Tempting to start flat ironing again

[Rufflebutt]

I'm getting really frustrated with getting my hair to look nice and neat. My hair is straight, but constantly looks ratty and ungroomed due to the fact that it's 1b/c and really damaged from dye and heat.

I feel really self conscious walking around with my hair. I get tons of compliments on it, but I can't help but think that it resembles a dead animal. I know that will look better once the heat damage grows out, but I'm having a lot of motivation issues with sticking to my no-heat plan. I've been toying with the idea of straightening it on a wash day and then keeping it like that for as long as possible until I need to wash it again instead of my old routine of daily washing/straightening. But it goes against my goal of quitting cold turkey.

Are any of you guys growing out heat damage? What motivates you to keep the flat iron turned off? Help!

[HintOfMint]

Well, I hardly ever wear my hair in its natural texture. I damp bun and use product and basically brush out my waves. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But that's only half of it. The other half is realizing that my hair really reacts poorly to regular uses of heat. It's a trade-off between length and the style I want at times. So it's not that the hair straightener is tempting. It's just off-limits for me.

You could look into hair wrapping, which smooths and straightens hair much like a blowout. That's pretty damage free.

ETA: I didn't grow out heat damage, I had to chop off more than a foot of it. So I know that heat damage isn't worth it.

[akilina]

I don't know how long you have been heat free...but it just keeps getting better and better :)

I have not consistently straightened my hair everyday since about...November ''11. Since then I had done it maybe once a week or twice a week until around..april when I moved and became umemployed.
I straighten maybe once a month at best now. My hair really thanks me a lot. It is just something annoying you have to tough thru if you are set on doing it.

One thing that helped the transition for me was wearing my hair up but only straightening my bangs and face framing.
My hair started looking less and less like a dead animal and better every day. Now it actually looks pretty good without touching it with a flat iron.. It is naturally sort of wavy and its finally looking good all on its own.
It just takes time >.<

Edit..the other thing that I ask myself when I want to do anything bad to my hair is... "will this help with my ultimate goals of long healthy hair with as thick of ends as I can possibly have?" The answer is usually NO and in that case, I refrain.

[Rufflebutt]

Well, I hardly ever wear my hair in its natural texture. I damp bun and use product and basically brush out my waves. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But that's only half of it. The other half is realizing that my hair really reacts poorly to regular uses of heat. It's a trade-off between length and the style I want at times. So it's not that the hair straightener is tempting. It's just off-limits for me.

You could look into hair wrapping, which smooths and straightens hair much like a blowout. That's pretty damage free.

ETA: I didn't grow out heat damage, I had to chop off more than a foot of it. So I know that heat damage isn't worth it.
I may look into head wrapping actually, as an alternative to straightening. I'm pretty sure that my hair is straight enough to achieve the same results with a wrap as with a flat iron. So why waste the damage? Plus I could find a nice satin or silk covering to wrap my hair in.. My next payday I might invest in one. But I really want my hair to be healthy so I'm trying to stave off of that flat iron. XP

[aspartame gram]

Another option might be braiding? You could probably get some really nice waves with it. That would allow you to style it without feeling like you need to straighten it.

I hope the wrapping works! I have heard of it but I've never done it myself.

[goldloli]

Ditto on everything said in this thread, the bit about only straightening face framing worked for me too.

Well, I hardly ever wear my hair in its natural texture. I damp bun and use product and basically brush out my waves. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But that's only half of it. The other half is realizing that my hair really reacts poorly to regular uses of heat. It's a trade-off between length and the style I want at times. So it's not that the hair straightener is tempting. It's just off-limits for me.

You could look into hair wrapping, which smooths and straightens hair much like a blowout. That's pretty damage free.

ETA: I didn't grow out heat damage, I had to chop off more than a foot of it. So I know that heat damage isn't worth it.

All of this! I damp bun with product on the top of my head and it forms perfect curls that are straightish on top like a digital perm when i take it out in the morning. Every one in a while I get annoyed and straighten my hair and wow it just doesn't feel great, it instantly dries it out and causes splits and tangles. It doesnt eve shine as greatly as straightening used to, although i think that's because i'm used to even more shine from lhc methods.

Once every 2 weeks to a month i will straighten on a lower heat, using less passes than i used to. It is less damaging, but i think because i have previous heat damage (from 5 days a week high heat 6 passes) that it does still cause splits in those areas. Maybe it wouldn't be so disastrous on virgin hair, all i know is that it takes a couple of hair masks and babying to return moisture even after low heat.

Straighten it one time and feel your hair, that alone will probably make you wanna avoid it.

[Lissandria]

There is some great advice in this thread.

I really think you should try and wait it out, your hair will improve. I know quitting my flat iron is the single best thing I have done for my hair. Full stop. As others have said there is a transition period where you hate your hair and you feel restricted because you can't do anything with it. Then you will find that things will settle down and your hair will start to look and feel better.

I personally don't know much about your 1b texture (being a 3a and all ;)) but I do know that long healthy hair becomes so much easier once you figure out what works and what doesn't work for your hair's natural texture. Once you figure that out, with any luck you won't feel the need to flat iron anymore.

While I think your plan to flat iron once after a wash sounds like a compromise, I think that any flat ironing on a regular basis, even if its not everyday, will eventually take it's toll on your hair.

Things that have helped me are also as the others have said- heat styling your bangs (if you have them) and your face framing bits for a more polished look. If you are interested there are heaps of buns and braids you may want to learn which will help.

Good luck :flower:

[Dars]

It will be 3 years later this month since the last time I straightened my hair or used any kind of heat on it. The temptation ceased a long time ago but I remember the early days very vividly - I was addicted! I trimmed my hair often as I couldn't stand the damage. That was my biggest motivator. I wanted long hair but I had to cut it frequently because it was damaged from using the hair straightner. I also looked at close up photos of hair damage if an urge came on, it instantly put me right off. I also started taking proper care of my hair, which was actually curly and gradually starting liking my natural texture.

[kitcatsmeow]

I may look into head wrapping actually, as an alternative to straightening. I'm pretty sure that my hair is straight enough to achieve the same results with a wrap as with a flat iron. So why waste the damage? Plus I could find a nice satin or silk covering to wrap my hair in.. My next payday I might invest in one. But I really want my hair to be healthy so I'm trying to stave off of that flat iron. XP

THIS! Wrapping saved my life. Ok well my hair anyway. :p My hair actually looks better after wrapping than it EVER did using top of the line (expensive as hell) straightening irons. No frizz, no breakage and no coney, coating products needed! I've pretty much perfected it with a few tweeks so feel free to drop me a line and I can give you a few pointers.

Also to whoever suggested braiding..that's another great method! I used to do that before I figured out how to wrap my hair and I still do it on about day 4 or 5 (only wash every 6 days) sometimes if I want a different look.

Good luck but please stay off the iron. I seriously run screaming from dryers and irons now and I used to be an addict. Like I carried a mini purse sized one with me everywhere! :o

[palaeoqueen]

Good luck but please stay off the iron. I seriously run screaming from dryers and irons now and I used to be an addict. Like I carried a mini purse sized one with me everywhere! :o

I'm so glad it's not just me! I was utterly obsessed with straightening my hair and found it really stressful being constantly on watch for the slightest bit of rain or humidity. I feel really free now I've quit the straightening habit.

I started to cut down on heat styling last summer and haven't used heat since December. It was hard going at first (especially last year) but my hair now looks so much better despite all the previous damage.

Stay strong! It'll be worth it.

[torrilin]

When I was growing out heat damage (blow dryer, not flat iron), most of what got me through was more conditioner. Just random conditioner would not do the trick tho. Behentrimonium methosulfate (and other behentrimonium molecules... the bit on the end can change) is a pretty good detangling agent, and a surfactant. So it cleans your hair *and* makes it less tangly. The cleaning part I didn't care about much, but the less tangly was huge. If the first three ingredients were water, cetyl alcohol and behentrimonium methosulfate, I was usually pretty happy.

Your hair probably tangles less than mine. Coarse hair generally does. But heat damage physically alters your hair's structure, and those changes make your hair more tangle prone and more likely to form mats or dreadlocks. So using conditioner that helps minimize tangling will make that part suck less.

The other factor is you're probably somewhat curlier than you're typing yourself, and this sort of conditioner works well for pretty much any hair type. Using more conditioner will make your hair more pliable and easier to work with, so things like hair wrapping and damp bunning will have an easier time smoothing or straightening your hair.

Even if you're sure your hair isn't curly, digging into the stuff that helps curlies can help. A lot of the time I find the conditioners a 4 level curly uses work better for me than ones marketed to "regular" hair.

[Rufflebutt]

When I was growing out heat damage (blow dryer, not flat iron), most of what got me through was more conditioner. Just random conditioner would not do the trick tho. Behentrimonium methosulfate (and other behentrimonium molecules... the bit on the end can change) is a pretty good detangling agent, and a surfactant. So it cleans your hair *and* makes it less tangly. The cleaning part I didn't care about much, but the less tangly was huge. If the first three ingredients were water, cetyl alcohol and behentrimonium methosulfate, I was usually pretty happy.

Your hair probably tangles less than mine. Coarse hair generally does. But heat damage physically alters your hair's structure, and those changes make your hair more tangle prone and more likely to form mats or dreadlocks. So using conditioner that helps minimize tangling will make that part suck less.

The other factor is you're probably somewhat curlier than you're typing yourself, and this sort of conditioner works well for pretty much any hair type. Using more conditioner will make your hair more pliable and easier to work with, so things like hair wrapping and damp bunning will have an easier time smoothing or straightening your hair.

Even if you're sure your hair isn't curly, digging into the stuff that helps curlies can help. A lot of the time I find the conditioners a 4 level curly uses work better for me than ones marketed to "regular" hair.
Actually, my hair has little to no curl in it. It barely has waves but it's wavy enough to look constantly disheveled. Even when I posted pics about my hair texture on here, people would comment saying that my hair is 1b/c at the most.

[hermosamendoza]

I've been getting itchy to straighten my hair too. Especially after getting so many compliments from everyone including my husband about my January pic. I put it up on facebook. And my sept pic is me hair dried slept on damp hair. Hence the wave.

I did a pre shampoo oiling though on Saturday and today Monday I can really see and feel the difference. My dry ends drank the oil up and all my hair is so soft and shiny.

It worth looking into.

[DancingQueen]

Lots of good advice already. I would suggest you put your hair up, maybe just a braid will work. This way, you won't notice the heat damage as much, and it won't resemble a 'dead animal'. :)

ETA: I just read the answer from torrilin, and it is actually a good idea. Curly hair products often have more moisture, and it sounds like your hair could use some. I am only a 2c with some random 3a spirals, but I can really recommend the brand Ganier fructis. Their stuff is amazing, even though I don't use a curly shampoo. I never heard of anyone who didn't like it.

And lastly, I would recommend coconut oil as a pre wash treatment. It is said that it is actually able to penetrate the hair and make it stronger and healthier. Either way, it works amazing for lots of people, also with heat damage. I know it makes my hair less tangly and very soft and shiny. Hope this helped somewhat. :)

ETA2: Sorry for all the edits :) But I just realized that one option is, that you could actually be curlier than you think - the heat damage just ruined the curls. I stopped flat ironing every 2 days when I hit shoulder length, and started to let it air dry naturally. It was a mess at first, but LHC helped my hair get back in shape. Now I can't actually see why I flat ironed in the first place. It did NOT suit my face, and it looks horrible when I do it. Anyway, my point is: I think almost all the heat damage from then are gone - I may have 5 or 10 cm left at the bottom. But some of the new growth, ex. my face framing layers where heat damage is long gone, I actually have some 3a spirals. So it is possible that you are more curly than you think.