Curlies how do you deal with your hair appearing much shorter than it is?

[Tangles]

Title says it all!

I am APL when my hair is wet. However... I'm a weird hair type, it says 2a/2b but I have big fluffy stretched out curls sometimes, too. More often than not, in fact, my hair flips so much at the bottom that it looks inches shorter than it is.

I guess my question is, those 2B and up, how do you psychologically deal with your hair looking shoulder length and being more like APL or (in the case of 3's) midback length? It seems unfair, somehow, that it's so hard for us to see our progress! :rolleyes: The really weird thing is that when my hair is longer it's straighter (more like braid waves), but I have to grow a lot to get to that point, haha.

[Just_Isabel]

Eh... I'm not sure how to answer this... it's a fact a curly hair, you can't have curls and not lose at least some of the length. The alternative would be to straighten frequently, but that's unhealthy (and too much work for my lazy self :p), so not a good option.

So I guess my answer is: it's just the way it is, so it must be accepted.



ETA: Maybe it would be more helpful to say that I've "gotten used to" (or in a way "trained myself") not to think that "if only my hair was straight it would be much longer!". It is true, but it isn't helpful.

Does that make sense?

EATA: Oh, I think that in my case it also helps that if I had the choice, I'd go with the shorter looking but more voluminous curly hair than with the longer looking straight hair, so if I'm feeling down about the slower perceived growth, I remind myself that the same curls that "steal" length also make my hair look fuller and thicker. This helps me because I worry more about the thickness of my hair than its length.

[Just_Isabel]

I just thought of something. This may sound like a small consolation, but I think it can be fun to do: if you wear your hair curly most of the time, it can be very amusing to see everyone's reaction when you do straighten it after a while. :D

[Curlsgirl]

I just thought of something. This may sound like a small consolation, but I think it can be fun to do: if you wear your hair curly most of the time, it can be very amusing to see everyone's reaction when you do straighten it after a while. :D

Yeah I like to do this very occasionally too. It also helps you enjoy the length until you wash it again to remind you that you HAVE made progress!

To the OP, it is very hard for sometimes. I have been BSL curly for AGES on the way to waist. I am about one inch away from waist stretched and 3 or 4 when curly. Sigh.

[RoseHannah]

I always thought of it as "looking shorter than it is." A convenience for me, since I cut my own hair, that I didn't have to get every hair the same length the way the poor straight-haired people do!

[Just_Isabel]

To the OP, it is very hard for sometimes. I have been BSL curly for AGES on the way to waist. I am about one inch away from waist stretched and 3 or 4 when curly. Sigh.

That's so true. Before I cut my hair I felt like I'd been at BSL for years! :mad: It can be frustrating.

[beyondcute]

OY VEY!! I'm not dealing.... LOL

[Madam Librarian]

It is what it is. :shrug: I tend to stop questioning the stuff I can't change. My reaction has been to focus on the health of my hair, and finding ways to wear it that make me happy. I've got to be happy with it whether it is short or long, and the happy part I can control. I can't do a thing about how much it grows (or appears to grow).

I also like to wear it straight every now and then. It's cool to be able to see the progress that has been hidden.

[30isthenewblack]

It can be very frustrating. My hair when I stretch the longest layer is 1.5" past my bra strap but it can jump to my shoulders. I look at people's hair on this board and think wow! it's so long & then I look at their stats & realise my hair is as long as theirs hehe. Oh well, I feel blessed to have curly hair & wouldn't have it any other way. I just need to be patient. On the positive side, curly hair hides a lot of flaws & if it's damaged, it's harder to see when curly which helps in the growing out process.

[rhodochrosite]

When my hair is wet, it looks a lot longer, so I tend to look in the mirror at it more then! :P

[nappywomyn]

It is what it is. :shrug: I tend to stop questioning the stuff I can't change. My reaction has been to focus on the health of my hair, and finding ways to wear it that make me happy. I've got to be happy with it whether it is short or long, and the happy part I can control. I can't do a thing about how much it grows (or appears to grow).

I also like to wear it straight every now and then. It's cool to be able to see the progress that has been hidden.

Exactly. I can't say that it totally doesn't bother me, and there are definitely times that I wished I could see my progress easier....but I have curly hair!! And that - that is a wonderful thing! *lol* And part & parcel of having curly hair is that a strand of it just won't look as long as a straight one. I've come to acceptance with the fact that my hair will appear to grow much slower, and will most likely always look shorter than straight haired folks - despite neither fact being totally true.

It's not worth the health of my hair to try to force it to be other than what it is, though, and so I console myself by randomly boinging my hair, and making peoples eyes 'pop' when I actually stretch my hair out until it's full length and loving the fact that I have full, thick, lucious, curly hair!!

[Gumball]

I see it as a fun hair-ninja like thing. Just imagine. When you see actual length progress while your hair is curly then when it's pulled straight the progress is even greater. It's also fun to know my hair looks like it's one length, but when someone asks I get to give the "when it's pulled straight it's this length" answer. It is what it is after all, so I'm happy to view it that way. Multifaceted fun!

[DotDotDot]

It doesn't bother me at all! I love my curls. I think I would rather have curly hair that looks shorter than it is than have straight hair that looks its length. The other side of it is that other people know that it shrinks when it's dry, so it leaves them wondering, "How long is that person's hair?" Not sure why, but I kind of like that. :p

[EmpressRi]

Straight my hair is waist length but in it's natural state, it skims my shoulders. I just accept it lol. I'd rather have shorter looking healthy hair than damaged longer looking hair, if that makes sense.

I just deal with it!

[30isthenewblack]

Straight my hair is waist length but in it's natural state, it skims my shoulders. I just accept it lol. I'd rather have shorter looking healthy hair than damaged longer looking hair, if that makes sense.

I just deal with it!

Woah! I just had a look at your profile pic. Your hair is so long :D Your hair bounces up even more than mine. My hair is a few inches off waist but it is starting to hover around the BSL curly mark. It's hard to work out what I want my overall goal to be. I would be happy if my hair was waist curly. I put down 31" but it really depends on how much the curl springs up. Thank God for a short torso! My hair looks almost the same length as Curlsgirl & mine is only 26.5"

[flapjack]

Straight hair shrinks up, too, sometimes. My hair is fully tailbone length when wet and staring straight ahead. It is still lower hip length when dry so that's 2-3 inches shorter.

So don't worry, it happens to many more people than you think. My hair can get in my tush now when wet, but I'm only just about to tuck it into my pants when dry. It happens.

[RoseRedDead]

I just don't think about it. I judge my length by wherever my hair reaches on my body when it dries. Of course, when it's wet, it's going to be 1-2 inches longer, but I just don't care.

If you get all anal about this, it WILL make you unhappy.

[Naluin]

I sigh about it and then ask myself if I really want to go through the bother of straightening my hair just so that it looks long.

The answer is usually "eww... no." Sometimes the answer is "....er, maybe?" It is never actually plain "yes", so I just let it be. It will look long eventually, if I keep it healthy enough for long enough.

[RedElephant]

I also hate that my curls don't show my hair's length. But I love it when I pull on my curls and see the length of my hair double. I think I have somewhere between 25-50% shrinkage. I have to live with it. A definite plus is showing someone your length by stretching the curl, love the look on their face. This makes me appreciate my hair even more.

[sexyjacksparrow]

I just thought of something. This may sound like a small consolation, but I think it can be fun to do: if you wear your hair curly most of the time, it can be very amusing to see everyone's reaction when you do straighten it after a while. :D


Yes, I agree. I very occasionally straighten my hair and people say they didn't realise how long it is (not that I seem to gain that much length from straightening but still).

The advantage of the hair shortening of curls - for me - is that it is also hair thickening! I forget how fine my hair actually is until I straighten it (or until I put it in a bun which is alway TINY)!

Kerry xx

[Starr]

At times it can be frustrating to think about, but since my hair is almost always up those times are luckily few and far between. I learned a long time ago to just accept that my hair will never "look" as long as it actually is- that being said, I know the truth, so it's kind of like a fun little secret of mine.

[DecafJane]

I pull my hair up and just pretend that it looks longer than it does when it is out. ;)

[darkwaves]

I can't say this has ever bothered me -- especially now, when I have so much more hair than anyone else I know IRL. (I could likely chop off four inches without anyone I work, play or live with noticing!)

Maybe I don't notice it because my curl drops out after a day or two. Overall, it then looks more 2b than 3a -- and the true length is more visible. (I don't have much shrinkage in that phase -- a couple of inches only, if that.)

[Gladtobemom]

Mostly, I whine about it, nothing much else I can do.

I do only measure my hair when it's damp. Too depressing otherwise.

[Buddaphlyy]

I don't deal with it, I just let my hair be. When I think of hair goals, I always make them with my hair "stretched" (SL stretched, APL stretched, etc.) My hair shrinks so much that I think it will always look the same, regardless of how long it actually is.

I do like stretching it out in front of doubters though. The look on their faces is priceless.