Too indecisive for long hair

[JenniferNoel]

I'm positive this has been discussed millions of times on here, but I'm search-challenged without a doubt so here goes this one.

This is by no means a rant or complaint, just a stream of thought.

For a good six or seven years of my life, I was faced with the grow-chop-grow-trim-chop problem, it was all like, I wanted long hair, got to waist length, got bored out of my mind and didn't have time for up-dos, and chopped it off to a bob, probably about three times. When my hair gets long, I get really bored after a few months. I'm wondering if when it gets to my "goal length" this time, I'll be faced with the same problem.

I did every up-do in the book, dyed it, shaped it, braided the thing like crazy, and nothing helped.

But [I]then, after the chop (two week rule was indeed followed), I got terribly bored of the bob, grew that out, and repeated the same thing.

I hate layers, never getting those again, and I'm hoping, fingers crossed, that my new multilength APL/bob cut will make the whole thing less painfully boring.

I'm planning on keeping the front half waist length or shorter, and the back way longer to give it more dimension and variety. I know it'll hinder certain up-dos, but I'll be able to invent new weird ones hahahaha.

Anyone else have the unstoppable crave for change? Even on here?

I'm not really complaining, just kinda... thinking. :cool:

[Hana]

Yep. my frustration length is around BSL.
But then, I know I'll just get the long hair itch. And long hair is SO MUCH easier to maintain than short, especially with my hair.
I'm just gonna have to re-learn patience and tolerance.

[coscass]

I feel like the only person on the planet who never went through the grow-chop-grow thing. I chopped my hair, then grew it for 2 straight years without any temptation. There's a slight temptation now, as I near waist (I'm either near it or there already, I can't freakin' tell anymore), but nothing I can't control and talk myself out of.

[Beets]

I look good with a long bob. I know this about myself. So after a string of bad hair days at BSL+ (I'm not too picky after that), I start the contemplation. A bad hair day with a long bob is just not as INTENSE as a bad hair day with long hair. And of course, the grass always looks greener growing on your hypothetical head rather than your real one.

I think it helps to have good hair models at the length you want to be or stay. Lucky for me this time, before finding LHC, I had one at my work. I saw her and her hip-length, gorgeous hair EVERY DAY. This curbed my tendencies some.

[ericthegreat]

I know I would look very handsome with a crew cut or even a totally shaved head. With that being said, I would take my worse bad hair day with my hair being long over my best hair day with my hair being hypothetically short.

I would know that if I ever wanted to change how I looked, it simply wouldn't be possible if I cut my hair short. I wouldn't be able to ponytail, braid, bun, or style my hair in curls. I would always look exactly the same and for me, that just won't do. I like to switch things up a lot!

[Beesweet]

Yeah, you sound like me.
I can't even keep a hair color for more than 8-12 weeks, it seems.

I have nothing to offer other than commiseration. I doubt my ability to grow it long, then when I get even part way there, I chop and go, "See? I told me I couldn't do it!"

[whiteisle]

:waving: Me. I'm way indecisive. I can't tell you how many times since starting this long hair journey I've thought about cutting it short again. My fav short cut on me was the inverted bob and I still google pics and "wonder". And it doesn't help that dh LOVES!! my hair short. Bad dh! :hatchet:lol

In fact I'm in the middle of a 2 week think-really-hard-about-it phase. I'm sure it will pass. Darn indecision! :shake:

[Tovah]

When I get the urge, my colleague at work reminds me "think of the summer". With curls (frizz) there is nothing worse than having a bob in the summer and not using a blow fryer (which of course I would do) and then getting caught in the rain and looking 10 times worse. Now that I can put my hair up, I fear no rain, I fear no humidity.

[Melisande]

Maybe you should act out your urge for change by experimenting with washing methods, hairtoy collection-building, SMTs and oils? If you have the inner vision of long hair and really love it, cutting it on impulse only sends you back to zero. And then the whole story begins anew.

[ravensinger13]

Maybe you should act out your urge for change by experimenting with washing methods, hairtoy collection-building, SMTs and oils? If you have the inner vision of long hair and really love it, cutting it on impulse only sends you back to zero. And then the whole story begins anew.


I have the occasional urge to shave my head, or just the sides, or just the back, maybe just a little:cool:. Currently I am sticking with the above and celebrating my cutting the last little bit (2in) of damage off a couple of weeks ago.

[vindo]

I used to have that but at a certain point I felt like I had my fun and needed no more.
Learning updos also helps a lot.

[Yozhik]

I cure these by viciously hacking at my split ends! (which is what I did for a portion of my workday today :o)

[Gatubela]

I have the same problem. I get bored easily. What I do lately -and so far is working- is getting small changes, little trims and some long layers always maintaining the length. Also having deep treatments and stuff like that that makes your hair look somewhat different but not drastically.
But I know, it´s hard. And you should be able to have fun with your hair. The problem is doing something out of boredom and then regreting it. What sometimes helps in this case is writing down stuff like "remember how badly you feel now that you've cut it and how much better it looked long" or something like that and then go read ir everytime you feel the urge for a change. :p

[GoddesJourney]

I refuse to pay for a haircut, so if I had this problem I would just *oops* lose my scissors.

[ali beast]

honey, i KNOW the boredom thing... also the "acting out inner turmoil on my head" thing, and the "instant gratification/ trip to 24 hr walgreen's" thing... i like a PP's suggestion to focus on something else... for me, it's been makeup and nail polish. i don't feel the need to let my freak flag fly with my hair anymore cuz i have lotsa tattoos, but it certainly used to be otherwise... but hey, if growing and cutting is yr jam, whateva. i hear some people actually *enjoy* the growing out journey, maybe you're one of those happy souls... :)

[elina333]

When I get the urge, my colleague at work reminds me "think of the summer". With curls (frizz) there is nothing worse than having a bob in the summer and not using a blow fryer (which of course I would do) and then getting caught in the rain and looking 10 times worse. Now that I can put my hair up, I fear no rain, I fear no humidity.

Thats funny, I have the exact same argument! I think about the summer and the horrid, horrid frizz... Even if you're shoulder length or APL its horrible. But if your hair is LONG it wont bother you as much! :cheese: So there you go ;)

[ravenreed]

I used to get bored and would color my hair, or get it cut-- usually when I was depressed and needed a change. Sometimes now when I crave a change I will do something a little different with bangs or whatnot. I try to avoid extreme changes because I am happy with my hair right now, mostly.

I don't think it's horrible that you change your hair often. After all, it is one of the few things we have utter control over. I guess I would just suggest you stick to changes that you know will make you happy in the long run?

[heidihug]

I used to have that but at a certain point I felt like I had my fun and needed no more.
I'm like Emichee. I got all that indecisiveness and desire for change out when I was in my teens and 20's. By the time I hit 35 I had made a relatively unconscious decision to grow my hair long, and I have never looked back.

[freckles]

I actually found that my indecisiveness is what caused me to choose to grow long hair. For over two years, I never had a hair cut because I couldn't decide on a style. :lol: I hummed and hahed over getting it cut for those two years, but never actually got round to it. One day, over two years since my hair had last been cut at all with scissors (not even a trim), I realised I was never going to get round to 'deciding' to hack a load off, decided I was growing it, and joined LHC :)

[frodolaughs]

I've done the short-long-short-long-short-long-short-shorter-shortest-long-short-long thing. I never felt bored with my hair, so I can't advise about that, and I never wanted differently-colored hair, but I did want to try out different things. I eventually realized (and remembered) that I want long hair more when I have a short length than I want short hair at longer lengths, and no longer feel any urge to cut. There's nothing wrong with changing your hair around if that's what you want to do--you just have to remember that length is quicker to lose than to gain. After awhile I also figured out that long hair gives you a lot more styling options than any bob--let alone pixie--could ever give me.

[Unofficial_Rose]

Yeah, you sound like me.
I can't even keep a hair color for more than 8-12 weeks, it seems.



Now this is my trouble. I just can't resist tinkering with the colour. And in the 2 years since I have been on LHC, my hair's been even shorter than its normal shoulder length. Why? Because I have henna'ed and indigo'ed, then highlighted and been forced to chop on account of greenish bleach-indigo situations. Would be bad enough if I'd done this only once, but I've actually done it a couple of times.

Really trying to stick with a dark blonde/light brown this time. I can't go dark again anyway on account of being so grey - nature has actually saved me from this one!

[jivete]

Why not get some wigs? I find if I'm bored, I can wear a cute wig, feel like I have a change, get bored with that and want my hair back. While they can be hot, a lot of new wigs look really good and you can get them pretty inexpensively. The only problem I find with them is I can't wear them in the summer or if I'm dancing a lot.

[intothemist1999]

IF my hair grew quickly, I may well be incline to fiddle with the length more. However, it's taken me 2-1/2 year to finally get to hip, so I'm afraid to even go as "short" as BSL.

[JenniferNoel]

Why not get some wigs?

Been there, done that. LOL. Problem is, just gets annoying to have to put the wigs on and everything, and they can get annoying and itchy after a while (especially in a climate where you inhale the water more so than drink it). Wigs always seemed to make me want my hair to be more like the wig, i.e. I'd get a shorter purple wig, and like it too much, and you can probably guess what happens to my real hair next. :whistle:

[spidermom]

I used to, but since my mid-40s I've had the patience to let it grow (with lots of trims). I can do so much more with it now than I could with it short so getting bored is not a problem.

[Merkaba]

For me I just know how much better I look with long hair, and that will prevent me from cutting short.

[jivete]

Been there, done that. LOL. Problem is, just gets annoying to have to put the wigs on and everything, and they can get annoying and itchy after a while (especially in a climate where you inhale the water more so than drink it). Wigs always seemed to make me want my hair to be more like the wig, i.e. I'd get a shorter purple wig, and like it too much, and you can probably guess what happens to my real hair next. :whistle:

I have the opposite problem. I like it for a little while, but I'm quickly sick of it. Long hair is so much more versatile than a short cut. No matter how cute it is, most short hair cuts can only be style in so many varieties.

There's no reason not to change your hair up on a regular basis if you want to. And if you truly crave change but also want long-ish hair, just try to keep it long enough that you can use some clip-in extensions. Unlike wigs, the clip-ins don't get hot and I always found them to be pretty comfortable. I guess you have to put the clip-ins in, but they're pretty easy to master and you can even do updo's with them.

[Sammich]

Oh gosh, I have the exact same problem. I get incredibly bored and I've dyed over 5 times in my life, which isn't a long life so far! :p
I'm planning the same as you, keeping the front shorter and the back longer. ;) It's absolutely beautiful to envision and I hope that I am able to do it!
We're in this all together JenJen! :cheese:
How I've sort of fixed my problem is buying new hair toys and new hair stuff, e.g oils and conditioners and shampoos... AND, thinking how pretty it'll be when it's longer... :p
What does suck is due to my haircut, I can't do very much with it! :p Haha!

[jenga]

This is me! I grow it and then I'll see a great short haircut and convince myself that I have to have it. I also have a hard time committing to a color. But I don't think there's anything wrong with it! It's fun to have a new hair cut and then grow out long again. I think as soon as you stop liking the way your hair is, you should change it.

[JenniferNoel]

It's been said 68,839,523 times already... but I always remember that what's the point of having hair if you're not going to like the hair you have, regardless of the length. I've always loved long hair... I'm just wishy washy haha.
When it does get long I'm probably still going to change my hemline and color every couple months or whatever... why not right? It's like... I got all this hair, what to do with it but make it in to art (that's just me I guess LOL).
:hooched:

[BrightEyes7]

I get a temptation every once in a while and tell DBF "I'm just going to chop it all off!!!:scissors:" And then he so kindly reminds me that 1. I would hate it and 2. That everyone wants my long hair so why would I get rid of it.

That reminds me why I don't get rid of him :laugh:

I love going to see his family because it never fails, I wear my hair down and they are complementing me all night... They like worship long hair :bowtome:

I am a weird long hair-er though... I'm not attached to my hair. Obviously I am physically attached but not emotionally. If someone paid me $100 to cut my hair I would. I think it's because I always had short hair growing up. My mother didn't have enough paitence to deal with my wavy hair.:silly:

[Fractalsofhair]

I think it helps that my sorta boyfriend loves my hair to be at least as long as his, as do a lot of the guys I'd consider dating, as a lot of them have longer hair. Also, looking at hair toys helps me not want to go back to a pixie as I'm at midneck now. Plus, I've always wanted longer hair since I have trouble growing it long with normal means, leading to breakage. Remembering how horrid at hair cutting a lot of stylists are, and that I don't have 3-4 hours to heat style(which would lead to my hair breaking off at the scalp!), also helps me avoid cutting it. How many times do you have a short hair cut that looks amazing, and when you need it touched up, they just can't!

[zen_oven]

I've done that in the past. . . was pretty much my M.O. up until a few years ago. Now I'm so determined to finally get it to waist length that I'm fighting the urge to cut even to gain thickness. I'm holding out as long as I can and then I'll trim to try to get the length looking thicker.

[BrightEyes]

Oh my, I struggle with this SO much! The past couple years I've been caught in the chop-grow-chop-grow cycle. I have always loved and coveted long hair. But I look better with short hair, especially an inverted bob. I had that style for at least 6 years, and before that I had it even shorter. I have so many pictures of myself that I have to hide away when I am tempted to cut. I'm at that length right now where I have to really cheer myself on to keep growing.

I want to have long hair at least once in my life. Who knows, when I get to my goal I may find out that it wasn't all that I thought it would be and I will cut it all off (I really hope not!). But I think that if I didn't grow it long I would always wonder.

[Kelli Kat]

I've been through that. I'm actually kind of there right now. I keep feeling like I want to cut my hair, but I know I'll hate if I do, so I'm trying to work through it. Coming to LHC has helped alot, with learning ways to take care of it and wearing it up more.

[JenniferNoel]

I'm like Emichee. I got all that indecisiveness and desire for change out when I was in my teens and 20's. By the time I hit 35 I had made a relatively unconscious decision to grow my hair long, and I have never looked back.

The indecisiveness for me started in the early teens. Hormones can make a huge impact on one's decisions, fortunately I personally grew out of the "I'm ugly, fat, nobody likes me" stage all the way back at around age 14 and lost all care, moved in to a cave with a pet squirrel named Dave... and that was also the month I decided to use my hair as an art canvas............... :golf:


maybe you're one of those happy souls... :)

I noticed over time that the happier I am, the more I desire physical change (I am, indeed, one of those people that crave constant change, whether it be scenery, hair, clothing, food, hobbies, anything really). Whatever's inside comes out. Been that way since I can remember the earliest moments of the fibers of my very existence. :twisted::coolblue:

[Gilraen]

It is nearing that "indecisive" time for me as well. Right now I'm growing to waistlength (I don't think I'll grow any longer) but around this time I usually get the urg to call the haircutters/salon/whathaveyou. Usually I try to resist, then ultimately cave in. I think I'm going to try a different approach this time though. I'll make a nice long list of the reasons why I prefer long hair, collect a ton of pictures of how I want my hair to look, and start slowly experimenting.
The hardest part is going to be waiting for it to grow to where I want it so I can get my layers cut again (I have curly hair so I need layers at the ends).

[templeofvenus]

I am a compulsice hair cgopper when it gets to shoulder I get bored and go for a bob again....... I really want to break out of this darn cycle lol :)

[georgia_peach]

I am an expert grow-chop-grow-chop cycler! But over the past year I realized the urge to cut my hair was fading away on its own. Sometimes I think about a particular hairstyle that would require a cut, but then I can just let it go now and get back to growing.

[Dani]

Thank you so much for this thread. I've been going through this forever and ever, and I have no idea how to just be happy with any hair I've got. I always want something "different"! It's a trip to read about how people feel about this. My biggest problem is and always has been that I've cut my own hair all my life, and have an awesome pair of shears that I adore... therefore, it's trim-it-up city over here. :p It's just So Much Fun to cut my hair, and I love to do it! But I look a million times better with long hair. Plus, I still remember that "feminine and pretty" feeling I had with long hair (and I'm a total tomboy :p but the feeling is nice... to always feel like I look good, heh).

My other big problem is that I had BSL hair (that was a huge pain in the bum to take care of, and it was so heavy and just drove me nuts in general, even though I always felt pretty), and I chopped it to my shoulders when my dd was 1 (she's four now), then a couple days later chopped it to chin, then couldn't stand what was left on my head-- did I mention I had actually gotten all my natural hair grown out to BSL?! Shock!-- and chopped it into one hellacious pixie. Well, it wasn't that bad, but it is very hard to cut a pixie on your own head. :pumpkin: So, point? My point is that my second problem has been just getting used to it growing! That is the one and only time I've had a pixie, and my DOG, it is tough to grow that shizz out! I mean, I'm finally almost to SL and getting used to more length much more easily, but since that pixie up until now, I have trimmed and cut my hair countless times. It was just so fscking hard to grow it out, and I have no idea how people get pixies and then just grow, grow, grow with no real problem... I did the absolute opposite of that.

Anyway, I don't mean to get all emotional about it, it's just nice to get this out of my head for once. ...Cause it's been highly annoying, and I feel like I'm almost finally really quite there. :p Ready to grow it longer... I'd like to get to APL at least (or waist or hip like when I was a kid, before I chopped it to SL at 13), just to see what it's like again... I LOVE to do braids of all sorts and twin buns are the best, so that's cool. People on here like to say that long hair is way easier to take care of, but I beg to differ (in my case)... It's a huge pain but worth it if your mind can be there and take it. And methinks I'm ready to go there with my grown up mind now... just to see if I can do it. Because getting past SL is nearly impossible with my scissors hanging around! Thanks for letting me rant... but what choice did you have? :D Surely I can't be the only one who has had a hard time just trying to get to shoulder length!









That is all.

[Armelle]

Yes, but I keep photos of me with short hair around to put an end to any hair-cutting desire! :D
Recently I've been having fun with wool dreads. Yay color!

[JenniferNoel]

My point is that my second problem has been just getting used to it growing! That is the one and only time I've had a pixie, and my DOG, it is tough to grow that shizz out! I mean, I'm finally almost to SL and getting used to more length much more easily, but since that pixie up until now, I have trimmed and cut my hair countless times. It was just so fscking hard to grow it out, and I have no idea how people get pixies and then just grow, grow, grow with no real problem... I did the absolute opposite of that.

Anyway, I don't mean to get all emotional about it, it's just nice to get this out of my head for once. ...Cause it's been highly annoying, and I feel like I'm almost finally really quite there. :p Ready to grow it longer... I'd like to get to APL at least (or waist or hip like when I was a kid, before I chopped it to SL at 13), just to see what it's like again... I LOVE to do braids of all sorts and twin buns are the best, so that's cool. People on here like to say that long hair is way easier to take care of, but I beg to differ (in my case)... It's a huge pain but worth it if your mind can be there and take it. And methinks I'm ready to go there with my grown up mind now... just to see if I can do it. Because getting past SL is nearly impossible with my scissors hanging around! Thanks for letting me rant... but what choice did you have? :D Surely I can't be the only one who has had a hard time just trying to get to shoulder length!




Ahh, I totally understand (and feel your pain). SL is hands down the most awkward phase for pretty much everyone, it feels a little weird until ya can brush it behind your shoulders (but I love having hair in my face, or else I feel "face naked" - hence I have a bob in front and APL in the back, and plan to keep the front shorter than the rest as stated in the main post :cool:).
But seriously, once you get past the shoulders, it's smooth sailing. Open to more up-dos and all that fun stuff... what got me past the shoulders in particular was color, color, color. And a few clip-ins here and there.
And I forbid everyone to forget about the Gibson tuck and sock bun. Those things are like... miracles. :bowtome:

[hendrix.co]

try for extensions, or wigs, or clip in colors. I've once, on a terribly bad hair day, had the STRONG urge to buzz my entire head! Woman and their hormones.

[Sunny_side_up]

Hi!

think of the lovely length you can pamper and do fun treatments on, i had a short razored bob and heavy fringe a couple years back, i didn't know what razoring was then, just let the woman loose on my head, felt weird while she was doing the razoring, could almost hear my hair screaming! Also had the hottest blow dry ever:mad:
After first wash it was all puffed! So from that moment i was having mum do regular trims, kept fringe for about 6months then that joined the rest of my growth, so 2years later the last of my fringe caught up, my hair just passing shoulder- what do i decide to do- go for a layered cut!
But this time no razoring or blowdry, got a choppy layered past the shoulder cut. Few weeks after i thought its feeling healthy & the past was chopped away so growing from then. Coming up to 2months no cutting in 2 weeks!:cheese:

All the best in your growing journey and the path to glorious locks

[jexichan]

Wouldn't it just be perfect if you could freely alternate between hair lengths without the arduous growing out stages? The summers are sweltering here and every single year I remember how amazingly carefree, quick, and cool it was to have very short, even shaved, hair. Alas, I think I'm going to play with wigs or vegetable dyes the next time I get the urge to chop. It is a vicious dilemma because I don't like bangs or layers, but am not entirely thrilled with all-one-length hair either. It's stressful being a changeling. :)

Good luck!

[aef231]

Oh, boy. Story of my life. I've done so much to/with my hair, I'm pretty much over the need to experiment... I've had my fun as far as having a hot pink mohawk, and then a shaved head. I gotta tell you, I loved both of those, especially the shaved head... but now I'm pretty much done with that sort of thing. I'm sure I'll cut my hair short again eventually (not shaved, more like a pixie) cause I actually think I look better that way. But my hair has been short for a few years now, and I miss all the fun stuff I can do with it long. So for now, next stop: waist-length!!! :cheese:

[venividibxtchy]

Hi-5. Totally been there.

I wasn't the type of person to continually cut or change the color of my hair, so my time for boredom to set in is a bit longer than some of those in this thread...but it eventually happens, nonetheless.

Every few years, I cut my hair somewhere between APL and BSL, and then miss my hair terribly, grow it out, and get bored again around tailbone.

I wish I had better advice other than to give it a few weeks. But if you're as indecisive as me, that probably won't help much.

ETA: You may find in a few years that you are tired of going through that repetitive cycle, and that one length feels more like "you". I think now that I don't wish for my hair to be shorter than waist ever again. We'll see. Whether that means layered or not, whether it means waist or hip or tailbone are both another matter.