"you have long hair! *touch*touch*"

[Juneii]

okay, so this has happened to me quite a lot before I cut my hair. I would be sitting and talking to my friends and minding my own business when someone I don't even know comes up and touches my hair and starts complimenting it.

it bugs me to no end.

I probably wouldn't mind so much if the person first complements me and then asks if they could touch it, but I find it so rude when they invade my bubble without even asking.
of course, I feel mortified if I have to ask them to stop. some silly part of me worries that they might think I'm being too uptight and mean.

so my question is, have any of you ever experienced something similar to this? and what did you do in that situation?

[kissedbyfyre]

ALL the time! Down or braided back I get random strangers touching it, picking it up to look at it, etc. Yeah, it's very annoying and VERY rude. My braids seem to cause the most problems. People tend to pick up the tassle, although I won't realize it until they drop it. My hair is heavy, but sadly feeling that dull thud when it's dropped is a very common occurance.

It's always followed by a complement and questions, which I'm happy to answer. Is it annoying, how long have you grown it out, have you ever cut your hair. The typical. I try to let it roll off me and go about my day.

People just need to learn that simply because hair is longer doesn't mean it's a free for all. You don't go up to a woman with amazing breasts and grope them to appreciate them!! :P

[Juneii]

oh geebus, thank goodness people consider breast-groping taboo that would be horrifying. what would they say? "how long have you been growing those?"
braiding hair sounds good though. so annoying when they run their hands through your hair.

[kissedbyfyre]

Keeping it up REALLY helps. The main reason I started keeping it up 95% of the time is due to the unwanted attention. Although when I do take it down now around those that don't see my hair down often, it does cause one hell of a response. I've noticed I only take my hair down when I'm 100% comfy in a situation. Otherwise, it's up. If it's braided, I keep the braid/s over my shoulders where I can see it.

[Juneii]

by the way kissedbyfyre, I adore your hair color

[Juneii]

I can see why everyone here generally keeps their hair up now. I was wondering about that earlier :)

[kissedbyfyre]

by the way kissedbyfyre, I adore your hair color

Thanks!! :)

[kissedbyfyre]

I can see why everyone here generally keeps their hair up now. I was wondering about that earlier :)

You'll find the longer it gets, the easier it is to keep up. It does tend to get into a lot of things and things like sitting on it, having others sit on it, attempting to work with it down, having seat belts or car windows eat it, just doesn't make much sense. It also keeps it healthier by protecting the ends. :)

[Juneii]

You'll find the longer it gets, the easier it is to keep up. It does tend to get into a lot of things and things like sitting on it, having others sit on it, attempting to work with it down, having seat belts or car windows eat it, just doesn't make much sense. It also keeps it healthier by protecting the ends. :)
it was one of the reasons why I cut my hair a few years ago. it kept getting caught on my backpack and I have to continuously drag my hair out. :mad:

[Gumball]

I've had people do it, but fortunately for the most part it's been people I know so it's not utterly bad and usually pretty nice. If it's the rare occasion someone I don't know just walks up and starts to try to play with my hair (usually it was at work or something) then depending on the person I'd just kindly ask them to stop. I'd drop the formalities if they didn't get the hint that first time. It's like getting in trouble. You get a warning the first time! Please listen or face the "Off the hair NOW!" wrath! :twisted:

[kissedbyfyre]

it was one of the reasons why I cut my hair a few years ago. it kept getting caught on my backpack and I have to continuously drag my hair out. :mad:

I HATE that. I've learned to sweep my hair over the backpack/purse free shoulder before I sling the thing over my shoulder, or I just put it up. Every once and awhile I'll miss a few strands and end up looking like a complete fool with my head trapped to one side while I try to free the caught hair.

[Juneii]

I've had people do it, but fortunately for the most part it's been people I know so it's not utterly bad and usually pretty nice. If it's the rare occasion someone I don't know just walks up and starts to try to play with my hair (usually it was at work or something) then depending on the person I'd just kindly ask them to stop. I'd drop the formalities if they didn't get the hint that first time. It's like getting in trouble. You get a warning the first time! Please listen or face the "Off the hair NOW!" wrath! :twisted:

eek! scary >__<

[Juneii]

I HATE that. I've learned to sweep my hair over the backpack/purse free shoulder before I sling the thing over my shoulder, or I just put it up. Every once and awhile I'll miss a few strands and end up looking like a complete fool with my head trapped to one side while I try to free the caught hair.
that is so awkward. my friends would give me this weird look and go "what are you doing?!"

[intothemist1999]

My hair is getting long enough now that if I have it loose I guess I'm feeling unconsciously wary of trouble because I tend to pull it over one shoulder in front of me.

ETA: I never realized till I joined that we long hairs are a potential target! Over the year I've told hubby about some of the stories I've read here and he's outraged. He just can't believe people are like that!!

[Juneii]

My hair is getting long enough now that if I have it loose I guess I'm feeling unconsciously wary of trouble because I tend to pull it over one shoulder in front of me.

ETA: I never realized till I joined that we long hairs are a potential target! Over the year I've told hubby about some of the stories I've read here and he's outraged. He just can't believe people are like that!!

I never thought of that either! not to mention easy targets. anyone can just grab us by our hair hand have us at their mercy :bigeyes:

[ChatoyantLocks]

I was once in an elevator, and a creepy man behind me tugged on my braid! I turned around and looked at him, then turned forward, and he did it again! I had no idea how to respond!

I find that when I am in public, particularly by myself, I tend to hide my hair as much as possible. I'm no longer comfortable walking by myself with my hair out and loose - it just gets more attention than I feel like I know how to deal with, particularly since I'm an introvert who is sometimes nervous around new people, and I just don't know sometimes how to deal with someone who is behaving inappropriately or aggressively.

I don't usually mind if people I know well, and am comfortable around, touch my hair. I rather like it. I now know I don't like having my braid tugged, though.

[Juneii]

I was once in an elevator, and a creepy man behind me tugged on my braid! I turned around and looked at him, then turned forward, and he did it again! I had no idea how to respond!

I find that when I am in public, particularly by myself, I tend to hide my hair as much as possible. I'm no longer comfortable walking by myself with my hair out and loose - it just gets more attention than I feel like I know how to deal with, particularly since I'm an introvert who is sometimes nervous around new people, and I just don't know sometimes how to deal with someone who is behaving inappropriately or aggressively.

I don't usually mind if people I know well, and am comfortable around, touch my hair. I rather like it. I now know I don't like having my braid tugged, though.

I totally agree with you. unless I know the person really well [i.e. close family member, friends] I feel really uncomfortable when they touch my hair. I don't know what to do about it either. despite the fact that they're obviously making me uncomfortable I'm afraid of offending them by asking them to stop.

[Gumball]

eek! scary >__<

Haha of course! Nothing beats a nice and stern "Please don't." or if they persist with asking just a flat "No." Too bad I can't concentrate hard enough to form a nice force bubble around me in those circumstances.

[nucleardelusion]

When I was younger it was the worst. During 7th and 8th grade standing in line meant someone I didn't know the name of would pet or play with my hair. I mean, I loved my friends playing with it... but not a stranger!It didn't end there! Even when I had short and spikey hair, people needed to feel how "sharp" the points were. Ugh. Very strange feeling.

[Darkhorse1]

I don't mind it if it's people I know--I made a similar thread like this awhile back--usually people at the barn who've never seen my hair loose, and if I've run late and arrive before braiding my hair, they comment on it. One of the moms offered to braid it for me--she was very sweet/motherly and another teacher (who had long hair of her own) commented on my hair and dove her hands into it. Since I knew these people, I didn't mind. Or kids, because they are so innocent/pure about it. Other than that, I've not had anyone touch, but comment on it--especially in school.

[BlackfootHair]

I would just say, "Excuse me, you are popping my personal bubble. Please refrain."

Hearing all you talk about slinging braids over your shoulders makes me think about how someday I'll be able to do that... :)

When I was in elementary school my best friend always played with my hair during current events or story time. Her grandma made her keep her hair short. My hair was always down my back...till I grew up. :) haha...

[intothemist1999]

Haha of course! Nothing beats a nice and stern "Please don't." or if they persist with asking just a flat "No." Too bad I can't concentrate hard enough to form a nice force bubble around me in those circumstances.

Pre-paration ;) ...that helps!

If one was brave enough and it was safe enough, maybe tug that person's hair??

Or a very loud, "why are touching me like that???! Who are you??" Especially if there are bystanders.


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[spidermom]

Nope - I guess my hair just doesn't wow people.

Or I'm unapproachable.

It's probably the latter. My DH's former boss told him "I'm afraid of your wife." (so you should be!)

[Islandgrrl]

It's probably the latter. My DH's former boss told him "I'm afraid of your wife." (so you should be!)

Afraid of you???? But you're so........not scary!

When my hair was ultra long I used to get people touching it or pulling on my braid. My solution, like most others, is to wear it up all the time. Else I'd be tempted to grab back :evil:

[Sam-I-Am]

I just had this happen today. It's rare for me. I usually wear my hair either braided and down or in a pinless braided bun for work. Today it's braided and down. I went in the kitchen for something hot to drink and a coworker whom I barely know tugged on my braid, and then said, "I always want do to that." I wasn't really sure how to respond. I said, "Well, I guess you just did!" and then changed the subject. Odd.

[Nightshade]

My favorite was when a woman walked by and tugged on my braid, and I turned around and looked at her and she put her hands by her face and gushed, "Ohmygod, I am SO SORRY I didn't even mean to do that, I just sort of did." It was so sincere and she was so embarrassed that I couldn't help but laugh.

Now the jackass that picked up my braid flicked it a few times and then made the clucking noise you make when you want to get a horse moving... well, he'd better hope I don't meet him in a dark alley somewhere.

I agree with KBF, the attention is nice in a safe place or among friends who don't see it down often ( I have one friend who if I come over with it up asks me to take it down so she can see how long it's gotten), that's cool.

Random Creepy Hair Person on the street? :scared: No thanks.

[wintersun99]

..............

[Solange]

It's usually people I know who touch my hair and only very occasionally strangers. Honestly, it doesn't bother me as much as some people here, though if someone had dirty hands or was rough with my hair, then I would find it objectionable. The only really bad experience I've had was a homeless man with filthy hands and long brown fingernails handling my braid without asking. I was talking to him, being friendly, but would have expected him to realize that I wouldn't want my hair in his hands.

[intothemist1999]

Afraid of you???? But you're so........not scary!



That's what I was thinking, too, when I read that!! :)


.

[yogachic]

No I haven't yet, ask me again when I'm waist length. :-)

[intothemist1999]

Oh, gosh,you know, I might be GUILTY! I can't remember - I recently met someone I've known online from another board and the first day I met her I noticed her long hair which was TB length, and in a long braid. She had it in a bun one day, and loose the next and when she came to our table to chat I said, "oh, I just LOVE your long hair!" and I honestly can't remember if I reached out and touched the ends!! Yikes! We're both quite laid back and got along really well and she immediately started talking about her hair, so I don't think it was a bad moment...(?)

Man, that's bad, if I did it without realizing....


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[SHELIAANN1969]

oh geebus, thank goodness people consider breast-groping taboo that would be horrifying. what would they say? "how long have you been growing those?"
braiding hair sounds good though. so annoying when they run their hands through your hair.



OMG, that is hilarious, but so true!! I have only had friends affectionately tug my hair and call me Red, other than that, no groping, hair or otherwise!!:D

[LadyGunn]

The kids (9-17 yr-olds) I work with occasionally like to mess with my hair. I usually don't have a problem with it as long as they ask first. In high school, the church youth group's favourite pasttime seemed to be playing with my waist-length hair. My cousin's 7-yr old daughter was combing it & then flipping it up yesterday at lunch. She said "I want you to cut off your hair." :bigeyes: When I asked why she said she wanted it for herself (she's growing hers out for the first time - it's almost shoulder length).

Never really had a problem with strangers messing with it but it's only BSL right now & I keep it up most all the time when I'm out & about. I would tend to take it as a compliment if someone just started playing with it.

[jojo]

oh geebus, thank goodness people consider breast-groping taboo that would be horrifying. what would they say? "how long have you been growing those?"
braiding hair sounds good though. so annoying when they run their hands through your hair.
LMAO that was hilarious! just imagine!

[Opal25]

So far I haven't had a lot of strangers walk up and start playing with my hair--thank goodness! But I do get a lot of "Is that really your hair?" & then some will ask if they could touch it & for the most part I don't mind....

I did however, have a temp at my job (who I barely knew at the time) come up to me and strike up a conversation, then tug my hair mid conversation & continues talking like nothing happened...guess she wanted to find out if it was real. :shrug: :rolleyes: ...didn't know what to say, but what I really wanted to do was :smack: because she tug on it kinda hard.

Next time I'll tug back ;)