall out . LOL =D .
I finally got my mother to let her hair dry before she brushes it and to stretch her washes another day or so. I havn't however got her to not hack at her hair as though she was hacking at a bush with a machete , it gives me the willies.lol

[PraiseCheeses]

When I first joined, I mentally critiqued everyone. It was hard not to - getting so absorbed into all the hair talk and information and pictures here made me suddenly very aware of something I'd never really paid attention to.

Then I became more aware of all the "transitioning" threads - people growing out dye, people giving up the heat tools, people who had had a styling or chemical disaster - and it lent a new perspective to the "bad hair" I'd see around me. Maybe they were in the middle of their own transition. Maybe they just like their hair that way - and that's cool too. The critiques cooled off into mere observation after a couple months. I still notice hair and a thick, healthy, beautiful braid sure gets my attention, but mostly I just appreciate and admire the variety. :)

[sharonluvscats]

Yes! I never used to notice hair at all before joining LHC now I'm always doing the same thing. I'll see someone with damaged hair and think of how I could fix it. I feel terrible for doing it. I feel kinda of snooty.

[Bianca]

Yes. I do this too :) Often its bleached to death and I get the urge to dye it darker to match the roots and put some heavy conditioner on it. I most often see pretty long hair though, that I then envy a little :p

[auburntressed]

I definitely notice hair that is APL or longer, but I don't usually mentally critique it unless I have also heard the person who has it complaining about this or that hair problem or griping about how they just CAN'T do something. Usually the things I hear are easily remedied if the person would just think it through logically, and the real problem is that they are unwilling to take the time to treat their hair properly. I just feel like... sorry, but why have long hair if it's too much bother to care for?

I also am more critical of close friends and family, because I hear more gripes from them. Like... my mom complaining that she can't grow her hair because it is curly and red. Sorry, that is hogwash. I also have a friend who lets her hair get to APL then chops it to chin, and it works for her. But what doesn't work for her is stretching washes, because her hair ALWAYS looks like an oil slick. It never looks or feels clean. She needs to wash her scalp daily, but she has stated that she doesn't because it's just too much bother. I find that gross, and I think it looks unhygienic enough that it is hindering her job search. I understand having hair that sometimes looks greasier than it feels, but for me I can put it in braids; and that disguises the look. This friend only ever pulls her hair back in a slick ponytail, which only emphasizes the oil slick look. I cringe looking at it sometimes.

When people with really short hair complain a out what their hair can and can't do, I don't generally critique it mentally beyond, "Well, they'd be able to do more with longer hair..." Because I'm really no expert on caring for short hair.

[shutterpillar]

I don't really critique other peoples hair, but I am constantly wondering if people I see out in the world are wearing extensions. It seems like waist length hair is "in" now, so I am constantly wondering what is real and what is not. Most of the time I am able to tell, but there are a few people I have met who I just always thought had nice long hair, but it turned out they got extensions put in frequently.

[GreyArea]

Oh, yes, yes. I'm usually relieved when I see somebody with a lot more damaged hair, even more if it's shorter than mine. And I'm thinking about how much she should chop off. Yes, I'm mean. :(

[Uhlizubeth]

I catch myself hair-typing and diagnosing all the time. Whenever girl's complain about their split ends or hair breaking off but still constantly dye and flat iron their hair I get so frustrated. Then there are people with beautiful hair that I make an effort to compliment

[jellymill]

Yes, but only if it's really bad...i.e. fried, back-combed, bleached into oblivion. I do notice and admire if it's really nice hair or really long. Scraggly ends bug me to no end though.

I try not to judge too harshly because there was a time not long after I moved to a new climate and had a hard time finding a new hair care routine. My hair also became sun damaged, no matter what I did it always looked brassy-red and stiff on the ends. Took several months to get a handle on that!

One person I do judge however is my sister. I wish I could help her, but she refuses..

She got amazing hair genes (we're half Pakistani/half white and she got all the great Indian hair genes). She used to have BEAUTIFUL dark-brown-nearly-black hair with reddish tones: Thick yet not coarse strands, natural shine, sleekness and volume. Her hair grew faster than anyone I've seen, and didn't need regular trims (like mine does) to look healthy. At 17 she got her first grey, by 20 she was dyeing regularly. Now 23, her hair is a mess. I went home to visit this summer and was absolutely shocked at the rapid deterioration of her hair. She is too self-conscious to stop dyeing it and doesn't care about the condition of it as long as she can use products to make it look presentable for work/school. After using heat and dye daily for years, in addition to bleaching, highlighting etc occasionally, she's lost a lot of the thickness and volume. Her hair reminds me a little of African-American hair post-relaxer. Fried, dry, no shine, oddly fluffy-coarse texture, and hair easily sticks up if prompted to.

I wonder if indigo would help her cover grays and if it would be gentler for her hair?

Wish I could move closer so I could more easily coax her into letting me help her take better care of her hair. I'm sure her beautiful hair would grow back if she'd stop frying it.

[Mayflower]

I do notice badly damaged hair, but I don't critique it since there was a time where I thought that hair should just look cool and pretty (and it did, but it was also really dry and damaged).
I would've laughed at anyone who would give me advice on how to make my hair healthy back then; I just didn't care.

However, I love giving people advice when they ask for it, and they regularly do. If I know someone's trying to grow their hair out but they don't know where to start or what to change about their hair care, I share a few tips with them to help them on their way. I don't think anyone outside the LHC is interested in looong conversations about hair. :laugh:

[blaketob]

I do notice badly damaged hair, but I don't critique it since there was a time where I thought that hair should just look cool and pretty (and it did, but it was also really dry and damaged).
I would've laughed at anyone who would give me advice on how to make my hair healthy back then; I just didn't care.

However, I love giving people advice when they ask for it, and they regularly do. If I know someone's trying to grow their hair out but they don't know where to start or what to change about their hair care, I share a few tips with them to help them on their way. I don't think anyone outside the LHC is interested in looong conversations about hair. :laugh:

Lol me and my one friend can literally sit and talk about our hair for hours on end :p

[goldloli]

Not really until unless its really bad or they make a big deal out of it only to find its short and not great condition.

There is a girl at the gym, she got new heavy layers from from ear down on her shoulder length hair. I complimented her as it looked cool, she then says she's tryna grow it long for her wedding and it's taken 2 years to get that long. Her hair before was around chin stacked bob I think. If you take into account the new layers she effectively has the same hair with some slightly longer pieces at the bottom. I said 'oh shouldn't you stop cutting if you're tryna grow long?' and she nicely put that I was wrong and that she had gotten so far so she knows what she's doing. She bleaches and straightens and I see that hair getting trimmed again in 2 months...

Yeah I judged her, more for her lack of knowledge than actual hair but I can't go around tryna educate people and telling them they're wrong. Besides there's so much propaganda from stylists and magazines, trimming hair every 6 weeks to make it grow faster, use this product for fast growth etc. Who are they more likely to believe?

Also I realised telling someone their hair care methods are wrong is as much as a social faux pas as telling someone the fad diet they're on isn't going to work.

[SwordWomanRiona]

I try to only gaze admiringly, not critique. Because it's not like I have perfect hair myself and I'm not entitled to bash anyone else's...Usually I see a lot of lovely heads of hair, so I only have to admire :). Other times, I see more damaged, unhealthy, unkempt hair, but I try not to analyse how they could fix their hair, because it's not really my business, is it...not that I always succeed in not thinking about it! As a hair-nerd, I can't help to notice nearly everyone's hair and its length, condition, colour, etc, etc :), but I think it's not very nice to bash hair that you don't like (variety's good), or even hair that you find unhealthy and/or damaged...unless you're talking hair with somebody and you point out styling things that are damaging, nicely. If I see a really damaged head of hair, I cringe inwardly, but try not to bash it harshly, because after all, I take care of my hair and I also have splits and bad hair days and everything, and I wouldn't appreciate people looking at me and critiquing me, after all...
Well, unless a person with overtly damaged hair chose to bash mine openly. Then, I suppose I'd counter-attack with LHC healthy-haircare arguments vs fashionable-length-and-styling arguments ;). And I suppose that if a person with damaged hair who bragged about it and made a good deal about it, possibly critiquing other people's hair or mine, would make me want to point out to her a few things about hers...but only in that kind of situation.

And as a good LHCer, I love giving hair advice to someone who's interested in it, of course :).

[SwordWomanRiona]

I catch myself hair-typing and diagnosing all the time. Whenever girl's complain about their split ends or hair breaking off but still constantly dye and flat iron their hair I get so frustrated. Then there are people with beautiful hair that I make an effort to compliment

That sounds a lot like me :D

[NoRush]

I do! I don't say anything about it because I know that I'd never want to hear such a comment be made about me (to my face, I know nothing will stop people from talking behind my back so I just never worry about those :P), but I can be very uncharitable in my own head I'm afraid :D :pins:, mostly when I see inches of split ends that have been flat ironed and glued into a semblance of order :scissors:, overbleached, uncared for stiff hair and, my personal favorite, ridiculously long extensions under short natural hair :nono:

[MasCat]

I remember going to Loreena McKennitt concert and whe she apeared (after 3 first tunes) my fist thought was "I wander what would her hair look like if she used curly hair methods" :)

Other than that - I notice others people's hair and I asses. I don't think I critique...

[4C4rly4]

Lmao yes actually. The other day I was in class looking around at girls' hair. Some have really dry hair, but others have soft hair. I was thinking about how the ones with bad hair could help improve the condition of their hair.