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View Full Version : Who struggled with wanting to give it the chop?



Isala
November 25th, 2011, 08:15 PM
Okay...
I've been growing my hair for about two years. I'm very moderately into it. I don't do much fancy stuff in terms of styles and care rituals- but I have this idea in my head of me, with one long, beautiful braid down my back. This, in my head, would make me a magical, special princess and I want that!

My SO is attracted to bobs! I am struggling with being happy with the way I look, and want to do all I can to be most attractive to him.
Let me be clear: he does not pressure me or make me feel bad EVER! This is just how I feel.

I have the idea that if I have short hair, I will appear more professional, confident, perhaps more attractive.

And my hair, sometimes I hate it. It is such a huge pain. I shed all over, washing is a pain, and I've got layers that make braiding not work so well.

Given all this, I headed to a generic salon, determined to give it the chop- and started crying. Yes, crying at the idea of losing all the strands I have lovingly cared for and nurtured for two years.

I really want to cut it. It makes sense to cut it. Given the pros and cons, I should CUT IT OFF!

But I'm afraid I can't bring myself to do it.

Has this happened to anyone else? I just don't get it. It's just hair... but... sigh

I just don't know how to cope.

invisiblebabe
November 25th, 2011, 08:27 PM
Emotions are indicators, and your emotions seem to be indicating that you should not cut your hair :) So I'd listen to that.

From your profile picture, I think that long hair suits you better than a bob would.

Amber_Maiden
November 25th, 2011, 08:31 PM
I've been through that, but mainly because of the henna in my hair wanting my hair to be fresh and natural again. My colour is basically the same colour as the henna in it, before I used indigo, it's just that I want my natural colour... It's very hard not to chop, but I know I'd be unhappy if I did.

If you are crying when heading to the hairdresser, don't do it.

sbhonda
November 25th, 2011, 08:33 PM
Personally, I hate having my hair short. I don't know how to care for it when it's short. And because my hair is wavy and very thick, I pretty much have to straighten it/blow dry it straight for it to look good at shoulder length or above. Right now I just let it air dry because I'm more concerned with its long term health than how it looks right now. And I can't put it up to get it out of my face when I need to without a bunch of bobby pins.

That said, when it was cut in a bob, I did like how it looked. I liked it a lot ...but only when I straightened it. Which was a pain to ALWAYS have to do. I'm glad I tried it once, but I can't wait for it to be longer again.

Basically, I'm saying that you should make sure you remember that a cut like a bob can require a lot of styling to look how its supposed to, depending on your hair type. For me, it meant at least and hour of blow-drying and/or straightening every time I washed my hair. And because I couldn't put it up, I really had no other option if I wanted it to look decent. I thought having less hair would be easier, but for me it really, really, really isn't. I'm sure it totally varies from person to person, so if you don't mind styling it, it might be a good option for you. But if washing is something that annoys you, styling might be worse.

To clarify, the only reason I cut it short was to cut off bleach damage. I'm glad I tried it. But I'm glad I also did it when I had a reason to, because if I had cut off a bunch of healthy hair to have what I have now, I would be incredibly sad.

Ravenwind
November 25th, 2011, 08:36 PM
I've been wanting to cut my hair into a long layered asymmetrical bob, not only because I think it's a cute hairstyle, but because it would get rid of all of my really dry ends in my shorter layers, and it would be a fresh start. I haven't cut it yet because I'm determined to have really long healthy hair, and I'm just not sure how I would like having hair that short :(

Helix
November 25th, 2011, 08:37 PM
The fact that you are hesitant means you shouldn't cut it.

If your SO likes bobs but you're attached to your hair then why not just get a wig?

Mairéad
November 25th, 2011, 08:47 PM
Also, isn't there a faux bob hair style? That way you could fake a bob and/or even see if it suits you.

Certainly your SO likes you for you and not your hairstyle, right? I think he'd rather have you in a hair cut you feel pretty in. Not everyone looks good in bobs even if that's what he thinks he likes.

I can understand wanting to make yourself more attractive for your SO (and for yourself) but I thought I was attracted to x,y, and z but that's not what I ended up with! (And I wouldn't want anyone else now).

If you're crying before even getting it cut then you shouldn't cut it. If that sentiment changes, sure. But right now doesn't seem to be the time to cut it. You have to make sure you WANT it.

Egana
November 25th, 2011, 09:00 PM
About every month (hello hormones!) I used to want to chop it all off. Now that I am heading into hormone hell (hello menopause!) I only want to chop it ever couple of months. I try to satisfy this desire by looking for a new hairstyle, or a new hair toy, or giving myself a long night of hair love (oil, finger combing, braiding, finger combing, bunning, finger combing, braiding... etc. Then I sleep on the oiled hair, and CWC in the morning. Normally this hair love behavior strengthens by bond with it, and all the moisture makes it happy and pretty in the morning.

If I am REALLY desperate, I will give it a microtrim, and clean up my mini-bangs (curls in the front that don't grow out anyway, so I keep 'em relatively short and let them curl up around my hairline) and that usually feeds the need...

DONT CUT unless YOU WANT TO. Please don't cut to please someone else, no matter HOW important he or she is to you. You can love and be loved no matter what your hair length is!

MrsGuther
November 25th, 2011, 09:12 PM
Okay...
I've been growing my hair for about two years. I'm very moderately into it. I don't do much fancy stuff in terms of styles and care rituals- but I have this idea in my head of me, with one long, beautiful braid down my back. This, in my head, would make me a magical, special princess and I want that!

My SO is attracted to bobs! I am struggling with being happy with the way I look, and want to do all I can to be most attractive to him.
Let me be clear: he does not pressure me or make me feel bad EVER! This is just how I feel.

I have the idea that if I have short hair, I will appear more professional, confident, perhaps more attractive.

And my hair, sometimes I hate it. It is such a huge pain. I shed all over, washing is a pain, and I've got layers that make braiding not work so well.

Given all this, I headed to a generic salon, determined to give it the chop- and started crying. Yes, crying at the idea of losing all the strands I have lovingly cared for and nurtured for two years.

I really want to cut it. It makes sense to cut it. Given the pros and cons, I should CUT IT OFF!

But I'm afraid I can't bring myself to do it.

Has this happened to anyone else? I just don't get it. It's just hair... but... sigh

I just don't know how to cope.

If you are crying at the thought of cutting your hair that is a big sign you should NOT CUT IT. I'm sure your SO will think you are beautiful with whatever hair you choose, so go with your gut feeling. Seems that you really don't want to cut it. Don't do it!!! That's 2 years of your life that you spent caring for and nurturing your hair. Don't waist it on a chop that you THINK will make you happy or more attractive to your SO. :cheese:

DarkSky
November 25th, 2011, 10:35 PM
I think the professionalism and confidence comes from within and how you carry yourself. For a more professional look you may just want to consider a stylish updo. My word of advice though would be to not cut it if you think you'll feel bad about it afterwards. Also, although he didn't pressure you to cut it, you may end up feeling some kind of resentment when or if you start to miss the long hair again.... and resentment is a terrible feeling.

Just wanted to add that when I was younger I would have these bouts of needing to get my hair cut shorter. Mainly because I think it would be cool and fun. Seriously though the amount of extra work that I had to put into my hair to get it to look decent when shorter would result in me strongly regretting my decision. Now that I'm older and wiser (ha haa) I know not to do it unless it was an absolute necessity :)

spike316
November 25th, 2011, 11:40 PM
I second (third? fourth? i dunno) the faux bob style: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P12ztriVN_Y

PaganPriestess
November 26th, 2011, 12:10 AM
My aunt has long hair, and she has a bobbed wig that she wears occasionally just to switch things up a bit. I suggest getting a cute wig & wearing it for your bf every now and then to get it out of your system without having to do a cut!

UltraBella
November 26th, 2011, 12:20 AM
When I cut over a foot of length off my hair, I was excited ! I couldn't wait to do it and I was very happy. Tears indicate that you should not cut, you are not ready.

MonaLisa
November 26th, 2011, 04:22 AM
you don't want to cut it. So don't :)

lesbia
November 26th, 2011, 04:40 AM
You should cut only if you are 100% sure of it in my opinion ;)