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Thread: Disrespecting LHC and my hair!

  1. #1
    Member Foxy_Booker's Avatar
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    Default Disrespecting LHC and my hair!

    Sometimes I hate my sister. She was born with dead straight, incredibly thick dark brown hair and I had dirty blonde, wavy fine hair. She used to have her hair very long but it is short now. She's one of those who doesn't care at all about hair and does whatever she wants to hers and can't understand why I try so hard and put oils in my hair etc. because "I don't have nice hair" so she can't understand why I bother.

    I don't have the best hair but its medium thickness, hers is just sooo much thicker.

    And I get a decent amount of compliments on my hair which makes me happy so naturally when someone compliments my hair I tell my mom but this seems to make my sister angry so she will make a nasty remark or something because "her hair is far superior to mine".

    Now I wouldn't mind that her hair is thicker than mine and all that, its the fact that she rubs it in my face and makes me feel horrible about it that makes me angry. She doesn't do it on purpose, we have a really close relationship, she just doesn't realize when she's being incredibly rude. For instance, she will grab my pony tail and make a comment like" so thin" and then she'll make me feel hers for comparison. Or like when my oldest sister who is a hair dresser cut our hair she made a deal about how having her bangs trimmed produced more hair than having my ends trimmed, another, thin hair jab.

    Just a few minutes ago I was laptoping in the kitchen and I proudly showed off my LHC profile with my family around because I told them about joining, and of course my sister had to make her comment.

    She said she didn't understand the reason why people have a long hair community because growing long hair is easy and all she would have to do is not cut it, then she proceeded to show how long her hair is. (because she's growing it out but its only to shoulder now so I don't understand her jab). I told her its not simple for everyone and so we share tips and generally just talk about long hair because we all like it here. Ughhh I can here her stupid voice in my head, "they act like growing hair is hard"

    Its just so frustrating because it makes me want to cut my hair and have short hair like she thinks would look good on me which is so discouraging. It makes me angrier that now that I have joined LHC and am getting into it and she makes fun of that too.

    Sorry for the rant. But if anyone has similar stories or anything to add, I would like to hear.

  2. #2
    Member julierockhead's Avatar
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    Default Re: Disrespecting LHC and my hair!

    Feh. Let her be flippant and let her compete with you over hair (that is what she is doing). When she is being a b*tch about hair, smile sweetly and tell her her hair is just fine in a very reassuring way, as if she had said she was worried about it. It will make her paranoid lol. Her behavior and comments reveal plainly she is threatened by you, and that gorgeous waist length mane you have that I want someday!

    The best revenge is better hair - eventually with all the pampering you are going to be doing, your hair is going to shine like the sun and be fabulous, I don't care how great her hair is, yours will look better because it's taken care of.

    Plus, you have TLHC. Your length is enough to do all kinds of long hair styles and braids and updos that she can't do...so look around and start doing some. Get some awesome hairtoys, make your long hair your signature!
    Last edited by julierockhead; September 18th, 2011 at 10:46 AM.
    Guardian Julia of the Rock, Shaman of Animism in the Order of the Long Haired Knights

  3. #3
    Member Madora's Avatar
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    Default Re: Disrespecting LHC and my hair!

    Sounds like your sister has an acute case of "oneupsmanship". She speaks without thinking, unaware of what she says is hurtful.

    And I laughed at her observation that growing hair is easy. Of course it is! Everyone can grow hair. It's growing healthy, beautiful, long hair that is HARD. She apparently doesn't understand that and couldn't care less.

    Just stick to your guns and you'll have healthy, beautiful, well cared for hair..while your sister will not. Some people just don't understand why we long haired folks take such pains to make our hair the best we can. Let 'em murder their hair. We know better!

  4. #4
    Member Sweet_Decadence's Avatar
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    Default Re: Disrespecting LHC and my hair!

    Your sister sounds just plain malicious! In a situation like that I'd feel inclined to to just say stuff along the lines of "Oh really? Thats nice." in the most uninterested tone possible, without even distracting yourself from what you're doing, anytime she starts talking about hair.

    I wouldn't listen to your sister about cutting your hair unless that is what you want. She seems to be quite jealous of it and I don't personally feel it is innocently motivated considering how you say she reacts when you talk about the compliments you get.

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    Uninspired jasper's Avatar
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    Default Re: Disrespecting LHC and my hair!

    Siblings. Bah. That bit about you not having nice hair so why are you even trying is an amazingly thoughtless and insensitive comment! (and dead wrong, going by your avatar) Save that one up so you can remind her later in life, when you tell her how you love your wonderful mature kind sister, what a thoughtless young lady she used to be!

    I don't have a sister, but my brother used to disparage my hair. We were very light blondes as little kids. He has always kept a lighter, more sunny blonde head of hair while mine darkened- I won't call it dirty blonde, but he would call it dishwater. He managed to gloat over this quite a bit when a teenager and kept it up through our early adulthood. Well, he's facing male balding and his blonde tresses are so thin he wears a hat constantly. I just smile to myself and don't give him any flack.
    Last edited by jasper; September 18th, 2011 at 10:49 AM.

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    Member greentealeaf's Avatar
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    Default Re: Disrespecting LHC and my hair!

    Well said Madora! DH and I know a couple that loves to one-up people, not on purpose I don't think, but it can get rather tiring and irritating to be around. I just have to try and remember that everyone is different and sometimes they really don't know what they are doing. And if they are doing it on purpose or from a mean place, don't let it show that it bothers you. Your hair looks beautiful from your picture and so healthy and SHINY!

    Growing back to waist after cutting to shoulder in Aug 2011.

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    Ocean Soul Rosetta's Avatar
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    Default Re: Disrespecting LHC and my hair!

    Quote Originally Posted by Madora View Post
    She speaks without thinking, unaware of what she says is hurtful.
    Yeah, your sister reminds me so much of my mother... Not specifically hair-wise but in general. She often dishes out these hurtful comments (her opinions about my life, etc.) and if I tell her that something she has said was hurtful, she always tells me it's my fault for taking it in such a negative way, "seems one can't really say anything to you then", etc...

    So unfortunately I don't have much advice to offer, but like you I'm very interested to hear of any strategies how to deal with this kind of person/situation...
    "Life is not, as we are taught, a matter of seeking answers, but rather learning which are the questions we should ask." (K. Mosse in The Winter Ghosts)

  8. #8
    Member julierockhead's Avatar
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    Default Re: Disrespecting LHC and my hair!

    Quote Originally Posted by jasper View Post
    I don't have a sister, but my brother used to disparage my hair. We were very light blondes as little kids. He has always kept a lighter, more sunny blonde head of hair while mine darkened- I won't call it dirty blonde, but he would call it dishwater. He managed to gloat over this quite a bit when a teenager and kept it up through our early adulthood. Well, he's facing male balding and his blonde tresses are so thin he wears a hat constantly. I just smile to myself and don't give him any flack.
    Wow you have an iron will, or you are supernaturally forgiving! If he had treated me that way, I would NEVER, EVER let an opportunity go by that I didn't mention baldness somehow in his presence. Even if it was just to say how bald guys can look really, really good, even if the glare can sometimes be a bit much.
    Guardian Julia of the Rock, Shaman of Animism in the Order of the Long Haired Knights

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    Uninspired jasper's Avatar
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    Default Re: Disrespecting LHC and my hair!

    Quote Originally Posted by julierockhead View Post
    Wow you have an iron will, or you are supernaturally forgiving! If he had treated me that way, I would NEVER, EVER let an opportunity go by that I didn't mention baldness somehow in his presence. Even if it was just to say how bald guys can look really, really good, even if the glare can sometimes be a bit much.
    I can't count on never ending up a bit bald myself (my grandmother did not have a lot of hair in her later years), so I am keeping my mouth shut to him. I made my snarky remarks on the subject to my mom, though

  10. #10
    Member katienoonan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Disrespecting LHC and my hair!

    As some people have already mentioned... it seems your sister is feeling a bit of the green snarky demon because of your hair length and compliments!
    Happiness is contagious!

    APL BSL WAIST HIP

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