Hi, sorry you are struggling with your health and hair loss. You've been through a lot, so cut your self some slack, be kind to yourself and allow some time to grieve for your hair loss. Your life has been turned upside by the sounds of it, you are changed as a person but your hair and self image will recover but it'll just be of the new you, a survivor of many many things.
My only piece of advice is that before going for an even big chop is to consider how it will grow out. If you do plan to grow it long again then try to avoid anything uneven or heavily layered. The regrowth will be even move miserable!
And welcome to the LHC, an awesome place to hang while you're waiting
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