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From a stylists' perspective
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Being a stylist, I have a unique perspective on subjects often discussed here at TLHC. Here's some thoughts/advice from that perspective on some things that often come up....
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This will be pretty across the board, which is why I placed it under miscellaneous articles. There are a lot of subjects that have come up during my time here that I can give my opinion/perspective on. Please remember that I am only human; as such, I do make mistakes so please don't take what I say as gospel....there are many variables into hair and since I can't see everyone's hair irl, these are general guidelines.
CONSUMER VS STYLIST RESPONSIBILITY
Anytime you are getting a service done from a stylist, it should be your wishes that are met. We stylists offer you our services....and imo are not doing our job if we don't meet your expectations. That's not to mean that we don't make mistakes occasionally, but part of our responsibility is to ask plenty of questions to be sure we are doing what you wish. A good stylist will SHOW you how much they plan on taking off so that you can approve it. If they do not ask enough questions and give a good enough consultation like that, then possibly you should look elsewhere.
That said, it is your responsibility as a consumer to not be afraid to speak up. If you think we're planning on taking too much, tell us. Tell us if we're taking too little. Tell us if you want something changed. Give us your ideas as descriptively as possible. Keep in mind that one thing to you might mean another to us. Pictures are always good!!! As a stylist, as long as my client speaks up I don't mind changing something. It's when someone says it looks great and they're satisfied when they are not and THEN they come back that I get frustrated.
As a stylist I tend to err on the side of caution, and as a stylist and a manager I ALWAYS err on the side of customer service. I've had far more people come back and say "you didn't take enough off" than "you took too much".
HOW TO TALK TO YOUR STYLIST:
In order to get what you want, you need to be descriptive. Show with your hand how much or how little you want off. Give the stylist your perspective on color if you're getting it done, such as what is gold to you and what is caramel, etc. Pictures are good for color consultations as well. The more questions your stylist asks, the better off you'll be. I'd rather make someone mad at me for asking one more time to clarify than do something wrong and them be angry because it wasn't what they wanted. By the same token, the more you describe the better off you are. Your stylist should repeat back in their own words what you have said to be sure you're on the same page. If you've found someone that does this then CONGRATULATIONS!!!!  Lucky you!!!!!!
Anytime two people communicate there are many opportunities for miscommunications to occur. This is very true in a consultation for any hair service. And PLEASE remember that your stylist has feelings too....the nicer and more polite you are the better the chance that feelings won't be hurt unneccesarily.
Some things people forget to discuss with a stylist:
What products they use at home, what chemical services they've had recently or not so recently (keeping in mind that as longhaireds, a chemical service we had done YEARS AGO is probably still on your hair since long hair is old hair!!!!!), if you've done henna or natural things such as that, any medications that you may be on, if you've recently had surgery (since anesthesia can greatly affect how a chemical service turns out), your goals for your hair, any concerns you may have such as shedding, dry scalp, etc. It's very easy to get into the conversation during a service and forget any number of things.
MYTH VS REALITY:
Oh boy are there some doozies....
1. By cutting every 6-8 weeks your hair will grow faster.
This is simply NOT TRUE. Sorry but if you cut it it's gone. Your hair grows from the follicle, and cutting will not speed that rate up. What it WILL do is keep the ends from splitting up the shaft. I have clients ask me all the time how often they should get their hair trimmed and my answer is always the same: If you feel your ends and they are dry and crunchy, and you get regular tangles, then by all means trim. But otherwise, leave it alone. And yes, I'm sure if my boss saw this she'd FREAK but I get just as much repeat business by being honest with my clients and I'd rather make my clients happy.
2. Split ends can be fixed without trimming.
Anything you use to try to mend a split will ONLY BE TEMPORARY. This is why so many people have such good success here with S & D's....they're getting rid of splits but not losing length. And yes, your split ends will travel if you don't take care of them.
3. Hair grows faster on different parts of your head.
Believe it or not this is true. Everyone has areas of their hair that grows faster. Your hair isn't all the same texture either....some areas may be curlier/straighter than others. And it's the shape of the follicle that causes that texture, believe it or not.
4. Occasionally you should switch out shampoos/conditioners so your hair doesn't get used to one thing.
While this isn't necessarily true, if your hair doesn't mind it (like mine) then by all means feel free.
5. Hair should be washed daily.
Hmmm....tell that to all the LHC'ers that have GORGEOUS hair that only wash once a week or less. Although for most people, 2-3 times a week is plenty. That's all I do...
6. Brushing your hair is good or bad for it.
This varies....if your hair can stand up to it and you enjoy it then fine. But don't feel like you HAVE to.
7. Plucking out grays means 2 will come in it's place.
If this were true then everyone would be plucking grays and getting heads FULL of hair from it.
A STYLISTS PERSPECTIVE ON GENTLE TREATMENT OF LONG HAIR
This may surprise you.
I ascribe to a regimine atm of benign neglect. I only wash 2-3 times a week, I don't comb every day, I don't brush every day. I use my fingers and hands more than any other tool for styling. I don't use any heat, other than the very occasional blow dry when I have to wash on a work day, and even then I use as low heat as I can for as little time as I can. VERY occasionally I'll do a curling iron style or a flat iron style on my hair. 9 days out of 10 (though recently it's more like 10 out of 10) my hair is up in an updo, even at work.
I'll be completely honest with you: Most of what I know about long hair care I learned here at the LHC. Seriously. Take a look at the pictures of the women/men with ankle length hair and tell me they aren't doing SOMETHING right. The point being, long hair is OLD hair. The longer it is the older it is, since it took time to get there. Treating your hair like old lace and being very careful with it by using wide toothed combs with no seams (in a variety of materials like wood and horn), finding brushes that have no seams on the quills, and putting it up and forgetting about it all help to care for your hair gently. Which brings me to:
PRODUCTS: DRUG STORE VS SALON VS NATURAL THINGS
There are a variety of products out there that can help you to care for your hair gently. (Let's hope my boss doesn't read this too) And there are drug store products out there that are just as good for your hair, but I will say they are fewer and farther between. I'd rather see someone use Tresseme' or Aussie than Pantene any day. Pantene is nothing more than water and wax. Before I went into the business I used to use Thermasilk. My stylist at the time said my hair was one of the healthiest heads of hair she'd seen, and my hair was waist length. The key is learning ingredients. You should know which ingredients are good, which are not so good, which cause you sensitivities (which are more than not for me), which are emolients, which are humectants, which are protein. The main way of learning is to start reading the ingredients lists when you buy!!! Salon does not necessarily equal better, nor does drug store necessarily equal worse. And while we are on this subject, natural things can do just as much good. Deep treatments of coconut oil work well, and that's natural. Other oils work well, and they're natural. If my employees and the other managers knew what I use on my hair they'd probably FREAK. But it works for me, and keeping chemicals off my head allows me to stay in the business. As long as the chemicals don't touch my head, I can put them on the peoples' heads!!
On the subject of deep treatments (which most longhaireds should do since their hair is old) if you are going to do a protein treatment then ALWAYS follow with moisture. ALWAYS. In my experience this keeps from getting crunchy hair. And learn to listen to your hair, it will let you know what it needs. Some of us do deep treatments 2x a week, some only 1x a month or less.
CUTTING YOUR OWN HAIR
I got lots of questions on my poll about this article about cutting in layers. I'm going to be totally honest here, if you think there is a way to cut layers in your own hair you'll be disappointed. There's just NO WAY I KNOW OF that is reliable to do so. I don't even cut my own layers. I know I'll botch it. The only method I know of for doing your own layers is the ol' ponytail method, and it's too risky and there are WAY too many opportunities for a chop job doing it. Trust me, I've seen too many people come in for me to fix their layers after they tried that very method. You can't see the back of your own head. It just doesn't work. And as far as them not interfering with updos (sticky outy bits anyone???) they almost always will. I struggle with that myself. And the very nature of layering is such that it will show up, at least some. So if you don't want them to show, don't get them. Even very excellently blended layers will show up some.
That said, Feye's method of trimming hemlines is THE BEST METHOD OF SELF TRIMMING I HAVE FOUND. When I trim my own hemline I do this as well. It does better than anything I've ever learned in hairschool or out, at least for self trimming. And since there's already an article on it I won't elaborate. Just know IT DOES WORK.
If you want more volume, you're gonna need layers. If your hair is one length the extra weight of the hair isn't usually going to be enough to give you lift. However, everyone's hair is different.
Bangs or fringe are different. Even a little bit of a side fringe or angle should be ok to do by yourself, but you can see your front better than your back LOL. So here are a few tips....
1. Bangs should go only from the tip of the eyebrow to the tip of the eyebrow. Any further and you are actually cutting into the sides of your hair. So don't go beyond them.
2. Clip back ANYTHING YOU DON'T WANT CUT. If you don't want it cut make sure you can't touch it! Take all the time you need to section out properly what you want to cut prior to doing so.
3. The old adage of carpenters "Measure twice cut once" can apply here too!!!!!! Be very careful, and err on the side of caution. You can always take more off.
4. Point cutting into the hair with the tips of the scissors instead of blunt cutting straight with them will give some added texture and keep the line of the bang from looking straight. Be careful here too though.
5. If you want the option of pulling the fringe on your side angle (not the bang) back, don't start ANY SHORTER THAN YOUR CHIN, with your shoulders a more cautious area to begin depending on the length of your hair.
6. Cut as little at a time as possible to be cautious of error.
COWLICKS: HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM
Everyone with very few exceptions have cowlicks. All that causes a cowlick is the direction the hair grows in (who knew that we'd have so much problem with how our hair grows into our heads????) Your best bet is always to WORK WITH IT, not fight it. If you fight it your hair will win. It's the law of hair. Seriously. Happens every time.
Some cowlicks need more length to disguise it, some need less length. It depends on the cowlick itself. Again, I can't see everyone irl, so I can't judge about individuals. Chances are, you'll have to be patient with it and wait until you have more length. I have a HUGE whirlygig in the back at my crown that DRIVES ME INSANE at shorter lengths. Now it's not so bad.
ROLLERSETS AND OTHER STYLING HINTS
I got some q's about how to do a rollerset with large magnetic rollers to get volume. Rollersets are AWESOME for adding volume in the top especially. Start with wet/damp hair, and get a good gel or setting lotion. Section off your hair and start to wrap. If you want volume, going against the direction of growth (this is why flipping your head when you blowdry works) always helps. The smaller the section the less time to dry, and the more volume usually. Allow it to air dry or sit under a hood dryer, take down, and shake out with your fingers. It's that easy....Also when you're rolling, be sure that the clip goes in at the root of the hair. This makes sure they stay in place. An easy way to be sure you're doing this is to put the clippie in so it's laying on your scalp. Wrapping the crown back and the top down gives good lift.
I have to say again.....most of the stuff that I know about long hair care in particular, including updos (other than curled updos), stick and fork styles, etc, I learned here. While I might know some different things in theory, the ladies here who have been caring for their long hair longer than I have know more about long hair. Don't be afraid to try something just because it sounds unconventional. It may just work!!!!!
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