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  • Drive-By, using "cool", "neat", "awesome"

    175 38.38%
  • Its best not to say anything at all

    35 7.68%
  • "Hey excuse me, I'm not hitting on you, but you have beautiful hair." Then walk off

    206 45.18%
  • Other ? please explain. . .

    40 8.77%
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Thread: How do we (as guys) "properly comment on a woman's hair?

  1. #11
    A redhead brunette Heidi_234's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do we (as guys) "properly comment on a woman's hair?

    Yeah, it also a matter of place, in some countries/cities/towns it could be easier to compliment a stranger. Lets say that in here, a women is better speed up her pace if someone comes up and offers her a compliment of a kind. : It just hints at alter motives and comes off kind of creepy, whether you like it or not. It sucks, especially if your intentions were good.
    Hit-and-run compliment are just about the same, but you leave all the defensive behavior to the recipient, and then the realization that you may have just wanted say you think her hair looks great today. Massage passed - mission done.

    Soft hair that is nice to sit on - now I'm bragging!

  2. #12
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    Default Re: How do we (as guys) "properly comment on a woman's hair?

    To be honest man, I would be a little freaked out and suspicious myself if some random stranger I didn't know made any comments about my hair good or negative. The way that girl ran off and giggled to her friend definitely signaled to me that she felt you were being a bit inappropriate with her and intended to pick her up. Even if this wasn't your intention, think about it. If you were her, what would you think about some random boy you don't even know saying something like that to you? I think you are very lucky that she brushed off your comment, and more importantly if she has a boyfriend that he wasn't there when you said that to her.

  3. #13
    Member Peter's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do we (as guys) "properly comment on a woman's hair?

    Last time I complimented a woman on her hair, she seemed overly tense about it... laughing nervously and all. I really don't think she was happy with it, and it's been a while since I've said anything to anyone about their hair.

    ETA: To actually add something to the thread... I'll try the drive-by compliment idea too.

  4. #14
    Member getoffmyskittle's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do we (as guys) "properly comment on a woman's hair?

    Despite the creepy old man stereotype, the only time I've ever felt comfortable with non-LHC hair compliments from men is when the men are older. If they're too close to my age, I think they're hitting on me, especially since most non-LHC guys are not really into hair. Sorry...

    (I've never had a drive-by compliment from a guy close to my age, though, or a longhaired guy who wasn't already my friend, so I can't really judge how I'd respond.)

  5. #15
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    Default Re: How do we (as guys) "properly comment on a woman's hair?

    Drive-by compliments sound good to me. That's generally how I compliment anyone I don't know...male or female.

  6. #16
    plays with fire rhosyn_du's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do we (as guys) "properly comment on a woman's hair?

    I tend to be really uncomfortable interacting with strangers in general, but drive-by compliments rarely ping my "eek, a person!" response. Also, I'm a lot more comfortable with compliments from men (drive-by or otherwise) when they use language that isn't standard pick-up compliment language. For instance, a guy telling me my hair is "awesome," "fabulous," or "amazing" is way less threatening than him saying that it's "beautiful" or "gorgeous."
    Lady Pyracantha, Firethorn in the Order of the Long Haired Knights
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  7. #17
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    Default Re: How do we (as guys) "properly comment on a woman's hair?

    Quote Originally Posted by rhosyn_du View Post
    I tend to be really uncomfortable interacting with strangers in general, but drive-by compliments rarely ping my "eek, a person!" response. Also, I'm a lot more comfortable with compliments from men (drive-by or otherwise) when they use language that isn't standard pick-up compliment language. For instance, a guy telling me my hair is "awesome," "fabulous," or "amazing" is way less threatening than him saying that it's "beautiful" or "gorgeous."
    I agree with this entire post. Particularly the "eek, a person!" part.

  8. #18
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    Default Re: How do we (as guys) "properly comment on a woman's hair?

    Yellowchariot, this is of course only my suggestion and you are free to listen or to ignore it but when dealing with complete strangers you have to be very careful what you say to them.

    Generally, the only words you are allowed to say to a complete stranger are "Excuse me, I need to get by." or "Thank you." if they held a door open for you or just gave you directions to a certain place you are looking for. Notice how all of these phrases do not in anyway reflect on the person you are speaking to.

    There really is an unspoken rule about what is appropriate to say to people we don't know and to the people we do know. Now, say if this young lady was already a very good friend of yours, then yes you could have easily said to her "Hey what's up? Your hair looks nice today." and she wouldn't at all be taken aback by that since she already knows who you are.

    But of course, you didn't know this young lady. Since both of you are young people, she being a young woman would instinctively assume that you intended to ask her out on a date or perhaps have even less honorable intentions for her.

    When it comes to strangers the best thing to do is simply leave them alone to be at peace. You can privately think to yourself "Wow, that girl has awesome hair." but don't make it public.

  9. #19
    ::Slice of Sunshine Pie:: adiapalic's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do we (as guys) "properly comment on a woman's hair?

    As cynical, introverted, and socially awkward as I am, I never ever have felt suspicious, weird or uncomfortable with anyone complimenting my hair--old guys, young guys (or women of varying ages, etc.)--especially the brief "drive-by's". In fact, I think it's almost silly for anyone to feel any sort of negativity toward compliments like that when it's obvious they're truly sincere and not after a phone number. That's just me though.

    Girls looking at each other and giggling while leaving the store after paying? That's not odd. That's them being flattered and leaving after they've made their purchase!
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  10. #20
    Mad SCIENTIST!
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    Default Re: How do we (as guys) "properly comment on a woman's hair?

    Yeah, but you're from NYC, Eric. Get to a smaller, slower town, and it's very different. I'm in Sydney, that's Australia's NYC, and you just don't talk to strangers here, either. (Under normal circumstances, at least.) If I then head up to a town on the Central Coast, as I do from time to time, people will strike up a conversation with you like you're their best mate, even though you're a total stranger. I couldn't say to someone "hey, your hair looks great" in most cases in Sydney, but up at Woy Woy? No worries, mate.
    Last edited by Flynn; August 8th, 2009 at 01:06 AM. Reason: (Bolded name)

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