Does anyone ever try to discourage you?

[Sisgoldenhair65]

I just had the most depressing and upsetting convo about my hair with my 18 yr old DD. She is in cosmetology school and we got to talking about my hair, of course. She said not to let it grow long because I will look like an old hippie lady!! In fact she begged me to get a "style" instead of letting it just "hang there". I just want to know why is it when people my age grow our hair we are hippies? I have nothing against hippies. It's just that I was born too late and I can't relate. I'm more of a baby boomer. But the thing that got me the most was "old". Why would long hair age me? I don't get this at all. Then she asked why I'm growing when it's up all the time? She really expressed her opposition to my long hair quest and not in a very nice way.

[ArienEllariel]

Whenever I see an older lady (read that as over 40) with long hair it makes me so happy. Bonus points if they're starting to grey and don't care. So pretty!

No one has really discouraged me from growing my hair though my dad has discouraged me from dying it. I think he just doesn't want to see me end up unhappy with how it turns out. I'm pretty confident that it'll be ok though. I'm not going to go overboard with it or anything. I just want Rapunzel hair.

I would like to note that whenever I visit a salon, the people working there have a way of making me feel a little inferior about my hair. I know it's long and the ends are somewhat damaged from past abuse but it isn't that bad. Honestly. I'm not saying that people are turning their noses up at my hair, just that I get this vibe like I'm an outsider cause I don't constantly cut or highlight my hair. Idk... maybe it's just me.

[lolot]

not everybody like things that are different in fact the mayority would not approve just the ones that have that taste, for example there are people that dislike people with a lot of tattoos but those people that have lots of them like them and find them attractive, so is for you to decide to live in the norm or not

[Five of Five]

I just had the most depressing and upsetting convo about my hair with my 18 yr old DD. She is in cosmetology school and we got to talking about my hair, of course. She said not to let it grow long because I will look like an old hippie lady!! In fact she begged me to get a "style" instead of letting it just "hang there". I just want to know why is it when people my age grow our hair we are hippies? I have nothing against hippies. It's just that I was born too late and I can't relate. I'm more of a baby boomer. But the thing that got me the most was "old". Why would long hair age me? I don't get this at all. Then she asked why I'm growing when it's up all the time? She really expressed her opposition to my long hair quest and not in a very nice way.

I think that, with anything which is unusual or unconventional, many people tend to associate it with one homogenous group in order to make sense of it.

You and your hair are really beautiful. I hope that in a few years mine will look something like yours. I think that the "old" comment was just because there is a vaguely misogynistic expectation in society that past a certain age, women shouldn't be allowed to draw attention to their beauty. Long hair, and yours in particular, is very eye-catching. While long hair doesn't make you look older (quite the opposite in my opinion) it may draw the attention of people who think that you are older than people who are 'supposed' to have long hair. Your daughter may have been trying to protect you from people who might stereotype you in this way.

Fortunately, most people have been really supportive of my goal for classic length hair, even if they don't like long hair themselves. I have had a few comments about needing to get a proper style, or how I looked better with short hair, but these comments were phrased as suggestions rather than absolute truths, so I didn't find it discouraging.

[Sisgoldenhair65]

I think that, with anything which is unusual or unconventional, many people tend to associate it with one homogenous group in order to make sense of it.

You and your hair are really beautiful. I hope that in a few years mine will look something like yours. I think that the "old" comment was just because there is a vaguely misogynistic expectation in society that past a certain age, women shouldn't be allowed to draw attention to their beauty. Long hair, and yours in particular, is very eye-catching. While long hair doesn't make you look older (quite the opposite in my opinion) it may draw the attention of people who think that you are older than people who are 'supposed' to have long hair. Your daughter may have been trying to protect you from people who might stereotype you in this way.

Fortunately, most people have been really supportive of my goal for classic length hair, even if they don't like long hair themselves. I have had a few comments about needing to get a proper style, or how I looked better with short hair, but these comments were phrased as suggestions rather than absolute truths, so I didn't find it discouraging.

Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words!! I can really use them right now. Kids really have a way of making you feel old and washed up. Funny, a week or so ago I had a similar convo with my 18 yr old stepson. He commented that my hair was getting long and I told him I was growing to classic (I showed him where that is) and he said, "Oh, like a hippie lady?". I was surprised to hear that since I have no idea how he would even know what a hippie is being 18. I calmly responded that I just want pretty hair, it has nothing to do with being a hippie.

I see you are new here and at 27 posts. Welcome and congrats in reaching the first 25 posts!! Good luck on your quest for classic. I'm sure it will be beautiful!

[ArienEllariel]

Sisgoldenhair- just take the hippie comments in stride. I'd take it as a compliment

[kidari]

It's understandable that most people would think hair that is long enough to sit on is too much. It doesn't matter what they think unless it bothers you what they think. I think you should do what makes you happy. Most of the time your hair is probably up anyway and long hair with little to no layers look amazing in updos. I was one of those people who had a personal opinion that hair longer that hip is too much, but I have come around and changed my opinion on it. The other day I was talking to my husband saying wouldn't it be awesome if my hair was all one length and long enough to cover my body like a curtain if I were to walk around naked in the house?! He thought I was crazy and thought it would be strange but if it makes me happy and I want to grow it that long I could if I wanted to. My mom always says BSL is the longest acceptable length and on me APL looks best. I only had to listen to her when I was a child. Now as an adult I can do what I want.

[Sisgoldenhair65]

Sisgoldenhair- just take the hippie comments in stride. I'd take it as a compliment

I think to most teens a hippie is just "an old person with long hair". They don't truly grasp the generation and what the real hippies stood for. I'm not upset at the reference it's just that it's their way of saying I'm old. It's just interesting that both kids made the same comment unrelated.

On a positive note, my DH loves my hair long and can't wait till I get to classic!

[heidi w.]

This is a time to educate your dear daughter. If she's invoking Hippie stuff, then she needs a whole lot more info than they merely took a boatload of drugs. Most hippies were not druggies; the worst they did was Marijuana. Then there's the subset that did acid.

But the Hippie movement has a long history, and brought us awareness about natural childbirth, food choices, how food is grown in our US, they were against the Vietnam War and actively protested. Their actions influenced a nation. While the Vietnam Vets came home to absolute chaos and disrespect of their effort, eventually these guys have been applauded. Some very smart people are born out of the hippie movement, and inside the Hippie Movement. They brought us art, culture, music. Lots of bands: Jefferson Airplane, the Beat Movement (Jack Kerouac) and more.

There's not much to be ashamed of within the Hippie Movement and its undertones still flow in some localities such as Seattle, Washington; San Francisco, California and areas such as that.

I am the daughter of a Hippie Mother, and although my mother and I don't get along it's for different reasons. I learned how to put my trash in a garbage can; how to use gray water (which wasn't a fun lesson, but I learned); how to wash my own dishes vs. a dishwasher doing the work; how to plant, grow and harvest a vegetable garden; how to sew my own clothes (which I don't do anymore, but I could if I wanted or needed) and other items. I learned how to cook; how to put oil in a car and lots of other stuff, such as how to live outdoors. I'm not excellent at it, but I know how, at least (which has come in handy a few times in my life).

Today's kids just sometimes don't know what they say. I guess I'm an old fart with a load of hair that has no style.

She's young, and in school to be a professional beauty person. Lesson #1, if you want a client and want to influence a change, don't put them down. That's not how you catch flies. It's done with honey. I know, I've done it, and it does work!! About the same timespan as a sticky roll of film to catch a fly. LOL

It takes time for kids to learn that we're all different and it's a good idea to just accept people as they are. Life is so much easier that way.

heidi w.

[heidi w.]

Just remember the source. She'll come to a different opinion soon. She's just all eager to have someone who will let her do what she wants with your hair. That's all. And have her google Wikipedia Hippie Movement, and actually read it. She shows her non-education on the subject by associating long hair with hippies, although it's a relevent association. But the hair meant something.

They didn't have long hair cause they simply didn't know other hair style options were available to them.

heidi w.