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Thread: Lightening my mom's hair?

  1. #1
    Member Clarisse's Avatar
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    Default Lightening my mom's hair?

    Recently, I convinced my mother to stop bleacing her hair. She really wants to grow long hair, and has been complaing about dryness and breakage, an overall "haystacky" look, and hair not wanting to grow past APL.
    She quit going to her usual hairdresser, who would cut off to much hair and bleach it, and now I'm the one "in charge" - I cut her hair every 3 months.
    The problem is that she really wants a lighter hair color. She had my golden colorblonde with brown streaks when she was younger, but her hair has turned mediumbrown as she got older. She has gotten some gray hairs too, especially in the temples, that she usually covered with the bleach.
    I have considered using cassia on her hair, to condition the bleached parts and to make the gray and white strands golden, but I'm pretty sure her hair will still look brown.
    Honey and/or lemon is another option, I thought about. Sometimes I put it on my hair in the summer, before going out in the sun, but it gives more of a golden hue that fades, and this is not really what she wants either. Besides, the amount of sunshine is very limited in the autumn and winter months here in Denmark.

    So my question is - is there any non-damaging way to lighten her hair? Or will she have to accept her brown or stick with the bleach?
    I thought about henna/indigo/cassia/buxus dioica to get her a warmer brown color than the greyish/mousy brown she has right now, but I can't convince her about brown being an "ok" color to go with her pale and a slightly freckled skin. Don't you think brown would suit her ok? And what can I do to convince her about it?

    P.S. - I wasn't really sure about where to post this. I hope I posted in the right forum

  2. #2
    Onward and Upward GoddesJourney's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lightening my mom's hair?

    There's a whole thread on here about how to successfully be a bottle blonde. If she's not ready to accept her true color, or not interested in just a warmer tone, or is really attached to being blonde, it's okay. The are some bleached blonde long hairs on here that should have very good tips for you on how to get the light hair with less damage. I know a bleach blonde girl (Brazilian and her hair is naturally very dark and thick) with waist length hair. I think it breaks off at about waist length, and I know she doesn't take care of it very well. Silicones also help a lot if you have damaged ends. I used it to control my damage while I was growing it out.

    For cool tips on life, check out my blog, How to Be Awesome, For Free, a survival guide for surviving in style.

  3. #3
    Eternal APL Katze's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lightening my mom's hair?

    For many years I was determined to be blonde, and tried everything out there. From home bleaching to sun-in, from salon 'foiling' to lemon juice and honey. Only bleaching products (sun in, bleach, highlighting, or dye) lightened my hair, but I was always dissatisfied with the warm hues of the colors I got.

    Also, my hair would never get long. Perhaps if I had known how to care for it as I do now, this might have been different, but I was always going to salons who would tell me I needed to cut 'all those old ends off' etc etc. My fine hair is more delicate than M or C hair, but no one ever told me this - they just told me it was 'thin', which it isn't.

    Finally I have learned to accept - and actually LIKE - my haircolor. For the first time ever in my life! And since so many women with my color bleach, I do actually feel more special (and look more natural) than I did with the yellowish bleached blonde.

    Your mom can probably get healthy hair and still bleach it, but LOTS of moisture and gentle care are key!

    hope you can either persuade her to accept her natural color, or find some other solution that helps make her happy. Feel free to PM me about transitioning from bleach, since it has worked very well for me.
    Feb 2013, solid BSL again but shedding. Wondering if this is really terminal length. Hairtype 1b/2b, F/M, ii

  4. #4
    Nutty neurology nurse!!! jojo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lightening my mom's hair?

    The only healthy or should i say hair friendly way to lighten hair is to have highlights but only ever re-colour the roots, leaving the already bleached bits well alone.

    It is possible to have lighter hair, but this means hardly ever using heat, maybe on special occassions with protection and also making a good conditioner the hairs stable diet!

    I have highlights and get them re-done 3 times a year, I have no dryness, brassiness or breakage. My routine is CO washes, daily oils from ears down and bunned, 2 DC treatments a week. I occassionally use shampoo but its heavily watered down.

    There are also lots of LHC people on here with highlighted hair which is healthy and long. Its all about going that extra mile in caring for it and being totaly dedicated in keeping it healthy. The minute you slip a good routine, it will show in the hair as bleached hair is more fussy with being pampered!
    Buzz October 2015 to get rid of bendigo and lots of other damage, now Al natural and loving it....where will my journey end? I will tell you when I get there. Lifelong Co washer and LOC method currentl approaching curly hip

  5. #5
    Mad SCIENTIST!
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    Default Re: Lightening my mom's hair?

    The effectiveness of honey lightening is very dependent on the honey you use, and should definitely be permanent -- it's a gentler form of peroxide bleaching. Have you been over the honey thread thoroughly?

  6. #6
    Nutty neurology nurse!!! jojo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lightening my mom's hair?

    forgot about the honey thread, excellent suggestion.
    Buzz October 2015 to get rid of bendigo and lots of other damage, now Al natural and loving it....where will my journey end? I will tell you when I get there. Lifelong Co washer and LOC method currentl approaching curly hip

  7. #7
    Member TokyoPink's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lightening my mom's hair?

    Isn't the lightening product in Honey hydrogen peroxide? Therefore, wouldn't using a diluted version of cream peroxide work the same way as honey, but a little more effective? But only a low volume, say 3%, mixed 50/50 with water, maybe after or before an oil treatment or SMT to protect to hair beforehand?
    I've been thinking of doing this with my hair, once my Special Effects has faded. I know some people have had success with using is straight (that is, undiluted). Sorry if I'm being confusing here
    I think you could definitely try cassia for the grey hairs, and for the moisture, I know my mum is planning to try it out one of these days. And if she doesn't like the colour, it's only temporary right?

    "Well as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out"

  8. #8
    Mermaid Princess Demetrue's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lightening my mom's hair?

    What if you got a box of commercial hair dye in a medium golden blonde shade and mixed some of it up in a bowl and painted on a few strands to highlight around the front of her face. Just do like 3 thin strands on each side and see if that is enough to give her a lighter effect. Then you can do cassia afterwards and the grays and the highlighted strands should all end up a shade of golden blonde.

    I have achieved pretty golden lightening by mixing up some chamomile tea, lemon and 3% hydrogen peroxide in a spray bottle and spraying it on my wet hair after shampooing/conditioning and combing it through and going out in the sun for a while. Then I come back in, rinse it all out and condition even more.

    Lady Nereida of the Riptide Shores - LHK
    Renegray: Silver Hair is a Sparkling Diadem

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