Should I give her a "hair talk"?

[Nedertane]

So my older sister is gorgeous and has lovely hair to begin with, let's establish that . It's APL, naturally a dark brown that gets these crazy-awesome deep red highlights that she has only started to appreciate recently, is of medium thickness, and probably has a standard ii thickness, though I always thought it was thicker (ii/iii or maybe even iii by LHC standards).

That is, until I got a look at/feel for her hair the other day. The roots and what I could feel on the shaft were very, very dry, even though I know she doesn't wash every day (for those of you wondering, she didn't ask me to look at it, she tried to fall asleep on me one night ). The next day, she had her hair in a ponytail, and the circumference looked even thinner than mine, like i/ii or even i thickness (to be fair though, she has some short layers that didn't make it into the holder). It probably sounds mean, but I guess I can't be that surprised, since she uses heat (as in blowfrying AND curling/straightening irons) and/or teasing almost every day. She also dyes it fairly frequently, with standard salon dyes, which I'm sure you know mean developers.

Why am I telling you this? Well, she doesn't say this constantly, but every so often, I'll hear her say to me "my hair just does not grow!" or "your hair is so nice and long, it's like a perfect length, why won't mine grow like yours?" heh, after which she'll tell me to get more highlights . In all seriousness, though, after seeing what condition her hair is really in I got a bit concerned; I had always envied her for having thicker hair, but it shocked me to see that it might not be so thick anymore. I love my sister, and she has been working through other body image issues, and if she really wants to have longer hair, I want to try to help her if I can. After all, she is starting to realize that tanning may be more harmful than she thought, so maybe there's hope.

BUT, I feel like if I tried to tell her how she "should" treat her hair (no heat, no teasing, etc), then I'd be pushing my ideas on her, especially since I know she likes to style her hair that way, and that's how she thinks it looks good.


-sigh- Wow, what an LHC-er I am, wanting to have an "intervention" for someone else's hair! I'm torn about it though. What do you guys think.?

[holothuroidea]

Well it sounds to me like she is inviting the conversation. Next time she compliments you on your hair just tell her what you do, or you can say "Oh I think your hair would be just as long as mine if you stopped heat styling, I know a lot of really fun ways to style hair without heat do you want to try them some time?"

I think if she invites the advice by saying, "I wish my hair could be as long as yours..." then you can give her whatever advice you feel is appropriate.

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it, though. It's not an intervention, it's just hair advice.

[Nedertane]

Lol, well, I use the word "intervention" for lack of anything better.

[Amber_Maiden]

Sounds like she is open to talk about it. I would print out some articles for her about how damaging chemical dyes and heat styling can be, if I were you.

[darklyndsea]

Just don't forget the "but it's your hair, so if you're happier with your current styling regime, then I'm happy for you" part of the conversation. Because we all know that sometimes people can take advice as an attack if it isn't made explicitly clear that it's not an order to do it a certain way, just information about a different way to do things.

[Arya]

Why not make her up a basket of hair goodies?
She couldn't possibly be offended by that.

Coconut oil, a TT or a BB, catnip in a cute little satchet, aloe vera gel, some non-metal hair ties, and some recipes, updo diagrams, and LHC hair facts printed on cute little booklets?

Ooh, now I'm thinking of my own friends and family...ideas ideas!

[Nedertane]

Why not make her up a basket of hair goodies?
She couldn't possibly be offended by that.

Coconut oil, a TT or a BB, catnip in a cute little satchet, aloe vera gel, some non-metal hair ties, and some recipes, updo diagrams, and LHC hair facts printed on cute little booklets?

Ooh, now I'm thinking of my own friends and family...ideas ideas!

This is actually pretty awesome.

[Bunnysaur]

I've been wondering about giving my roommate a "hair talk" too, her hair is exactly like you described your sister's, just longer than mine, and instead of wishing her hair would grow she compliments how healthy mine looks...

Why not make her up a basket of hair goodies?
She couldn't possibly be offended by that.

Coconut oil, a TT or a BB, catnip in a cute little satchet, aloe vera gel, some non-metal hair ties, and some recipes, updo diagrams, and LHC hair facts printed on cute little booklets?

Ooh, now I'm thinking of my own friends and family...ideas ideas!

Ooh! Good idea! Those items might be a little hypocritical coming from me, I do use a BBB and some oils, but other than that it's cheapie Suave shampoo and stuff :/

[aldasbeke]

My sister abuses her hair too and I think it's thinner than mine. I have no qualms about giving advice though. I don't want her to make the same mistakes I did and so I will damn well tell her what I know! However, she's 16 and she's gonna do what she pleases: straightening everyday, extensions, black hair dye...

It does seem like your sister is open to tips though and her comments might be a subtle way of saying that she's worried about the condition of her own hair because maybe she has noticed it.

[PrincessBob]

If she has body image issues, do you think her hair may be thinning due to stress or diet change? Just a thought. I really love the gift basket idea. You can use cheapo shampoo and still take great care of your hair. I know a lot of us do it.
But, getting her some hair-positive gifts as noted won't go amiss, particularly if you include cool heat free styling tips and a Tangle Teezer.