Destroyed my hair… please tell me what to do :(

[Pale]

Hello, everyone. I have had a very depressing incident with my hair.

My hair is fine, prone to flyaways, and grows slowly. But I reached one of my length goals in January 2024 (BSL) and I wanted to celebrate with a new look. For a long time, I wanted platinum blonde hair. My hair is naturally very dark brown. So in February I bleached my hair. The whole process was a disaster, I ended up bleaching it 4 times trying to get the right color. I had actually given up after 3 times, gave up and dyed it black. Then I tried to strip the black out and bleach it again. That is when I got a chemical haircut. My hair looks horrible, but I’m afraid to do anything else to it because I don’t know what to do now. The front half of my hair is ear length, the back half is about 1 inch long and growing so slowly that I’m afraid the follicles might be damaged but I’m not sure. The color is an awful, “pee yellow” right now and every time I touch my hair, broken pieces come off on my fingers. Every time I see or think about my hair, I want to cry. I really wish I hadn’t tried this. I’m so embarrassed about it that I’ve been hiding under hats and scarves. This particular length is not flattering of my face. Every day feels horrible because of how I look.

I’v made such bad decisions about my hair this year that I don’t trust myself to make the next decision about it. I’d rather just do what people who know how to grow out their hair and not destroy it tell me to do, at this point. I feel the need to take the decision away from myself, I’m not thinking straight (clouded by desperation, embarrassment, depression, regret, and so on…)

What would you advise me to do in this situation? Thank you

[fairy_hair]

Here's my advice as someone who has grown to thigh length, cut it and growing again: oil the lengths and ends before washing, wash hair once or twice a week, shampoo and lots of conditioner, also use a hair mask before conditioner for extra softness, air dry, plait gently when dry if possible to avoid tangles, don't brush/comb while wet (unless curly), apply almond or argon oil to the ends sparingly between washes to decrease tangles (but don't overuse, you want to allow moisture in), sleep on a silky pillowcase to prevent breakage, and ultimately trim the hair until the damage grows out, and then continue the caring routine until the hair is your desired length. Unfortunately if the hair is so damaged I think the best you can do is care for it like a baby until it grows out. Best of luck!

[Lady Winchester]

I did that in high school, never again! At the time, I still had strawberry blonde hair (it's light to medium golden brown now, natural not dyed). Even brown hair has red in it, so the darker your hair is, the longer it takes to get it to your desired blonde shade. Though my hair has darkened by a few shades (not sure if it was caused by chemo or aging, perhaps a bit of both) I will never lighten my hair again (let the sun bleach it, since it's much more natural). I think I did it twice, and the second time when it turned this yucky orangey yellow color (which is probably the color you described), I put on a hoodie, headed to the nearest drugstore and bought a hair dye in a darker color (probably a darker shade of red, but it could have been a brown one, I'm not certain). I left it alone after this and didn't dye it again until my senior year when I went darker (first a light golden brown, then a chestnut brown to get rid of the red when a classmate said my hair was red, not brown). Much easier than going lighter! I left it alone after this and didn't dye it again until 2005 when I dyed it a darker shade of red. I probably won't dye it again until it turns gray/white (since it would totally wash me out), but will be using Natural Instincts in Medium Golden Brown (which is the closest to my current shade, since going back to my old color would be too much work, so I'll stick with the brown).

The best thing to do in this situation is just leave it alone until it becomes healthy again. Try out a new hobby or something that will get your mind off of your hair. Try losing it to chemo, and when it comes back it turns a couple of shades darker than you're used to (took a while to get used to my new brown color, since before I lost it to chemo, it used to be a medium strawberry blonde color, so I missed it at first, but unlike some redheads, had no desire to get it back, since my roots would only grow in brown anyway, so I'd look like any other brunette who dyes her hair blonde).

[Nightshade]

I destroyed my hair and fixed it! There's an old version of the article on damaged hair in my siggy, and an updated one with more pictures here:

https://www.nightblooming.com/2020/0...-hair-history/

[Pale]

Thank you, ladies! All of this is really helping me and I’m taking notes of every advice given. Thank you.

[Pale]

Oh my gosh, I’ve ordered tea from your Etsy shop before! You’re awesome

[Dark40]

Hello, everyone. I have had a very depressing incident with my hair.

My hair is fine, prone to flyaways, and grows slowly. But I reached one of my length goals in January 2024 (BSL) and I wanted to celebrate with a new look. For a long time, I wanted platinum blonde hair. My hair is naturally very dark brown. So in February I bleached my hair. The whole process was a disaster, I ended up bleaching it 4 times trying to get the right color. I had actually given up after 3 times, gave up and dyed it black. Then I tried to strip the black out and bleach it again. That is when I got a chemical haircut. My hair looks horrible, but I’m afraid to do anything else to it because I don’t know what to do now. The front half of my hair is ear length, the back half is about 1 inch long and growing so slowly that I’m afraid the follicles might be damaged but I’m not sure. The color is an awful, “pee yellow” right now and every time I touch my hair, broken pieces come off on my fingers. Every time I see or think about my hair, I want to cry. I really wish I hadn’t tried this. I’m so embarrassed about it that I’ve been hiding under hats and scarves. This particular length is not flattering of my face. Every day feels horrible because of how I look.

I’v made such bad decisions about my hair this year that I don’t trust myself to make the next decision about it. I’d rather just do what people who know how to grow out their hair and not destroy it tell me to do, at this point. I feel the need to take the decision away from myself, I’m not thinking straight (clouded by desperation, embarrassment, depression, regret, and so on…)

What would you advise me to do in this situation? Thank you

Hi! I am sooooo very sorry this has happened to you! I've also bleached my hair platinum blonde before too! But it wasn't such a disaster as yours came out to be. I really think yours was a disaster because you used he wrong kind of bleach for your hair. May I ask you....Do you have any other chemical services on your hair before you bleached it? When I bleached my hair back in 2002 I used this over the counter bleach called, "Revlon Frost & Glow Bleach Blonding Kit," and it surprisingly turned my hair white or platinum without any damage! Well, nowadays they've changed the name of the product to, "Revlon Color Effects Platinum." This is incase you really want your platinum blonde hair color back without any damage.

[Nightshade]

Oh my gosh, I’ve ordered tea from your Etsy shop before! You’re awesome

Awww that's so sweet of you to say! I hope you loved the tea, and find the articles helpful

[paulownia]

Very sorry to hear that.
Bleach is scary. I made a mistake playing with it in 2017 and even though all I did was a bleach bath and a medium blonde dye, my hair freaked out.
I ended with dirty dark orange colour and the outer layer felt and looked like cotton candy. I ran back to henna really fast and it got better after a few weeks.
I would recommend using gentle shampoo without sulfates. Don't forget about protein treatments, even if your hair might look bad after them - they will help restoring your hair. Silicones are also your friend.
And focus on scalp health so you will get healthy new growth. Eating a good diet, drinking water, scalp massages to stimulate blood circulation.
Best luck growing your hair back

[Pale]

From what I have read, bleaching over dark box dye increases the chances of chemical haircut. On top of that, it was my 4th time bleaching by that point. I wanted platinum and could not get to the right shade of lightness. That last time I think I just left it on too long, over remnants of black dye, and poof my hair was gone. I used an ion kit with developer from Sally’s.