Retorts to negative comments

[kate46]

Following a thread started by Jojo where she received a negative comment about her beautiful hair :( I thought it might be fun to re start the thread we had on the old board where we post fun retorts to negative comments.

In know way should the retorts be nasty that would bring us down to the same sad level as those making the negative comment in the first place. Even if we never use these retorts (most of us don't) reading them is fun and can make us feel better when we make light of these comments that most of us get from time to time.

Ok so i'll start with our most famous :- I'm not here to decorate your world :D

[butterflykisses]

A good old "Thanks!" or "Thanks, same to you!" with a smile will usualy confuse the jeebers out of people =)

[Kuchen]

Just stare at something slightly to the right of their face until they look round to see what it is, then walk off? I'm feeling confusing rather than combative today.

[hippiechick1976]

I had a lady a few weeks back that looked to be slightly younger or same age as me make a comment that long hair was only for younger people( hello I am 31 and age doesn't matter with hair but anyway). I looked at her and said well it's a heck of alot cheaper than those creams and treatments everyone else uses and walked off. She was expensively dressed etc so I know it hit home:)

[kate46]

Just stare at something slightly to the right of their face until they look round to see what it is, then walk off? I'm feeling confusing rather than combative today.

See that has me giggling straight off :rollin:

[ruby_tuesday]

"But _I_ think it looks good on _ME_" or "_I_ like it" makes ppl realize that negative comments dont work on me, whether we're talking about hair, clothes or anything else. Maybe it sounds rude, but I noticed that I'm treated with more respect when I show more spine.

[Periwinkle]

'Why thank you!'

[kate46]

'Why thank you!'

Periwinkle that's the exact retort I suggested to Jojo but I also added that she should say it with a huge :D on her face!

[Silver & Gold]

"I'll take that under consideration." *move along in the conversation as if nothing important was said*
"Yes, I thought about that but it doesn't matter to me." *move along in the conversation as if nothing important was said*
"I LOVE unsolicited advice about my personal grooming habits." *followed by a hard stare*
"Can you elaborate on that for me? What exactly are you saying to me?" *stare inquisitively, blink, blink*
"What a strange opinion to have."
"You always say the weirdest things."
"Is that a boogie hanging from your nose?"
Or the best of all, just continue to look at the person speaking with a slight, indiscernible smile on your lips and wait. Wait. Wait. Watch them stammer while they try to explain. And if they ask why you're not saying anything simply say, "I have nothing to say to that."

[noelgirl]

In response to "it makes you look like a hippie/witch/etc." - "Well, that's exactly what I was going for, so thank you!"
Or turning it back around on them with "did I ask you?"

[Silver & Gold]

Just stare at something slightly to the right of their face until they look round to see what it is, then walk off? I'm feeling confusing rather than combative today.

Ooooooh, I like this one. I may have to borrow it someday. The problem is, people are seldom rude enough to me for me to employ such a tactic.

[kate46]

"Is that a boogie hanging from your nose?"


:rollin:Gonna have to dig out the incontinence pads now! :applause

[Les]

If this happened to me I'd be tempted to respond with

"My, what a lovely opinion you have..."

[Nat242]

If you wanted to be incredibly childish about it you could simply say, "So's your face"; for example, "Your hair is too long"..."So's your face". "You'd look better with short hair"..."So's your face".

Childish, confusing, rude, makes no sense, but it's not easy to respond to ;)

[butterflykisses]

Or, go for a "your mom" comment

"Your hair makes you looks like a witch!"
"Your mom looks like a witch!"


(Definately just kidding ;o)

[kate46]

I loved this one from the old boards, I don't remember who posted it and I hope they don't mind me quoting them.

I would never actually use this as I think it is a little over the top but :cool: :-

Comment - You should cut your hair.
Reply - I thought about cutting my hair but then I got afraid that it would look like yours ;)

[Nat242]

Or, go for a "your mom" comment

"Your hair makes you looks like a witch!"
"Your mom looks like a witch!"


(Definately just kidding ;o)

Or, to be excessively obscure and confusing:

"Your hair makes you look like a witch!"
"Your mum goes to college!" :D

Okay. I'll stop being silly and unhelpful now and go to bed.

[Elleyena]

Another childish one would be to say "That's what she said" :rolleyes: (kidding!)

My favorite retort is to just smile, shrug my shoulders and come up with a different topic of conversation. Sometimes it's fun to watch people squirm after doing that. :D

[biggeorge]

I would never actually use this as I think it is a little over the top but :cool: :-

Comment - You should cut your hair.
Reply - I thought about cutting my hair but then I got afraid that it would look like yours ;)

I guess that I am over the top :eyebrows: . I have used this same comment almost word for word more than once. With great results.

[lora410]

ok, and I care because......... and walk away

[Periwinkle]

For when people say 'It's so long!' in a kind of that's-not-good way, I tend to reply 'Is it really? I never noticed!'.

[Tangles]

For when people say 'It's so long!' in a kind of that's-not-good way, I tend to reply 'Is it really? I never noticed!'.

Oh this is my pet peeve. Back when I had stringy, not TOO well kept for waist length hair, my aunt, who is one of those polished professional types with styled, colored shoulder length hair (looks very nice, just v different from what I had) said, "Oh, your hair is REALLY long." I think one is generally aware of one's hair length. True, my hair wasn't looking its best at that time, but that comment made me feel a bit weird. I would have preferred her to say, "Maybe it's time for a trim, but I do like your hair long." :rolleyes:

[vampodrama]

when people are rude to me, I am definitely gonna be rude to them, no questions asked.

I have gotten negative comments about my appearance. puzzles the hell out of me, tbh.... because really, why do they even care? but since I'll probably never gonna understand that, whatever...

my usual response is to gasp, acting all shocked, widen my eyes comically and say "wow, what makes you think I give a **** what you think???" and walk away.

[Kuchen]

For when people say 'It's so long!' in a kind of that's-not-good way, I tend to reply 'Is it really? I never noticed!'.

Or just, "What?" look at hair, "ARGHHHHHH! I hate long hair! Ew! Ew! Get it off me!"

A bit like this sketch (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGMlZcXAAtc).

[vampodrama]

Or just, "What?" look at hair, "ARGHHHHHH! I hate long hair! Ew! Ew! Get it off me!"

A bit like this sketch (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGMlZcXAAtc).

:D this is priceless :D

I love Smack The Pony. :D

[Unofficial_Rose]

If this happened to me I'd be tempted to respond with

"My, what a lovely opinion you have..."

Oh now, that is cool! ;)

[RavennaNight]

I'd say:

"Wow you actually have time to think and care about my look? I wish I had thatkinda time on my hands! Do you work?"

[Siava]

I'd say:

"Wow you actually have time to think and care about my look? I wish I had thatkinda time on my hands! Do you work?"
:lol: Love it.

[Darkhorse1]

"you should cut your hair'
me: "Why?"
"Because you always wear it back"
Look at person who has shoulder length hair in ponytail. "Um, so are you"
No comment

In fact, I have quite a few people telling me NOT to cut my hair and just 1 or 2 people saying it'd look good shorter. I think what irked me more was people saying I should donate it to locks of love. Why? I can't, but why should I? If I decide to cut my hair, I'll then decide what I want to do with it. Sheesh! :) (now I find out you can't donate hair to locks of love if its been colored, sun damaged, gray, etc.)

[Amara]

If you wanted to be incredibly childish about it you could simply say, "So's your face"; for example, "Your hair is too long"..."So's your face". "You'd look better with short hair"..."So's your face".

Childish, confusing, rude, makes no sense, but it's not easy to respond to ;)

LOL!! I love this because it turns the ridiculousness of insulting someone back on the original insulter. If you won't even dignify their rude comment with a serious one, it shows them how stupid what THEY said was in the first place.

"Your hair is out of control! All frizzy!" "So's your face." HAH!

[Wanderer09]

I've used "No one said you had to like it" before, with good results.

[LeaM07]

I rarely get anything worse than "your hair is long", probably because I wear it up and I don't get out much. :lol: But just for fun...

Your hair is so... long!
- (Nodding, smiling) Yes... yes it is.

Long hair is out... you should try something more fashionable, like a bob.
- Oh well, when it comes back "in" I'll be ready, I guess. I have an uncle Bob, does that count? He doesn't have much hair, though.

Ew, yuck! You gotta cut off that mess... that is way too much hair for one person!
- (Raising eyebrows with a slight smile, look of confusion, and slight condescencion) Really? Oookaay...
- Well, you know what they say about opinions... (wink)

Aren't you getting a little old for hair that long (I'm 31)?
- (Deadpan) Yeah, you know me. Always the nonconformist.
- (In a mock old-lady voice) You got a problem with my hair, sonny? Didn't your mama teach you to respect your elders?
- (Leaning in, as if to hear better) Eh? What's that? I'm not too old to wear a thong!

[ColoradoDreamer]

Or, go for a "your mom" comment

"Your hair makes you looks like a witch!"
"Your mom looks like a witch!"


(Definately just kidding ;o)

I'd be tempted, if told my long hair makes me look like a witch, to cackle madly.

[LaurelSpring]

Would it be inappropriate to be really happy that someone actually noticed that it was long? That hasnt happened yet...maybe someday...:rolleyes:

[minkstole]

I´m always surprised at these threads; I never seem to encounter rude people like this. Maybe people dare not speak to me like that - maybe I look too mean?! (so you all know, I can kick your ass!)
Either way, I would probably not say anything, because 1) I would be too shocked and 2) because if you let rudeness like that stand all alone, it will really make the person who said it look really REALLY bad.

[MeMyselfandI]

Or just, "What?" look at hair, "ARGHHHHHH! I hate long hair! Ew! Ew! Get it off me!"

A bit like this sketch (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGMlZcXAAtc).

ROTFLOL,

WOW, Thanks for the big laugh.


I think for me, a simple "Thank you", is just to simple and lets them off the hook. I waiver on responses, depends on my moods and who it is. Some rude people are just not worth my time. Life is to short. Depends if I want to barb them or not.

"That is just your insignificant opinon of what does not concern you. But thanks for sharing anyway."

"Did you say something" while pretending I may have heard something.

"Whatever"

"I am happy with it."

[mellie]

Or the best of all, just continue to look at the person speaking with a slight, indiscernible smile on your lips and wait. Wait. Wait.

This is great advice in any kind of combative situation (I do a lot of customer service). Silence is the last thing people want to hear!

[Solange]

Person: "You would look better/younger with shorter hair."
You: "I believe you would look better/younger with longer hair, but to each his or her own."

Response to various negative comment about your hair: "What a surprising thing for a normally polite person such as yourself to say." accompanied by a confused look.

Person: "You should do something brave and bold and just cut off that hair!"
You: "My definition of "brave and bold" differs from yours in that mine doesn't include conforming to what others think I should do with my hair rather than wearing it the way *I* like it regardless of anyone else's opinion."

[crispycritters]

Everyone is used to me having short hair, so having longer hair im having compliments. But this is good advice because I always think of comebacks like an hour later. I know my mom has people saying stuff about her hair and she's like 58 and her hair is just above her shoulders- people her age are saying get that hair cut! I think thats rude and why do they even notice? The others must be stuck in the hole short hair thing when you reach an age..what is that? who made that rule?
I like all these comebacks...another is your just say your jealous......well...maybe i'd say your just jealous and flick your hair around like your a sexy model give a little twirl and give a smack on your rear. But that just me I try to joke when people are negative to me. I find if I say something negative to them about their appearance, they cant handle it and get too worked up over it. I like to beable to joke in any situation.

[Lady Verity]

I can't wait for the day someone tells me I look like a witch. I'm just itching to shout "AWESOME!!!"

Incidentally, I was called 'the devil' once, and I just threw back my head and laughed. ;)

[ailin]

- Your hair is so long!
- Okay. *continue on your merry way*

- You should cut your hair!
- I don't remember asking for your opinion.

- Your hair looks bad, you should cut it!
- Your face looks bad, ever considered Botox?

;)

[biggeorge]

One other response that I've come up with but not yet had the opportunity to use:

"The unsolicited stupid opinion booth is on the other side of the mall/street/building/whatever is appropriate"

[happymommy]

Try one of my co-workers favorites: "You shut your mouth when you're talkin' to me!"

Makes me giggle every time ;)

[happymommy]

Or "And I should conform to YOUR particular view of feminine/male beauty because...?"

Then again, I often berate people who tell me to smile. Like it's my job to paste a fake emotion on my face to make THEIR day brighter. Hmmmmph. We don't walk around telling people to cry!

/rant + threadjack

[biggeorge]

Then again, I often berate people who tell me to smile. . .

Someone once told me to smile because things could always be much worse. So I smiled, and sure enough, they got much worse!

hijack over

[crispycritters]

I hate it when people tell me to smile...so i say what am I a frickin' doll? It Shuts them up...finally they dont say it again to me the next day.

[CountessDeJager]

Response to various negative comment about your hair: "What a surprising thing for a normally polite person such as yourself to say." accompanied by a confused look.

Oh that is beautiful, Solange. My mom has used "Did you mean to say that out loud?" to remind people that they are not being polite but yours gets that point across much clearer and with those sort of people you need it as easy to understand as possible. I think most of them really feel they are offering helpful advice to rescue people from themselves. :rolleyes:

My father uses the phrase "Now there's a data point" (even successfully on me I might add like when I playfully gripe about his rodeo clown looking plaid shirt). All that says is that you are aware they said something but with no attempt to agree or disagree. There's no need to justify yourself to anybody giving unsolicited opinions, especially ones without your true interests at heart.

It is funny though, comments about me don't trouble me but if somebody said something about Bill's hair they'd hear from me about it. I feel the same way about you Solange. You tell me if there is anybody I have to track down and give a stern lecture to, okay? :smirk:

[Dulci]

..."What a surprising thing for a normally polite person such as yourself to say." accompanied by a confused look.


... My mom has used "Did you mean to say that out loud?" to remind people that they are not being polite ...

Heh, I LOVE both of these. :thumbsup:

[UncommonTart]

I've had much success in replying to the ruder unsolicited hair comments/advice with a small smile, a confused look, and "What an odd thing to say..."

When I get those strange 'you have long hair' ones, I just smile and say "Oh yes, I'm growing it out." It's true, it's polite, it's non-confrontational, and it tends to close the subject rather abruptly, since no one seems to know how to reply to it.

[tigerlily83]

I've only received only a couple of negative comments about my hair....once it was up in a bun, airdrying in a octopus-style claw clip, and an ex-manager of mine says to me "it's not looking as good as it used to when it's up like that," so I said something back like, "well I hardly noticed, I think it looks fine, even with me just getting off of work."

Another one was when I dyed my hair black. One person commented to me that it made me look goth. I just told them something like, "I really don't care what you think but thank you, I like having long black hair."

[tigerlily83]

- Your hair looks bad, you should cut it!
- Your face looks bad, ever considered Botox?

;)

Priceless! :D

[Shanarana]

"your hair is way to long"

"yeah, well your mouth is way to big"

[Shanarana]

"your hair is to long, ever think of getting it cut"

"and have it look like yours.....not"

[Kiraela]

'your hair is too long, you should cut it!'

*peers at them closely for a second*

"Oh, sorry. your stupid is showing."

[BrianaFineHair]

I'd be honest and say, "That's a very rude thing to say. You should be ashamed." Then walk away.

[Xi]

"Your hair makes you look like a witch!"

[Reflective pause]

"No -- I think it's my nose. Perhaps I should cut it off?"

[butterflykisses]

"Your hair makes you look like a witch!"

[Reflective pause]

"No -- I think it's my nose. Perhaps I should cut it off?"



Haha I like that one.

[Solange]

Elizabeth: [QUOTE= I feel the same way about you Solange. You tell me if there is anybody I have to track down and give a stern lecture to, okay? :smirk:[/QUOTE]

It's the "Your hair isn't thick like it used to be, eh"? comments that hit home, but they are from people (a lot of them in my extended family) who I know don't mean to be hurtful, so no tracking down and lecturing necessary, I suppose ;O), as they are immediately sorry when they detect that my loss of thickness saddens me. That's what I'll never understand: The same people who would never say to someone that they "don't look so pretty" or that they are "getting fat" think nothing of saying something negative about a person's hair, and don't seem to expect it to be hurtful.

Edit: Ok, I can't seem to quote just part of someone's message, apparently. Hey, I am a newbie!

[WavyGirl]

Edit: Ok, I can't seem to quote just part of someone's message, apparently. Hey, I am a newbie!

hijack: Just make sure you keep everything inside both sets of square brackets intact while you're taking out what you don't need. eg [quote=solange;228623] edit this bit[/ quote] /end of hijack.

[Finoriel]

Hm, I do not get negative comments that often... or I just do not remember them. So far that´s all I can remember:

"Your hair is freakish long!"
*Looks down and grabs braid tassel* :p I know! *pokes her with braid tassel* You know, it did not suddenly materialize on my head over night.

"Long hair is soooo out of fashion."
Umm, do I look like a display dummy? :wink: See!

"In former times you would have been burned as a witch."
*Ksssst* :wink: always funny to see how a small hiss and some gestures can freak people out.

"You should wear friendlier and softer styles"
*rise eyebrow like Mr. Spock* Fascinating. *blink blink* ... And?

[GlassEyes]

I haven't gotten this one, but I'm waiting...D<

"Your hair makes you look like a girl."

"Really?

...

Am I a pretty girl?"

or

"You should cut your ***d*mn hair, it's getting too long."

"Not a problem you've had in many areas, eh?"

or

"You look like a girl!"

-pause-

"Are you hitting on me?" *peer oddly at face*


And on the girls side...

"Cut your hair, it's an eyesore!"

"If we're talking about eyesores, you might want to look in a mirror."

or

"You look like a freak."

"You look like a whore. Oh wait, I guess you do have the better title; at least you get paid."

*walk away*

[KiwiLiz]

Then again, I often berate people who tell me to smile. Like it's my job to paste a fake emotion on my face to make THEIR day brighter. Hmmmmph. We don't walk around telling people to cry!

/rant + threadjack

Ugh. I usually say something like "Do you really think harassing me about not smiling is going to make me smile?".

What really annoying is that same people who tell me to smile more always ask "What are you smiling about" in a suspicious manner if I do happen to be smiling.

[Snowymoon]

I once had my SIL tell me, "I know where you can get breast implants for $XXX."

Me: :disgust: "Yeah, and I know this guy who does face transplants."

;)

Hubby says he wants to have cards made up for facial transplant surgery. He says when someone makes a comment about his hair, he will just hand them a card while smiling politely, :eyebrows: as if he is sharing some grand secret or something. :rollin:

[wolf girl]

Comment (from female) - "You should cut your hair."
Response - "Why? So I can look like a boy too?" :p


Comment - "Your hair is so long"
Response - smiles "Not yet, but I'm working on it. You should join me!"

:D

[young&reckless]

[quote=GlassEyes;228719] "Am I a pretty girl?"quote]


Ha ha! When I play with my boyfriends hair he asks me that.
:trainwreck:

[embee]

"In former times you would have been burned as a witch."
*Ksssst* :wink: always funny to see how a small hiss and some gestures can freak people out.



Ooooh! I *like* that! :)

[embee]

Ugh. I usually say something like "Do you really think harassing me about not smiling is going to make me smile?".

:( The last time someone fussed at me for not smiling I was at the post office and a strange man (older) said I should look happier. My best friend had very recently died and nothing was happy at all right then. It was all I could do not to burst into tears. Between sorrow and rage I was really messed up by his comment, and just stared at him. But I wish I'd smacked him upside his rude nasty face.

[vindo]

Just stare at something slightly to the right of their face until they look round to see what it is, then walk off? I'm feeling confusing rather than combative today.

I gotta try that one :D

I get positive as well as negative comments equally, not much inbetween really. :confused:
My reactions are different depending on the comment and sady sometimes I just don't know what to respond.

[neenerbabe]

"Ite-bay E-may!"

Pig latin rocks.

[Chromis]

I don't get them about my hair, but my favourites are:

"Well aren't *you* cheeky!"
"Oh, I was hoping you'd *never* ask!"

I have been known to simply state that I do not have time to waste my breath on rude people and do an about face and walk off as well, tough I acknowledge it's not the politest of things to do on my side either :twisted:

[eccentricquirks]

"Did you mean to say that out loud?"

I'm *so* going to use that.

I love it when people call me a hippie. They never call me a witch. They never call me anything but a hippie. It's hysterical. I actually laugh.

Them: Get a hair cut.
Me: Can you spell antidisestablishmentarianism? No? Well, that's 0 for 2 on absurd requests.

Them: You're a $*&^%% Hippie!
Me: Thanks. I aim to please.

Them: Doesn't it bug you to have it *that* long?
Me: Does it bug you to be condescending?

[heidi w.]

My interesting weather we're having. Look around pointedly.

In response to those that state, "When are you cutting your hair?"
Just as soon as you cut off your arm, and I'll let you go first!

Are you donating to LoL?
Uh, no. Are you donating your car this year?

I'll take that under consideration.

DING! Thank you for playing, but that wasn't the game I had in mind.

Errr, excuse me but I don't recall asking for your opinion.

Harrumph, well I think that what just fell out of your mouth isn't so attractive either!

OMG, what's this ugly quivering thing on the floor? Take a step back. Your opinion!! Look up shocked and disgusted!

Mwaaah! (really loud and obnoxious like a big buzzer going off). Pencils down, you failed the nice test!

Smile demurely and coquetishly and rise a shoulder up like the sex goddess you are, "Why thank you!" Because underneath every naysayer comment is a veiled compliment that your hair is beautiful!!!

heidi w.

[heidi w.]

Hubby says he wants to have cards made up for facial transplant surgery. He says when someone makes a comment about his hair, he will just hand them a card while smiling politely, :eyebrows: as if he is sharing some grand secret or something. :rollin:


Right, and he can lead into the card, "I have just the thing for you!" Dig in wallet. Yep, Got it! Here ya go!

Then leave.

LUV the fantasy moment!
heidi w.

[thankyousir74]

OMG, what's this ugly quivering thing on the floor? Take a step back. Your opinion!! Look up shocked and disgusted!



BUAHAHAHA :rollin:

Idk, I'm pretty non confrontational, when ever someone says something to try to urge me to do something regarding my personal grooming, I usually just shrug and not listen to them.

[Ninika]

Look puzzled and say:"Hmm, that's weird. I could swear I just saw your mouth move but no sound came out."

"Your polite mode seems to be switched off."




And I really love "Did you mean to say that out loud?" Thanks for that one!

[Morag]

Oh, Kate, this is a great thread! Thanks for all the laughs!

Countess DeJager, I love your mom's "Did you mean to say that out loud?" response! I need to practice using that. (Also need to practice not saying some things out loud.)

One of my friends has a great all-purpose response to this kind of rudeness:
Looking at the person with gentle interest and a slight smile (as if she has suddenly realized they are a different species), she asks, "And your point is?"

[MariaAZ]

In response to "it makes you look like a hippie/witch/etc." -
If I were so fortunate as to have someone say this to me, I'd say "Well, considering I'm a hippie/witch (or better yet, a hippie witch!) I suppose it's appropriate, don't you think?" :)

Actually, I DO look a bit like a hippie witch, and I'm absolutely thrilled :)

[Morag]

If I were so fortunate as to have someone say this to me, I'd say "Well, considering I'm a hippie/witch (or better yet, a hippie witch!) I suppose it's appropriate, don't you think?" :)

Actually, I DO look a bit like a hippie witch, and I'm absolutely thrilled :)


Ah-hahahaha! Hippie witches, unite!

[Calanthe]

This thread is hilarious...thanks for lots of laughter so early in the morning.

I hardly seem to get any comments, positive or negative. I remember a co-worker asking what would happen if he pulled the hairstick out of my bun. What I said was: I'm going to poke you in the eye with it! Of course, that's something I'd never ever do but he didn't know that at the time.

A good thing is the "eyebrow", something my brother can do to perfection. He just lifts one eyebrow in a very supercilious way, and that's it. Kills any conversation instantly.

[darkwaves]

"What an interesting thing to say."

That's how a friend told me a year or so ago her DH suggested she reply to weird comments. (Slowly and reflectively, with the appropriate slightly bemused expression, of course.)

She said that in the silence that would follow, the person might actually reflect on their words... and if not, well, whatever. They can't accuse you of being equally rude.

I've used it. Works for me!

[Chromis]

This thread is hilarious...thanks for lots of laughter so early in the morning.

I hardly seem to get any comments, positive or negative. I remember a co-worker asking what would happen if he pulled the hairstick out of my bun. What I said was: I'm going to poke you in the eye with it! Of course, that's something I'd never ever do but he didn't know that at the time.

A good thing is the "eyebrow", something my brother can do to perfection. He just lifts one eyebrow in a very supercilious way, and that's it. Kills any conversation instantly.

Ah yes, the Spock lift! I'm very fond of that one though I can only do it on one side for some reason! Sometimes I even say "Fascinating."

[Vicky Veiss]

No one in my family is EVER going to try the "too old for long hair" one on me, because they all know that my grandmother's beautiful silver crown braid was one of my inspirations! But that story effectively shuts up anyone who even gets close to the subject of older women and long hair... uh-huh, that's right, my role models are not "fashionable" people, they're people I respect and admire because they did something good with their lives. Which I hope gives vapid commenters something to think about, if only for a moment or two!

[kate46]

This wasn't hair related but I remember once when I was giving my DS earache over something, he sat quietly and just let me carry on, when I finally took a breathe he said " Mum, I'm not as think as you dumb I am". LOL it sure shut me up, I spent the next few hours trying to work that one out. :confused:

[lady G]

well if anyone commented negatively about my hair I think I would respond with any of the following .......

"since when did you become a style guru?"

or maybe

"How about gettting a life and not commenting on other peoples"

or perhaps

"Well your hair is not exactly perfect but I am too polite to comment on that topic"

followed by a cheesy grin and walk away:D

[heidi w.]

I've also received the witch comment. I can do a very real, Wicked Witch of the West laugh, complete with "I"ll get you my Pretty -- and your little dog too!" Just like the Oz movie.

heidi w.

[trixiebelle]

Not that I ever would say it but I would dream of saying:

"I didn't realise we were at the inappropriate sharing stage of our relationship, but since we are...." and then say something negative about a particular part of their appearance.

I actually just tell people I'm growing it as a tribute to my mother's mother, who died, when I was little, just after we moved to england leaving me with no chance to get to know her better. I get a little teary and they feel guilty as hell :p

[LadyLongLocks]

when people are rude to me, I am definitely gonna be rude to them, no questions asked.

I have gotten negative comments about my appearance. puzzles the hell out of me, tbh.... because really, why do they even care? but since I'll probably never gonna understand that, whatever...

my usual response is to gasp, acting all shocked, widen my eyes comically and say "wow, what makes you think I give a **** what you think???" and walk away.

great response! If I'm feeling in the mood I will remember this one!

You could "fake cry" bust out with a big moan...then everyone will look.

Maybe follow them asking who their hairdresser is and insist on the phone# price,address,blah blah blah...( don't get arrested he he)

I cant stand when people say to me " YOUR HAIR IS LONG" you can take that comment both ways...upon their expression and tone you can tell if its good, bad, or just plain shock.
The negative comments are often followed by " are you gonna donate it"...a good response would be YES...I'm donating it to myself, I'm going to have it cut at floor length and have extensions made for when I'm 90 and my hair starts to thin.

[2TortyCats]

I wish people would say stuff like that to my face so I could get a chance to respond. Its always stuff I hear behind my back that they think I don't hear, like a couple of weeks ago when a guy on my floor whispered to himself after I walked by "...getting too looong...". One-a-these days I'm going to whip right around and either glare or wink (depending on my mood) and say "I hear EVERYthing."

[bte]

Some of these retorts are wonderful, but what if you want to keep the person as a friend? Bad as the original remark is, the response might drive an even bigger wedge into a friendship which could be saved.

I think a lot of people fail to realise how important hair is to the kind of person who is in this community, and don't understand how insulting their comments are (there are others, of course who know exactly what they are doing, who don't deserve any consideration).

But the retorts are much more fun!

[Chromis]

Some of these retorts are wonderful, but what if you want to keep the person as a friend? Bad as the original remark is, the response might drive an even bigger wedge into a friendship which could be saved.

I think a lot of people fail to realise how important hair is to the kind of person who is in this community, and don't understand how insulting their comments are (there are others, of course who know exactly what they are doing, who don't deserve any consideration).

But the retorts are much more fun!

If someone is making nasty comments to me, then they are not my friend. If they do not stop when requested, then they obviously have decided that the relationship is not that important to them. I'd rather have fewer, better quality friends. :twocents:

[Kirin]

"Your hair is too red" = "Really? and I haven't even reached my stop sign goal yet".

"You need some style, we should take you to X salon and have a makeover" = "Sure, just as soon as your hair is as long as mine we'll both go and make a day out of it".

"You are a little old for that red, long hair" = "Really? I think you might be off by a few years..... go get your handbook, I'll wait here".

[Nyghtingale]

Are you donating to LoL?
Uh, no. Are you donating your car this year?heidi w.

LOL, i love that. i don't know why, but i get this question alot (just yesterday, in fact). i always say no, but some people will actually ask why. Like i should be guilty for not donating it. i am always at aloss for words and feel i have to defend my reasons for daring to keep my own hair.

[HalcyonDays]

Quote:
Originally Posted by heidi w. http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?p=229416#post229416)
Are you donating to LoL?
Uh, no. Are you donating your car this year?heidi w.

LOL, i love that. i don't know why, but i get this question alot (just yesterday, in fact). i always say no, but some people will actually ask why. Like i should be guilty for not donating it. i am always at aloss for words and feel i have to defend my reasons for daring to keep my own hair.

Yes, and for some reason it's always the people who have never given a penny to charity who ask this.


The perfect phrase for condescendingly dismissing anything -
"Nah, I'm not really into pokemon."

It confuses people, or begins a wonderful new friendship...(for those not nerdy enough to get this see this (http://xkcd.org/178/) and be educated)

[MotherConfessor]

"

"You are a little old for that red, long hair" = "Really? I think you might be off by a few years..... go get your handbook, I'll wait here".


Love that!!!!!! Makes exactly that point, who the devil made up these ridiculous rules that we are all expected to live by. Seriously, I sick of this ambiguous "they" who are apparently gods because the fact that they say something makes it an undeniable law. Age limits are for the weak willed, and they are enforced by women with no self confidence who resent that someone else has the spine to wear something they can only wish they had the body or balls to wear.

[MotherConfessor]

Oh yeah, and for me I like to launch into a detailed explanation of why short hair looks bad ( i love to reference the "football helmet" hair comment in Steel Magnolias). Then I wait for the inevitable "whoa, hey, I have short hair" Then I blink a few times and say "Wait, its ok for you to insult the hair that I spend so much time taking care of, but its not ok for me to insult your hair? Now i'm confused, can you explain how this works to me?" :confused:

Pisses them off, makes them look stupid and shuts them up all in one go. :eyebrows:

[wolf girl]

The really mean wolf girl responds :evil:

"With hair that looks like that and your are giving me suggestions??"

:whip:

[HeavenlyTresses]

I had a friend who was always up on the latest fashion and hairstyles and was always telling me to cut my hair. My response "But then I would look just like everyone else. I am unique, I don't dress in the latest fashions and my house doesn't look like it came from Better Homes and Gardens. Sorry but that's just me, take it or leave it. I really only have to please myself, I mean, I'm the one who has to look in the mirror every day right?."

[BlndeInDisguise]

- (Leaning in, as if to hear better) Eh? What's that? I'm not too old to wear a thong!

http://www.horsegroomingsupplies.com/horse-forums/images/smilies/rofl.gifhttp://www.horsegroomingsupplies.com/horse-forums/images/smilies/rofl.gif

[danacc]

Not exactly a retort... I will usually respond with "Excuse me?", said straight, as if I didn't hear their entire remark. It gives them time to think about whether or not they really want to say it out loud again. It also lets them rephrase it if they really didn't mean it the way it came out the first time. If they choose to repeat an obviously rude comment, I just let silence hang there for a bit, then walk on.

(I love the "Did you mean to say that out loud?" question. Said in different tones of voice, from leaning in and whispering the question, to a shocked retort, it is quite versatile.)

[atlantaz3]

Mwaaah! (really loud and obnoxious like a big buzzer going off). Pencils down, you failed the nice test!



I love that one! Can come in handy for more than mean hair comments.

[susiemw]

Age limits are for the weak willed, and they are enforced by women with no self confidence who resent that someone else has the spine to wear something they can only wish they had the body or balls to wear.

What a great quote!
We should all memorize this so we can quote it at will!

good job.

Susan

[susiemw]

I wish people would say stuff like that to my face so I could get a chance to respond. Its always stuff I hear behind my back that they think I don't hear, like a couple of weeks ago when a guy on my floor whispered to himself after I walked by "...getting too looong...". One-a-these days I'm going to whip right around and either glare or wink (depending on my mood) and say "I hear EVERYthing."

I know there is a joke about penis size/length in herevsomewhere, but I'm just not seeing it.... I"m sure it would shut him up though. Someone more awake will have
to figure it out. LOL

Susan

[Poppy Seed]

From my SO, for the blokes out there who may get/have got the "long hair makes you look like a poufter*" comment from other blokes.

- You ought to know...
- Sorry to disappoint you!
- Yeah, and you love it!

*Or insert other, similar word here...

[Numina]

I had a lady a few weeks back that looked to be slightly younger or same age as me make a comment that long hair was only for younger people( hello I am 31 and age doesn't matter with hair but anyway). I looked at her and said well it's a heck of alot cheaper than those creams and treatments everyone else uses and walked off. She was expensively dressed etc so I know it hit home:)

Oh, I would have smiled wickedly and said, "Are you calling me old?" and then raised my eyebrows at her. Teehee!
But I prefer to use the negative persons words against them.
I would also say something along the lines of, "you say the strangest things," or "I love longhair, and since my opinion is the only one that matters..." In general I like to just stare off in another direction for a moment obviously not responding then look at them and say, Oh I'm sorry. Did you say something? I wasn't paying attention." :wigtongue


Ugh. I usually say something like "Do you really think harassing me about not smiling is going to make me smile?".

What really annoying is that same people who tell me to smile more always ask "What are you smiling about" in a suspicious manner if I do happen to be smiling.

I typically tell people who want me to smile that smiling is just another way of Baring your teeth :D and then show them as many of my teeth as possible, it so not a smile that they rarely ever ask again.




The perfect phrase for condescendingly dismissing anything -
"Nah, I'm not really into pokemon."

It confuses people, or begins a wonderful new friendship...(for those not nerdy enough to get this see this (http://xkcd.org/178/) and be educated)
Oh I even know what a Pokemon is ... Talk about nerdy!

This is a great thread!

[Morag]

On the being-told-to-smile lines ... I have a coworker who pretty consistently said things to me like "Oh, what's WRONG?" or "OMG, you have the most HORRIBLE look on your face! What HAPPENED?". She is an otherwise good lady who apparently feels that comments like this indicate that she cares about me. I experience them as a form of passive aggression.

I finally took her aside and told her, "You seem to have a habit of projecting negative assumptions on me about my emotional state, based on your reaction to my normal facial expression. I am not a big smiler. This is what I look like. It doesn't mean what you seem to think it does."

Not particularly witty, but it did seem to do the trick.

[rubyann]

I've not had my hair negatively commented on by anyone other than my beloved mother. I just reply to her "Well, I like it" and leave it at that.

Now, someday I'm gonna have looooong hair. I particularly like the "No, are you gonna donate your car this year" to someone asking about donation to LoL. Very good and to the point.

[AJoifulNoise]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v311/SycoTrekkie/2008/untitled-2.jpg
Translated into real english: Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

I am working on purrrfecting that stare. I believe the stare itself is a better retort than the words, even though the words are priceless.

[trolleypup]

From my SO, for the blokes out there who may get/have got the "long hair makes you look like a poufter*" comment from other blokes.
Funny, women don't seem to have that problem.

or

And that is a bad thing, how?

On LOL, I just tell them that LOL is a front for human hair extensions buyers.

and sometimes, "Besides the Wigmaster at the Opera has dibs on my hair" (which is true).

[trolleypup]

On the being-told-to-smile lines ...
There is always TMI: "My girlfriend is 500 miles away and I'm not getting any nookie for the next three weeks, thank you for asking."

[systemaurora]

There is always TMI: "My girlfriend is 500 miles away and I'm not getting any nookie for the next three weeks, thank you for asking."

Lol! I usually am smiling, but when people say I complain too much (probably true, I complain and smile at the same time, hehe) I should just start saying:

"Well, I try not to complain, but with my multiple and chronic health problems and frequent seizures and having to use a wheelchair and crutches and my fiancee living 1200 miles away and only seeing him twice a year and my dad just having disowned me and all my other issues being such a huge part of my life I sometimes run out of happy things to talk about. :D So, happier subject! Let's talk about child abuse and factory farming!" =P Maybe that would shut them up...

[Snowymoon]

... I should just start saying:

"Well, I try not to complain, but with my multiple and chronic health problems and frequent seizures and having to use a wheelchair and crutches and my fiancee living 1200 miles away and only seeing him twice a year and my dad just having disowned me and all my other issues being such a huge part of my life I sometimes run out of happy things to talk about. :D So, happier subject! Let's talk about child abuse and factory farming!" =P Maybe that would shut them up...

:rollin:

Nothing like the life story in 2 run-on sentences! Love it!

[Eireann]

In response to comments that long hair isn't in style, I would ask why celebrities spend hundreds of dollars on hair extensions.

[truepeacenik]

on the witch comment
Wow, no one EVER says I look Jewish.

Long hair comments:
well, I just stopped cutting it...wait, I cut it last week (S&D, but they don't know)

LOL comments.
I'm saving for my own wig when I start chemo. (again, they don't know)

[Amara]

"I didn't realise we were at the inappropriate sharing stage of our relationship, but since we are...."

ROFL!

That one is great.

So far I've had no rude comments, just the occasional "wow your hair's long!" (to which I usually just reply with an awkward "yes..." since I'm not sure how to reply to a statement of pure fact...) or "must take a while to wash!" (to which I reply "no...")

But when I do I'm sure to use the above!

[longhairedfairy]

The "too old" comment doesn't even make any sense. How can a person be too old for traditional length/style? The way many, many people have worn it for thousands of years...

[Golden21]

I once heard that anytime anyone gives you an insult you should just say "what?" or "pardon?" innocently, as if you didn't hear them. If they have to repeat an insult they usually feel stupid. I do it whenever I can remember to and it works.

[insideitall]

I don't think I've had any negative ones. I do get a lot of "wow it's long!" ones, which are more shock since I rarely have my hair out of a bun at work. One coworker did ask if I was planning to donate (she had donated twice before), to which I replied "nah, I'm too selfish." and then launched into a tirade about how LoL sells most of their hair to wig companies anyway and that it's better to donate money.

When people ask me why I'm growing it I tell them it's because women should have long hair.

I really love the "Did you mean to say that out loud?" line. And the spock eyebrow, simply for the geekiness factor. Oooh, how about the two together??

I'm cool with people having negative opinions about my appearance, cause chances are, I have at least one negative opinion about THEIR appearance :D I'm just too nice to say anything ::cough, cough::

I haven't looked at my webcomics in awhile.. how about http://www.phdcomics.com/comics.php or http://www.sluggy.com .. haha.. and a good time was had by all.

[Morag]

An oldie, but a goodie ...

http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/8/13/128631336473773505.jpg?t=633548941607359766

[Tapioca]

I've always liked the blank stare. ::blink:: ::blink::

[AlleyKitten]

Ugh, I was buying some hairsticks today and the woman said "Well, your hair is really too long for this French Twist, if you cut off about five inches it would work better" I was so shocked! I would think that at hip-length it should be obvious that I like my hair long! Then she said "Well, if you ever do cut it, donate it to Locks of Love" I was still so stunned that all I managed to say was "actually, they don't make wigs for kids with cancer, only kids with permanent hairloss like alopecia". I wish I'd been more on top of it and given her more information... and now that I've had time to think about it, I think the perfect retort to the "cut off five inches" remark would have been "No, I think you should learn how to do the style better! The problem is NOT with my hair!"

:mad: I was so cranky! At least the hairsticks are nice...

[HalcyonDays]

I was still so stunned that all I managed to say was "actually, they don't make wigs for kids with cancer, only kids with permanent hairloss like alopecia".Good on you for keeping your cool, but something I've wondered about quite a lot is why kids with alopecia are seen as less deserving of wigs than kids with cancer? Is it just because cancer is so high profile, I wonder. There are so many other devastating diseases in the world, but it's cancer that gets all the attention. I'm not saying it's not worth the attention, but I wonder why other diseases don't get equal attention. Never had any experience with alopecia, although I've had plenty with cancer:rolleyes:, but it seems a little unfair to judge one disease above another like that.

Although I don't think LOL should sell the wigs on a sliding scale...

[/OT]

[GlassEyes]

Good on you for keeping your cool, but something I've wondered about quite a lot is why kids with alopecia are seen as less deserving of wigs than kids with cancer? Is it just because cancer is so high profile, I wonder. There are so many other devastating diseases in the world, but it's cancer that gets all the attention. I'm not saying it's not worth the attention, but I wonder why other diseases don't get equal attention. Never had any experience with alopecia, although I've had plenty with cancer:rolleyes:, but it seems a little unfair to judge one disease above another like that.

Although I don't think LOL should sell the wigs on a sliding scale...

[/OT]

I think it's more because of the surprise that they don't exactly tell us which disease they're raising hair for. It just adds to the dishonesty that exists in their billing.

[HalcyonDays]

Well, I have to admit, I'd never heard of them before I came on LHC, so I don't really know their track record - it's just the "just alopecia, not cancer" idea that gets to me.

[arylkin]

Ugh, I was buying some hairsticks today and the woman said "Well, your hair is really too long for this French Twist, if you cut off about five inches it would work better" I was so shocked!

Ugh! How annoying! :rolleyes:

[intothemist1999]

"Your hair makes you looks like a witch!"





One could reply with, "well, I AM a witch! And aren't you sorry now that you've just insulted me!?" ;)


.

[longhairedfairy]

I was still so stunned that all I managed to say was "actually, they don't make wigs for kids with cancer, only kids with permanent hairloss like alopecia"
-AlleyKitten

Sorry if this is off-topic, but it's been bugging me... How the heck do you pronounce alopecia?

[Lamb]

Sorry if this is off-topic, but it's been bugging me... How the heck do you pronounce alopecia?

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/alopecia
HtH!

[eccentricquirks]

I'm sorry, but if I was in any store where I was looking to buy hairsticks, and the #@&#37;$%$# behind the counter tells me I 'have' to cut hair to do a style.....

I walk out without purchasing a danged thing.

I don't care how desperate you are for the hairsticks, honey. You can always buy better elsewhere from other longhairs or make your own on the cheap that look nicer rather than put up with that stuff from someone who doesn't know diddly.

[Boudicca]

I'm yet to have a negative comment. People know better than to insult the 5'8" redhead :D

[tiny_teesha]

HAHAHA Good one Boudicca

[Xandergrammy]

Sometimes I just don't know what gets into people. Today is wash day, so my hair is loose and whilst one coworker is petting my hair and telling me that in her next life she'll have hair lilke mine, another one blurts out "When are you going to cut that stuff off, Leni?" My response to her was literally :lala:

[Anne~]

Comment, "Ohhh...You should donate your hair to Locks of Love."

Reply, "You should donate your cloths to Good Will."

I heard that somewhere here, :D and I have used it!

Thanks!

[Dee 08]

These are all great responses :)

[truepeacenik]

or, if it is a random person (in an Anglophonic country)
Que?
Bitte?
(or some non English version of What/sorry?)

I have used that as an opening to see if they had Krishna in their life, past, WAAAAAAY past my Krishna days.
they scurry away.

[eccentricquirks]

or, if it is a random person (in an Anglophonic country)
Que?
Bitte?
(or some non English version of What/sorry?)

I have used that as an opening to see if they had Krishna in their life, past, WAAAAAAY past my Krishna days.
they scurry away.

OMG.......toooooo funny.......

I would loooooooove to be able to get away with that.......except Jediism just doesn't have that same dogmatic/repellant touch.....

"Has the Force touched your life?"

Yeah. Jediists get the short end of the stick on that one.....but the long end of the lightsaber in some others....

[florenonite]

If you wanted to be incredibly childish about it you could simply say, "So's your face"; for example, "Your hair is too long"..."So's your face". "You'd look better with short hair"..."So's your face".

Childish, confusing, rude, makes no sense, but it's not easy to respond to ;)

...Unless you're like a couple of my childish friends and myself, in which the appropriate response would be "so's your mum", replied with "so's your mum's face". We have yet to come up with something to follow that, though :P

[Odile]

I have got to remember "Did you mean to say that out loud?" So versatile and useful a phrase, hee hee.

Although I've been lucky, and not had any negative comments about my hair...yet. I'm sure I will, with my luck.

We need to put all these good retorts into one big list!

[Nat242]

...Unless you're like a couple of my childish friends and myself, in which the appropriate response would be "so's your mum", replied with "so's your mum's face". We have yet to come up with something to follow that, though :P

How about, "Takes one to know one?" or, my all time non-rebuttable comment, "Boing flip" (you know, I am rubber, you are glue)? :D

[florenonite]

Nat242: I love it!

Also, I find that one that works very well for the "Your hair's so long" comments is a simple "thank you". It isn't rude, and it shows them that you like the fact that your hair's long such that any confrontation is their fault, not yours, should they then say something like "you should cut it". There are some people (shock, horror!) who don't always notice their hair growing, especially if they wear it up all the time, effectively practising benign neglect, though without any intentions of growing it. A comment like "Your hair's so long" might then to them mean that it might be time for a cut because they haven't cut it in ages and haven't necessarily avoided split ends, etc.

[rockkcor]

Ha ha!
'At least I can cut it when ever I want - but you don't have anything to start with"

[Juli414]

Right, and he can lead into the card, "I have just the thing for you!" Dig in wallet. Yep, Got it! Here ya go!

Then leave.

LUV the fantasy moment!
heidi w.
Hijack, but here's a card that I hand out on odd occasions, including to someone who made a comment on my hair when I had the 3-color anime dye job.

Get out of H3!! Free (http://www.goohf.com/)

Speaking of the dye job, I think people who knew me when I did it don't say anything about my hair now, for fear I'll do it again.

[eccentricquirks]

Nice idea, having a card to just hand people........Its not blatantly rude, and, by the time they've read and comprehended the message, you're gone.

I loves it.

[lynnala]

"Oh really? I guess I didn't get that memo!"

[Lisa-Maria]

Next time someone tells me my hair is long this is what will happen:

whoever; "Your hair is so long!"
me; "Yes..."
whoever; "Are you going to donate it?"
me; "No, sorry you'll have to grow your own!"
... and walk away

[pinkprincess]

Woah, I'll have to remember some of these. My hair obviously isn't long enough to get any negative comments as I've been lucky so far.

[WavyGirl]

I'm just way too polite. I read this thread thinking I must remember some of the excellent retorts and then when it actually happens I always just wimp out instead of using them. It happened again last night. A friend feels it's okay to tell me I need a trim every time I see her and I've used all sorts of polite answers from "yes I agree but I'm on a schedule" to "can we please not have this conversation again?" which was last night's response. She continues regardless. I then dreamt I jumped up saying "yes, let me go get the scissors right now and you can hack the whole lot off".

I wish I could use the "did you really mean to say that?" line but I feel I couldn't give the right delivery to make it work. Apart from the unsolicited advice she is really a very good friend and I don't want to upset her.

[Nyghtingale]

Apart from the unsolicited advice she is really a very good friend and I don't want to upset her.

It's sad that she doesn't have the same consideration for you. I think your hair is lovely.

[CryssieWillow]

stare vaguely into the distance like trying to think of something when somebody makes a rude comment. If they ask you what you are doing, say happily: "Im just checking to see if I care.... wait a sec.... No. I don't"
And continue as if nothing happened.

[Dolly]

Well, mine isn't too long yet (just below my bra strap).....but I have received negative comments like......


"You know, long hair is no longer in fashion."
To this, I say....."In fashion, to me, equals boring."


When I went in for a trim one day, there was a client in the beauty shop telling me I should get my hair CUT, not just trimmed. When I told her I was growing it out, she asked me "WHY? You would look better with short hair." I told her that it was for a movie part. When she asked what the part was, I told her I was going to be auditioning for "Cousin It" from the Adams Family in a couple of years. She just walked away with a stupid look on her face as my stylist (also a long-haired lady) and I were chuckling.....


I also receive comments on my bright red color, which literally GLOWS when I get out in the sun. To which I respond "It makes a statement".....when the person is stupid enough to say, "Yeah? What statement is that?" I just say, LOUDLY....."It says GO AWAY!!!"

[florenonite]

stare vaguely into the distance like trying to think of something when somebody makes a rude comment. If they ask you what you are doing, say happily: "Im just checking to see if I care.... wait a sec.... No. I don't"
And continue as if nothing happened.

Lol, this reminds me of my friend's "care face", which requires great effort to point to whenever I say something he doesn't care about (we tend to wind each other up in a jovial manner).


Well, mine isn't too long yet (just below my bra strap).....but I have received negative comments like......


"You know, long hair is no longer in fashion."
To this, I say....."In fashion, to me, equals boring."



I'd probably reply with one of my favourite quotations ever, from one of my favourite authors (Oscar Wilde) "Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we must alter it every six months". Can you tell I'm an English student?:D

[Dolly]

I'd probably reply with one of my favourite quotations ever, from one of my favourite authors (Oscar Wilde) "Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we must alter it every six months". Can you tell I'm an English student?:D


Oh, I like that one!!

[WavyGirl]

It's sad that she doesn't have the same consideration for you. I think your hair is lovely.

Aww gee thanks. *blushes* I'm actually getting used to these ends now and so her comments don't bother me about the condition of my hair. I know my post LHC stuff is doing really well and it's just a matter of time until these dry mis-treated ends are gone. These days I tend to focus instead on how rude she is. I sit there thinking about how much more I love my hair now than I ever did at her length (2 inches all over) and how funny it is that she feels qualified to give me advice. :evil:

[dor3girl]

I am totally laughing at these! Some great ideas here. . .

I usually just reply with a "yep--it's getting long"--kinda like reinforcing the obvious. But I wish I had the nerve to make a sassier remark!

My sister used to say, "I may be fat, but you're ugly, & I can always diet"

[dor3girl]

I'm just way too polite. I read this thread thinking I must remember some of the excellent retorts and then when it actually happens I always just wimp out instead of using them. It happened again last night. A friend feels it's okay to tell me I need a trim every time I see her and I've used all sorts of polite answers from "yes I agree but I'm on a schedule" to "can we please not have this conversation again?" which was last night's response. She continues regardless. I then dreamt I jumped up saying "yes, let me go get the scissors right now and you can hack the whole lot off".

I wish I could use the "did you really mean to say that?" line but I feel I couldn't give the right delivery to make it work. Apart from the unsolicited advice she is really a very good friend and I don't want to upset her.

I hear you on this one--my personality is similar to yours. I usually just try to make peace by saying, "how much would you recommend that I cut off?" If she says 1 or 2 inches--then say, "yeah, I will consider that--might make it look healthier"--but if she says 6"--I would say, "whoa! that took me a whole year to grow 6 inches!"--Usually I just explain that my hair is a science experiment--and I promised myself I would let it grow for 5-7 years to see how long it could get. "I am growing it for science!" *giggle*

[Tressie]

I can't stop laughing long enough to think of a serious retort! This is great fun!!

[jissy]

I loved this one from the old boards, I don't remember who posted it and I hope they don't mind me quoting them.

I would never actually use this as I think it is a little over the top but :cool: :-

Comment - You should cut your hair.
Reply - I thought about cutting my hair but then I got afraid that it would look like yours ;)

Ok I was just lurking but had to comment on this one since well it is soooooooooo me!!!

I was told a few years ago when I was pregnant with #4 and had #'s 2 and 3 in a double stroller.. "OMG why do you have long hair, just cut it". My response was "why, then I would like every woman in this town"... The person smiled and walked away. Mind you this was not a person I knew!!!!! So i had no problem saying what I had to say. Maybe they learned that being rude to someone means they might get a comment back that they wont like.

I seldom get comments anymore about how long my hair is. It is usually from the moms. "oh why is your hair long". I usually say "ummm because that's what happens when you don't cut it" OR I get ...now read this carefully its so stupid. "YOur hair is so beautiful I wish I had hair like that, why dont you cut it?" Now this is coming from a mom that knows me(not well but still knows me). I said "no then it would be short and I short hair is so boring" ROFL But I say it in a nice sweet tone and smile the entire time.

I do get comments that are cute though.. OMG did you see her long hair? How pretty. Or wow mommy her hair is long. The mom looks at me and she nods and smiles and you can see she is being nice.
I only had one comment that cost the husband... but very funny to me. I overheard a young man with his wife/girlfriend say "her hair is awesome, why dont you have it like that" but in a gruff voice. All you heard was a the slap that came next and I just took the kids and walked away laughing. I couldn't help myself.

People are confused with long hair, they have no clue what to think.

Most of the time depending on the day I find it amusing.

[Feline]

This actually happened to me about a year or so ago....

Some sweet young thing with very blonde hair and (according to DH) obvious implants :rolleyes: said to me "you know, you should cut that, you won't be able to wear long hair once you're 30!"

Me: "Whoops, too late, I'm already 53!" (Which I was, at the time)

The look on her face was precious. And we quickly exited stage left....:D

[Loviatar]

I like my BF's phrase, "I'll be sure to subscribe to your newsletter."

And I'm very fond of the words of Captain Mal Reynolds...

"Your mouth is talking. You might want to look to that." :lol:

[jissy]

those last two posts had me cracking up....

Oh and yes men do tend to notice when they are real or not.....not sure why they notice since I"m sure it doesn't matter if they are real or bought LOL

[CaraLynn]

In the words of my dear sister:

Well now if THAT isn't a crazy idea you dragged in from left field! *shocked look*

I have more but I can't think of any at the moment

[Fluke]

I loved the one someone suggested as a LOL comment comeback, about saving their hair for their own wig since they were soon about to start chemo :D

I'd love to see the reaction to that!

[baobhan sith]

Mine won't be specifically aimed at hair insults, just general ones.

*pause*(stare at them blinking, preferably with eyebrows slightly raised) "uh-huh" very slowly, nodding. it doesn't sound great written, but it really works.

If i can't be bothered to reply, i just ignore them, and then if they push the point and want to know why you're not answering " why would i want to waste more oxygen on you? You're already stealing enough by breathing!"

And i can't remember who it was, but someone on here posted about people apparently being unaware that you can here them. Picture a group of gossipybitchywhispery teenage girls, sitting on the row behind me (as in, less than a foot away).

*without turning around, just raise voice* "Wow, it's just as well that i'm facing the other way and am in front of you, because otherwise i might hear what you're saying and take offense!"

[LadyEliza]

I had a lady a few weeks back that looked to be slightly younger or same age as me make a comment that long hair was only for younger people( hello I am 31 and age doesn't matter with hair but anyway). I looked at her and said well it's a heck of alot cheaper than those creams and treatments everyone else uses and walked off. She was expensively dressed etc so I know it hit home:)

"Who feed you that load of !&**?"

heehee

[JamieLeigh]

I consider "Why don't you donate your hair to Locks of Love?" to be a negative comment.

And I have actually said in retort, "Why don't you donate money to cancer research? I'm sure those people would rather NOT have cancer, and still have their own hair...than to HAVE cancer and wear mine!"

(And that is not originally from me, either...a friend on Facebook gave me that. LOL)

[LadyEliza]

I loved the one someone suggested as a LOL comment comeback, about saving their hair for their own wig since they were soon about to start chemo :D

I'd love to see the reaction to that!


Zoe, who was (at that time) bald (she was a performer), had to use that once to prevent a gang from beating her up (and maybe worse). They went from agressive and attacking to considerate - and escorted her home so that she wouldn't be bothered by anyone else!

[Coriander]

I love "Did you mean to say that out loud?"!!!

I also love staring at them for a minute then saying, "And you're telling me this because......"

Stammer stammer stammer... lol it works every time.

Of course, a simple smile and "Thanks so much!" puts them off too!

[NeilTheFuzz]

"At least I've got some hair, mate."

[Ash]

"Wow, your hair is so long!" - "Not long enough!" (said with a big smile)

"Why don't you cut your hair?" - "Because I don't want to?"

"You look like a hippie, witch, etc" - "And you look like a sheep!" / People I am more familiar with get the "Some might label me a witch" with a big grin

"Why don't you do something with your hair?" - "There are a lot more things that can be done with long hair than short hair." (then proceed to list styles until their eyes glaze over)

"That is so out of style!" - "Do I look like I care about style?" (I wear all black, usually boots, combat trousers and a plain black shirt, shuts them up)

"Isn't long hair dirty?" - "I bet I have less crap in my hair than you do in yours."

[Fillette]

Depending on how bad the comment is:
To a not so rude comment, I respond: "If that's OK with you, I will wear my hair as I please" with a polite smile on my face.
To a very rude comment, I respond: "Wow, I did not know it was possible. But being this rude actually makes you look even uglier" and walk away.

[flapjack]

those last two posts had me cracking up....

Oh and yes men do tend to notice when they are real or not.....not sure why they notice since I"m sure it doesn't matter if they are real or bought LOL


To a lot of men, it matters a lot, apparently. The general consensus I always hear (my friends are so lovingly blunt with me... sigh... haha), is that natural of any size is better than fake ones of any size. That's definitely a thought trend I've picked up on.


This thread is still amazing, hahaha.

[Lady Verity]

"Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted."

[Heidi_234]

Pointless comment: "Your hair is long"
Answer: "Your hair is brown/blond/.."

Even though I don't get any comments at all, long hair is much more common around here probably, and mine isn't that long at all. I my class in high school I had 4 girls with at least waist and even hip and tb length gorgeus hair. Needless to say I was always so envious!

[Chrissy]

One thing that works is to say - I'm sorry you feel that way no matter what they say. It stops them in there tracks because you will not argue with them.

[venividibxtchy]

Utterly non-confrontational/disarming:
Other person: "Your hair is so long."
Me: "I KNOW, RIGHT?!" (Said in a very lighthearted, joking manner, with a slight laugh)

If the person is particularly snippy:
"Well, aren't you just precious."/"Well, aren't you just a peach."

If I want to embarrass the individual:
"I guess your Mother never taught you manners."
"Did your Mother instill in you even a modicum of common courtesy?"
"<First name>, your Mother would be ashamed."

Whole hog approach:
"You might want to get your head and your ass wired together there, Cuppycake/Captain/Ass Manager/other condescending name of choice."

My *special* approach:
Now, this one requires special care, because if abused, it will just make you look silly. You have to say it in the perfect voice. Try to "channel" an over-the-top clerk/customer service rep./sales employee/etc. You must be super-accomodating, and ever-so-grateful, and as fake as possible. You want to be just seeping with sarcasm.

"Hey, <cutesy nickname> (Use "Mandy", if their name is Amanda, etc. -- this is especially useful if they always go by their full name), could you be a lamb (or "doll") and do me a biiiig favor?"
-*wait for response*-.
"Can you go ahead and <insert insulting phrase>? If you could just...go ahead and do that for me, that'd be reeeeeeaaally greeeeat, thanks. If you could just...try and get that done as soon as possible, it would just be...just...a lifesaver, y'know? Thanks a bunch."

When you see them again, put on the voice again and ask,
"So Mandy, how's that working out for ya'?"

(*sigh*. That's utterly lost in text, but oh, well.)

EDIT:
Oh, one more.

"Duly noted."

That stops them dead in their tracks.

[Kiraela]

One I used a few days ago, with a friend who finally saw me with my hair down and said, " You should do something with your hair..."

I kind of waved my hands towards my hair and said, " This is YEARS of something!" at which point I listed my routine and she was like, "Wow. That's a lot of something, yeah."


Or another time, in which the conversation went something like this: "I want to cut your hair for you! Don't you think some cute little razored layers would be awesome?" "no, not particularly." "I totally won't be your friend anymore if you don't let me at least trim it for you." "Okay." at which point I got up and wandered off.

[Smokering]

Zoe, who was (at that time) bald (she was a performer), had to use that once to prevent a gang from beating her up (and maybe worse). They went from agressive and attacking to considerate - and escorted her home so that she wouldn't be bothered by anyone else!
I had a friend once who was bald from Crohn's complications. A drunk/stoned/otherwise not-with-it guy on the street was about to beat him up one time for being a skinhead, when Chris patiently said "No, I'm sick". The guy's eyes went wide and he fell all over himself saying "Aw, man, I respect cancer, eh, sorry, dude, cheers"... Chris didn't bother clarifying. In fact he used the 'cancer' line one other time to great effect, when a bunch of teenagers were snickering at him. Apparently the look on their faces were priceless.

I had a little girl once whisper "Look mummy, a witch!" at me. :lol I was loitering in a park at twilight with my hair down wearing a black cloak, so I guess I deserved that one. And that was in my pre-henna days, even!

Nowadays I seem to get neither insults nor compliments on my hair. Mostly people are looking at my baby instead. :p I get asked if my hair is 'natural' sometimes, but it's usually followed by a compliment, however hasty! Comments on my hairsticks (you know, "You could kill someone with those!" or "You could eat sushi with those") are annoying but presumably considered inoffensive and witty by the perpetrators, so I do what my mamma taught me and smile weakly.

I do, however, use "so's your face" and "your mom" in a happy variety of contexts to my husband and sisters.

[Bene]

"is it my hair/face/body/etc or yours?"


that usually works for whenever ppl have some negative criticism about other ppl's stuff

[Coriander]

Whole hog approach:
"You might want to get your head and your ass wired together there, Cuppycake/Captain/Ass Manager/other condescending name of choice."

:applause: You do have the titles down to a science... Ass Manager... lol - that had me :spitting:



Can you go ahead and <insert insulting phrase>? If you could just...go ahead and do that for me, that'd be reeeeeeaaally greeeeat, thanks. If you could just...try and get that done as soon as possible, it would just be...just...a lifesaver, y'know? Thanks a bunch."


This reminds me SO much of "Office Space" ... the boss, what's his name? Bill Lumberger? "Um, Yeah..." :rollin:

[BlackfootHair]

You might think you are so important that your opinions matter to me, but they don't.

[wintersun99]

I just gave a cheery "thank you" to anything and everything anybody said about my hair. If it was meant as a compliment than great and if not, that answer and tone really confused the meanies :D

[Citrine]

Answer: "Your hair is brown/blond/.."


I haven't received any negative comments yet, but strangers frequently tell me "You're hair is blonde!". I just smile and say "thank you" but really now, if I hadn't noticed the color by now something would be amiss :wigtongue

[smilinjenn71]

This could have been said already, as I didn't read every post.

"Good thing I didn't ask for your opinion"

[KiwiLiz]

My sister used to say, "I may be fat, but you're ugly, & I can always diet"
I use that one too, except about being too thin... One of my boyfriend's friends was really giving me hell about being so thin (never mind that I have a chronic illness that makes me this way), I once got so upset with him "I may be thin, but I can do something about that, I can manage my chronic illness and put on weight. You, however, will always be ugly, and you'll probably always be a rude, insensitive prick too."

He's never commented on weight again.

[wolf girl]

I haven't received any negative comments yet, but strangers frequently tell me "You're hair is blonde!". I just smile and say "thank you" but really now, if I hadn't noticed the color by now something would be amiss :wigtongue


My mouth would have to point that fact out to them too.

"Really? I hadn't noticed... :rolleyes:"

[LionessMom]

i have once said,
"oh my goodness! Someone is actually talking to me! I have been waiting all day for someone to actually talk to me! how exciting! etc"

or "did you come up with that opinion all by yourself, or did your mom help you?"

[leilamarie79]

- Your hair is so long!
- Okay. *continue on your merry way*

- You should cut your hair!
- I don't remember asking for your opinion.

- Your hair looks bad, you should cut it!
- Your face looks bad, ever considered Botox?

;)

Love it! I'll have to use that Botox one if a friend who can take a joke ever comments on my hair. I have to admit I'd be too chicken to use it on a stranger.

[MandaMom2Three]

"If I ever decide to care what other people think, I'll be sure to let you know."

"Ummmm, and I care what you think....why?"

"Oops! Silly me, there I go thinking for myself again! Sorry, I'll try to be more conformist now" :rolleyes:

[KiwiLiz]

My favourite response when some one says something negative about me, or about any one else, I turn it back on them and say "Well, so are/do you, but I still keep you around."

Tehehe

[Alaskanheart]

Im always surprised to hear that the "your hair is soooo long" comment bothers people with long hair.I would find it rude if I commented on someones beautiful hair positively and they got snippy back at me.It would feel a bit stuck up to me to make a rude comment back at someone who was trying to be nice.

I dont know what I would do if someone told me my hair was too long for my age or to cut it because it was out of style.Nothing like that has ever happened to me...yet...

maybe something like... Wow I bet if you had a nickle for everytime someone gave a damn about your opinion youd be much richer than you are...

[Beloved]

"You must have me confused with someone who cares what you think."

[Heidi_234]

Im always surprised to hear that the "your hair is soooo long" comment bothers people with long hair.I would find it rude if I commented on someones beautiful hair positively and they got snippy back at me.It would feel a bit stuck up to me to make a rude comment back at someone who was trying to be nice.

I dont know what I would do if someone told me my hair was too long for my age or to cut it because it was out of style.Nothing like that has ever happened to me...yet...

maybe something like... Wow I bet if you had a nickle for everytime someone gave a damn about your opinion youd be much richer than you are...
Usually the "your hair is so long" comments isn't said in a positive way (not everybody is on LHC and think long hair's beautiful), it's just a blunt one. As like if somebody comes to you and say "you wear makeup".
I mean, it is something that makes you think "Oh, really?! I haven't noticed it without you saying it". Just a stupid useless comment and meant to do nothing, nor positive feedback, neither a negative one. And it's so stupid you can't think of anything to answer.

[Carolyn]

Usually the "your hair is so long" comments isn't said in a positive way (not everybody is on LHC and think long hair's beautiful), it's just a blunt one. As like if somebody comes to you and say "you wear makeup".
I mean, it is something that makes you think "Oh, really?! I haven't noticed it without you saying it". Just a stupid useless comment and meant to do nothing, nor positive feedback, neither a negative one. And it's so stupid you can't think of anything to answer.If it's said with a warm smile and a look of "oh wow" then I take it as a compliment. But sometimes it's said with an "oh yuck, eeeeeew gross" tone and look. Those are the times for a snarky comeback.

[rchorr]

My sister's mother-in-law said, "Don't you think you're too old for hair that long?" My reply (and I'll warn you ... I was PMS) "Maybe, but I'm not old enough for YOUR hairstyle."

RCHORR'

[DotDotDot]

If it's said with a warm smile and a look of "oh wow" then I take it as a compliment. But sometimes it's said with an "oh yuck, eeeeeew gross" tone and look. Those are the times for a snarky comeback.

See, I've just never known what to do if it's neither of those. I've never been able to figure out what to do if it's said in a completely blunt, emotionless, I-feel-like-pointing-out-the-obvious tone. Usually I'll just take it as a compliment and say thanks anyway, but I'm never quite sure of what I should do.

My favorite comeback is:

Other person: Your hair is so pretty!
Me: Thank you!
Other person: You should cut it.
Me: Your nose is so cute... You should get a nose job.

It really annoys me when someone compliments my hair just the way it is, long and curly, then tells me I should change it. :rolleyes: When they tell me to straighten it, I usually just use the classic, "I'm not here to decorate your world."

[punky]

I loved this one from the old boards, I don't remember who posted it and I hope they don't mind me quoting them.

I would never actually use this as I think it is a little over the top but :cool: :-

Comment - You should cut your hair.
Reply - I thought about cutting my hair but then I got afraid that it would look like yours ;)
I like that. It's great! :D

[Kimberly]

One of my standbys is, "Thanks for your opinion, but you're not in my target demographic." Then I make a clean getaway while they're trying to figure it out.

[Aditi]

I loved this one from the old boards, I don't remember who posted it and I hope they don't mind me quoting them.

I would never actually use this as I think it is a little over the top but :cool: :-

Comment - You should cut your hair.
Reply - I thought about cutting my hair but then I got afraid that it would look like yours ;)
This one is marvelous. But i am afraid i won't be able to use it as no one ever passes a negative hair comment on me, everyone is so amused to see my long hair and give me compliments.