I need a hug :(

[LittleOrca]

So I am sure some of your regulars have noticed I have not been around much. Grad school and a new project (will talk about it in my blog later) has kept my busy. While grad school has kept me busy and stressed me out, that is not why I need a hug.

My hair is so thin now.

I lost probably 1/4 to 1/3 the thickness of my ponytail thanks to my surgery. For almost 3 weeks straight I was combing (gently) out close to 100 hairs a day or more (I know 100 is average for a person, but my average was more like 20 or below.) Just a 30 minutes ago, I probably combed out between 50-75 hairs.

I have been babying my hair like crazy. I put moisture into it, I have upped my protein intake and pills for hair health (biotin, selenium, herbal pills, etc), oiled it and left it alone for a few days, kept it in my satin cap at night, I even gave up swimming for the time being so I would not have to use the harsh shampoos on it to get the chemicals out and it's still thinning.

"Look forward to the halos!" or "Think of all the baby hairs!" isn't really helping me to be comfortable with this. I am so frustrated part of me wants to just shave it all off, but I know that (1) wont solve anything and (2) will erase the year and a half I have been growing out my virgin hair. I was going to cut off the dyed part eventually when my virgin hair was longer (only about 8.5 inches at the moment, might cut off the dye when virgin hair is at about 42 [where I am now.. or was before this shed]) but it's not worth it to me right now.

Summer is coming and I know I will wear my hair up most of the time anyways because of the heat, but it's like a disgusting scar that you have on your body. You may be able to cover it with clothes, but you know its there. And, I will admit it, I do like to wear my hair down occasionally just for the "Oooh" factor I get from some people. (Low self-esteem, my hair actually boosts it for me.) I just really needed a place to cry to and no one in my life outside this computer would understand, except maybe my fiancé and mother, but they have heard me cry enough I don't want to be a burden.

The only positive I can think of right now is that I do have a lot of hair toys so no matter what I am wearing I will have a hair toy for it. Eight ficcares, countless hair sticks both store bought and home made, hair forks, a snood, bun covers, scarves, slides, barettes and hair screws. I feel guilty for being sad when I look at my options and how well my buns can still hide how thin my hair has become and that just adds to my misery.

Does anyone have any advice?

Here are some pictures of my hair's condition. They are both from about 10 minutes ago. You can really see my virgin hair now too.

.....






Also, on an unrelated side note, it's been 1 month since my birthday and my stupid new MP3 Player isn't here yet that we ordered!

[Demetrue]

If it's any consolation, your hair still looks thicker than a lot of people's. It feels thin to you because you are used to super thick hair, but your hair still appears thicker than average.

[NiAosSi]

Aw, I really have no advice other than keep babying it for the time being and hopefully once your weight stabilizes your hair will, too.

[little_acorn]

Firstly don't be so hard on yourself Orca - you've been through a tough time lately. Your hair to me still looks like beautiful mermaid hair and is still thicker than most. I would suggest carrying on with what you are doing already (babying, putting it up) and trying to focus on something else. Once the rest of your life has calmed down some it really won't seem nearly to bad to you. Personally, I would love to have your mermaid hair

[BattahZ]

I don't really have any advice either, but (((hugs)))!!! I haven't seen pics of your hair's previous condition, but it looks pretty thick and lovely to me.

[TiaKitty]

I did notice you weren't here... but I didn't know why. I hope you are feeling better after your surgery.

I have to say, those photies of your hair really are lovely. You must be feeling the shed more than it is showing, because it still looks luxurious to me!

Just keep dancing and swimming and doing things that get your heart rate up and the blood flowing to the scalp, and you'll be doing the best you can. The vitamins and tender care will surely help, too!

[frizzalot]

I can't say anything about the thickness of your hair from the picture but the condition of your hair looks lovely

[restourceful]

LittleOrca, I just looked at your length pictures in your album and, to me, it doesn't look that much thinner. But I know you are seeing the hairs coming out and you can feel the difference in thickness. I don't have any answers for you either, but I wanted you to know I think it still looks very beautiful! I hope you are able to find a way to not stress about it as well as all the other things that have stressed you. I'm sending good unstressed tress thoughts your way!

[LittleOrca]

Thanks everyone.

I think restourceful has it right. Most people I guess wont see the difference, but I can feel it, I can see it in the trashcan or when I am cleaning up. Maybe there is hope to wear it down once a month. Thank you for your support.

[Quixii]

I was wondering where you were! I was worried it was because of your hair.
I'm sorry it feels bad, but it still looks lovely. <3 Maybe you'll get one of those wonderful summer growth spurts which will add some thickness in a couple months.