What the hell? It sounds to me like they were infuriatingly envious and convinced themselves that long hair was disgusting and so on just to repair their confidence or something. Who thinks extensions look better than real hair? LOL.
Well. It is a long story, and can probably go off into several tangents but I will shorten it for the sake of clarity.
I recently mentioned on another forum that I did not like the look of hair extensions for special occasions, and also have not seen any done well where I live. I brought this up in a conversation where I was wondering WHY in Bridal magazines etc you rarely see brides with short cute hairstyles. Personally, I have nothing against short hair and I don't care what people do to theirs but extensions for a special occasion do frustrate me.
Where I grew up, cutting off a woman's hair was a sacrifice. Her hair gift then would be sold to the highest American bidder and this was seen as the ultimate form of greed. Many of my neighbors actually thought white women could not grow hair, because they were so confused as to why they would need to buy it. One aunt of mine put it well: "just because you want it, doesn't mean you should reach out and grab it. Patience is the best reward." This article nicely illustrates my thoughts: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...r-Jamelia.html
Anyway on this bridal website I was attacked by the brides, who claimed that they "prefer the look of extensions over real hair any day", "why do you want to have waist length hair anyway", "long hair is disgusting", and that I was offensive for even saying that I did not like extensions. They said I was rubbing it in their faces that I had long hair that I enjoy. I still am surprised at the ferociousness of the attack but what surprised me the most is that so many people said that they actually PREFERRED fake extensions over naturally grown hair. Somehow to these brides, natural length is disgusting, but hair extensions GLUED into their hair (and they have no idea where it came from) is not at all gross. Wow.
I have a feeling that the brides are frustrated because they want to accept and love their short hair on their wedding day. However like I mentioned above, there are almost no examples of short styles in any media outlet. They are probably the victims of subliminal marketing and don't even know it. I asked them why they felt the need to get extensions on their wedding day and while some took offense to my question, the only other responses I got was along the line of "just because I just want to." Every woman I have met with long hair has given a good reason for it, either she does it for cultural reasons, or because her mother had long hair, because the goal of growing hair out is fun, or because she thought long hair was beautiful. There has ALWAYS been a reason either than 'just because'.
Has anyone else ever heard anything like this before? Is this all a new cultural phenomenon, or perhaps a new marketing device to get even more money from brides-to-be?
What the hell? It sounds to me like they were infuriatingly envious and convinced themselves that long hair was disgusting and so on just to repair their confidence or something. Who thinks extensions look better than real hair? LOL.
Madame Bovary's Basement * ~ * ~ * ~ Transatlantic Impressions * ~ * ~ * ~ My facebook
Shoulder - APL - BSL - waist - hip - tailbone
Welcome to LHC!
I've used both permanent extensions and clip-ins in the past. I'm still using clip-ins; if you ask me why i'm wearing them i'd say i regret having my waist-length hair cut and want to feel like a long hair again. I think this is a good reason for wearing extensions because hair doesn't grow overnight.
I think the reason those brides said "just because" is that they cannot put their finger on what makes extensions look better than long hair. Extensions usually do look better because you have long hair without weighed-down roots and they have the extensions put in a salon, where they do everything they possibly can to make it all look awesome. When you live with long hair, you have to go through all the down sides of having long hair like bad hair days, split ends etc.
But to be honest, although they saved my confidence in earlier stages of growth, i'd love not to have to put them on to have long hair. That's why my goal length is tailbone length. Wearing extensions isn't half as comfy as wearing your natural hair.
I think everyone has the right to decide what's best for their hair. If they want to be fooled into salons let them be; because they chose to go there instead of joining LHC and caring for their hair. People should open their eyes themselves to see what's going on around them, forcing them into the good way will not change the way they see themselves. (i know from myself, i did mistakes and learned my lesson)
Chin /// Shoulder /// APL /// BSL ///Waist /// Hip /// BCL /// Tailbone /// Classic (final goal) /// All one length Classic
The Fox and the Grapes, anyone?Driven by hunger, a fox tried to reach some grapes hanging high on the vine but was unable to, although she leaped with all her strength. As she went away, the fox remarked, 'Oh, you aren't even ripe yet! I don't need any sour grapes.' People who speak disparagingly of things that they cannot attain would do well to apply this story to themselves.Now, I understand the "ick" factor most people have when seeing extremely long hair. But then shouldn't hair extensions be even more icky? It's hair cut from someone else's head just to be glued onto yours. Gross.
Dressing up for your wedding is fine, but completely changing who you are just to fit into some magazine's preconceived notion of what a perfect bride should look like... I mean, if they personally thought long hair looked perfect, they'd grow it out or wear extensions all the time, right? Not just for one day.
But I guess they could also believe that despite looking nice, long hair is hard to deal with. IMO, putting makeup on every morning is much more annoying.
Judging from what you said though, it's not the case of long hair simply being a nuisance.
mermaid in training
Welcome to the forum! Yours is one of the most interesting posts I've ever read.
I'm American, and I've spent 3 months of the last year in India. There's more beautiful hair, per capita, in India than in anyplace I've ever seen, and hair care is a much bigger part of Indian culture than it is in the US.
All of my Indian girlfriends and I talked constantly about hair care, much than I do with my friends here. The women I spent time with generally make their own conditioners and hair products, and people of both sexes henna their hair whenever they feel like it. At the salons, 2 people blow dry your hair, because otherwise they'd never get it done.
I observed that it's rare for Indian women to cut their hair. (I didn't visit any of the temples where it's done for sacrifice.) In the US until very recently, there was an expectation that when you reached a certain age, especially if you had a high-powered job, you would cut your hair to look "professional".
I never intended to cut my hair, and I seem to be among a wave of women who decided the same thing. But women older than us do almost always have short hair.
The first person I told I had joined this website, a woman who I did not know particularly well, said, in all seriousness, "Long hair? For adult women? That's a ****** thing, right?" I was TRULY shocked by this. I just want to take good care of my hair. I couldn't help but notice than she had short, thin, blah hair.
So, in short, I think you got the reactions you got at that bridal site because of petty jealousy. I also think there's an American notion of "wash and go" and doing everything fast and for convenience. If you want healthy long hair, you can't be like that. You have to slow down, pay attention, and be gentle --3 very non-American (and probably non British as well) notions at this time.
Sadly, the tragic origins of many hair extensions probably don't matter to most Westerners, who are used to just grabbing what they want when they want it. (I say that as a Westerner who's just as guilty of that as anyone else.)
I have now thrown my hair extentions away. I found it difficult to make them look good. I found myself spotting others with extentions and knew that mine were that obvious too. I much prefer my own hair now, even though it is shorter than what I would like. Patience is a virtue indeed, and I am actually enjoying the journey. Each month I'm able to do more things with my hair as it grows, and I love seeing pictures taken and seeing it getting gradually longer. I also enjoy learning about personal haircare to help it on its way - its a fascinating journey imo.
Sisterhood
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1_zJofn0oU
I am always torn when I hear tales of exploitation in other countries. While it is horrible that those women get so desperate that they feel they have to sell their hair, if we stop the practice, what is there left for them to sell? How else will they make money? I know that if it was a choice between feeding my sons and shaving my head, I would have gone bald in a heartbeat. I don't think we can take away one way for them to survive without offering something in return. Or perhaps placing pressure on those who buy the hair to pay more for what they are getting.
Anyway, it is a moot point for me because the only clip-ins I have are fake hair. I would feel a little weirded out by putting a stranger's hair in mine.
Change is the only constant.
this whole thread is disturbingly interesting, but i just wanted to add that i think glossyshine's post is 100% right-on. i definitely felt that 'cut it or bust' pressure when i was in the 'professional' workforce at a university not so long ago. there is a lingering prejudice in american culture that only hippies and weirdos--'a ****** thing'?!--have very long hair...read any girlie magazine and the big hair no-no is growing past your nipples. ha! and WHY??
i disagree about the convenience and wash-and-go bit, sort of, only because in my experience shorter hair is often more tedious to style (blowdryers, products, etc), but the part about having to slow down and be gentle with long hair is SO true and so un-american at this time. i'm jealous you got to visit india, whatever your reasons
for 'most women' *grain of salt here* i guess it's just easier to have somebody cut and bleach it for you every few weeks, and when you want to look "beautiful" and "special" just slap in the extensions and you don't have to maintain anything or put forth effort caring for it. maybe that's it--the dedication and care longhairs put into their growth is what repels these women, they just don't know it.
i like the fox and the grapes thing too, naereid, that was good!
i wish i had used olaplex BEFORE i bleached. sigh.
...henna will be my friend again someday
Thank you for posting that article. Crazy to read they even take the hair from corpses and rubbish dumps... I have never had extensions (they don't seem to exist in my colour anyway hehe!) but after reading this, I am even more sure it's not the right idea for me.
I saw the tv program and was horrified by what it showed. I have worn hair extensions before but always synthetic ones which were crazy colours. I have always had a big problem with real hair extensions and the fact that they must have come from woman and men who were so poor that they sold their hair for a small amount of money just to survive. The idea of putting someone elses hair in my hair has also always made me feel sick. It upsets me that salons and the people who get hair extensions put in do not think about the people who are exploited to provide the hair and realise that they are part of the exploitation. I can understand that a bride wants to look her best on her wedding day but i think that for 1 day that they could use synthetic extensions (which now a days look just like real hair. Ok so they may not feel real but who is going to feel the hair?). Although as we all know there is nothing like having the patience and love of growing and caring for your own real hair.
Growing old DISgracefully!
Bookmarks