to cut or not to cut; that is the question

[spidermom]

I'm not looking for advice, although I will gladly accept it. I'm posting because I need to think this over "out loud" with people who understand.

This is what I have (air dried):


Thick, bushy, frizzy, heavy, hangs like a cape. Honestly, the only thing I like about it these days is 1) it's unusually long, and I like the unusual (which people rarely see because it's all over the place and in my way when I wear it down, plus it tangles), and 2) the braided styles I can do. However, I usually don't have the time to do a braided style, so I opt for a quick bun or two, and I hate buns. They're convenient, and I've learned several, so I use them, but I really and truly hate them. To me, a bun is a bun is a bun; they're all the same, pretty much (because I'm seeing my face, not my hair).

I've been growing out/trimming my hair for 14 years now (mostly 1/2 to 1-inch trims, occasionally as much as 7 inches), and I feel that I really truly need a change to something that isn't so heavy and all over the place, something that dries more quickly, maybe something layered that keeps the overall length but doesn't weigh down the texture so much but allows waves and curls. I'm 95% ready to take the plunge, but the other 5% is so loud. It tells me that I'll be sorry if I cut it, that the change I need is not my hair, that what I really want is to be younger, and a haircut won't do that for me, etc, etc. This is definitely a first-world problem, I mean - come on, who cares? It's only hair.

Yet it's not only hair; know what I mean?

[KittyBird]

I think your hair is very beautiful, but it's not my opinion that matters, it's yours. I can relate to how you feel though, as your hair appears to be pretty much identical to mine when I was 15. Insanely thick, heavy and just flat out annoying. I absolutely hated it and ended up getting it chopped into a horrifying pixie. As ugly as it was, the change still felt good and my hair grew back a lot nicer.
A very short 'do may be a bit extreme, but getting thinned or layered wouldn't hurt. If you end up hating it, then it'll suck but at least you'll know. I think that's better than sitting around feeling unhappy about your hair.

[share801]

I don't have any advice but I thought Kherome had a good statement to another poster today:
"Hair is just hair and it does not define whether or not you are pretty.".

I think there are a lot of looks you could pull off, perhaps something like Ultrabella. . .

Good luck with your decision. I will be eager to see what you do.

[FireFromWithin]

I think it will look great whether you cut it or not. If its annoying you as much at it seems for your post it sound like you need to do something. Perhaps start with layers to reduce the weight and go from there. I wouldn't cut it all in one go, that might help the 5%, if you do everything gradually you'll have time to see if you like it or if you want a bigger change.

I can share something that was said to me: a bad decision is better than no decision. You'll feel much better when you can get 100% on one side. If you manage to do that, maybe you could tell me how, I seem to be incredibly indecisive these days. Good luck.

[Bagginslover]

Maybe you need to remind yourself why you grew it in the first place, then you'll know better if you can part with it? Get up a little earlier a few days a week to do those braided styles you love, remembering that they won't work as well in shorter or layered hair. If doing your hair the way you live to do it still doesn't make you want to keep it as it is, then maybe a cut is the right thing for you. If you hate it when you do cut, it'll always grow back

[Kyaatje]

A couple of years back I cut my hair from almost waist to pixie for the same reason.
I loved the pixie but decided to grow back out after 6 years of short hair. This time I was more open and ready to try more unconventional methods. I still struggle sometimes and I go back and forth between traditional shampoo and conditioner and herbal treatments.
For the moment my hair isn't perfect, but I love it again. It might change off course.
I can't say what would be good for you, that is something you have to decide yourself. But cutting isn't the end of the world, hair grows.
Eventually it isn't the length or even the health that is most important, but how you feel about it.

[patienceneeded]

Your hair looks a lot like mine, only longer.Thick and heavy. In understand where you're coming from!

Maybe some small changes will be enough to make you happy with your hair again? A few inches (2-3), some light layering, thinning shears may be all that is needed. By light layering I mean cutting the ends at an angle, so it's not so blunt at the bottom. This will still allow you to braid your hair without dealing with true layers. Perhaps you're just bored? Maybe a color change? Dip-dye the ends? I'm actually considering dip-dying the ends of my own hair, just for fun. They're damaged from years of old bleach and I'm gradually trimming them, but I've gotten bored so I'm going to play. I don't want allover color, since I'm letting my grey hairs grow, but my ends are fair game to play with.

Maybe this will help?

[embee]

You say you don't have time to make your braided styles, so all you do is a quick bun. I hear that, it's where I am too, only my reason is my hair is so thin that a braid is silly looking most of the time and with my job I need it *up*... which says "bun".

Be *very very* careful about your short cut selection. Consider how much time it will take to style every day and to keep trimmed into shape. Also consider the $$ for trims. It would be distressing to cut and find you hadn't really time or money to keep it the way you want it.

But it really is "just hair" and it will grow out again if you're not happy. Good luck!

[Magalo]

Cut! I agree it looks a bit like a cape... one-length/blunt do not look the best on everyone. I think it looks better on thin/fine, very straight hair, and yours look so thick! If I was you, I would cut a medium/deep U hemline, and add a couple long layers to bring down the weight. It will feel fresher and lighter and I'm sure you'll already feel better about it!

[patienceneeded]

Magalo had a great suggestion, changing your hemline to a medium-deep U shape, or perhaps even a V shape could help alleviate the weight and blanket feeling.

Something I am considering when my hair gets longer...