Your hair is flat so your buns look bad? I'm sorry, but I can't understand this.
You have iii thickness in your hair. Twisting it should make really nice thick coils to make buns out of! I have fine, straight hair that is in the lower end of ii upper end on i, there is major taper in it too. I only know how to make one kind of bun. Guess how it turns out? Small, wonky and a bit odd (I have no real control over my bun either), but it's a good hair do protectionwise, and the more I see myself in it the better it looks.
It's acutally a fact that the more you see something the better it looks. Your mind just gets used to the look of something. So if you stick to buns for a while too, you might change your oppinion on them
I wear my hair in a loop like that sometimes, because I'm convinced it's better for the ends than haning loose. But it does feel like it's damaging
I can't say anything about the waves/curls. I'm more for having my hair stick straight. I love curls but I'm realistic enough to realize I won't have them naturally. I'm realizing my hair will never be straight either. It is some wonky mix of straight and almost not really wavy.
And if updos are not your thing, what about a braid/braids? It's better than having it loose, but more damaging than keeping it up. It could be a good compromise.
Maybe you need to step back from your hair a little. Find something else to take pride in and get confidence from. Settle on a gentle hair routine and just forget about your hair for a while. The anger isn't healthy, even if it feels like it's justified.
When you've settled down a bit and come to terms with your hair and it's current condition, (yes, it is damaged, yes, it will take a loooong time to get it back to being very nice, yes you need to be patient with it) you can start doing small experiments to see if they improve your hair condition or not.
We can help and encourage you on the way, but only you can actually help your hair.
EDIT: If anyone is interested, I hate time differences. It's past 1AM here now, and I need sleep T_T Good night all! I'll be sure to answer stuff tomorrow when I've slept
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