Inside area of back hair is completely annoying, help!

[daredevil14]

Hey all, I am a guy with shoulder-length hair, my hair is kind of curly and wavy, it's totally fine and it looks good when I wear it down such as this:

http://i49.tinypic.com/15zo7ih.jpg

However my problem is with a part of my hair that is only visible when I wear it up in a pony tale, it is not visible when it's down because it is inside the back area, I can describe it as: messy, not curled, damaged and hair's everywhere, as partially shown in this picture (unfortunately, not shown that much but some of you understand anyways):

http://i47.tinypic.com/2s79o50.jpg

So it's like that the ends are greatly curled but take a closer look above the ends, it's a nest of messy hair, and I have to wear my hair up these days (work) so I want it to look healthy!

As for my routine, I CO-wash only and rarely use a shampoo, I have tried a conditioner with a -cone and another one without a -cone, the result is great in both cases for the rest of my hair, however nothing is helping with the "nest"!

I feel like that no one has the exact same type as my hair (as it took more than 2 years of starting natural and chemically-straightening it for 3 times (the 1st year) and then stopping any chemical product and learning how to use a conditioner and properly comb while it's wet and in the shower (the 2nd year)).

Any help is appreciated!

[cooklaezo13]

If you don't like how it looks in a pony tail, have you tried wearing it in a bun or a braid instead?
I love your hair btw :)

[daredevil14]

cooklaezo13, thank your for the answer and for the compliment :), no actually, I dislike the look of the bun and I don't know how to braid my hair by myself! (I'd love to try it though)

As for my main issue, I found this picture, I hope it helps, this is how the inside back hair looks and it's more than this sample picture, it's a nest!

http://i50.tinypic.com/2egejjc.jpg

Any help? I really have to wear it in a pony tail and I dislike it when I see it! :/ (The middle-to-ends are awesome though)

[jasper]

Are you talking about how the hair at the nape of your neck curls tighter than the rest of your length?

I hesitate to suggest this, but would it help to get an under cut?

[CurlyCap]

It looks like those hairs are likely more curly than your canopy and are going to need some help with definition. My hair does this too.

Do you use any leave-ins?

[Kelikea]

It looks very curly and slightly dry. Maybe try leaving in some conditioner or an oil?

[daredevil14]

jasper, yes exactly, I really mean this exact area but I am afraid of even trimming, so imagine cutting!

No actually, I don't use any leave-ins, only the conditioner from the shower!

But here's something new:

While my hair is completely wet in the shower and while combing, I can see that the "healthy" hair strands (is this how they are called?) are completely wet and forming a thick one-line of hair, while the part of the hair I am talking about in this topic is already apart, not so wet (almost always dry), hair isn't one-line, instead it's like surrounding itself (can't really describe more than that!), so the problem is not with styling right? As this exact hair area is already like that even if it's completely wet!

Any help is highly appreciated!

[HobbitMopHead]

I also have the same issue.

What's helped ease it for me is that I wash it with cold water (in the sink of course), flipping my hair over my head as I do. It also helps to ensure that I'm getting conditioner on that area, and I leave it there for a few minutes. Afterwards I wrap my hair in a soft tee for a bit, getting as much water out before I do. I also work in the smallest smidgen of olive oil into those back hairs. I do believe coconut is favored, but it's just more convenient for me.

I feel it is a bit more involved than washing it in the shower, which is why I wash it the night before. Mind you, it's not completely gone, but it has helped, at least for me.

[MandyBeth]

The nape area has a ton of mechanical damage usually. With curly, dry hair - you need to use oils, butters, leave ins - something! - in your hair.

Start by seeing if your hair needs protein, moisture or both. There's an article on how to do so, I can't link off my tablet.

Then, go forth. In my daughter's tight, extremely curly hair, I use a glob of oil, a glob of shea and cocoa butters each, a glob of conditioner and two or three glops of aloe Vera gel. Those are technical measures, really. Work into her hair. Then, I usually chase her down and put more butters in and fluffed up areas.

Also - acidic rinse post cleaning. Lemon juice as the acid diluted in water helps the most with frizz.

Another issue, especially for curly hair - it may need a full soak daily. My daughter's hair must be really wet to reset her curls. Then, once the glop of choice is added, any touching will rearrange the curls. Which gets worse the drier your hair gets.

[MandyBeth]

Also, the nape area being radically drier may be you aren't getting conditioner and water all the way through your hair.

[Agnieszka]

I think your hair needs a lot's of moisturiser and special care as they are curly. I'm sure someone with hair like you will give you some great advice here.

I would definitely not brush them when they are dry (because it cause frizziness) maybe brush them or use wide tooth comb just before washing and after washing just squeeze water out gently without rubbing the towel against your hair and use your fingers to detangle them or just leave them to dry naturally.

I would for sure put some leave in conditioner. I think your hair has a great potential to look amazing with proper routine. They are really beautiful.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I would suggest using some oil or a leave in conditioner, it will moisturize your hair beautifully and help that difficult area so much. I worked for me, my nape hair used to love to tangle and turn into a rat's nest. Now it behaves 95 percent of the time.

[melusine963]

Everyone here has given great advice. I also recommend using oil as a leave-in conditioner.

[CurlyCap]

Read over this (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=100736). I think my pics of my "broken curls" look a lot like the area that's giving you problems.

Thing is, it's my curlier hair that harder to coerce into curling nicely. My canopy looks about the same with or without product, but with the tighter curls, product and styling make a world of difference.

You can play with the twists if you like. But I think just some light conditioner like Tresseme Naturals or VO5 (the tea series) will do wonders.

[daredevil14]

Thank you all for all these great tips, I am seriously considering your advice!

CurlyCap, your article is definitely great, I do the same as you but as a part of my daily routine after waking up (wetting hair into 2 large strands), but never have I done it after a full shower when my hair is properly combed and still wet, I will try it for sure!

Now, I finally got the conditioner I used to use before, to re-start my CO-wash, it's cone-free but still has SLS in it (which is exactly what I need since my hair starts to become annoying without a shampoo), I also bought a styling-leave-in conditioner but I discovered that it has the usual -cone "dimethicone", will this be a problem? (Whether related to CO-washing or in general?), also, how to properly apply it?

Thanks again :)

[daredevil14]

I am washing my hair soon, so can anyone kindly reply? :)

[CurlyCap]

Thank you all for all these great tips, I am seriously considering your advice!

CurlyCap, your article is definitely great, I do the same as you but as a part of my daily routine after waking up (wetting hair into 2 large strands), but never have I done it after a full shower when my hair is properly combed and still wet, I will try it for sure!

Now, I finally got the conditioner I used to use before, to re-start my CO-wash, it's cone-free but still has SLS in it (which is exactly what I need since my hair starts to become annoying without a shampoo), I also bought a styling-leave-in conditioner but I discovered that it has the usual -cone "dimethicone", will this be a problem? (Whether related to CO-washing or in general?), also, how to properly apply it?

Thanks again :)

While cones get quite the comments around here, there really isn't anything bad about them. Just be mindful that if you use a styling product every day that contains cones, you may need to clarify (shampoo) more often than people who don't. Be mindful in future of how your hair feels when you shampoo and when you don't.

Also, as a possibly money saving tip, many people find they can use their co-washing conditioner just fine as a leave-in. In my experience, only one conditioner that I've co-washed with hasn't worked as a leave-in. So if you're styling product doesn't work as you hoped it might, you can always experiment with products you already have. :D

Good luck!

[furnival]

I second all the suggestions for oiling and moisture treatments, but I would also like to suggest wearing your hair in a braid or a bun. The underside of your ponytail will rub back and forth across your back and shoulders whenever you turn your head and this will cause frizz and breakage and the 'nest' effect that you have noticed.

[jacqueline101]

I'd try some baby oil on damp hair.

[lovinglocks]

The bottom layer/hair by the nape of my neck does the exact same thing. I have wavy hair, yet the bottom layer curls, almost like loose ringlets. The bottom layer is damanges and tangles, and is splitting non stop. I do what I can on it but it just won't stop :(

[Katze]

to the OP, it sounds like you do take good care of your hair already!


It looks like those hairs are likely more curly than your canopy and are going to need some help with definition. My hair does this too.

Do you use any leave-ins?

This. I have a similar issue, even though my hair is barely-wavy to wavy, and those hairs just seem genetically programmed to not grow.

Leave-ins and oil help!


The bottom layer/hair by the nape of my neck does the exact same thing. I have wavy hair, yet the bottom layer curls, almost like loose ringlets. The bottom layer is damanges and tangles, and is splitting non stop. I do what I can on it but it just won't stop :(

Mine won't either - it has now reached shoulder (stretched) which is the longest it has ever gotten since I first noticed it in my teens.

[spidermom]

I'd finger-comb a mixture of aloe vera gel with a small amount of oil (olive and coconut are good).

My nape layer used to do that, too. Steel wool hair - ugh. But length has pulled that fluffy texture out.

[Thinthondiel]

Have you tried doing a deep conditioning? :)

[CandyFluff]

I have the same problem with the underneath layers being curlier, drier and more damaged than the outer layers. During the great coconut-oil-shampoo experiment, I learned something useful - I have always done as recommended and applied conditioner only from the ears down. When I was putting the coconut oil on from roots to tip I noticed a marked improvement in the condition of my under layers. I have since gone back to regular shampoo and conditioner, but now I make a point of applying conditioner all the way from root to tip, at least on the underneath layers where nobody will see if you put a little too much on. I make sure to massage it in really well. Then I apply a little coconut oil as a leave-in. The condition of my underneath layers has really improved and the length is beginning to catch up with the less damaged outer layers.

[itdontmatter48]

I am thinking the under neath hair is not getting proper conditioning, and a gentle combing with conditioner, but as always, start at the bottom length and work your way up. Good luck, you have beautiful curls.