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Quixotica
September 7th, 2012, 10:17 PM
Well guys, I've been hanging out here for a long time....I've come and gone and came back again.


Had beautiful BSL virgin hair, chopped it to pixie at the encouragement of a very toxic person in my life. Kept it that way for about 2 - 3 years during a very dysfunctional relationship and when that relationship ended, I played with the idea of letting my hair grow again.


Enter a new relationship (a healthy one this time with the absolute love of my life! ), stability, and my 30s. When DBF and I declared our relationship 'for reals', I vowed to let my 1/4" pixie grow again the way I'd always wanted to - wild, free, and as long as I could get it! I vowed that I would love myself for me and I'd love my hair because it was a part of who I was.


That was a little over 3 years ago, and while my hair isn't virgin anymore (I dye it and *gasp* use a flat iron from time to time), it's almost waist length and lovely. It's lovely not because it's the shiniest hair or because it behaves or because it looks like something in a magazine. It's lovely because whenever I look in the mirror, rake my fingers through it, or braid it, I'm reminded that my new life began when my length did. My crazy hair is a tangible time line of a new life, a new outlook, and a new person.


Don't ever let anyone tell you that your hair is "JUST" hair. Sometimes it's so, so, so much more than that.

:blossom:

sharonluvscats
September 7th, 2012, 10:22 PM
This is SO very true. I used to chop, layer, and dye my hair light blonde in order to please my sb ex-bf. Now, I wear my hair the way I want to and I'm so happy!

Seeshami
September 7th, 2012, 10:25 PM
That's why The Naughty Mess is The Naughty Mess, because he isn't just my hair, he is my best friend and worst enemy. My messiest but best feature.

Quixotica
September 7th, 2012, 10:30 PM
That's why The Naughty Mess is The Naughty Mess, because he isn't just my hair, he is my best friend and worst enemy. My messiest but best feature.

The Naughty Mess - I love it :) :)

Seeshami
September 7th, 2012, 10:41 PM
He says thank you and that I should obviously take a hint. Yes The Naughty Mess is an egotistical megalomaniac

owlathena
September 7th, 2012, 11:10 PM
Its so true! I used to do something drastic to my hair whenever I got stressed out (a break up or a move or something that changed my life). But now when I get stressed out, I don't try to change myself, I'll do something pampering for myself. I think that accepting my hair in its natural state helped me to accept myself. I agree with whoever said that the length of my hair is directly proportionate with my self-confidence. I think its not just a matter of vanity, but because the process has taught me to love myself as I am.

Quixotica
September 8th, 2012, 02:19 PM
He says thank you and that I should obviously take a hint. Yes The Naughty Mess is an egotistical megalomaniac

Hahahaha!!

ravenreed
September 8th, 2012, 02:54 PM
My hair has taken on a life of its own. Twice in the last week, it has reached up and pulled something off a bathroom shelf and broken it. How is that possible? :shocked:


That's why The Naughty Mess is The Naughty Mess, because he isn't just my hair, he is my best friend and worst enemy. My messiest but best feature.

Tota
September 8th, 2012, 02:56 PM
Beautiful and very inspiring post. :flower:


Don't ever let anyone tell you that your hair is "JUST" hair. Sometimes it's so, so, so much more than that.

Yes, yes, yes! I used to believe people who told me that and that I'm silly for wanting it long. No more of that.

gthlvrmx
September 8th, 2012, 03:18 PM
Don't ever let anyone tell you that your hair is "JUST" hair. Sometimes it's so, so, so much more than that.

:blossom:
HOLLA! yes yes and more YES!!!! i cant believe i let myself listen to my friend who when i have a crisis with my hair, tells me "oh god maybe you're just overly paranoid about it and you're over the top about it"
no. no. AND MORE NO. im not being "over the top" im not being "too much" im acting just fine for the situation and i dont need your approval. this is MY HAIR im worrying about and it really shows a lot when you say that because, well you're the one who cant stand her hair and does a lot unhealthy things to her hair and it looks damaged. so i stick my tongue out to you!

my hair, my love, my rules, my happiness. :) i care about my hair a lot and im not gonna let anyone get me down. the thing that gets me down is seeing splits :( more came along when i used effin shampoo. never again will i use shampoo like that, AGAIN. sick of it anyways dries my hair out.

and to think she told me "shampoo cant be that bad" uh yes it is to MY HAIR! yeesh. some people i swear.

thing noted:never listen to that girls advice about hair. i fixed her dandruff problem with help from LHC but of course she wont listen to anything else and thinks using kitchen stuff is yucky-though she wont say it, she just stays the hell away from ACV XD too bad for her.

she cut her hair in anger and frustrating, i grew mine out with love and patience :)

loved this message thanks for writing it! :D sometimes i feel the pressure from others around thinking "oh its just hair its nothing" but uh it really means something TO ME. and in the end, thats all that matters :)

millyaulait
September 8th, 2012, 03:24 PM
This is such a lovely post. :flower:

So happy you're both happy with your hair & your relationship!

rosance
September 17th, 2012, 02:45 AM
Aww this almost made me cry :wail: I am proud for you and your hair. You are an inspiration in the fact that no matter what you think of it, your hair will always be there waiting for you to accept it. :blossom:

RubyTuesday
September 17th, 2012, 03:59 AM
Lovely! It is wonderful that you are happy again.

I too feel happiest when my hair is long. It is not for narcissistic, vain reasons (although I do think I look more attractive), but because it makes me feel more confident and secure. Maybe it makes me think of happy times too.

I cut my hair short during a very very unhappy period of my life. I am now growing it out. Not only does short hair not suit me, but it reminds me of a lot of unwanted feelings every time I look in the mirror or run my hand through my hair. I want to forget all of those things and not be reminded. I want to start a new chapter.

I am aiming for virgin hair now (I was very blonde for a long while and had damaged hair) and want to have soft and silky hair that makes me smile.

As women, our hair is so tied up with our sense of self. It is hugely significant. No, it is not just hair, it is our confidence and personality and mood.

I no longer care who says that I should not have long hair at my age, I am going to have hair that makes me happy :)

Othala
September 17th, 2012, 04:24 AM
Don't ever let anyone tell you that your hair is "JUST" hair. Sometimes it's so, so, so much more than that.


Thank you so much for writing the above and describing what happened to you.

It means lot.

Kiwiwi
September 17th, 2012, 06:20 AM
Aww, good for you! I am really glad you are now in a good place!

And I have the same thing with my hair. My length represents the time I've been without my father. I had it cut into a super short pixie just before he passed away 3 years ago. So to me my hair length is also something special, much more than just hair/length...

alyanna
September 17th, 2012, 06:47 AM
I love your post.

Congratulations on this realization and thank you so much for sharing.

twoLs118
September 17th, 2012, 08:26 AM
Aww what a great feeling!!! Glad you found the love of your life & that you have finally grown out your hair!!