Hair damage confusion

[girlcat36]

I do some work for a woman who owns a hair salon; today she said to me that she had some shampoo and conditioner to give to me, "...and don't take this the wrong way-----but your hair is damaged."
I was a little taken aback. I recently cut a foot off my hair due to some sun damage, and my hair is 17" and looking much healthier and I am growing it back out.
I asked her WHY she thought my hair would be damaged, since I don't do a lot of the things that damage hair(she owns the salon, but is not a stylist). She replied that it is from coloring my hair; I am growing out a semi-permanent dye. I was under the impression that semi-permanent color was not damaging, and I always applied coconut oil before coloring.
When I had my hair cut 2 moths ago at a different salon, that stylist also said my hair was very damaged. That stylist also had me leaving the salon looking like I stuck my finger in an electric socket when I left. It looked horrible. Talk about damage...he shampooed, blow dried, fluffed and siliconed it to death. It looked like 2a frizz with nary a 3a curl in sight.
I am surprised people are telling me I have damage since I am very gentle on my hair; I oil, I sleep on silk pillowcases always, and never find many splits during S&D. I thought 5 years of LHC care would improve my hair.
My entire adult life on the few occasions I have been in a salon for a cut, they always say the same thing to me----that my hair is damaged. Even back before I ever touched hair dye. I never understood why they thought it was damaged. I didn't brush, color, or blow dry.
I have had long-standing problems with hairloss, and always have baby hairs growing in. I had sustantial hairloss this past winter and spring, which is now growing in---lots of shortie hairs.
Are the shorter growing in hairs being mistaken for damaged, broken hairs?
I have curly hair; is curly hair just inherently 'damaged', even if treated with care?
Curly hair; even if healthy, WILL frizz. Is the frizz being mistaken for damage?
I guess I'm just wondering if stylists mistake a certain type of hair(baby-fine, curly) as being damaged?
I have never encountered a stylist that knew how to work with my curly hair. I have never walked out of a salon with that 'I look so much better and my hair is gorgeous' feeling. It would be awesome to have that happen just ONCE, but I'm pretty sure it not ever going to happen.
What do you all think, could it just be my hair type that looks damaged?

[Darkessa]

They have no idea what they are talking about....
Most (Not all) stylists think that healthy hair has to be sleek, smooth, and shiny.... Regardless of ANYTHING.
Curly hair, as you stated, has a tendency to be frizzy and dry.

If you feel good about the health of your hair, and you know you are careful with it... Dont worry about what brainwashed stylists say.
Its all about what YOUR hair wants, and what you want from your hair. :)


And dont get me wrong, I have met and know of several stylists that DO know more about actually healthy hair, and how different hair types behave.

[MrsGuther]

I definitely think people mistake curly hair frizz for "damage". Don't let people get you down! I'm sure if you baby your hair, and you said you do, that your hair is fine!

[kallarina]

And also, remember that stylists make their money off of damaged hair. Cutting it, making it look beautiful, selling you products to repair/reduce/prevent damage. Those who make money off selling the products, i.e., the owner, will use whatever tactic they have to sometimes.
I hope no one takes offense to this, as I'm not suggesting this is always the case. My mother worked in a salon for 12 years though, so I've seen these tactics a lot.
I'm sure if you're caring for your hair the LHC way, then it's probably drop dead gorgeous. I wouldn't worry about what mainstream hair stylists say. :D

[Lesiaoc]

I agree. Stylists are not hair doctors. Although they do learn about hair health in cosmetology school, there are very few stylists who actually take real care of their hair. For too many stylists, "taking care" of hair is a process where the end ("healthy looking hair") justifies the means. Too many stylists (and I'm not knocking all of them) don't care how much chemical processing and heat styling they put their hair through to make it look "healthy."

Your hair is beautiful, and you will find someone, whether they are a professional or not, who can help you reach your goals with your hair.

[jeanniet]

I don't think most stylists understand the characteristics of curly hair. If it isn't smooth and shiny (straight), and especially if there's any frizz, then it must be damaged. You know your hair better than anyone, so if you feel it's in good shape, don't worry about what the salon tells you. If this happens again, I would ask them to tell and show you exactly what they're talking about--and if they can't show you dryness, splits, whatever, then you know they're full of...hot air. :D

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Maybe she wanted to cut it and make you pay for the privilege? It doesn't necessarily mean your hair IS damaged, she may have just been hoping to make some money off you.

[CurlyCap]

I've spent my whole life being told by stylists that my hair is damaged. Other favorite quotes are "You can't cut your type of hair unless it's straightened", "There's no reason you would need more leave-in than any other person", and "Cutting curly hair is no different than cutting straight hair".

So, knowing nothing else about the situation, my gut instinct is to tell you to ignore her because she likely doesn't know what she's talking about.

However, you may have some sun damaged left. However, you mentioned that you're addressing that with trims. Also, in my case, semi-permanent and veggie dyes were both very drying for me, so perhaps to someone who already isn't used to dealing with curly hair, DRY curly hair would seem damaged or inapproachable. Either way, both of these problems can be address with your current gentle treatment regimen, time, and moisture.

There's a reason most curlies hate salons. Just sayin'.

[bunnylake]

I experience the same thing every time I go to a salon. I have wavy hair, not curls, and I take care of it very meticulously. I'd certainly know if it were damaged. Every time a stylist has told me I have damage, I know they are wrong.
I asked my sister who is a stylist about this, and she said that the reason for this is that they want you to think your hair isn't good enough so that you'll pay them for more of their services.
I also find that she knows very little about what makes or keeps hair HEALTHY. It seems that in cosmetology school the focus is on style, cut and color, and much much less on health.

That said, I'm sure your hair is NOT damaged at all. The stylists might honestly be ignorant, or they are just trying to sell you more services. Either way, if you've been on LHC for more than a year or so, you know what damage looks like. Trust your own instincts!

[justgreen]

I've spent my whole life being told by stylists that my hair is damaged. Other favorite quotes are "You can't cut your type of hair unless it's straightened", "There's no reason you would need more leave-in than any other person", and "Cutting curly hair is no different than cutting straight hair".

So, knowing nothing else about the situation, my gut instinct is to tell you to ignore her because she likely doesn't know what she's talking about.

However, you may have some sun damaged left. However, you mentioned that you're addressing that with trims. Also, in my case, semi-permanent and veggie dyes were both very drying for me, so perhaps to someone who already isn't used to dealing with curly hair, DRY curly hair would seem damaged or inapproachable. Either way, both of these problems can be address with your current gentle treatment regimen, time, and moisture.

There's a reason most curlies hate salons. Just sayin'.

Oh boy I don't agree on this one! I know a lot of stylists feel this way but IMO with curly hair you have to cut it the way it lays.

Girlcat I do not believe your hair is damaged. In the pictures you post your hair always looks well kept and shiny. I wouldn't take to heart anything that person said to you. AND if she gave you some products throw them away. LOL!:)

[Kimberly]

Some stylists seem to think frizz is "burned" hair.

[melusine963]

I think stylists just have no idea what to do with your hair texture/curl. You're probably right when you say they might be mistaking frizz for damage. The only curls they ever see are probably the result of heat styling, and look nothing like your natural ones.

[eros]

Thats so weird she'd say that just because you dyed your hair. my mum chemically dyes her hair to cover the greys all the time (not at the salon,john frieda hair dye). But at the salon,everyone tells her all the time how healthy and soft her hair is. Her hair is 1a. so yeah I think your stylists saying that cause of the frizz and texture. next time you get there,you should just tell her how sorely mistaken she is.

[Lissandria]

We are hair twins girlcat and I have always been told by stylists that my hair is damaged- even when my hair was well looked after.
Curly + fine hair is a rare combination. I don't think many stylists understand curls, let alone fine curls.

Your hair always looks healthy and shiny to me. I have no doubt that it is. Im so pleased you have some new growth and you are growing again :)

[rtree721]

I don't think you have anything to worry about. It sounds like you take good care of your hair.
My mother owned her own salon and cut hair for maybe two decades... but she doesn't know how to really make hair healthy. She was good at styling and cutting of course, but to her, taking care of hair involves a lot of dying and heat styling. And so for this reason, I do not like to go to salons and I don't take any hair care professionals opinions on my hair. Sure there are great stylists out there but I just can't get past it. I think I'm just stubborn :P

[lapushka]

I have curly hair; is curly hair just inherently 'damaged', even if treated with care?
Curly hair; even if healthy, WILL frizz. Is the frizz being mistaken for damage?
I guess I'm just wondering if stylists mistake a certain type of hair(baby-fine, curly) as being damaged?
I have never encountered a stylist that knew how to work with my curly hair. I have never walked out of a salon with that 'I look so much better and my hair is gorgeous' feeling. It would be awesome to have that happen just ONCE, but I'm pretty sure it not ever going to happen.
What do you all think, could it just be my hair type that looks damaged?

I think that's the problem right there. They don't know curly hair, nor do they know how to deal with it, so they take the curls for damage! How totally unprofessional. Not something you say to a possible client.

[girlcat36]

Thank you, everybody!!!
I think it is a hairtype issue.
Lissandria, we are hair twins and I see I'm not alone with the hairstylists remarks.
BTW, I did try the 'amazing' shampoo and condish that my boss gave me, 150.00 worth of Bumble & Bumble for severely damaged hair, and I'm not impressed. It didn't do anything better for me than my usual routine, because the problem is my hairtype!! Nothing is going to change that!
Besides, the B&B is very coney and I am cone-free. I thought I would try it anyway, but silicones just aren't good in my hair. The make it sticky and tangly and give me bacne.

I'll just keep doing what I have been doing, except I will keep my hair out of the sun from now on!


I'm so glad the server isn't busy anymore!!! :p

[girlcat36]

Just thought I'd add in to this thread that I was at a party last night and met a hair stylist. I was telling her my hair damage stories so she took a closer look at my hair and felt it and said it was NOT damage, it was simply the texture of my hair and stylists aren't familiar with it.
I had a long talk with her about my frustrations with stylists, and she was very sympathetic. So if I ever return to a stylist to have anything done to my hair I will go to her. She works out of her home which is a bonus for me, since I am so intimidated by salons.

[RubyTuesday]

You know your hair better than a hairdresser. I truly believe that they just say your hair is damaged to make you insecure and to make you feel you really need their help. If your hair was damaged you would know.

Curly hair and frizzy hair often gets mistaken for damaged her. Just because it is dry/coarse, does not mean it is damaged. I have completely given up on hairdressers now. I don't believe a word they say.

[jacqueline101]

I wouldn't listen to that stylist she sounds like she's selling you goods.

[spidermom]

I took a test on line to see what products they recommended, and they interpreted my statement of having a lot of different lengths disrupting the surface of my hair as "broken hairs". Well - yes - maybe a few, but most of them are newer and shorter baby hairs. Nothing about that in their analysis. So I ignored the results.

[sunnydee92]

You know your hair best! Most stylists don't know anything about "health". Also, they can be super harsh with curly hair because they don't understand it. My friend with incredibly curly hair ALWAYS gets "advice" and whatnot from stylists.

[hippie girl]

I have the opposite hair from you, totally straight, but I have had discussions with curly friends (both male and female) who have told me that they specifically search out curly peeps as their stylists.

The logic is that the curly-hair stylists (or barbers) will be far better at working with the curls since they live the part, so to speak. Maybe a curly stylist would have a different opinion about the true condition of your hair. It's just a thought, but your post reminded me of my past conversations of how my curly friends seek curly stylists, so I thought I'd throw it out there.

And, as always, I love your curls! Looks beautiful to me! :)