Friend claims you should never brush curly hair..

My friend has really curly hair.. However its super tangled and I asked her how often she combs or brushes her hair and she said: never. Meaning she hasnt brushed her hair in several years.. No comb.. No brush.. Not even finger combing.. I told her its necessary to comb through hair even if its curly or straight and she said its impossible to comb/brush curly hair and that its not something to recomend and therefor she dosnt do it. Its really tangled up, like a messy birds nest, I can imagine it would hurt... She has big curls..

Is it true or not? Comb or not? What advice should I give her? I dont have curly hair so I dont know if this is true or not but her hair is one big mess. Even worse is when she takes a shower and rubs the shampoo in the hair back and forth up and down.

I don't dry brush. I have a pic in my album of why I don't. :lol: If I go by the curly consensus over at nc.com, lots of curlies don't dry brush, but a good sized minority do.

But, one has to detangle somehow. I detangle in the shower using a combination of finger combing and a wide tooth comb with a detangling conditioner.

Maybe she'd be willing to come here and join the curly group or else over to nc.com?

Without detangling of SOME form, I can't imagine the knots/mats it must have. I would imagine that kind of thing would lead to loads of damage. I'm not saying brush or even comb, but pick out or finger comb/weave out knots and mats.

I have curly hair and I never ever ever brush, comb or touch it after it is styled and drying. The reason is that touching it breaks up the curl pattern and causes frizz and pouffiness.

That being said, I do brush at other times. After it's dry, I finger-comb it to make sure it's not tangled. Sometimes I put a bit of coconut oil on my fingers when I do this to weigh it down and discourage frizz. I also frequently brush and comb it before a shower to spread the oils and dislodge product and scalp gunk. I also use a big comb while in the shower to detangle with conditioner (if she has fine hair, combing while wet may be too much. Fingers might be better.)

If you would like to suggest these ideas to your friend, feel free! HTH.

If I tried, I could get away entirely with fingercombing with conditioner in the shower. It's not so bad.

I don't generally dry brush, with the exception of sometimes using a baby brush around my scalp just to neaten things. Dry brushing usually means big...really, really big hair. I also do not comb my hair when it's dry because that will also lead to big hair, just not quite as fast.

But detangling is absolutely necessary. I use a seamless comb and carefully dantangle under the shower spray when I wash. I do this regularly. My hair is very tangly. If I don't get those tangles out, it's a true nightmare of matted knots that cause damage when I try to get them out.

Detangling is essential.

Sounds like she's on her way to natural dreadlocks. That or a "Polish plait" (that was the term, right?).

This is my experience: I'm only a bit curly but am in the withdrawal stages of giving up use of the brush. I really don't think it's a good idea, especially as my hair gets longer and the ends get older and more fragile. I also don't comb or finger-comb in the shower anymore because I could feel that I was stretching and pulling at my hair. I massage the conditioner in with my fingers and then squeeze out the excess water and conditioner without rinsing. When it's dry, I very carefully detangle and comb.

Does your friend want to be "saved"? Sometimes people don't. If she does, I think the best way to start would be to work a lot of conditioner through her hair, squeeze out the excess like I do, then let it dry. The conditioner should make the comb out a little easier than it would be otherwise. I suppose it could be done wet, as well. I really didn't notice a problem with that until I reached about hip length. Teach her about washing her scalp without messing her hair all around.

Oh, and there are detangling sprays that could be used, also. Perhaps as a friend you could detangle/comb it out for her.

I wonder if she heard that curlies should not brush or comb their hair while dry and took it a little too far or misunderstood? I can't imagine what my hair would look like if I NEVER detangled. I do a lot of finger detangling and using a shower comb in the shower with a lot of conditioner in my hair. Coconut oil helps me to detangle when it is dry. I remember not knowing how to take care of my hair when I was in junior high school and my sister took me to a salon. They almost never got all of the tangles out of my hair. I would brush the top of it and leave the underneath and it was very snarly. Poor girl. I would try to help her if you can at all.

One of the reasons to find some way to 'detangle' hair is to remove hairs that have shed naturally. We all have had the experience of finding a loose strand here and there rather sitting in our bonnet without being culled out through some kind of process.

If she has mats and terrible tangles, she could indeed be on her way to what's known as a bird's nest problem. In such dramatic cases, the hair often needs to be cut off to remove the matt. (Not unlike a matt that a dog might get.)

She is correct that brushing or even combing, at least while dry, will cause poofiness and break up the coiled locks of curls.

The recommendation I would have for her is use a very wide tooth comb in the shower, pad the hair with a lot of conditioner, and dip the comb in the conditioner, also coating the comb this way...and use the shower water to get a little order and distribute the conditioner. She can scrunch the hair when she gets out of the shower, and apply her 'oils' or leave in products.

BUT, here's the hitch. This is you writing in--not her. She believes what she believes, and she believes this is working for her. You can not dissuade her nor inform her: she will only be put off by any further remarks you might make or any advice you might suggest.

Therefore, the only other POSSIBLE comment I might make is something about have you ever heard of a long hair site? And see how receptive she is to that before sharing any URL.

And then leave it to her.

It's her hair and her life and her decision.

We've all had the experience of seeing hair we know exactly what to do for, but we have to keep our opinion to ourself because it's their life and their decision.

We educate here for ourselves, for our own interests -- not necessarily to be any version of an evangelist. Most do not take kindly to us involving ourselves in such matters.

Let it go. It's her life.
heidi w.