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Henrietta
June 2nd, 2010, 06:19 PM
My best friend ever!

Yesterday she asked me how long I am going to grow. I said- knee. She was as scared as if I said that I won't take shower for the next ten years.
And she said it will look bad. Especially on me. And I will be able to just braid my hair so I will look everyday the same. So I told her that I know more updos for waist (which she consider as long hair) than for BSL. And it was end of discussion for then.

But today, when I didn't even mention about any hair, she suddenly said "Don't grow your hair to knee! Grow to..." and she put her hand on waist. Sorry, waist isn't long for me, most of girls in my class have waist long hair or could have it in few months without trimming. I want LONG hair.

What's wrong?

I don't care that it's not usual. In fact, unique look is one of the reasons to grow for me. But she thinks it's weird to have such long hair.
I've been wondering... maybe everyone thinks like that here? Maybe if I will have knee length hair people will think I am weird and won't talk to me?

Anyway, she shouldn't said that. Especially when she KNOWS that I love long hair. Ok, she could say "I don't like long hair", but she shouldn't have told me that I can't grow mine!

Oh, so I asked her, as I was curious, what she thinks about TBL.
"Too long."

Oh, ok.

And my second friend said the same. I just finished talking to her using Skype because she moved to UK last week.

I am totally alone with my growing I see.

spidermom
June 2nd, 2010, 06:34 PM
Well, you have us.

My daughter said at first that my goal length is too long. Now she is one of my biggest supporters and won't hear talk of me cutting my hair. Maybe your friend will like your extra-long hair more than she thinks she will.

And if she doesn't, no big loss. It's your hair. Do what you like, not what she likes.

Dream0331
June 2nd, 2010, 06:35 PM
Don`t take it to heart, it`s your hair to grow as long as you wish no matter what anyone else thinks. We`re all here for you with your growing! :)

Henrietta
June 2nd, 2010, 06:36 PM
I am glad I have you all.:heart::heart::heart::heartbeat:
Thank you If I won't, I'd probably stop growing. Here I know that knee length hair is not something weird.

And I know I should do what I want, not what she wants, but still I am afraid that people will think I am weird if I have long hair. If she thinks so, and she is extremely tolerant...?

marikamt
June 2nd, 2010, 06:37 PM
well said SM!
I think people have a 'vision' of what they think a certain length looks like... but when they see healthy, pretty hair at that length, their perceptions change...
either way, do what YOU love, it is your hair!

spidermom
June 2nd, 2010, 06:40 PM
Everybody is weird in some way, so don't let it bother you if somebody thinks you're weird. If it weren't long hair, it would be something else.

Foxknot
June 2nd, 2010, 06:47 PM
What she said to you was rather uncalled for, but remember: it's your hair, not theirs, and you can grow it as long as you wish. ^^ We're all here for you. ♥

mira-chan
June 2nd, 2010, 06:49 PM
I am glad I have you all.:heart::heart::heart::heartbeat:
Thank you If I won't, I'd probably stop growing. Here I know that knee length hair is not something weird.

And I know I should do what I want, not what she wants, but still I am afraid that people will think I am weird if I have long hair. If she thinks so, and she is extremely tolerant...?
I have thigh length hair I have yet to be told I'm weird for it. Other things such as my costume making? Yes. Hair length? No.

She likely won't even notice that it's unusual and "weird" as it grows. Not actually seeing the hair length in action right there is helping conjure up some strange vision of the hair I think. Once it is that "weird" length, I don't think the too long comment would work well as the answer of "My hair is that length/longer than that" usually produces and awkward "Oh..." at worst unless the speaker is rather rude.

As for no one speaking to me, I can assure you that hasn't happened. If someone didn't become my friend due to my hair length, then good riddance I say as I'm sure they'd find other things they didn't like about me other than the hair.

Lielananna
June 2nd, 2010, 06:53 PM
You have to do what you want to do, no matter what other people think of it. I'm at knee now and the only comments about my hair I get are that its really long and pretty and they are jealous :p. I do get people looking at me strange when I say I'm still growing it out and want it to reach the floor, but I've gotten used to that over the years and have learned to ignore it.

JenniferNoel
June 2nd, 2010, 07:01 PM
Ew, pushy people... I know what you mean, people need to keep their opinions to their selves sometimes, of course, it's relatively understandable that knee length would come as a bit of a shock to someone like her, but really, I hate it when people do that.
Knee length is awesome and I'm sure you will have rockin' hair at that length! Keep growing, do what you want, it's your hair, and I know you'll look great!

ItalianFlower
June 2nd, 2010, 07:07 PM
My guess is your friend probably had someone that she knew that had knee length hair and it probably looked awful to her... (anyone who reads this, I'm not saying it is BAD if your hair looks like this) maybe hardly washed, maybe really-split-end-y, maybe really fairy-tail end-y, you know, just something that she now has the 'prototypical' view of knee-length hair. I had a friend who was like that...her sister has really long hair, but the girl barely bathes, much less cares for her hair, and it is completely repulsive to my friend. When we first met I mentioned that I was growing my hair out and she was like, "OH NO! Long hair looks horrible!" so I took my whole 25 inches down from my bun and she was like, "Wow, it's so shiny, and soft, and curly...okay, I take it back. Grow baby grow!"

Just saying, she'll probably change her mind when she sees your glorious hair. And I wouldn't worry :)

Carolyn
June 2nd, 2010, 07:08 PM
You have us to talk hair with. The less said the better with "real life" people unless you know for sure that the person is as into long hair as you are. Never bring up the topic yourself. If someone else does, be vague and non committal about your hair goals. For example if someone asks you how long your plan to grow it say something like...oh maybe a bit longer, I dunno, I'll know when I get there. Then drop the subject.

I see that you are 18 and not quite to waist yet. By the time your hair is waist length, you'll be out of school and off with new friends very likely. Things will change a lot for you in the next few years. Hair grows slowly and changes slowly. No one is likely to notice your hair much unless you talk about it a lot or wear it down a lot.

myrrhmaiden
June 2nd, 2010, 07:23 PM
I think it is fairly normal for people to have this sort of reaction to situations they have not yet encountered. I have seen it relating to many things, not just hair. Stay confident and happy with your choice, it is right for you. That's why they have hair on their own heads, so they can choose hairstyles and lengths for themselves.

As a side note, I think well cared for knee length hair is breathtaking. :heartbeat

Henrietta
June 2nd, 2010, 07:29 PM
You have us to talk hair with. The less said the better with "real life" people unless you know for sure that the person is as into long hair as you are. Never bring up the topic yourself. If someone else does, be vague and non committal about your hair goals. For example if someone asks you how long your plan to grow it say something like...oh maybe a bit longer, I dunno, I'll know when I get there. Then drop the subject.

I see that you are 18 and not quite to waist yet. By the time your hair is waist length, you'll be out of school and off with new friends very likely. Things will change a lot for you in the next few years. Hair grows slowly and changes slowly. No one is likely to notice your hair much unless you talk about it a lot or wear it down a lot.

I read it few times. It's reasonable, rational and meaningful. And it's true. I have to think this way, it helps already.

And I've been reading the whole thread few times in a row. I was wrong when I said I am alone:)

adiapalic
June 2nd, 2010, 07:34 PM
Anyone who avoids talking to a person based on the length of their hair is not worth talking to anyway. I think knee length hair is amazing looking, and personally I find people with hair that long leave quite an impression on me, even if we never speak... more intrigue I suppose. :)

Igor
June 2nd, 2010, 07:36 PM
Every single boyfriend I’ve ever had (including the current) has voiced that any length longer than what I had at the time I asked was “creepy”
As in; the boyfriend I had when I was at BSL found waist length creepy, the boyfriend I had at waist length found classic creepy and the boyfriend I had at classic… You get the point :wink:

I don’t have a scientific explanation but it seems to me that “longer than I have now right now” always provokes a weird reaction in people :shrug: Grow to your knees and they will probably be happy with that, then tell them you want it to your ankles and they will find something weird with that idea

Some things you just need to roll your eyes at and move on

windinherhair
June 2nd, 2010, 07:47 PM
Yes you have us. :grouphug: My hair is at classic length now so I have really just about met my goal. No one has been negative to me yet about this length, for the ones who have seen it. A friend of mine at work did ask me the other day "Don't you ever get bored with it?" I said "No, but I love long hair!" It is so easy for me to have it long, and it is nice being able to relate with everyone here! :)

mizk5110
June 2nd, 2010, 07:48 PM
My DH's reaction when I told him I wanted to grow to waist-length was "Oh, no - that's too long! Just grow it out to where it was when we met." (a hair past BSL, if you'll pardon the pun) BUT>>>> Now that I'm just shy of BSL, he tells me at least once a week how he can't wait to see how long I let my hair grow. :cheese:

If you do stay friends with these girls, there's a chance their opinions won't change. But there's also a chance their opinions WILL change. I originally only wanted to grow my hair to waist, because the only person I know that has hair longer than that (just past classic right now) hasn't had a trim in 5 years, has splits to her waist, and doesn't care for it well at all. Now that I know how beautiful hair can be at longer lengths, I can't wait to see how mine looks long! Like others have said, maybe they just need to know what healthy long hair looks like.

Henrietta
June 2nd, 2010, 08:00 PM
Every single boyfriend I’ve ever had (including the current) has voiced that any length longer than what I had at the time I asked was “creepy”
As in; the boyfriend I had when I was at BSL found waist length creepy, the boyfriend I had at waist length found classic creepy and the boyfriend I had at classic… You get the point :wink:

I don’t have a scientific explanation but it seems to me that “longer than I have now right now” always provokes a weird reaction in people :shrug: Grow to your knees and they will probably be happy with that, then tell them you want it to your ankles and they will find something weird with that idea

Some things you just need to roll your eyes at and move on

I see! Probably people are afraid of changes. Maybe if I won't say anything it would be fine. But suddenly I somehow forced my friends to imagine that I have knee length hair. So they are shocked.
I still think that it shouldn't be like "don't grow!", but at least I start to understand why ther are shocked.

LadyLongLocks
June 2nd, 2010, 08:31 PM
She probably never saw knee length hair on anyone since it is rare. That is an extreme length to most. I know, mine is now past my knees. I get weird reactions.
You should do what you want, plus it is fun growing to knee length!
Enjoy your journey and ignore the bad comments!

IcarusBride
June 2nd, 2010, 08:53 PM
Some people have only seen bad examples of long hair, and for that reason are against it. For example, when I was younger I did not know anyone with REALLY long hair. The longest hair I'd ever seen was tailbone length, my best friend's hair, and she did not take good care of it. Her entire hair was split ends all the way to the root, and it looked like 'steal wool'. She refused to trim even just a tiny bit to stop the split ends from spreading, and she used only shampoo, every day, with no conditioner. Because if her hair, I thought that ALL hair got horribly damaged once it got long. Now, of course I know better!
I think your friend's attitude will change once your hair gets that long and is still healthy and beautiful! Good luck!

jane53
June 2nd, 2010, 09:01 PM
I have one friend who constantly pressures me to cut my hair. Ignore ignore ignore! The rest of my friends see me for who I am. My long hair is part of me.

misstwist
June 2nd, 2010, 09:12 PM
Yesterday she asked me how long I am going to grow. I said- knee. She was as scared as if I said that I won't take shower for the next ten years.
And she said it will look bad. Especially on me. And I will be able to just braid my hair so I will look everyday the same. So I told her that I know more updos for waist (which she consider as long hair) than for BSL. And it was end of discussion for then.

Often it's better not to discuss your hair goals with others, even when the ask directly. You can say something like "I haven't decided yet." If the other person expresses an opinion on how long it should be you aren't being attacked on a personal level and you haven't given them anything to "worry" about.

I've just decided that it's private information that others don't need to know, like my weight and my sex life. :) You don't have to tell people things just because they ask.

ravenreed
June 2nd, 2010, 09:15 PM
I had a friend tell me that if my hair got much longer that it would be "freakishly long." This young woman had really short hair and orange eyeshadow. We obviously don't have the same tastes so I did not take it to heart. It is okay if not everyone likes my hair goals.

missfortune9335
June 2nd, 2010, 09:24 PM
Ah well, seing as she is your very best friend sometimes that is the trade off for being so close/comfortable with someone. They don't feel the need to filter their thoughts, which isn't always bad. She's just giving you her honest opinion, if it were me the next time she brings it up I would say something like "I really value our friendship, and I'm glad you feel like you can tell me anything. I know how you feel about this, but I still want to do it so we're going to have to agree to disagree on this one. It's something that's really important to me so I'd appreciate it if you didn't bring it up anymore" then say again how much you love her friendship and that should be the end of it. A good friend is very much worth working things like this out. Best of luck with your growing! :flower:

MissManda
June 2nd, 2010, 09:34 PM
That is your friend's opinion and I wouldn't take it to heart or worry about it. It isn't like your hair is going to suddenly have a mega growth spurt and get that long overnight, which for some strange reason seems to be what people imagine when I tell them I want to grow my almost-waist length hair out to classic. That, and they might have never seen gorgeous long hair before.

I remember when I started growing my hair out, DBF kept telling me that SL, APL, BSL, and waist length all look very lovely on me but I shouldn't grow it any longer than it is (at least by a few inches). He has said the same exact thing at every hair length milestone I have reached so far.

SL: "I like you longer hair on you. It looks very cute, but you might not want it to get longer."
APL: "That is a nice length on you. I really like it. You might not want to grow it any longer because it looks so good."
Between BSL and Waist: "This is a great length on you. I don't think you should grow your hair out to your butt because it will get in the way all the time and because it will make you look shorter*. It looks so beautiful already, so keep it like it is."

*I am very petite at a mighty height of ~5'1". There seems to be this fashion "rule" that states petite women shouldn't have long hair. I disagree because short hair makes me look shorter and who says I want to look taller anyway? I like being short.

He doesn't nag me or anything. He's only mentioned it these few times and that's it. It isn't like he's going to force me to chop or anything and the length of my hair doesn't seem to bother him considering he can't keep his hands out of it, tells me how beautiful it is, and complains when I wear updos or braids for several days in a row. :D

Your friends might change their opinion, they might not. Just do what makes you feel happy and beautiful.

So I think DBF's going to love my hair when it reaches my goal length. Hee hee. I hope the same is true with your friends.

dreamsofthewind
June 2nd, 2010, 10:08 PM
oh honey, I am in the same boat. my friends and family all think any hair past tbl is just gross. I| am just passing bsl, and they are all telling me to keep it this length. Noooo thank you! I am growing to classic even if it means losing some of my friends. Long flowing locks are something I have wanted all my life. Stick to your guns girl, we're here for you!

GoddesJourney
June 2nd, 2010, 10:22 PM
Grow it to knee length. Enjoy every step of the way. People may think it's weird but they will still see that it is beautiful. If they don't? You still can see your own beauty.

Cinnamon Hair
June 2nd, 2010, 10:31 PM
I am totally alone with my growing I see.

Not at all. You have us! :D When you get to knee you can prove to them how awesome it looks.

I think maybe your friend is saying not to grow that long because either she can't picture that length on you, or if she has seen super long hair maybe it was not cared for properly. Or it could be that she is stylish and fears any look that is not mainstream. Doesn't matter. It is your hair, grow it however long you please.

Flynn
June 2nd, 2010, 10:32 PM
I experienced the opposite when I decided to go from hip to pixie a few years ago. My closest friends told me not to, that it would look awful, that everyone would think I'm a lesbian, and so on, and then I did it.... and everyone was stunned, and told me how great it looked, how well it suited me, and how much better it looked on me than very long hair.

So, moral of the story: your friends don't have a clue what will look good on you until they see it.

Kaijah
June 2nd, 2010, 10:41 PM
I think pretty much everyone has you covered on the "it's a big shock" department, but I still wanna say that probably has a lot to do with it. It sounds like a big change, and I'd think if you had knee length hair and went "oh, I'm chopping to chin!" lots of people would freak out just as much as they do hearing you want to go loooong.

Also, I think hair length is another one of those things that has a lot to do with personal tastes, like styles of dress or your favorite color or whatever. There are probably some styles of fashion that make you think "I would NEVER wear that!" even as someone else is thinking the same thing about something you like. You can't please everyone all the time, and all that. :D

So I guess I'm just saying (in a long winded, rambling fashion) grow as long as you want, and enjoy the trip! Don't let anyones comments hold you back~

Allen
June 2nd, 2010, 10:52 PM
Do what makes you happy and forget what other people think. Life is too short to be just another brick in the wall.

BlueMuse
June 3rd, 2010, 02:11 AM
Eh, I specialize in weird. I have tons of flashy clips, wear fancy dresses on a regular basis, and have a tiny fascinator hat I call my "tiny pimp hat" (it's purple leopard print with black feathers and a huge rhinestone diamond). Some people just find really long hair creepy, others it just isn't their thing, and everyone is entitled to their opinion. If she stops talking to you because your hair is "too long" count your blessings that you found out what kind of person she was before you invested any more time in her.

One of my best friends really doesn't think long hair on girls is attractive and he gives me absolutely no trouble about mine. I think you'll find that you can coexist fairly well with someone who doesn't see eye to eye with you on hair length once it comes down to it. (Though you might have to deal with the annoying "you should cut your hair!" comments). I just shrug and feel grateful that my friends are concerned about me and want me to look my best.

jera
June 3rd, 2010, 02:22 AM
Do what makes you happy and forget what other people think. Life is too short to be just another brick in the wall.

Haha ! I agree with Allen. :p

My goal is knee length hair also. I think it's not weird but beautiful. It's sort of an anachronism to have super long hair in the 21st century. It takes me back to a time and place, lifestyle, which exists only in the shadows of memories or the pages of a book. If people think I'm weird because of my long hair, it's their problem. I'm not on this earth to please anyone but me. :)

Purdy Bear
June 3rd, 2010, 04:18 AM
Its your body and its your hair, dont listen to anything negative, just enjoy growing your beautiful hair.

Loreley
June 3rd, 2010, 05:15 AM
Unfortunately, many people think this. :( In my country very long hair is rare. I rarely see anyone who has longer hair than waist-length. I'm the member of a forum there and someone asked what people think about exremely long hair. I was shocked when I read the replies. Only a few girls said that they liked it. The most of them said it was disgusting because long hair must be demaged. And they don't understand why girls have long hair if they always wear it up. Someone wrote that girls with extremely long hair want people to watch them all the time but they are very rude if someone wants to touch their hair. :disgust:
Fortunately, my friend thinks that long hair is beautiful and she wants to grow it very long, too. I was a bit upset after I read the replies but it must be much worse when your friend thinks this... :sad

Henrietta
June 3rd, 2010, 05:36 AM
Often it's better not to discuss your hair goals with others, even when the ask directly. You can say something like "I haven't decided yet." If the other person expresses an opinion on how long it should be you aren't being attacked on a personal level and you haven't given them anything to "worry" about.

I've just decided that it's private information that others don't need to know, like my weight and my sex life. :) You don't have to tell people things just because they ask.

I like it:)
I don't know why what she said made me so sad. Now, when I read all your replies, I will grow to knee with even more passionate attitude to long hair:)
Probably I will enjoy having really long hair so much that I won't care about negative opinions:)

Thank you all very, very, very, very much:) :chocolate:for everyone! :) :*

BritishBraider
June 3rd, 2010, 07:16 AM
I agree with the others, this is your hair and you get to make the decisions. If she has a problem she will just have to deal with it. I think your hair's beautiful :)

Drynwhyl
June 3rd, 2010, 07:27 AM
Ack, she'll get used to it with time. :)

Feng-Shui
June 3rd, 2010, 07:43 AM
As I my husband for the first time said I wish knee length hair.

He regarded me frightened.:bigeyes:

It was only the surprise because it is very rarely.:lol:

Like that it was not a negative opinion.

I think many people to introduce itself cannot which it live before never have seen. :flower:

orbiting
June 3rd, 2010, 07:56 AM
To be honest - not everyone likes super-long hair. I have no desire to grow my hair past my waist - ever. I think longer than that it's too much hassle.

I never saw your friend saying she wouldn't talk to you any more (someone said something about that) and just because you're friends doesn't mean every single thing you say to each other has to be sunshine and rainbows. More tact could be implied, but I'd be sure to let a friend who said "I want knee length hair" know that I didn't find it attractive, but they were welcome to do what they wanted with their hair.

Tap Dancer
June 3rd, 2010, 08:38 AM
And I know I should do what I want, not what she wants, but still I am afraid that people will think I am weird if I have long hair. If she thinks so, and she is extremely tolerant...?
Even if she doesn't tell anyone, your hair will eventually grow to your knees. People will always have negative opinions about everything. Learn to ignore them! Your opinion is the only one that matters when it comes to yourself.

breezefaerie
June 3rd, 2010, 09:03 AM
I've read a saying on this site over and over .... "I am not here to decorate your world"
Remember you aren't here to decorate theirs, and as long as you are happy with your hair that's all that should matter.

Henrietta
June 3rd, 2010, 11:35 AM
I should buy a T-shirt with this sentence. "I am not here to decorate your world."

Jessikinz
June 3rd, 2010, 02:20 PM
Do not let comments like that change your mind about your hair. You are growing your hair for YOU not for them. You don't need anyone's approval to grow your hair a certain length.

Good luck with your goal for knee length! It's a fun journey growing to a certain goal. That should be enough to keep you happy and motivated. :):blossom:

Xan
June 3rd, 2010, 03:38 PM
Do what makes you happy that is just her opinion, everyone has one. I personally love knee length, that is my current goal and if I can make that then its to the floor. Grow grow grow if you want Knee or longer looks stunnng I'm behind you.

naereid
June 4th, 2010, 04:56 AM
Yes, most people think hair longer than TB is creepy. But to hell with people. You're not hurting yourself or anyone around you by having long hair.

Imagine yourself in 10 years time, thinking "who knows where my hair would be today if I started growing my hair out in 2010". Don't let that happen to you, girl. :grnbiggri

Henrietta
June 4th, 2010, 05:00 AM
Yes, most people think hair longer than TB is creepy. But to hell with people. You're not hurting yourself or anyone around you by having long hair.

Imagine yourself in 10 years time, thinking "who knows where my hair would be today if I started growing my hair out in 2010". Don't let that happen to you, girl. :grnbiggri

Now I think "who knows where my hair would be today if I started growing my hair out in 1998." And I know that- 215 cm, it's more than floor. I am 176 cm tall.
You're right, I won't let this thing make me sad again!

naereid
June 4th, 2010, 05:08 AM
Now I think "who knows where my hair would be today if I started growing my hair out in 1998." And I know that- 215 cm, it's more than floor. I am 176 cm tall.
You're right, I won't let this thing make me sad again!
That's the spirit! :bottomsup:

Henrietta
June 4th, 2010, 05:19 AM
That's the spirit!:bottomsup:

Yes, let's make a toast for my new growing energy:) :bottomsup:

Xan
June 4th, 2010, 08:53 PM
Yes, let's make a toast for my new growing energy

I'm with you I had pressure from my family telling me my hair was to long so I cut 3" not a big loss but sad I did it.

error
June 4th, 2010, 10:43 PM
i bet you shes just jealous!!! people are envious yuck!

C_Bookworm
June 5th, 2010, 02:24 AM
well said SM!
I think people have a 'vision' of what they think a certain length looks like... but when they see healthy, pretty hair at that length, their perceptions change...



Totally agree. In my area, there aren't that many people with pretty, long hair. There are quite a few bikers with really ratty hair. And if you look at all the actresses with extensions that either look nasty from not washing enough (like Britney Spears) or weird and sort of disconnected from their heads (paris hilton) or just trashy (miley cyrus) it makes more sense why they don't like long hair. Keep growing and I'm sure you'll impress her.

Henrietta
June 5th, 2010, 04:16 PM
Totally agree. In my area, there aren't that many people with pretty, long hair. There are quite a few bikers with really ratty hair. And if you look at all the actresses with extensions that either look nasty from not washing enough (like Britney Spears) or weird and sort of disconnected from their heads (paris hilton) or just trashy (miley cyrus) it makes more sense why they don't like long hair. Keep growing and I'm sure you'll impress her.

In my area there aren't many people with long hair too. Maybe that's why she think's it's creepy.
I will do what I want to do :)

Jules diamond
June 5th, 2010, 09:57 PM
I'm sorry your friends aren't being so supportive right now. Maybe they'll come around when they see how gorgeous your hair is as it gets longer.

Henrietta
June 7th, 2010, 06:41 AM
I'm sorry your friends aren't being so supportive right now. Maybe they'll come around when they see how gorgeous your hair is as it gets longer.

Hopefully they will...
I am moving out from home this autumn to go to university, I don't know how my new friends will react to the fact that I grow my hair to knee... We'll see. Maybe I won't say. "Hi, I'm E. and I grow my hair to knee", since such information makes people confused as I see, but someday they will know anyway. I WILL have VISIBLY long hair. But until then they will get used to id hopefully...

Carolyn
June 7th, 2010, 07:14 AM
I think you'll find that once you get to college, it's a different dynamic than high school. Or at least I hope you will! When you go off to school in the fall you will be going with long hair. Your new friends will know you with long hair. I doubt your hair will much much of a topic of conversation. You may meet other long haired people at school who are like minded :)

Superfine
June 7th, 2010, 10:19 AM
Well, my hair was not anywhere even near BSL a few years ago & a best friend who always had below shoulder, thick golden brown hair said my shoulder length hair made me look older. "When we get older, long hair pulls your face down". I cut it & somehow never thought of putting it up. I was about 50 at the time & all these cute updos were not so prevalent. Sorry I cut it now, but I enjoyed the short hair for years until 2007 - begin grow. Funny how friends influence us.

TXbarbie
June 8th, 2010, 04:09 AM
Everybody loves to spout off their opinions. Just take it in stride - if she wasn't complaining about your hair, she'd be commenting on your makeup or something :D Girls will be girls, don't let it get to you! :flowers:

Henrietta
June 8th, 2010, 04:15 AM
Everybody loves to spout off their opinions. Just take it in stride - if she wasn't complaining about your hair, she'd be commenting on your makeup or something :D Girls will be girls, don't let it get to you! :flowers:

I have never looked at this issue this way. But it's true- girls will be girls, and somehow, thouth she may not be aware of it, it's possible that she's just enviuos.

And, yes, I believe my new friends at univ. won't treat my goal as something weird. I know than university students society is more... elastic. I will meet many different people there and my long hair won't be weird among them :):)

Henrietta
June 17th, 2010, 11:33 AM
Ok, I will rant and rave now.
The same girl. Today. Now. We are writing messages using Skype as she is abroad.
First of all suddenly she said she is going to grow her hair to waist. She has curly APL hair, very, very, very thin.
What? Long hair? Not long ago I heard long hair is creepy. And waist is long for her.
Then she of course had to start telling me that knee length hair is too long, face looks awful and the whole body too and...
I wrote her everything I know about cones, taking care of hair when one is going to grow it... good luck. And I am not going to talk about hair with her ever again. I may just give her advice if she will ask for it. But I will never ever talk to her about MY hair. No.

Charlottchen
June 17th, 2010, 11:55 AM
Aw, just let her talk, really. Some people can't make up their minds. It's you who has to be happy with your hair, not her or anyone else :)

Henrietta
June 17th, 2010, 12:06 PM
I know. But... she is going to be a psychologist. Great attitude now. Having an opinion is one thing. I wouldn't mind her saying "I don't like knee length hair" or even "I don't etc. on you". But "Don't grow because I don't like it''?! And now suddenly she is growing her hair.
Of course she had to remind me that hair longer than waist is TOO long and EVERYONE looks weird with such hair... What for? She knows I won't change my mind. But, if she wanted to make me mad- conratuations this time.

Charlottchen
June 17th, 2010, 12:10 PM
Maybe she was jealous? :/

trillcat
June 17th, 2010, 12:13 PM
Grow with joy!
Let your friend talk her, umm, stuff. People sometimes just like to hear their own voice telling others what for, disregard that for what it is, a big pile of poo.
I get reactions to my hair from family now that is longer that than BSL, and if the hair gods shine upon me, it's going classic.
It is too long, I am too old to have hair this long, why would you want hair that long, blah blah, and oh, shut the heck up.
Did you not notice this is MY hair, not yours, and by the way, you can have soccer mom hair but my hair is going to be long.
Did I mention shut the heck up all you haters of long hair?
Wow, that was a bit of a rant, sorry.

evampr18
June 17th, 2010, 12:15 PM
it sucks cause we always take our friends opinions into consideration, but in this particular case DONT listen to her. its not constructive criticism. and long long loooooooooong hair is beautiful.

everyone of my friends thinks knee length is horrible, but i stick to my purpose. ;p and my boyfriend is the sweetest guy and goes with almost everything i say, BUT, when i introduce the idea of having tailbone length hair he freaks out.

i dont care what they think. i want me some ridiculous gorgeous long hair! :) you should too!

maybe sparrow
June 17th, 2010, 01:20 PM
My goal is waist length, but my sister recently told me, (and I quote):

"don't become one of those crazy lady's with hair down to their knees who don't cut their hair for ten years"

Maybe there's some unwritten but official rule about knee length being the official Crazy Lady length?

trillcat
June 17th, 2010, 01:32 PM
My goal is waist length, but my sister recently told me, (and I quote):

"don't become one of those crazy lady's with hair down to their knees who don't cut their hair for ten years"

Maybe there's some unwritten but official rule about knee length being the official Crazy Lady length?
there is, you must have cats though. :D

nowxisxforever
June 17th, 2010, 04:44 PM
You *do* have us. It's OK.

It's not important for them to like your hair - it's important for YOU to like your hair! I'm pretty fortunate to have a bunch of longhaired folk (and longhaired at heart) folks around me. My two best friends in high school had waist-tailbone, and DGF is growing her hair back out to probably tailbone or so, DBF has waist-length, and my roomie is encroaching on tailbone. :)

EtherealOde
June 17th, 2010, 05:00 PM
The thing with being young is how opinions and perceptions are so ever-changing. it is just the way the young mind works. The way you want your hair is the way it will be. What your friend thinks about it is likely going to change several times in the next year. And by then, you will probably be in a totally different crowd of friends anyway. Good luck on your goal, I hope you reach it with thick and lovely ends and a heart full of happiness. :)

PF Graham
June 17th, 2010, 06:20 PM
Hello?

Did anybody say "find a new best friend".

Seriously, she's whacked - first she hates it and now she wants it.

Hmmmm (he says putting one finger to his temple and looking like he's fully in thought), with friends like her, who needs enemies...

Dragon
June 29th, 2010, 05:08 AM
Maybe she was jealous? Dont worry bout what she and other people think. Its your hair. And as long as you like it, thats all that matters.

Henrietta
June 30th, 2010, 04:15 PM
Hello?

Did anybody say "find a new best friend".

Seriously, she's whacked - first she hates it and now she wants it.

Hmmmm (he says putting one finger to his temple and looking like he's fully in thought), with friends like her, who needs enemies...

I don't. I have enough with her, really.

She's jealous probably. You're right, people.

Eryka
June 30th, 2010, 05:30 PM
As someone who's been at knee length for many years, I say ignore them all and do what you like. There will always be those that comment, criticise, and tell you whats "right". Eventually you will learn to listen without hearing them. Same with the donating of hair issue. Just realize that you're in for the long haul and that its only hard right now because its a new concept. With the time it will take to get to knee length, you will be a ninja at dealing with such issues.

Grow it chica, grow it!

I'd like to add that there's nothing cooler than wearing a dress and feeling your hair below the bottom of the dress. Its an out of this world experience. Maybe that is some happy hair motivation.

AZDesertRose
June 30th, 2010, 06:20 PM
Originally Posted by maybe sparrow http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?p=1132329#post1132329)
My goal is waist length, but my sister recently told me, (and I quote):

"don't become one of those crazy lady's with hair down to their knees who don't cut their hair for ten years"

Maybe there's some unwritten but official rule about knee length being the official Crazy Lady length?

there is, you must have cats though. :D

LOL, I love it!

To the OP, let the haters hate. It's your hair; wear it the way you darn well please.

MercuryChaos
June 30th, 2010, 08:41 PM
I don't get people who are absolutely opposed to something that someone else wants to do with their hair. I may be biased because of all the times my mom freaked out when I wanted to dye my hair purple/shave it all off/etc. but I think people just tend to overreact to those kind of things. (My mom was totally convinced that if I shaved my head before starting college then I would have no friends. I did it anyway, and pretty much the exact opposite thing happened — it made a nice talking point.)

Toadstool
July 1st, 2010, 02:59 AM
There's no reason friends have to agree on hair and no reason to think she's jealous. Most "normal" people dislike knee length hair.

My best friend is not keen on my hair. It doesn't matter. That's not why we're friends.

Henrietta
July 1st, 2010, 03:14 AM
Originally Posted by maybe sparrow http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?p=1132329#post1132329)
My goal is waist length, but my sister recently told me, (and I quote):

"don't become one of those crazy lady's with hair down to their knees who don't cut their hair for ten years"

Maybe there's some unwritten but official rule about knee length being the official Crazy Lady length?
LOL, I love it!

To the OP, let the haters hate. It's your hair; wear it the way you darn well please.

It seems like there is such rule. Weird thing:D
I am trying to avoid the hair topic now. So far it's fine. She doesn't ask, I don't answer.

Melisande
July 1st, 2010, 03:56 AM
OT: MercuryChaos, I like your ava! Aubrey Beardsley, isn't it? OT off/

Henrietta, don't read too much into your friend's remarks about hair. Not everybody takes hair seriously as we do here.

I admit I'm not fond of the "probably envious" explanation. There are many people who simply don't like long hair and are not the least bit envious of long hair. It looks unkempt to them or too wild or out of proportion or unfashionable or whatever. then again, when fashion changes, their opinions change. This is human. My opinions change, too.

So just avoid the topic or agree to disagree. That's what i do with my mother who hates long hair and keeps telling me it makes me old, looks ridiculous on me etc. That's her opinion, and she's entitled to it.

And don't warm yourself up by mixing things like her study plans etc into the batter. It doesn't matter. I've known professors for psychology who said tactless things. Nobody is perfect.

Just let it go. Be at peace with yourself. You can't please everyone, anyway. Why try?

Henrietta
July 1st, 2010, 04:06 AM
OT: MercuryChaos, I like your ava! Aubrey Beardsley, isn't it? OT off/

Henrietta, don't read too much into your friend's remarks about hair. Not everybody takes hair seriously as we do here.

I admit I'm not fond of the "probably envious" explanation. There are many people who simply don't like long hair and are not the least bit envious of long hair. It looks unkempt to them or too wild or out of proportion or unfashionable or whatever. then again, when fashion changes, their opinions change. This is human. My opinions change, too.

So just avoid the topic or agree to disagree. That's what i do with my mother who hates long hair and keeps telling me it makes me old, looks ridiculous on me etc. That's her opinion, and she's entitled to it.

And don't warm yourself up by mixing things like her study plans etc into the batter. It doesn't matter. I've known professors for psychology who said tactless things. Nobody is perfect.

Just let it go. Be at peace with yourself. You can't please everyone, anyway. Why try?

You're right. I try too hard to explain her behaviour when it's just an opinion. Her future specialization doesn't matter indeed. I care so much because I love the hair. But to her it's just an opinion. Like my casual opinions about photography, which is her hobby.

Maverick494
July 1st, 2010, 08:37 PM
Show your friend this picture:

http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/1981/longhairk.jpg

That'll shut her up:D

In all seriousness, there seems to be some kind of stereotype attached to people with very long hair. Long hair seem to be allowed in fantasy movies, comics and such only. My hair is now grazing 30 inches and this game geek guy at school thought it was 'overdone', especially since I do martial arts. I smiled and told him I wanted to grow it even longer. As for the martial arts, I told him: "One word: Nariko."

Seriously, kicking ass never looked better than this:
http://www.ninjatheory.com/forums/signaturepics/sigpic2798_23.gif
http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii241/Mezmacko/Nariko-RealFighter.jpg

Henrietta
July 2nd, 2010, 11:16 AM
Maverick494, this picture is fantastic! I have one more inspiration! Thank you! :)

eresh
July 2nd, 2010, 05:28 PM
My hair is kneelength and one of my best friends sometimes tells me I would look better if I cut it.(she says this to me when I complain about flat hair/volume)
That's her opinion, no problem, I like it looooong, even though I complain sometimes. :-)

My friends and family got used to it slowly along the way, also seeing it wasn't changing ME.

Grow to knee, really!
If you don't you'll regret it later (what if...what would it have been like), if you do and you don't like it, it's easy to cut back :-)

PF Graham
July 3rd, 2010, 12:41 AM
Uhh, hello, your hair and it's shine it to die for!

Time and patience - that's what you have and we all need.

-P

30isthenewblack
July 3rd, 2010, 01:29 AM
There's no reason friends have to agree on hair and no reason to think she's jealous. Most "normal" people dislike knee length hair.

My best friend is not keen on my hair. It doesn't matter. That's not why we're friends.

I don't think she necessarily jealous. She may not like knee length hair as she stated. However, I do think she should keep her opinions to herself unless she is asked specificially what she thinks of her friend's hair. As I've said before, we live in a society where people won't help people attacked on the street but they do think they have a right to offer unsolicited opinions on anything and everything.

Toadstool
July 3rd, 2010, 03:08 AM
. As I've said before, we live in a society where people won't help people attacked on the street but they do think they have a right to offer unsolicited opinions on anything and everything.

Wow that really strikes me!
I will have to think about the opinion thing.I'm so used to people dumping theirs on me it never occurred to me it could be optional!:)

30isthenewblack
July 3rd, 2010, 03:11 AM
Wow that really strikes me!
I will have to think about the opinion thing.I'm so used to people dumping theirs on me it never occurred to me it could be optional!:)

:) Thanks Toadstool. I like the quote on your signature - "The reward for conformity is that everybody likes you except yourself" - Rita Mae Brown". As a non conformist, it's very relevant to me and very appropriate for this thread.

Jessica Trapp
July 3rd, 2010, 05:42 AM
I love knee length hair!

jes

PS If *you* don't like it when it reaches that length, then you can always trim it back.

Fethenwen
July 3rd, 2010, 06:01 AM
Show your friend this picture:
Seriously, kicking ass never looked better than this:
http://www.ninjatheory.com/forums/signaturepics/sigpic2798_23.gif
http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii241/Mezmacko/Nariko-RealFighter.jpg
Hell yeah! But I sort of cringe at it too, it doesn't take much for her hair to get wrapped around her mega sword :p But then again, those type of girls are not meant to be very practical.
---

For the OP, you're friend seems a bit, I dunno bossy? I would not take her words too seriously. It's just her opinion, though she might be jealous of your hair *shrug*

I have a friend who is a bit like that too :p When I told her I'm gonna grow my hair like freakishly long all the way to my butt, she went like: "Yeugh! No way!"

Way :)