Does anyone ever try to discourage you?

[Maraz]

My family, boyfriend and my two best friend (two girls) don't mind my hair goals at all. My two friends keep their hair between BSL and waist , while my parents don't care what I do as long as it doesn't hurt anyone.

But other girls at college who are "acquaintances" are much crueler in very subtle ways. For example, "Your hair is dead. It can't look pretty long; it's dead" and my favorite "Your blonde hair long would just overwhelm your face and make it look ugly."

Why so catty? It really helps me to know that LHC women are kinder and more understanding!

Since women are compelled to compete for male attention largely via appearance, I wonder if there are some not so nice subconscious motivations for trying to influence other women to conform to a certain type of hairstyle.

In many cultures, how you wore your hair denoted whether you were single or married, in other words, available or taken, and I can't think of one in which long, loose hair was reserved for married women while unmarried women wore their hair short.

That fits with the complaints some middle aged and older women are getting about being too old to wear their hair long. We absorb all sorts of useful and useless debris from our societies, not just current, but traditional views, as well.

[lacefrost]

Since women are compelled to compete for male attention largely via appearance, I wonder if there are some not so nice subconscious motivations for trying to influence other women to conform to a certain type of hairstyle.

In many cultures, how you wore your hair denoted whether you were single or married, in other words, available or taken, and I can't think of one in which long, loose hair was reserved for married women while unmarried women wore their hair short.

That fits with the complaints some middle aged and older women are getting about being too old to wear their hair long. We absorb all sorts of useful and useless debris from our societies, not just current, but traditional views, as well.

I think what you said here is very interesting and probably more true than we know.

[Kristin]

My sister discourages me all the time. She tells me my hair is too long, looks like a cape, and looks "too Kardashian." However, she also tells me that she talks about how long and well-cared-for my hair is when she goes to the salon. I really don't know what her deal is, but I have no intention to chop my hair at the moment.

[PaganPriestess]

My grandmother has always cut my hair my entire life. She hates my ends. Every time she trims she wants to take 5-6" off. I'm always being told I need a haircut. Did I mention she has extremely short hair? lol I have always just let her trim it up, and she knows not to take *too much* off or it will result in my crying & bitching about how "short" my hair is. It's really about time for another trim, but I am tempted to just let it grow & not trim it for a good long while to see how it looks. I am starting to think she just doesn't like it long because it's harder for her to cut. Well, not cutting it at all will make that easier for her LOL

[Fairytale]

Its funny that this thread come up today my mother told me yesterday that long hair makes women look older.

That is after I told her that I am growing out my hair .

She colors her hair and blow dry and flat irons , also cuts in layers she says that it looks fresh and modern (young!)

I told her I strongly disagree it depends how you wear it and take care of it that makes the women look good .

So yes I did momentarly got discouraged but I got back on my horse and will keep riding on my long hair journey!!!

[uptosomeone]

No, I've fortunately not ever had any discouraging comments unless this situation counts:

Me: I'm growing my hair out to my waist...
Friend: -gasps in excitement-
Me: ...and then I'm cutting a very sharp, very blunt angle in it from right to left!
Friend: -stunned, disbelieving silence at that hair horror-

That encouraged me though, because if I could make people think about being daring and challenging the norms just be seeing my hair, I would be happy.

[Bantam]

Since women are compelled to compete for male attention largely via appearance, I wonder if there are some not so nice subconscious motivations for trying to influence other women to conform to a certain type of hairstyle.

Yup, that's pretty much what I thought.

In many cultures, how you wore your hair denoted whether you were single or married, in other words, available or taken, and I can't think of one in which long, loose hair was reserved for married women while unmarried women wore their hair short.

That fits with the complaints some middle aged and older women are getting about being too old to wear their hair long. We absorb all sorts of useful and useless debris from our societies, not just current, but traditional views, as well.

Elizabeth I was supposed to have worn her long hair loose on her accession to the throne as a statement of her virginity. Married women were supposed to wear their hair up. I imagine that this was really because men were attracted to long, healthy hair and would therefore not have wanted their wives attracting too much male attention. Women who were already married and had to wear their hair up might indeed be jealous of not being able to show off their beautiful hair like all the young maidens their husbands liked to eye up!

Of course, wearing your hair loose also served as a handy indicator for potential courtship... a bit like saying "I am available and want a man!" without sounding like a whore and getting burned at the stake, drowned, or stoned to death for being a witch or something! (Only witches could be that alluring.)

[ebba]

my hair is only at APL and my boyfriend keeps 'encouraging me" to cut it super short. He loves really short, dark hair (think Alice from twilight) and says he hates long hair and that it is gross. i want waist length hair and it is definatly discouraging

[Amelia]

The only person that openly tries to get me to cut my hair is my father. I've be listening to all sorts of jokes, little comments and dissing from him for two, going three years, since i decided to have long hair.

I don't like conflit, so most of the time, i'll shut up or ignore whatever is being said. The other night, on the phone, my lid jumped. I'm going home for Christmas and i asked my father to be so kind as to arrange a few appointments for me. He promptly asked if he should also called the hairdresser. I said no. he went on to call my hair ugly, too long, that it doesn't suit me etc. All of the sudden, i just felt this wave of anger rise in me. I told him, very calmly that
A) it's my hair
B)my hair is at its healthiest
C)my ends are in such good condition that I don't need a trim (last was in February)
D)my hair is shiny
E) i know so many ways of using my hair up, it's never boring
F)it's MY HAIR!

If any of these things weren't true i could even envisioned why he could be telling me to cut it, but no. I said this was the last time we were discussing my hair and that i didn't want to hear anything more about it, as it is *my* hair.
No one else has any kind of issue with it. My SO loves my hair, my friends just want to see me happy, and if that goes through really long hair, then be it.

Ever since, my father has restrain himself. I wonder how many times he has bitten his own tongue so far

[Bantam]

Now that I think about it, two of my grandparents would encourage me to wear it up, but they never told me to cut it. My dad's dad used to threaten me with a pair of scissors sometimes and say that he'd like to "CUT IT ALL OFF!" but he was always teasing people and I never took it seriously.