"Is that gray hair I see? How old are you!"

**tigerlily896** · October 30th, 2010, 08:05 AM

So I have been growing my hair out because I would love to see my natural virgin hair. I so far have about 6 inches of shiney natural hair!
However, I seem to have inherited genes from my fathers side: prematurely gray hair.
Currently my hair is about 15-20% gray.

I have always had issues with confidence and sell esteem. I go back and forth with either loving my "salt and pepper"/gray streaks or feeling ugly about them. I know I would be really dissapointed in myself if I dyed it because that is inherently what I don't want to do.

Anyhow, my issue is this: when someone observes my gray hair and announces "Hey you have a gray there!" or " Oh my gosh, is that a gray I see? How old are you?" (I'm 27 btw), I never know what to say and end up getting embarrassed and self conscious. I was wondering if anyone had a witty remark in their arsenal that I could borrow?

I feel like that if I could just handle those awkward situations (there will be more as I'm growing out, I'm sure), then I can proceed to accepting my natural hair color completely.thank you in advance!

**silverjen** · October 30th, 2010, 08:17 AM

An enthusiastic "Yes, isn't it pretty?!?" might make some people think twice. Or, "Yes, and I earned it."

I know that in a lot of cultures personal questions aren't considered rude, but It would drive me crazy to be asked my age like that.

Good luck! And good for you for embracing your grays! I just started going significantly gray this summer, but at my age no one looks twice.

**Madora** · October 30th, 2010, 08:21 AM

If people mention that they see you've got a gray hair you can reply:

.."Thanks! I know". Ignore the question: "How old are you?" Your age is your business and no one else's.

I declare, people are insensitive when they see someone with a few grays in their hair. What difference does it make in the scheme of things? As long as your hair is healthy it doesn't matter.

If you feel unhappy with the grey showing, then you could color it...but then you'd have to keep on coloring it to keep up appearances. I don't know how deleterious that would be on your hair. Chemicals and dyes are anathema to me.

People at work remarked to me that they could see little silvery threads among my brunette color. Couldn't care less. I started graying at about 55 but wouldn't think of dyeing my hair (it was too long anyway).

Just remember, hair doesn't define a person. It's what's inside that counts!

Best wishes, Madora

..

**Gabriel** · October 30th, 2010, 08:33 AM

Depending on who said it and how would dictate my reaction. I pretty much can come up with snappy come backs on the spot (thanks little brother!).

I think your hair is lovely and I really like the way it looks, your greys are coming in naturally, delicately.

You can react in a lot of different ways, don't be embarrassed though! Anyone who has to announce what you obviously already know should be embarrassed. You can always do the "duh" look at them with a one shoulder lifted shrug and keep talking about whatever you were talking about so they get the hint that stating the obvious is pretty dumb. Adding in a momentarily arched eyebrow is an option here as well.

As if to say "really genius, I NEVER noticed that" without actually saying it.

Rolling your eyes without missing a beat in the conversation gets this across as well as indicating obvious (inside voice)remarks will not be replied to.

You could also nod sagely instead and with your head held very high and in all seriousness announce to their announcement, "Yes, I do have grey hair. It is a sign of great wisdom/ancient knowledge/something that is very respected in my culture" or some other intensely sounding thing all the while maintaining eye contact. Most folks will either then try to joke about it or nod and realize they overstepped the social politeness bounds and back off.

If my little brother said something about my grey hair I would probably say something jokingly, "Yeah remember when you threw the forks away and we had to look for them all over the house because we didn't know? That's what these grey hairs are from." OR I would gasp, overly dramatic and loudly ask, clutching my head "I have grey hair!!"

It just depends on the person and what your comfort level for handling it is. Just remember you have nothing to be embarrassed about at all. The person making the comment should be.

I do open my mouth and speak my inside thoughts out loud sometimes, every one does once in a while. It's just the amount of folks who feel they're entitled to let their mouths ramble all the time without regard to other folks feelings does annoy me.

**hairobsessed1** · October 30th, 2010, 08:36 AM

dont feel embarrassed- im 22 and i have some grey hairs - i think they look natural and beautiful

**mellie** · October 30th, 2010, 09:03 AM

It's not premature gray at all, it's quite normal to have grays at that age. Just a lot of people dye them so we don't see them. Tons of folks here started getting them as early as age 16, I did at age 19. I see them as a sign of adulthood.

I agree with Silverjen, I usually say something just like that "Yes, isn't it pretty?" Or "Yes, isn't it cool?"

And like Hairobssessed said, they are beautiful and natural!

**Demetrue** · October 30th, 2010, 09:08 AM

From what I have read, Caucasian women start to develop gray hairs at age 34, + or - 9.6 years, so 25 is within the average timeframe to start to get grays, but most people cover them up. The average white woman is 50% gray by age 50, but again, most dye it, so we have a false sense of what is normal and natural for going silver.

**ktani** · October 30th, 2010, 09:41 AM

Originally Posted by tigerlily896

So I have been growing my hair out because I would love to see my natural virgin hair. I so far have about 6 inches of shiney natural hair!
However, I seem to have inherited genes from my fathers side: prematurely gray hair.
Currently my hair is about 15-20% gray.

I have always had issues with confidence and sell esteem. I go back and forth with either loving my "salt and pepper"/gray streaks or feeling ugly about them. I know I would be really dissapointed in myself if I dyed it because that is inherently what I don't want to do.

Anyhow, my issue is this: when someone observes my gray hair and announces "Hey you have a gray there!" or " Oh my gosh, is that a gray I see? How old are you?" (I'm 27 btw), I never know what to say and end up getting embarrassed and self conscious. I was wondering if anyone had a witty remark in their arsenal that I could borrow?

I feel like that if I could just handle those awkward situations (there will be more as I'm growing out, I'm sure), then I can proceed to accepting my natural hair color completely.thank you in advance!

Regardless of what you may decide to do or not do about your grey hair, you have the comments now.

There really is no easy way to deal with someone's rudeness, however unintentional. I think the comments are probably brought about by shock and curiosity because you look young, rather than meant to hurt you. You can always consider them a sort of compliment.

Instead of trying to figure out which comeback is going to be appropriate, it may just be simpler to smile and say "genetics" and then change the subject.

**Bene** · October 30th, 2010, 09:45 AM

I simply ignore those types of questions, mostly I'll smile and act as if I didn't hear it. I see it like this "If you're rude enough to ask a rude question, then I can be just as rude and not answer it"

**YesitsReal** · October 30th, 2010, 09:50 AM

I have a good friend who started going significantly gray around 16. I think it can be very striking on a younger person. He colored it once, and it just didn't look as good. Do what you like, but I think it looks super cool.