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Thread: Can't hold onto this hair any longer?

  1. #1
    ≈ωаѵєs оŋ τнє оcєаŋ≈ xoxophelia's Avatar
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    Default Can't hold onto this hair any longer?

    I could really use some quick input on the to cut or not to cut debate. I currently don't have a functioning camera so I will just describe the ends of my hair:

    -"bushy" and isn't floppy.. instead it is almost stiff regardless of ACV rinses, not using protein.. I am certain it is damage
    -it is getting more and more brassy from washed out black dye while my roots are about 9-12" and are a cool brown
    -uneven and 100% dull and has started to tangle on itself without even a gust of wind
    -also raggedy looking from old shed/dye/heat damage from before joining LHC

    My original goal was to grow to 35" this year but I haven't been happy with my hair since the start of the year and have been wanting to cut off a significant amount (about 4") to get rid of the worst looking part. My DBF had said I should wait to decide until June and he likes my hair but I am getting tired of disliking every part of myself right now (also had a weight gain from going on and off BC).

    I have been very patient cutting off the dye and the damage since joining but I have to be honest, I am just getting tired of my hair being so.. well.. ugly (stiff, doesn't move, no shine).

    And I feel like my hair is in a way holding me back. I want to shed this weight and work on myself in more ways than one and just feel like I can't even stand my hair anymore.

    Like I said, I have been thinking a lot about it for awhile now and would love nothing more than to cut off those inches tonight and then wake up tomorrow and start a new diet/work out plan. As time has gone on, I have become less concerned with length and more wanting to just have hair that I can enjoy. I do think I would be happy growing back to 30" and then sticking there until my hair is healthier.

    I just want some input from people here.. maybe even a little encouragement to go ahead with the trim that I have really been putting off for quite a long time. I think I am really ready to let go of the old hair and move forward with my life.

    It is odd how emotional and almost symbolic hair can be..

    ~~embracing nature's waves~~
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  2. #2
    Undercover Fairy Lostsoule77's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't hold onto this hair any longer?

    I think that being happy is what is important in the long hair journey. I think if the ends are being tangly then that probably is an indication that you should trim. Have you tried using a chelating shampoo? I've heard that can help. Four inches is a lot, but should only take about 8 months to grow back if you have average growth.
    You have said that you have thought about this for awhile now so normally I would say that the two week rule doesn't apply. You also mentioned that you had some weight gain and are hating every part of yourself. Perhaps you should put an extra couple of weeks thought into this. Start that diet/exercise routine. See if that starts to change how you are feeling in general. You don't want to cut just because you're in a funk. You probably still need a trim, but maybe not a whole four inches.
    In the end though you have to be happy. If that four inches really is going to make the difference in your emotional well being then after those two weeks go for it. It is only hair and will grow back.

  3. #3
    Member jaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't hold onto this hair any longer?

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxophelia View Post
    I have been thinking a lot about it for awhile now and would love nothing more than to cut off those inches tonight and then wake up tomorrow and start a new diet/work out plan. As time has gone on, I have become less concerned with length and more wanting to just have hair that I can enjoy. I do think I would be happy growing back to 30" and then sticking there until my hair is healthier.
    It sounds like you know what you want to do ... and I think it is a good decision!

    Well, either decision would be good but I'm partial to the "haircut = fresh start" symbolism because it works so well for me. It helped me at least twice in the past. I got a psychological boost from looking in the mirror and seeing something different.

  4. #4
    Member Miss Catrina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't hold onto this hair any longer?

    I would go for the cut. It's going to have to come off sometime, right? Why prolong the negative feelings about your hair any longer than you have to? There's not much point in extra length if it's length you don't feel good about.

  5. #5
    Member WaterMusic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't hold onto this hair any longer?

    It's only four inches. If you wanted to chop it all off, I'd say to wait a while to make sure, but like a PP said, four inches will grow back in roughly 8 months.

    I'd suggest trying the chelating shampoo first, just in case it's a mineral buildup problem.

  6. #6
    Member Wheatland's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't hold onto this hair any longer?

    I agree with jaine. Sounds like you already know what you want to do. In the long run, I don't think 4" is that big of a deal and it sounds like that's what will make you happy.

    Sometimes we all just need a bit of change in our lives.

    I hope you're happy with whatever decision you make and I'm sure you'll look beautiful no matter what you do!

  7. #7

    Default Re: Can't hold onto this hair any longer?

    I feel exactly how you do right now. My hair is extremely chemically damaged from removing black hair dye a year ago. I have about 6 inches of virgin hair regrowth, which I love. But the rest of my hair brings me down so much. It's dry, tangled, crunchy, and piecey looking. The color looks very orange in some lighting, and its extremely patchy. There are white dots and splits at the ends of my hair. I'm also growing out these awful layers which makes it even worse. I've been wanting to chop up to at least BSL or even shorter. It would be SO nice to just get rid of even 75% of that hair..but I am very attached to it. I simply don't feel like "starting over," and I honestly don't look good with shorter hair. But I think I might do it. Next week I'm going to the salon, and I'll probably make a spur of the moment decision.

    Anyway, I hope whichever decision you choose makes you happy. If you are unhappy with your hair, something's gotta change right? Maybe try cutting an inch at a time? I wish i could take my own advice. Good luck!

    Grow hair, grow!

  8. #8
    Member DoubleCrowned's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't hold onto this hair any longer?

    One thing to consider is your phrase, "I am getting tired of disliking every part of myself right now..." If you use your hair as the scapegoat for that emotion, cutting your hair will not make you feel better about yourself in the long run, although it might give you a temporary boost.

    Tackling the diet and exercise right now--this very minute--would be a message to your psyche that you intend to change things, and a sign that you love yourself enough to care for your health. It's the subtle difference between throwing out a symbol (hair) of the real problem ("...disliking every part of myself...") and getting to the true core of the issue (why you ended up letting your body get into its present condition). Once you sort out the emotions, cutting the hair can be a beautiful symbol of a new beginning; otherwise, you may be looking for something else to toss in a week or two.

    Of course, I am not inside your head; only you can know if you have come to terms with the underlying emotions...but you asked for input...

  9. #9
    Long Hair Dreams vanillabones's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't hold onto this hair any longer?

    If it were me, I would not even hesitate. I would trim off those stiff scraggles tonight! Mostly because raggedy ends drive me insane but your hair is wavy so it's probably less noticeable. Either way what good is that extra four inches if it's damaged stiff and you feel it's ugly. I think your hair will feel better as will your subconscious. I would go for it, you'll have healthier neat clean hair to maintain/grow again ^^
    _1b / F / i/ii__... Forever Growing _
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  10. #10
    Member Becky Safari's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't hold onto this hair any longer?

    I have the same dilemma, but I am choosing to cut it about 1/2 inch every month or so instead of 4 inches all at once. But sometimes I am really close to just cutting it all at once! Right now my last 4/5 inches are what's left of my flat ironing days and those last inches look bad no matter what I do because they are thinner than the rest of my hair (also due to being the last layer).

    If you feel the need to cut all of it as a catalyst to a "new you" then I say go for it!
    "Here is adventure. Here is romance. Here is mystery. Tropical rivers - silently flowing into the unknown. The unbelievable splendor of exotic flowers...the eerie sound of the jungle...with eyes that are always watching."

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